Chapter Text
Hajime sat up from his bed, yawning. He hadn’t slept well last night, or any night since this nightmare of a school trip started. The exhaustion had long since settled in his bones by now. He rubbed at the corners of his eyes, hoping to somehow remove his exhaustion.
He glanced at the clock in his cottage, noting that it was much earlier than he’d assumed. Guess ‘last night’ was more like a few hours ago. He’d grown tired of this unhealthy pattern, sleep eluding him till sunrise and catching up to him during the day. He’d tried everything at his disposal, yet to no avail.
Hajime stood up slowly, stretching and cracking his back. He knew he wasn’t going to get much more sleep tonight, so feeling dejected, he figured why bother.
He reached towards the handle of the door, the harsh cold of the handle making him wince. Perhaps it had been a sign, the universe warning him to stay in his cottage, warning him to not indulge his curiosity, not to give in to his innate desire to understand people, one that called to him like a puzzle waiting to be solved. He braced himself as he turned the knob and faced the world.
The cold breeze rushed past him as he sighed, a small smile on his lips. He gazed up at the dark sky, taking in the beauty. The hints of purple and pink swirling and blending elegantly, the glimmering stars that seemed to stand out more that evening.
The subtle crashing of the waves called to him as he walked along the beach. As his mind quieted, alone with the night, the world felt peaceful for once. A feeling he so often craved, yet solemnly got. Brisk air filled his lungs, the tinge of pain graciously numbing his thoughts. He frequently wished his mind would fall silent, yet it almost never relented.
Grains of sand whisked away with the wind. Hajime shifted his gaze to the sea, captivated by its rhythmic sounds. He slowly settled into the sand, no longer caring how it would inevitably cling to him when he left. He sat for a while, time slipping away from him as he gazed at the shore.
When he heard another approach him, he made no move to leave. Their cape fluttering in the wind, their light footsteps, the calming quiet they kept, somehow only relaxed him further.
The unknown person didn’t speak a word, but sat next to him. It didn’t take long for Hajime to figure out who it was, only a few seconds, the muddy green jacket giving him away.
As they sat together in silence, he studied the person next to him. The way his pale face shone in the moonlight, the way his long white hair swayed with the breeze, the unintelligible look on his face.
Nagito looked calmer than usual, though that wasn’t saying much. When they’d first met, he seemed easy to figure out, the guy who stays calm and takes action. But then he’d revealed his ‘true’ self during the first trial, saying he’d help the killer, let himself be murdered.
But Hajime couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to him. That he was smarter than he let on, strategically building his image and reputation, building walls around himself. He seemed intent on keeping them up no matter what, but for just that night, Hajime felt he could see through the cracks, if only a little.
He decided to break the comfortable silence, still staring ahead.
“Can’t sleep?”
Nagito nodded, smiling faintly, “Never been that great at it to be honest.”
Hajime hummed in response, he knew what that was like.
“What made you come here?”
Nagito shrugged.
“Something about tonight just seemed different. Pretty lucky running into you though.”
Hajime paused.
“...was that a pun?”
He chuckled quietly.
They settled into a serene sort of quiet again, staring across the shore together. Hajime leaned back, letting the wind brush his face as he sighed. He hadn’t truly expected to cure his restless anxiety when he’d left, but he was grateful for the break. The world seemed to enjoy his suffering, if he were to take anything from his recent circumstances. Though now that he thought about it, even when his surroundings weren’t miserable he’d always felt defective, wrong, never quite able to grasp that fleeting sense of happiness he’d always chased. Maybe it was him that was wrong, the very existence of him, the universe deciding to punish him for entertainment.
Hajime’s thoughts shifted from himself to the person beside him again. He gazed at him once more, always somehow captivated by his effortless grace. The others seemed to look at him with disdain, but no matter his actions there was something that drew him to Nagito. He seemed shrouded in mystery, never letting on more than necessary.
“I wish this could last,” Nagito said softly.
He paused to think.
“Nothing gold can stay,” Hajime quoted.
He’d remembered the poem from a book he’d read when taking English lessons. He found it beautiful, the book, the poem, the language. Tragedy seemed to mesmerize certain writers, he found. He couldn't blame them, he’d often felt spellbound in similar ways. Bringing beauty to the melancholy comforted him and many others with similar woes.
He let himself fall back into the sand, exhaustion finally catching up with him. A faint voice in the back of his head wondered if it was because of the person next to him, his calming nature allowing Hajime to let his guard down. That somehow always happened when he was near Nagito. Though it might’ve been specific to Hajime, as the others always seemed on edge around him. Before he could really think about what that might mean, he felt his eyes slip closed. He slowly drifted off to sleep, quietly wondering if one day he’d finally solve the puzzle of who Nagito Komaeda truly was. What was it that motivated his actions? What secrets did he seem so determined to hide? Why was Hajime drawn to him?
———
When he awoke, some part of him wished he hadn’t. That he could slip into peaceful silence of sleep, never again interrupted by the complexities of life. He wondered if the night before was even worth it. If it was just another taste of something he could never have, would never deserve. If he knew who Nagito really was, would he even like what’s there?
Hajime groaned as he sat up, the sand scratching at his exposed skin. He rubbed his eyes as he tried to adjust to the blinding sunshine. He would’ve laughed at the irony of the weather if he wasn’t so tired.
He pushed down the depressing thoughts, attempting to prepare himself for yet another draining day ahead. Though there was one thing he wasn’t totally dreading today. Still bound by Nagito’s mystery, he thought about what their next interaction might be. Maybe he’d get to see more of the Nagito from last night. Perhaps it’d be more of the persona he’d crafted to hide himself. Whatever it was, Hajime wanted to know.