Work Text:
Maybe I
Lost my mind
No one noticed
No one noticed
It all feels empty.
All the centuries of acting, waiting, deceiving others, has all come to its cinematic climax.
And yet, why does she feel nothing? If anything, she should be glad that the suffering has finally come to an end, no longer eating at her every single day. No more pain, no more torture.
But alas, things aren’t that simple.
It was never simple in the first place when the whole situation hinged on a 500 year long masquerade, pretending to be someone who was essentially the opposite of who she was in actuality.
As she lays in her bed at her apartment at the Palais Mermonia, she reminisces about all the things that she has done throughout the centuries, her secret efforts to research about the prophecy while also trying to please her people to the best of her ability through the many trials conducted at the Opera Epiclese.
All that effort, and yet, there wasn’t really any form of comfort or acknowledgement through it all. If there were any people who did, they’d just grow old and pass away with time, leaving her with nothing but her memory of them in the grand scheme of things, forgotten by most people as centuries come and go.
It felt lonely.
Oh, so lonely.
At that point all she wanted was to disappear from existence, free from her pain, but every time she did so, the curse placed upon her by her Divinity would interfere, preventing her from attaining the freedom that she sought, as if they were chains bound to her.
It's getting old (I'd kinda like it if you'd call me)
All alone ('cause I'm so over bein' lonely)
May have lost it (I need a virtual connection)
I have lost it (be my video obsession)
Her torment had reached its peak to the point where she didn’t even notice the tears she had shed on a daily basis, and yet, she can’t help but also think of the positives that had occurred, no matter how insignificant it may seem.
She focused on the biggest positive of them all.
Neuvillette. The Hydro Dragon Sovereign. The Chief Justice of Fontaine. Her dear Iudex.
While things were certainly rocky between them when he first came to Fontaine due to his initial indifference towards humanity, she still tried to show him the wonders of the human world, the ups and downs, as well as the interesting characters they would meet along the way.
It took many years, but eventually, Neuvillette was able to fall in love with humanity and see the beauty they have to offer just as she did.
The first time she ever saw him smile was one that she will certainly cherish until the end of time.
Even in her darkest moments, she clung to that memory like a lifeline, as if she were to forget it if she were to let go.
As if she would forget him.
And yet, no matter how much she wants him to know her, the real her, she can’t bring herself to expose her true feelings. Not with the threat of the prophecy looming over their heads at the time.
Maybe this time would be different.
Tears fell once more, and yet, she still felt nothing, just like rivers flowing out into the ocean.
No one tried
To read my eyes
No one but you
Wish it weren't true
“Forgive me for saying this now, Lady Furina, but I have long known of your various secret investigations into certain matters.”
“You have never been as superficial as you have presented yourself to be, nor are you a fool. And yet, your behavior is very inconsistent…”
The moment she heard those words, it lit up her entire demeanor.
Finally, someone who paid attention to her efforts!
Someone who noticed her little intricacies, someone who cares.
And yet…
She still had to play the role of the Hydro Archon.
“So, you've been watching me all this time, have you? I didn't think you were that type!”
“You…”
As much as she wanted to spill everything out to him at that very moment, she had a prophecy to prevent.
As much as it pains her.
And so, their argument ended with her dodging the question once more and skipping off to the opera with a smile on her face, to the ever growing dismay of the Iudex.
She wished she’d told him.
Maybe I (I'd kinda like it if you'd call me)
It's not right ('cause I'm so over being lonely)
Make you mine (I need a virtual connection)
Take our time (be my video obsession)
She truly wished she’d told him.
Maybe then she wouldn’t have gone through the trauma she did with that trial for deceiving everyone.
It was necessary.
Maybe she should go and reach out to Neuvillette and apologize for deceiving him and the others for so many years. He’d probably conduct a proper trial this time around for her crimes.
It’s what she deserves.
In a better life, she would be able to spend her days being the Archon, with no prophecy in sight, no pretending. Just her, and the Iudex, co-ruling Fontaine until the end of time.
Or better yet, they could just leave the role of Iudex and Archon behind, spending it by travelling the world together, issues be damned. Leave the rule of Fontaine to the people, not unlike the current situation of Liyue today.
The thought alone brings some comfort to her endless stream of numb tears.
Hours passed, Furina remained still in her bed, drained of all emotion.
A knock was heard at the door.
“Furina?” A low, but gentle voice asked.
It was Neuvillette.
Come on, don't leave me it can't be that easy, babe
If you believe me I guess I'll get on a plane
Fly to your city excited to see your face
Hold me, console me and then I'll leave without a trace
The door opens a bit to reveal his silhouette.
No matter how much she tries, she couldn’t bring herself to speak up and respond. It was as if her energy to even speak had been drained from all that has happened.
Seconds pass by. She could feel him staring at her still figure, probably full of concern for her well-being.
He’s checking to see if she’s fit to be put on trial for her crimes.
“Furina?” He speaks again. “Are you alright? I would like to explain everything that happened after your verdict, if that is permissible to you.”
Silence flows once more.
A few more seconds pass by.
…
“...Very well. I shall tell you another time, once you’ve managed to recuperate.” He reluctantly whispers just loud enough for Furina to hear.
He begins to turn around and close the door with him when-
“Wait.”
Neuvillette pauses and looks back, not expecting her to respond.
Furina managed to sit up from her bed, still looking rather frail. “Please, don’t leave. Don’t leave me here. Not again.” She cried out, a few more of her tears fell.
Neuvillette re-enters the room, this time walking up to her bedside.
The two exchange glances for a brief moment before Furina manages to speak up.
“I- I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For deceiving you, and for deceiving the people of Fontaine for centuries. If you’re here to finally put me on trial and punish me for my own crimes, then just say it already.” She responds, despondent.
Neuvillette takes his time to formulate a response.
“Furina, I can’t put you on trial for something that you were never guilty for in the first place. That isn’t the ‘justice’ you deserve.”
“But what is my ‘justice’ then? If putting me on trial for pretending to be the Hydro Archon isn’t on the table for you, then what is my ‘justice’?”
His response was short but straight to the point.
“To live.”
“Huh?”
“That is what your Divinity wanted. For you to live on as a human just as you both desired. Surely you’ve heard a voice saying something akin to those words, yes?”
Mirror-me said that?
She could barely recall a voice that said something similar as chaos occurred at the Opera Epiclese while she was weeping on her throne, thinking that the plan had failed.
That she had failed.
…I guess she did.
“Not just to live a normal human life, but to also take in and appreciate the things humanity has to offer, your people included.” He added.
After taking the information in for a few moments, Furina finally replied.
“Please, tell me what happened. And how did you know of Mirror-me?"
And so, Neuvillette began to tell her everything.
It takes a while for her to process everything she was told.
She neither seemed saddened nor comforted by everything else Neuvillette told her concerning her Divinity.
But one thing was certain, if she were to actually fulfill what both her and Mirror-her wanted in the first place…
“I.. I’m abdicating the role of Hydro Archon and leaving everything to you.”
“But for now… I’m tired. I’d like to rest, Neuvillette.”
If Neuvillette was surprised, his face didn’t show it.
“As you wish… Furina.”
He turns and leaves the room, leaving Furina alone with her thoughts.
I wanted to stay
Wanted to be there
Wanted to hold you
But I
I was afraid
Wanted to be there
I should've told you
The next day, Furina left the Palais Mermonia, leaving behind centuries of terrible, painful memories.
If Furina had any regrets, it would be not giving Neuvillette and Clorinde their proper goodbyes before leaving.
Especially Neuvillette.
Her only constant throughout those centuries of torture.
As much as she wanted to go back and remain in the Palais to be by his side, she knew that it was for the best to go their separate ways.
At least for now.