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After almost a decade of friendship, James was very, very, used to House just barging into his office at all times. Under any circumstances, whether he be with a terminally ill patient breaking the worst news imaginable, doing paperwork, or just laying down in the beat up sofa after an emotionally deranged day. It was kinda his favorite when House joined him on the sofa to just lie down (he had a very strict no funny business rule House vetoed at every chance).
James would not admit it even under duress, but it made him, secretly, very fond when House barged into his office to just get away and chit chat, or to brainstorm ideas. To know that he was House’s safe person, and safe place, made him giddy like a school girl with a crush instead of a respected doctor, almost in his forties.
So when House, albeit dramatically, walked into his office on a not so calm Thursday morning and draped himself on his chair as if he owned the place, he did not even look up.
“So, this thing means,” House held up his hand, “means we are going to get hitched, right?”
James sighed, and dropped his pen, so much for getting caught up with paperwork.
“That’s usually what happens when people are engaged,” he said. “Well, unless you’re not dragging Carmen down the aisle.”
“What a woman, things I have given up for you, Jimmy,” House said, “Did you know her breasts are au-naturale?”
“No, impressive, but no,” James shook his head. “Not that I needed to know that.”
House just shrugged, and James was still waiting for the bomb to drop. It was never this easy with House, and if he willingly brought up the wedding topic, which he never did unless it was to make outrageous suggestions, there must be a sincere thought. James hoped the sincere thought did not involve any strippers, at least.
“I have an appointment in 20 minutes, House.” James nudged, “Just tell me what the next big idea is.”
“I’m making Chase the flower girl, he will look just amazing in a dress and tiara.”
“House.” James said, a bit sternly this time. “I don’t think your fellows even know we are engaged.”
“Well they would, if they, I don’t know, take a look at the rings maybe” House shrugged. “Wearing matching gold rings with your best buddy should scream ‘I suck his dick’ to them”
“Just out with it will you?” James sighed, again.
“Fine, fine!” House held up his hand as if he was completely innocent. “I was thinking you should be tired of all the same old sickness and health bumbo jumbo you did it three times already, how about we write our own vows?”
Well, ain’t that a thought. It honestly frightened James to even consider what might House say in front of all of their family and friends. He was allergic to showing his emotions, let alone fondness and love, and would turn their vows into a shit show with just one sentence.
He would most likely bring up his past, very failed marriages, hookers, or worse, their sex life, loud and proud while James looks like he is about to snap, or worse, faint, at the altar.
Still, even though the idea filled him with dread, it made him feel like a hypocrite. It was his unpredictable and brash personality that James was so intrigued by, even back in ‘91.
Even as a young doctor, House was so sure of himself, James could tell it from the way he carried himself. He was not concerned about what the people would say or think, he was brutally honest, and James had no chance. It was like a moth would be drawn to a flame, as the good son of a middle-class Jewish family, House was everything James outwardly could not be.
He never stood a chance, he always wanted House in one way or another. He wanted to be like House, carefree and confident, and then he wanted to be his friend because he could be himself when House was there. It just took him almost a decade to admit he wanted to be with House.
“Okay, I will bite. Do you have anything prepared?”
"How about something like 'you make my special place tingle' original huh?" House raised his eyebrows.
"I swear on my mother's grave, I will leave you at the altar House."
"Your mother is alive."
"She won't be much longer if you start your vows like that."
“Good thing there’ll be a bunch of doctors at the wedding,” House smirked. “A little heart attack is not going to kill the party.
“Yes, just my mother,” James said.
“The only thing you are killing is the joy.” House rolled his eyes at him. “I get to be the fourth and last Mrs. Wilson, let me have my fun”
James too believed, hoped, that House would be the last Mrs. Wilson too, granted it would be more like ‘the-other-Doctor-Wilson’ in their case but still.
But James also believed that House would divorce him for shits and giggles, he was sure. Just to make him an alleged fourth alimony. He did not have the heart to tell House he was paying only one, as Sam got remarried and Julie cheated on him first.
“I didn’t know you were trans, honey.” James put his hand over House’s on his desk, “Thank you for trusting me with it.”
“Oh, yes, I will be wearing a nice white dress to symbolize my purity for you.” House played along. “I heard gowns with trains are very popular.”
“You would not know what purity is if it smacked you in the face,” James said. “An action that I, too would like to take sometimes.
“Kinky.” House winked. “Circling back, vows?”
“I’d rather have you marry Carmen than to do our own vows.”
“Ouch, Wilson, words hurt.” House said. “Compromise then, how about we just head to the City Hall and be done with the bureaucratic nonsense?”
“You want to get married at the City Hall?” James asked. “Do you suggest that we elope?”
“It’s either that or I’m writing the vows for us both,” House said.
“Okay, fine, I’ll marry you at the City Hall.” James accepted, it did not really matter to him where or how they would get married, as long as they were.”But you are telling both of our parents.”
House just leveled him with a look, and took out his phone to dial someone. Cuddy, apparently to ask for an extended lunch break for a very important business.
“Hey, wait, no, today?” James asked frantically.
“Yes, Wilson, today. We ain’t getting any younger.” House said. “I call on dibs on Cuddy as my witness.”
“You planned this.” James accused. “You knew I’d say yes to eloping after that disaster of a line.”
“You can never prove it,” House smirked, leaned to give a kiss to a still shell-shocked James. “See you at our lunch date, don’t forget it this time, it’s an important one.”
James just nodded, it was indeed an important one. He was finally marrying his best friend.
He just needed to bribe Cuddy to be his witness now.