Chapter Text
For someone who has prided herself on her ability to play detective over the years, Lexi Howard is more than a little disappointed at how long it takes for her to put the clues together this time. In hindsight it really should have been more obvious as to what, or who , has been causing her sister's rapid cycling of emotions the last several weeks. The signs were all there, plain as day. It’s just that Cassie had been a Class I Disaster for weeks now and it was hard to tell if her constant up and down emotions were due to A) her break up with McKay (which they don’t talk about) or B) her abortion (which they also don’t talk about) or even maybe C) both.
However, it would appear that the real answer is D) None of the Above.
Honestly, she should have been clued in a lot faster than she was, it’s not like Cassie is exactly the Queen of Subtlety. The fact that Lexi wasn’t immediately calling bullshit as to why her sister was so upset about Nate being pummeled nearly to death on New Years Eve can only be chalked up to her own personal belief that the asshole deserved it. If anyone needed to be knocked down a peg around East Highland, it was Nate fucking Jacobs.
Nate had been absolutely foul to anyone he didn’t deem worthy of his time for years, and that had often included Cassie. Lexi had done her best to make herself invisible to the jock, and usually that did the trick for her own self preservation, but both her sister and Rue were less capable. It’s not that she out right hated the guy either, at least not at first. He was a dick, but no worse than any other football player in her opinion.
But then she saw the bruises around Maddy’s neck, and she determined that Nate Jacobs had no redeeming qualities.
Which is why she was absolutely appalled when she figured out what her sister had been doing.
“Where have you been?” she hisses as Cassie shimmies through the window to their bedroom.
Cassie gives her an annoyed look. “Out. I didn’t feel like letting mom know.
“Since when does Mom care if you’re out on a Friday night?”
Cassie just huffs a petulant sigh, shoving the denim jacket down her shoulders. “You know how she is, Lex. I didn’t want the third degree from her, and I sure fucking don’t want it from you, either.”
Lexi cringes, almost apologetically. She gets it, their mother swings so easily between being the nosiest parent alive and not giving a single solitary fuck, it’s hard to guess which one might be making an appearance on any given day. But still, Lexi can’t help but press on. She knows her sister better than anyone, or so she had thought up until Cassie started keeping secrets. Even so, Lexi can tell something is up.
“I would have covered for you, you know,” she mumbles as she settles back into her bed. “If you’d just told me what you were doing with Maddy.”
“I wasn’t fucking with Maddy,” Cassie snaps instantly, harsh and angry. “Not everything I do is about Maddy; god, Lexi. I have other fucking friends.”
“Jesus,” she says as she pulls on a loose string on her bedding. “Sorry. It’s just that you two have been spending your Friday nights together since you’ve both been single, so I guess I just assumed tonight was no different. Don’t worry, I won’t be doing that any longer.”
Her sister kicks off the short heels she wears and gives Lexi a withering look. “Good. I’m not a little fucking kid, Lexi. I don’t need you to babysit me.”
The blonde whirls out of their shared room and into the adjacent bathroom immediately, Lexi sighing as she hears the lock click in place. Trying to reach out to Cassie feels beyond useless at this point, whatever the fuck is going on is just going to have to play out the way it’s going to. Picking her book back up, Lexi is reaching for the string on her lamp when Cassie’s phone starts buzzing somewhere in the room. As soon as it stops, it picks back up again, and by the third time Lexi is more than annoyed at the sound. Tossing her book aside, she flings off her covers as she hears the water running from their shared shower - and the poorly concealed sobs Cassie tries to hide behind the noise.
It’s easy to locate the phone, it’s still shoved in the pocket of the oversized denim jacket her sister had been wearing. Quickly Lexi silences the device, not even paying attention to the notifications on the lock screen.
Until something unexpected catches her eye.
Namely, the three missed calls coming from Nate Jacobs.
Once it becomes clear that the root of Cassie’s problems is none other than Nate Jacobs, Lexi is a little more than furious.
The truth coming out would basically mean the end of Cassie’s life as she knows it. As much as Lexi knows her friends are really just Cassie’s friends, she doesn’t think her sister realizes that her friends are actually Maddy’s friends. If it came down to it, not a single one of the girls in their group would pick Cassie over Maddy if they knew that Cassie was fucking her ex. Even Lexi, who loves her sister to death, doesn’t think she’d be able to defend her in the end.
So really, it’s not just Cassie’s life on the line here. It’s hers too.
It’s not that Lexi can’t imagine what’s even tempting to the girls of East Highland in regards to Nate Jacobs. He’s tall, athletic, conventionally attractive. It’s just that she doesn’t see the appeal.
Now despite the popular opinion that Little Howard is a prude , Lexi has more experience under the belt than her peers realize. She’s just not out here bragging about it. There was an older girl at theater camp the summer between Freshman and Sophomore years that had taught Lexi all about the pleasure of giving and receiving oral sex, and then she’d lost her virginity to one of the sound tech guys at the cast party after last year's spring musical.
Then of course there’s the long standing, complicated crush she has on everyone’s favorite plug. Every time she thinks she’s over her attraction to Fezco O’Neill, he drags her back in.
Lexi hadn’t been there on New Year's Eve when Rue’s former dealer had nearly put Nate down for good, even though she was supposed to be. She wasn’t a huge partier if she was being honest, but Lexi had been hoping for a chance to reconnect with her sister after the mess that was the entire month of December. The house that had been shrouded in an unspeakable melancholy since right after the Winter Formal and Cassie’s abortion, so much so that even their traditional chuckling over Jews stealing Christmas from the Christians wasn’t as much of a highlight to the holiday season as it typically was.
But all plans of attending the party went flying out the window when Cassie immediately started picking a fight as the sisters got ready. First about Lexi’s hair, then about her outfit choice, and lastly about her shoes. She’d tried to brush it off, reminded herself that Cassie was always making some light hearted jab at her expense, but these words were down right mean. So a mere ten minutes before they intended to leave, Lexi handed the car keys to Cassie and told her to go have fun herself because she wasn’t attending anymore.
Watching her mother’s taillights head down the street had given Lexi immediate regret, but after washing off the makeup and queuing up one of her many comfort movies, Stand By Me, she had felt a little better about the choice. She fucking hated the party scene anyway, it was always chasing her sister or friends around some strangers house, making sure they didn’t get too fucked up or do something stupid. It was exhausting.
And she was comfortable with that choice until the video clips of the absolute beating Fez put on Nate started popping up on her social media.
Most people would have felt bad for the high school senior, he hadn’t stood a chance from the sight of it all, but secretly Lexi thought the whole thing was pretty satisfying. Nate may have their classmates charmed, but Lexi knew he was a snake in the grass.
And then, of course, there was the… well, the Fezco of it all.
It’s not like Lexi had any kind of an intimate relationship with him or anything. They knew each other, a little. Honestly, they had hung out just the one time, when Lexi decided she wanted to try weed and Rue dragged her over to the outdated home of her dealer to smoke up. But Fezco had been nothing but nice to her, even if he did laugh at the beard Rue drew on her with that Sharpie, and teased her by waking her up and telling her there was a fire. Briefly, Lexi had felt like maybe she was finally going to find common ground with Rue again, a friendship that had been slipping through her fingers like sand from the beach, and that she was going to form a new, unexpected one with the boy with the pretty blue eyes. There was no denying Fezco was cute but that was probably an understatement really. Gorgeous more fit the bill, and she had been crushing hard by the end of that night.
But as the girls were gathering their shit up to head back home, Rue had handed her dealer a wad of cash in exchange for a baggie of pills and it was a brutal reminder that she was never going to fit in with them. It had hurt, just a touch, but it didn't extinguish the touch she was carrying for him.
All that besides, Lexi knew the guy was decent. She may not partake in his wares, but she knows well enough that he’s an honest, upfront salesman when it comes to his business. Or at least, she’s heard Maddy complain enough that all the flirting in the world won’t score her a discount with him.
So whatever his reasons were, they had to have been good ones to go after Nate in such a public way. Fezco was thorough and concise, and if had wanted the kid dead, Lexi’s certain he wouldn’t have let anyone pull him of the mangled, bloody body until he’d done exactly that. No, the dealer was sending a message, that much was clear.
It’s just too bad he hadn’t finished the job, because if Nate was out of the picture, Cassie wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.
“Why did he beat the shit out of Nate anyway?” Lexi asks as she chews on her pen cap.
Rue’s watching a compilation of the event that someone anonymously posted on YouTube while they are supposed to be studying for a Physics exam. Lexi’s been trying to pretend to ignore it, but there’s really only so much a girl can do. She already finds him aggressively attractive and watching the way his blows land with precision with just so fucking hot.
“He had his reasons,” her friend replies stonily.
Lexi sighs, putting her book down. “No, I’m not like. On Nate’s side or anything. He’s a complete tool, Rue.”
The other girl huffs in stony agreement. Lexi continues, watching her friend’s face closely. “I’m just… curious. Why would Fezco come at Nate?”
The other girl sighs dramatically before she sits back up and leans against the end of Lexi’s bed.
“Remember last semester when Nate was catfishing Jules by pretending to be some dude named Tyler?”
They hadn’t ever really been able to prove that hypothesis, despite the crack detective work she and Rue had done, but Lexi nods her head in understanding. Even without proof, they both know it was Nate that was fucking with Jules for whatever twisted reason. Thankfully it had stopped, but it was still beyond fucked up.
“So when we couldn’t prove it, I may have asked Fez to like… Threaten Nate a little? Tell him to stop fucking with Jules, ya know, maybe flash that gun he keeps in his waistband to make a point. Well, Nate didn’t like that, obviously, and called in a tip to the Feds. Fez and Ash had to dump their stash as the cops pounded on their front door right before Christmas. It was, like, super bad.”
“How’d he know it was Nate?”
Rue gives her an incredulous look. “Who the fuck else would it have been Lex? Be fucking for real.”
“Yeah, okay, that was dumb of me,” Lexi agrees, twisting her pen in her fingers. “So what, Fezco just like… decided Nate deserved to get his?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” Rue agrees with a sigh. “Too bad he did it in such a public place though. If it had been in private, I’m pretty certain the whole of East Highland High School would be walking around in mourning garb right now. I fucking wish.”
Lexi hums her agreement, but doesn’t further the line of thought. Maybe, if they’re lucky, Rue will get her wish before the school years out.
“You’ll be stuck in this fucking arrangement forever, player,” Mouse says as he counts out the stack of bills Fezco had just handed over. “Ion know who the fuck you think you are trying to pull a fast one on me with that dirty fucking money, but you’ll be paying for it for a long time.”
The new parameters of his deal with Mouse and Custer was going to financially ruin them, but then again Fez was pretty sure he was fucked regardless. For a brief second he was certain the hardened supplier was about to take him out of the equation when Fez was late for their meeting and carrying a bag full of blood splattered bills he’d stolen from that crooked doctor, but the man had instead decided to show some mercy on him, claiming that Fez’s ability to tap into the best spending market in town - dumb as fuck rich kids - was worth keeping him alive for now. But now Mouse was charging the O’Neill brothers double for their usual supply and collecting weekly instead of monthly.
It was fucked.
“Custer showed me some video of you pummeling that Jacobs kid,” the older man says in that way of his that Fez hates. He knows it means Mouse is about to make an offer he won’t be able to refuse at some point. “Could make a lot of fucking stacks in the underground fighting rings in LA.”
He could, he already knows this. Fez might be a little undersized compared to most of the dudes that get involved in those things, but he’s fucking scrappy. It’s just that he’s not quite that desperate.
Yet.
“I’ll think ‘bout it,” he offers his supplier, with no intention of doing anything of the sort.
Mouse pockets his money and tells Fez that Custer will be by in a few days with some more shit they wanna unload on them before heading out the back entrance of the Dairy. Fezco lets out an aggravated sigh before hopping off the counter, intent on walking outside to the breezeway and smoking no less than two cigarettes when the bell to the front entrance rings.
He recognizes the man immediately, even if they ain’t ever met before. Cal Jacobs is a noted and beloved figure of the community of East Highland, even if Fezco ain’t ever been able to figure out why. The houses he builds all look exactly the fuckin’ same and to be frank his chili tastes like ass as far as Fez is concerned.
“Can I help you with sumn?” he asks, keeping his voice as bored as possible. Fez is about 96% sure the man is here to stir the pot about Fez beatin’ the tar outta his bitch-ass son, but he could also just be a regular customer looking for a drink or sumn even if he’s never crossed this threshold before.
The older man lifts his eyebrows before pursing his lips and shaking his head slightly. “Browsing.”
“Lemme know if you need help,” Fezco offers, fingers itching to pull his phone out and text Ash. He don’t know what good that’ll do him, ‘cause the kid stayed home today in order to binge some Netflix show he’d been waiting for.
Cal makes a loop around the small storefront. “You own this place?”
“S’family business,” he offers politely. He holds up his pack of cigarettes and lighter, waving them in the air. “You gon’ buy sumn or nah? Was gettin’ ready to go take a lil break.”
Cal pulls a package of BBQ Lays off the shelf and snatches a thing of Juicy Fruit off the counter. “Just this.”
Fez rings the man up in silence, eyes catching to the way the dude shoves his fists into the pockets of his jacket. Now, despite popular belief, Fezco ain’t fuckin’ stupid. He can clearly make out the shape of the gun Cal is carrying in his pocket.
“That’ll be $6.78,” he says lowly, holding his breath as he waits for Cal’s next move.
He always kinda thought he’d go out this way, but fuck if he ever considered it would be done by some punk kid’s pops.
Surprisingly Cal only pulls out a wrinkled ten dollar bill and places it on the counter wordlessly, but the implications are there. He knows who the fuck Fezco is, and what he did, and he has no intention of letting this shit go.
“Keep the change,” the man offers as he grabs his chips and slips the gum into his pocket. “Have a nice night.”
“Shit’s hella fucked,” Ash mutters as the brothers discuss the evenings events over a frozen pizza. “First we got Mouse all up our asses, and now you got fuckin’ playboy’s daddy tryna play big and bad witchu.”
Fez tosses a piece of crust back onto the pizza tray, leaning back in his chair with a huff. “Cal Jacobs ain’t who I’m worried about, bruh. It’s that lil bitch-ass boy of his that’s got me up at night. Don’t trust the motherfucker.”
If it had been anyone else, Fezco would be pretty confident that the smack down he laid upon the boy would have been enough of a lesson, but he’s coming to realize that Nate Jacobs is the winning combo of stupid and vindictive. Too fuckin’ dim to take a hint, and riding’ too high on his own self-importance to let a slight go unanswered. Not for the first time, Fezco is regretting not putting the teenager down like the rabid fuckin’ dog he is.
Course, he wouldn’t have done alla that in front of the whole fuckin’ high school in the middle of Virgil’s living room. Nah, if he’s gon’ kill someone it’s gonna be done on the low, easier to get away with that shit when there ain’t any evidence pointing the feds in his direction.
Ashtray bumps his fist in agreement before grabbing a third piece of pizza. “What Mouse have to say?”
“Same old same,” Fez replies, picking a burnt piece of pepperoni off his own pizza. “That he’s got our asses tied to him permanently and we’ll be paying off our debt forever. Nothing new there, bruh.”
Ash scoffs in anger. “He’s gon’ fuck us over, Fezco. Charging double for his shitty-ass product and making us sell more of that shit than we ever have? The books are aight right now…”
“I know what the books look like,” Fez replies. “We can afford to cover the remaining balance for now, but you right that he’s gonna drive us into the red. Gotta figure out how to cut our ties sooner than later.”
“Well… there was that one suggestion I had,” Ash responds, eyes lighting up at the thought.
It should prolly be a little alarming how ready his lil brother is to end the life of their supplier, but it also ain’t like the situation Mouse put them in gave ‘em a whole lotta options.
“You figure out how we can get away with murder, and I’ll pull the trigger,” Fezco says as he runs a hand across his scar, knowing that would quiet the subject for the moment but not the long term. “Custer been showin’ him videos from New Years Eve, shoulda seen the dollar signs in his fuckin’ eyes thinkin’ he’d make some bands off me goin’ all Fight Club for him. Looked like a cartoon character forreal.”
“Bet.”
“Told ‘im I ain’t interested.”
“Why I feel a but coming on?”
“But the money would be fuckin’ dope. Could get us paid up with him real quick.”
Ash gives him a critical look before cracking a childlike grin. “An’ fuck up yo’ pretty boy face? How else you be bringin’ girls home, I know it ain’t yo’ personality that draws them in.”
Fez just rolls his eyes. “Shut the fuck up man.”
It’s been a long-ass time since Fezco has seen Lexi Howard at his store, and honestly this is prolly the first time ever where she hasn’t been flanked by Rue or trailing behind her sister and her friends. It’s unexpected, and not unwelcomed. She was cute at fourteen, with her braces and knobby knees and wide eyed innocence. Now though? A straight stunner. Subtle curves hidden under her cardigan and long, pale legs on display under the cute lil plaid skirt she wears. He knows everyone goes fuckin’ crazy over her sister Cassie, but her whole thing don’t do it for ‘im the same way Lexi’s sexy libarian look does.
“Lexi Howard,” he drawls, sticking the tip of his tongue out to swipe across his lips. “Whatchu doin’ here for?”
Bright red lips flash an anxious smile as she rubs her hands down the sides of her skirt. “Um. Is there somewhere we can like… talk? In private?”
Now in all the time they’ve been in each other's orbits, Fez has never sold any illicit drugs to the girl. There was that one time he got her high free of charge with Rue, but as far as he knows her experimentation with drugs began and ended with that single solitary smoke up.
“Like.. private private? Or do we need Ashtray?”
Lexi fidgets with the hem of her skirt, her knee bouncing as she decides. “ Private private. For now.”
Nodding, Fez opens the cooler door and hollers to his brother that they need to swap places. The teenager takes his time gettin’ his ass out the back, snickering when he sees who is standing beside Fezco. If his lil crush on Lexi Howard is obvious to anyone, it’s Ashtray.
“Just gotta talk some business,” he explains as Lexi tucks her arms around herself. “Letchu know if we need you.”
Wordlessly he leads the girl through the cooler door that leads to the small office space and larger back storage. Lexi takes the offered desk chair immediately and he can’t help but notice that the color has drained outta her face.
“You feelin’ alright there, shorty?” Fez asks as he perches on the arm of the couch.
The next thing Lexi says about knocks him on his ass.
“About as good as anyone soliciting murder can feel.”
“‘Scuse you?” he sputters, unsure if he heard what he thought he did. “You here doin’ what?”
Abruptly Lexi jumps to her feet, ready to make an escape. It’s instinctual for Fezco to reach out and wrap his hand around her wrist. “This was fucking stupid. I can’t believe I let Rue convince me you’d do something like this.”
“Rue said I’d be down for murder for hire?”
Lexi gives him a withering look. “In not so many words. More like implied. Heavily. Look — we happen to have a common denominator of people we want dead.”
There’s exactly two people whos deaths would make his life easier, and she for sure doesn’t know who the fuck Mouse is.
“What Jacobs do to you?”
Lexi looks pointedly at the hand still wrapped around her wrist, his thumb absentmindedly running along her pulse point in a soothing manner. He lets go immediately. “Not me. He’s uh. He’s been sleeping with my sister. For a while I think? And um. Well, she’s been through a lot recently and he’s not helping matters. Like, Cassie’s always been emotional, and impulsive and, well— never mind, let’s just say that this is on a different level.” She pauses, frowning. “And not for nothing, but he’s a total creep who puts his hands on women. I’m sure you know what he did to Maddy Perez last year.”
Fez lets out a long sigh. “Yeah girl, I know all about that shit. Rue told me. Now tell me more about what’s going on with yo’ sis.”
“What else do you need to know?”
“I ain’t about to just murk someone for the fuckin’ hell of it Lexi. Least lemme know why you’ve come to this conclusion, cause going from thinking yo sister’s boyfriend is a dick to wanting him dead is a hella big leap.”
“Nate Jacobs is the actual devil incarnate.”
Lexi resettles herself on the sofa, staring at him like she gonna be able to drag out what she needs to know jus’ by looking at him “I know you know this,” she pushes, and he can feel her watching his face carefully. “I know he called in that tip that got you raided, and that’s why you practically killed him a few weeks ago.”
“You was there?” he asks, earnestly. He doesn’t remember seeing Lexi around that night, and he always makes note of when he sees her at a party.
“No,” Lexi scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “But I saw the videos. And you’re about the only person in East Highland who’s not afraid of him.”
Of course he ain’t afraid of Nate Jacobs, he deals with real gangsters on the regular. “If I wanted him dead, I wouldn’t have been pullin’ my punches, Lexi.”
The girl lets out a deep, low sound of frustration and he can’t help but wonder briefly if he’d be able to get the same noise outta her with his dick buried deep inside. “Alright. Lets forget the whole thing and pretend I never came here to ask about how I could get you to commit a murder for me.”
“Nah, girl,” Fezco replies quickly, darting off the couch arm as she brushes past. “I ain’t said no yet. Just wanna know why I’d be doin’ this favor for you.”
“It’s not a favor,” Lexi insists, pulling her wallet out of her lil purse. “I’ll pay. In cash.”
There’s gotta be a couple of grand sitting there as she pulls out the bills.
“I don’t have a lot, just my Bat Mitzvah money and pretty much everything from the last few years' birthday cards. And like, most of my babysitting money. But it’s a start until I can figure out how to pay for the rest.”
Fez puts a hand over hers and pushes the money back towards her. It might be dumb as fuck what he’s ‘bout to say, but the way he sees it he’s getting rid of a big problem and also being able to shoot his shot with the girl in front of him. Yeah, he could use the money, but there ain’t no way Lexi Howard is gonna make enough to pay for what she’s requesting by fuckin’ babysitting. Besides, he’d probably be doing the universe a favor in getting rid of the clown. He wouldn’t go so far as to say that karma would take care of the rest, but…
“You want me to get ridda playboy for you? Fuck, girl,” Fez says, unable to keep the grin off his face. “Ion want yo’ money, I’d do that shit for free.”
“I can’t let you do that for free,” Lexi responds despite the way she tucks the money back into her purse. “This could end poorly. You could get caught.”
“I won’t, trust me,” he replies smoothly, despite the fact that he can’t guarantee that shit. Fuck, he ain’t even sure how he’d do it in the first place. “But if yo’ ass so worried ‘bout me, I’m sure I can think of sumn to make it worth my while.”
He’s been checking her out since she walked into his store but he’s less subtle about it now. Lexi’s cheeks flame a bright pink and she takes an awkward step back, clearly flustered.
“I’m not going to fuck you so you’ll kill my sisters secret lover for me,” Lexi hisses under the breath, looking completely scandalized.
Letting out a laugh, Fezco flops himself down on the couch. She called him on that one, but he’s got another ace up his sleeve. “Getchu mind out the gutter, Howard. If you gonna end up in my bed, I want you wet and willin’, you feel me? Was just talkin’ ‘bout takin’ you out on a couple of dates, that’s all.”
“…Dates?”
“Three of them. Like ionno. Genie wishes or some shit.”
Lexi bites her lip, and fuck he wants to get to do that himself eventually. She’s clearly contemplating his request, so he takes the chance to get his fill in just lookin at her. Jesus, Lexi Howard don’t even know how fuckin’ gorgeous she is. And he ain’t lyin’, if she finds herself in his bed he only wants her there ‘cause she wants to be there.
“That’s it? Three dates? That’s all you want?”
“Ain’t all I want,” Fez says gruffly, giving her an obvious once over again. Lexi is cute as hell when she’s flustered. “We’ll have to figure out how Imma do the deed of course, but yeah Lexi. I’ll kill playboy for you after you give me three dates.”
The brunette thrusts a hand out in his direction suddenly, Fez laughing as he wraps his much larger hand around hers and gives it a firm shake. “Alright then, it’s a deal. Simple enough, sorry that I accused you of wanting to trade murder for sex. That was rude.”
Tugging her hand to bring her closer, Fezco looks deep into her dark brown eyes. “Like I already said, if you end up in my bed it’s gonna be ‘cause you want it, girl. An’ who knows? By the time we done here, you actually might be findin’ yo’self wanting to be there.”
The thing about soliciting someone for murder is that when it comes to the actual planning part of said murder, you can’t exactly do that over the phone. Well, you could, theoretically; but it seems dangerous and reckless and Fezco had been pretty adamant that they would be meeting in person for this.
He’d asked so casually over the phone if she remembered her way to his place or if she needed to be picked up, that Lexi had stumbled over the answer like a complete idiot. Of course they would be meeting up somewhere private, talking about the easiest way to kill Nate Jacobs in some back booth of the local diner was probably just as bad as trying to do it over the phone. It’s just that she hadn’t really considered their options of location in which they could talk about what they were going to do. Obviously her house was out, but she guesses she’d thought they would be making use of that back room at East Highland Certified Dairy.
“You want me to come to your house?” she echoes back, uncertain. “Like. The same place I went with Rue that one time?”
Fezco huffs a little laugh over the line. “Yeah shorty. My crib is secure, Ash runs a tight fuckin’ ship around here. It’ll be best if we do this shit somewhere we know we ain’t gon’ be overheard.”
Lexi feels herself blushing at the double entendre of it all, though she’s certain the man doesn’t mean anything by it at this moment. It’s just that he’d told her last week that he wanted her wet and willing and now that’s basically all she can think about. Of course there's the murder they are planning taking up room in her brain, but any and all leftover brainpower is being consumed by thoughts of what exactly it would feel like to let Fezco O’Neill fuck her six ways to Sunday.
“Good point,” she murmurs into the receiver. “I’m not trying to make this difficult, but like. I have school. And theater? Auditions for the musical are coming up and I need to prepare for that. It’s just. The timing sucks.”
Which is wild to say considering she’s the one that propositioned him into doing this.
“I hear you,” Fez replies quietly, his voice suddenly sounding so far away. “Guess it all depends on how quick you wanna make this happen?”
Lexi thinks about how Cassie’s alarm is going off at four in the fucking morning these days and how obsessive her beauty routine has become. The other day she had shown up to school practically dressed as a clone of Maddy. Things were getting real fucking weird.
“The sooner the better,” she relents. “How does Thursday afternoon look for you? I’m sure you gotta lot going on yourself. You know, with the store and everything else?”
“I’ll make it work,” Fez responds quietly. “Listen Lex, it’s been real nice chatting witchu, but I gotta go.”
“Is everything okay?”
There's a lot of noise in the background and she can hear Ashtray even if she can’t make out what the kid is saying. “Ain’t nothin’ for you to worry yo’ pretty lil head over, ma. We’ll talk soon.”
She doesn’t even have a chance to say goodbye before he ends the call. Lexi knows he’s probably right, that she shouldn’t be worrying about him, because he’s been doing this shit for years now. It’s not like they’ve had a ton of interactions over the years, but Fezco has always been in her peripherals, and she’s never seen him as anything but cool, calm and collected in all situations. Which was probably the reason she even went to him with this insane idea to rid the world of Nate Jacobs, because even if he’d laughed her off and told her he wasn’t interested, she knew he would be cool about it.
Lexi finds herself on the O’Neill’s doorstep on Thursday evening, later than she’d wanted to show up, but there was a dance call for Oklahoma! after school and if she wanted to get one of the leads, she needed to brush up on her skills. There’s still a thin layer of sweat clinging to her skin as she knocks on the front door, the dealer promising he’d be home no later than five o’clock that afternoon – it was already pushing seven.
“Lexi Howard,” Fez greets her, much like how he did when she showed up at his store. “C’mon in. Ash and I were just gettin’ ready to have dinner.”
Lexi slips in under his raised arm, noting the way he takes a good look around the neighborhood before shutting the door and securing a series of locks. Quickly she slips out of her sneakers, leaving them beside the row of shoes at the front door and taking an assessment of the house. Not much has changed in the two and a half years since she was last in this place, it’s still very much a shrine to the woman who raised the young dealers. Lexi’s not sure what happened to his grandma, but she knew from Rue that she was still there— bed bound in a room down the hall.
“I didn’t mean to impose,” she says once Fez turns back to her. “If I’d known I was interrupting dinner I would have picked a different day to drop by.”
Fezco just snorts an amused sound and cracks a smile in her direction before leading her to the dining room. “Don’chu worry ‘bout it Lexi. Hope you like chicken fajitas, ‘cause that’s what's on the menu tonight.”
“You made chicken fajitas?” she asks with a tone of surprise. It had never occurred to her that Fezco could actually like, properly cook.
He gestures to the younger teenage boy sitting at the table. “Someone gotta keep this motherfucker fed, you feel me? Besides, it’s just chopping up some vegetables and chicken and throwing that shit on a sheet pan.”
Sure enough there’s a giant sheet pan of peppers, onions and sliced chicken sitting on the table beside a bag of tortillas and a variety of toppings. Ashtray’s already busied himself with making his dinner plate, but Fez smacks him upside the back of the head and makes him properly introduce himself.
“I cook for my family too,” Lexi offers as Fezco hands her a paper plate. “I told my mom my dance call was running late and I wouldn’t be home for dinner tonight, so I’m certain there will be some sort of take out in the fridge when I get home.”
After helping themselves to the food, Fez and Ash sit their plates on the table and reach across the table to hold hands, presumably to pray. Fez offers one to Lexi, and she stares at it for maybe a beat too long before he asks if she don’t pray before meals.
“Uh… actually. Um, I’m Jewish. Technically. So not normally, no?”
“Technically?” Fez replies with a raised eyebrow.
Lexi shrugs. “I don’t exactly subscribe to the whole… God Thing. But you do you.”
Across from her Ashtray lets out a low whistle. “No wonder you feel no qualms ‘bout havin’ playboy murked.”
The kid yelps as Fez kicks him from under the table, Lexi hiding her smile behind her hand as Ash starts a mumbled prayer. Both brothers cross themselves in tandem before digging into their meal, Lexi picking up her own fajita. Jesus, she really was famished after that dance class.
“So,” Fezco begins after eating nearly his whole meal. “Have you put any thought into how we’d do this shit?”
Lexi pauses, putting her tortilla back on her plate and grabbing the glass of water that was at her spot. “Not really? I kinda thought that’s where you two would come in?”
“Murder can be real messy, Lex,” Fez says slowly, looking over at his little brother. “We ain’t like, professional hit men or nothing. But we know some shit.”
“Have you ever… before?”
Ash grunts from his spot. “You’nt wanna real answer to that one, Howard.”
“Plausible deniability," Fezco cuts in. “It’s better if you know less.”
“How can it be better if I’m here asking you to kill someone for me?”
The teenage dealer’s hand finds her knee under the table and gives it a squeeze. Fezco doesn’t bother removing it, just lets it linger there as the heat of his palm seeps into her skin through her leggings.
“Just trust me, aight pretty girl?” he says after a moment, and all Lexi can do is nod, her face flushed from the moniker.
“Now, if we gon’ do this shit right, we needa figure out when we can get access to Jacobs alone,” Fezco says, pulling his hand away from her knee finally and Lexi can’t help but pout over it. “Easier to make it look self-inflicted if no one knows his whereabouts.”
“You wanna stage a suicide?” Lexi questions. “You don’t think that’s a little like… suspicious?”
Fez and Ash share a long look that Lexi can’t decipher. It’s like they are having a silent conversation, something that she once thought she had with her sister but feels further and further from her grasp these days.
“Lets just say, we gotta ‘nough dirt on Nate Jacobs that any police officers looking into his suicide would find plenty of reason to believe he killed himself,” Fez finally responds after Ash gives him a subtle nod.
Lexi frowns. “If it’s about all the dick pics Maddy saw on his phone last year, I already know about that. I’m like, ninety percent certain he’s in the closet, which is also why I don’t understand why he’s fucking around with my sister these days.”
If Fez and Ash are surprised about any of that information, they don’t show it on their faces. They eat the rest of dinner in near silence, Ashtray finishing up and excusing himself to his room as Fezco moves his chair to be facing Lexi a little more. He surprises her by grabbing the leg of her own chair and doing the same thing. Her cheeks flush at the action.
“You know if we get caught, we’re all goin’ down for this shit right?” he asks seriously, eyes trained to her face as she gulps.
“Yep,” Lexi responds, swallowing past the nerves. “That’s why we’re not gonna get caught.”
Bright blue eyes light up in amusement as a grin appears across full lips. She's starting to wonder what they taste like. “That’s my girl,” he replies in that easy way of his. “Now ‘bout this first date…”
Cassie is going to crack under the pressure. It’s all Lexi can think as she watches her sister frantically set up for Maddy’s 18th birthday party. Cassie is going to have a full on mental breakdown, and her secret is going to come out, and her and Fezco are going to have to push up the timeline of this whole murder thing.
Lexi: S he’s fucking losing it.
Fez: cant b that bad lex
Lexi: No, it really is.
Everyone is getting here though so I need to go.
Fez: text me later
wanna hear the deets
Lexi: I’ll call you.
That’s something they do now, talk on the phone. Texts are always flying back and forth between the two of them, but they’ve recently added nightly phone calls to the mix. It’s silly, because they can’t talk about the thing that made them become friends, so they’ve started talking about basically everything else.
“Lexi?” her mom calls from the kitchen. Lexi slips her phone into her pocket and heads that direction.
Suze is holding a White Claw as she peers into the living room where Cassie adjusts the streamers again. “Is she doing alright?”
Lexi just gives her mom a Are You Serious Look. “Really?”
“C’mon kiddo, I know she’s been a little… on edge since the abortion. But something feels really off about her today.”
Lexi wishes she could tell Suze what was going on, really she does, but she’s got a handle of the situation. Soon enough Nate Jacobs and his weird mind control will be a thing of the past.
“She just wants everything to be perfect,” Lexi replies, attempting to pacify her mothers curiosity. “Maddy’s her best friend.”
For the most part, the night goes off without a hitch. It’s just the girls minus Rue and Jules, who have both been weird and distant recently the more time they spend with that Elliot guy. They sing karaoke and drink White Claws and dance in the living room to Y2K Pop. It’s actually way more fun than Lexi expected, Cassie seeming to devote all her attention to Maddy, even if she’s going harder on the alcohol than normal. Maddy blows out the candles on her cake and opens gifts, delighting over the scrapbook Cassie put together. Lexi has to bite her tongue when it gets pulled out, smiling and ooh-ing and ahh-ing along at just the right times as the pit in her stomach grows. It’s so fuckin obvious, you can see how much her sister loves Maddy, and it’s really fuckin’ hard to understand why Cassie would do something that would hurt her friend so deeply.
They take group photos on the stairs and Lexi does her best to hide away behind her friends. She’s not embarrassed or anything about her dress with the frilly, elongated collar or the simple way she’s done her hair and makeup, it’s just that the rest of the girls are here dressed to the nines and Lexi knows she can’t compare.
Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she suppresses a grin, knowing its Fezco. No one else has been hitting her line up with any regularity these days.
Lexi sneaks out to the den, intent on filling in her… friend with the details of the party when the doorbell rings and Maddy opens it to reveal none other than Nate fucking Jacobs. Lexi sinks back behind the door frame, peaking around the edge to watch whatever shit is about to happen, because Cassie looks moments away from melting down as she stands frozen on her spot while the exes talk at the front door.
Lexi: shit shit shit hes fucking here
Fez: ???
playboy at yo house
Lexi: fuckk
He just showed up and
omg
Cassie looks like she’s ready to spill the whole sordid affair
What do i do?
Fez: u wanna get outta there
Lexi: fuck yeah kinda
Fez: gimme ten pretty girl
Lexi: Omgggg no fezco
I can’t leave
This is gonna be messy
Fez: aint yo mess 2 deal w shorty
not tonight neway
Lexi: Right.
Okay. I need fifteen.
She finishes changing her outfit to something more comfortable as Cassie drunk stumbles into the bedroom, her sister's eyes transfixed on Lexi’s attire as she comes to a stop.
“You can’t leave yet, the parties just get-getting started Lex,” her sister slurs as she rummages through a pile of swim suits. “We’re getting in the hot tub.”
Lexi stands her ground, crossing her arms over her chest. “There’s no way I’d get into a hot tub with Nate. Ew.”
Cassie just laughs, a little cruel. “Suit yourself, loser.”
Lexi’s phone buzzes in her hand and she knows it’s Fez letting her know he’s down the street. He doesn’t feel comfortable coming right up to her house, which is fair enough because everyone knows what car he drives and she’s not trying to answer prying questions right now. They are just friends and future accomplices in murder.
That’s all.
Even if that word is starting to feel like an incorrect description.
“So his pops has all these work sites right?” Fezco says as he leans over the coffee table beside Lexi. “Might be the easiest place to do it, you feel me? Sumn poetic and tragic ‘bout takin’ his own life on his dads development, easier to twist the narrative too.”
Lexi hums her agreement. “Jaded son kills himself on the legacy his father built for him because he fears he’ll never live up to expectations. I couldn’t write it better myself.”
“You write?” he asks, settling back into the couch with his blunt. “Like stories an’ shit?”
The girl beside him scoots back to lean against the old couch, her legs pulled tight to her chest as she rests her cheek on knees. “Sorta. I’m like, not very good yet. But I have lots of ideas running through my head and I need to get them out, you know?”
“Bet yo’ shit is amazing,” Fezco replies, enjoying the way Lexi’s cheek grow pink. “You like the smartest, coolest fuckin’ person I’ve ever met. No doubt yo’ writing isn’t straight fire, ma.”
“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that,” Lexi says quietly, twisting a ring around her finger. “You’re like, the only person who thinks that I’m cool or interesting these days. Can’t even get my best friend to hang out with me.”
Immediately Fezco feels his heart break for the girl beside him just a little. He knows Rue’s fuckin’ gone on some shit, not that he knows where she got it or even what it is, and that the worse she gets into whatever her current drug of choice is the worse of a friend she is to everyone. Including him.
“Fuck her then,” he offers genuinely. “If Rue can’t see yo’ the best person she’s ever gonna have in her corner, you don’t need her.”
“Thanks,” Lexi whispers, wiping a tear away from her eye. “That means a lot to me.”
He’d say he doesn’t know why he does it, but that would be a whole goddamn lie. Gently Fezco brushes the hair out of Lexi’s face, his hand softly cupping her chin and tugging her towards him, intent on kissing her for the first time when the walkie talkie on the coffee table blares to life.
“Code Red. Code Fucking Red. Get yo’ ass in gear motherfucker,” Ash says across the thing, snapping them both out of the trance they are in.
Shit. Fuckin’ shit.
“What does that mean?” Lexi asks, startled as Fez flings himself off the couch. He grabs her hand and drags up off the sofa, almost pulling her arm out of the socket as he rushes them back to his bedroom.
This was literally the last fuckin’ thing Fezco needed to deal with today. Mouse makin’ an unexpected house call was not a common occurrence, so of fuckin’ course it had to happen right when he’s got Lexi Howard here.
The girl looks genuinely terrified as he shoves her into the room, closing the door behind him as he scrambles over to his bed and pulls the hand gun he keeps there out from between the wall and the mattress. “Fezco, what the fuck?”
“Lex, listen,” he says, trying to stay calm as he checks the gun over. “Code Red means my fuckin’ guy is here, like right the fuck now. I gotta go.”
“Your guy?”
He sincerely does not have time for this. “Mouse. My supplier. Usually I have a heads up, but the guys a fuckin’ dick an’ just does this shit sometimes. Just drops by without warnin’. Ash is keepin’ him busy right now but if I don’t get out there he’s gonna come back here and…”
The rest of it goes unsaid. It’s bad enough that Mouse is aware of Rue, the last thing Fezco needs is for the guy to know about Lexi.
He presses the cold steel into the girls shaking hands. “Imma be aight pretty girl. Just stay back here, don’t make any noise, and I’ll come and getchu when he’s gone, aight?”
Lexi gulps and nods, eyes full of tears. He wishes he could do sumn about it.
“Baby, you gotta be quiet for me, please,” he repeats, almost begging. “Be right back.”
Without thinking much of it, he grabs the back of Lexi’s head and presses a quick kiss against her forehead. It’s sumn he does to Ashtray all the time, or at least he used to when the kid still let him.
The visit with Mouse is insufferable, maybe more than normal because he’s got a terrified seventeen year old girl hiding back in his bedroom. But also maybe because the guy’s gotten cockier since Fezco’s December fuck up, pushing more and more product on the brothers, expecting more money in return. Ideally they’d get out from under the man's thumb, but it’s easier said than done. That and Fezco knows Mouse is just a middle man, working for a drug lord and cutting a profit off of what he gets in return from Fez and Ash - he’d rather work for a middle man than deal with some asshole drug lord directly.
After nearly an hour of back and forth, the heavily tattooed man finally fuckin’ leaves, his pockets lined with extra stacks that Fezco absolutely did not have to pay him, but was willing to do in order to get him the fuck up out of his house. If he had been extra tense over this shit, he doubts Mouse picked up his terse speech and short answers. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, Fezco being off put by the guy these days. It’s not even like he was that annoyed about Mouse dropping in unexpectedly, it’s more that Lexi Howard is back in his bedroom and all he can think about is the fact that he hasn’t even properly kissed her yet.
“Shit, man,” Ash sighs, doubling over the couch once Mouse and Custer clear out. “Thought we was gonna have a Rue Part Two situation on our hands when I saw ‘im pull up.”
Fez tucks the gun back into the couch and leans his head against the cushion for a brief second. “Ain’t gon’ lie, I did too.”
Usually the brothers have a debrief after Mouse and Custer show up, but Fezco is itching to get back to his bedroom and get to Lexi. Ash can see it in his eyes.
“Go get yo’ girl, damn.”
Usually he’d snark something at the punk ass kid about Lexi not being his girl but it’s all he needs to hear before he’s up and off the couch, practically running down the hallway to his bedroom. The door is still closed tight, and remembering that he handed the girl a loaded pistol before he left her there, he knocks twice before calling her name.
“Lexi, it’s me. I’m coming in,” he says into the wood as he turns the knob.
He’s not even pushed the door all the way open before Lexi launches herself at him, all arms and legs as she wraps herself around his sturdy frame and buries her head into his neck. Kicking the door closed behind him, Fezco tugs the girl closer, if that’s possible, finally breathing for the first time in a damn hour despite how tightly Lexi squeezes him. It’s relief having this girl in his arms right now, nothing went terribly fucking wrong today.
“Hey, look, I’m aight, see? I’m so fuckin’ sorry Lex,” he whispers into the girl's ear as he does his best to reassure her. “No big deal, promise. This some normal shit for me. Used to it.”
Lexi pulls away, but doesn’t completely untangle herself. “Well it’s not normal for me. I didn’t know I could be so scared for someone else. I thought… I thought you… I don’t know what I thought. I was just out of my mind with worry.”
“Ain’t nothin’ to be scared of baby,” Fezco replies, brushing long strands of brown hair out of her face.
There’s tear tracks on her cheeks and he hates that he’s the reason she was just crying. Fezco brushes them away with his thumbs, smiling softly at the girl in his arms as she sniffles a little more. God, she’s perfect. Tears and all. He really meant it when he said she was the coolest fuckin’ person he’d ever met.
“Can we plan that first date now?” Lexi asks, voice still a little watery even as she laughs. “It’s dumb but all I could think about was how we haven’t done that yet even though it’s part of our agreement.”
Fezco nods, brushing his nose against hers. “All I could think about was how I ain’t fuckin’ kissed you yet.”
He doesn’t give her a chance to respond, just slips his hands into the hair at the back of her skull and drags her mouth to his as he seals his lips over hers. Lexi hums into it immediately, surging forward to press her lips against his harder. There’s so much he wants to do to her, wants to do with her, but he meant it when he said he wanted her wet and willing. There's too much adrenaline surging between them in the fallout of Mouse’s surprise visit, and anything they would do right now could possibly be a mistake.
So he settles for kissing her. Prying her mouth open with his tongue, licking so sweetly into it to get a taste of her. It might be his new favorite drug.
“Mouse needs to fuckin’ go,” he says over breakfast a few days after the whole disaster that was the supplier showing up as Lexi was there. “I know I pumped the brakes on that shit earlier this year, but ionno— fuck it. If we gonna plan one murder, we might as well plan another, bruh.”
Ash looks up from his bowl of Cheerios, seemingly unsurprised by Fezco’s declaration. He’s wanted to off Mouse for at least a year now. “How you thinkin’ we go ‘bout this? Cause we barely know how we’re offing Jacobs, and now you wanna add another one?”
Fez shrugs aimlessly, because he don’t got a fuckin’ clue other than the fact that he can’t risk the man walkin’ into his crib with Lexi there again. They ain’t even anything more than literal partners in crime, even if they spent the better part of the evening after Mouse showed his ugly-ass mug making out in his bedroom.
“We’ll figure it out,” he replies with a sigh. “If we gettin’ rid of Mouse, we gonna have to figure out a new supplier, and having that decided before we take action seems smart.”
Ash snorts in agreement. “Ion trust fuckin’ Custer to set us up with no one. Less you thinkin’ he needs to go too?”
Custer is a lot of things, but ‘criminal mastermind’ is not one of them. The dude is nice enough, and Fez thinks they’d prolly be cool if he wasn’t Mouse’ right hand man and was just like a customer or homie or sumn. But he breaks the number one rule of dealing, and that’s dipping into his own supply. Mouse might not give a fuck if his partner has track marks on his arms but Fez is wary of getting into anything with a dude who is that deep into opioids.
“Nah man, unless he starts acting sus, think Custer is fine to leave be, you feel me? We don’t need his contacts, just gotta work mine.”
His little brother grunts in agreement around a mouthful of Cheerios, seemingly done with the conversation as he resumes shoveling the cereal into his mouth. Rolling his eyes, Fezco pulls his phone out of his pocket, opening his text thread with Lexi on habit. She’d sent him a message at some insane time in the morning, letting him know she’d started working on an idea for a play that she’d been rolling around in her head for the last year.
Fez: yo lemme read that shit baby
Lexi: It’s not ready!
Not even close to ready.
I only have like three scenes written out.
Fez: ion care lemme see it lex
He knows she’s already at school, so he’s not expecting a reply right now. She’ll hit him back soon enough, either between classes or in one that’s boring as fuck. It’s the surprise of his life when his email banner pops up with a new message from Lexi, a link to some fuckin’ Google doc with a simple :) as the subject. He’s gotta get himself going to the dairy for the day, but he’ll make the most of his downtime at the store reading it.
Fez: u a real one girl
gonna kill my time waiting 4 u w this
Lexi: Let me know if it’s boring.
Or like. Bad.
Shoving his phone back in his pocket, Fez gathers his breakfast dishes and gives them a good rinse before leaving them to wash later. Ash is off this morning, having his own school to do, so finishes getting himself ready in silence. He grabs his keys from their spot beside the door, yelling at Ashtray to lock back up as he leaves.
By the time Lexi’s done with school for the day, Fezco has been preparing his review of the couple of scenes worth of a play she sent him earlier. He read it no less than three times, completely taken by her ability to build worlds with words and makes sure she knows just how fuckin’ impressive he thinks the whole thing is.
If it happens to lead to her dropping by the Dairy on her way home just to kiss him senseless, he ain’t mad about it.
“No one’s ever taken me on a picnic before,” Lexi comments as she trails behind him through one of the local parks. “You’re going to set a gold standard for dates for me if you aren’t careful, O'Neill.”
Honestly he kinda figured this would be right up her alley. Lexi Howard just screams ‘Girl Who Loves A Picnic,’ ya know? Fezco looks over his shoulder and shoots her a grin, hefting the picnic basket from one hand to another so he can find her free hand with his own. Lexi smiles up brightly at him, adjusting her grip on the picnic blanket but not losing her grip on him at all.
On god, does he want to kiss that smile off her face, but he’s sorta a man on a mission here alright?
At this point you’d think they’d be willing to admit that they are in some sorta fucked up dating situation that’s gotten tangled up in the actual crime they are planning on committing within the next several weeks, but despite how easily she kisses him these days, Lexi’s still playing it coy on the relationship front.
“Maybe that’s my ultimate plan, Howard,” he responds, leading her down a short hill that flattens out into a secluded duck pond. “Date you so good that you’nt wanna date anyone else ever.”
Her cheeks beat red but Lexi rolls her eyes at him like he’s just sayin’ some cheesy-ass line, not actually being way more fuckin’ honest than he even cares to admit to himself.
“I don’t think I’d wish that on anyone,” Lexi replies, laying the old blanket out on the ground once Fez indicates they made it to the spot. “I’m way too neurotic and anxious to like, be someone that someone else would want to actually date long term.”
Fezco has busied himself with unpacking their lunch - simple sandwiches, grapes and chips - but he immediately stops what he’s doing to give the younger Howard sister a long look. Lexi squirms under the attention, fidgeting with the nameplate necklace she wears as she avoids eye contact.
“What?”
“Why you always doin’ that shit?” he questions sincerely, softly. “You always puttin’ yo’self down Lexi, like bein’ real fuckin’ mean to yo’self. Doubting’ yo’self an’ shit. Ion know, I guess I just don’t understand it.”
Lexi plucks a grape from the bunch and pops it into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully as she contemplates what he just said.
“I… I don’t know. I guess I didn’t realize I did that? Or well, didn’t realize I was doing it consciously. Because I’ve been doing it subconsciously for years…”
“Whatchu mean?”
Lexi fiddles with the grapes some more. Annoyed, Fezco snatches her hand and forces her to look up at him. “C’mon now, pretty girl. Talk to me. I wanna know why you so hard on yourself.”
Her brown eyes look so sad and fuck this is not the first date he was hoping to have. Putting her fingers to his lips, Fez brushes a kiss against them in hopes that she understands he’s just here to listen. That he'll always just want to listen to her.
“It’s just that. Cassie’s always been the perfect one, you know? Even when she fucks up, she’s never done anything wrong in the eyes of like… everyone. Including my parents when we were kids. You could say it gave me a complex, but it’s also like. A lot of stress? It’s really hard to keep up with someone who is seen as perfect, especially when their flaws feel so obvious.”
He knows she has more to say, so he just presses a second kiss to her hand in encouragement.
“I get anxious over just about everything. It's like… I’m under this bigger microscope than my sister is, because people expect her to fuck up right? But they still love her even when she does. But for me? I have even more pressure to do everything right, because there’s higher expectations on me to be like… actually perfect. I second guess everything because it doesn’t seem to matter what I do or don’t do, my choices are always being picked apart. So like, when you say I’m mean to myself, it’s probably because my brain is on a constant loop about not messing up, not wanting to be compared to my sister. I don’t know, it doesn’t make sense but like, it does make sense too?”
Fez nods his understanding, even if he doesn’t totally get it. No one expects nothin’ from him, and he doesn’t think anyone has in years.
Lexi shakes her head, disagreeing vehemently when he says as much. “That’s not true. You have like, so many more demands to fulfill for the people around you than I do. You take care of Ash, and your grandma and like… two fully operational businesses?”
“But that shit is different Lexi. That’s like, what I gotta do to survive, you know? Not like there’s an honor roll I’d be missing out on for ‘moved the most product’ or ‘balanced the books’ sumn. S’just life.”
The brunette lays back down on the blanket, patting the spot next to her. Joining her, Fez looks up at the tree they’ve lounged under - specks of blue sky appearing between the new growth of the leaves - and grabs Lexi’s hand in his own, twining their fingers together without much thought.
“It doesn’t make it any less of a high standard Fezco,” Lexi demures a few minutes later. “You have a lot on your plate. More than most nineteen year olds do. It can’t have been easy to live in survival mode all these years.”
His laugh is short and brittle, because what a fuckin’ understatement. “Nah baby, it sure ain’t been no walk in the park, you know what I’m sayin’? But like. It’s the fuckin’ cards I’ve been dealt, I can’t just ignore ‘em.”
“What if you had different cards?”
Turning his head to look at the girl beside him, Fezco sees that Lexi is already regarding him with such a serious look. Like he’s a knitting project she messed up and she’s trying to unravel him now in order to put him back together.
“Like. If I didn’t have to sell drugs to take care of me an’ my lil brother?”
Lexi nods. “Yeah, sure. What if you didn’t have to sell drugs anymore?”
“Am I still committin’ murders for pretty girls?” he flirts, trying his best to avoid the question. Also maybe just because he likes the way Lexi gets flustered when he calls her pretty.
“Fezco. Be serious,” Lexi huffs, pouting.
She giggles when he rolls over and plants himself above her, his elbows digging into the soft ground as he holds his weight up above her. Lexi parts her thighs, making room for him to settle between them and Jesus Christ; he can't really believe she’s letting him take up so much of her space right now. Fez picks up a loose curl that halos Lexi’s head, twirling it between his fingers before running his hand down the side of her face in order to cup her cheek and press a long, lingering kiss against her mouth.
“You can’t avoid the question by kissing me,” Lexi mumbles against his mouth, despite not doing anything to really stop him.
Fez sighs, dropping his forehead against Lexi’s before pressing another short kiss to her lips. “You said to be serious, baby.’
He loves the way her eyes sparkle when he calls her that.
“Yeah,” Lexi whispers, hands coming up to his shoulders. “About what you’d be doing if you didn’t have to sell drugs for a living, not about me.”
“Ye of little faith Lex. I’d be hella fuckin’ serious about you if I wasn’t slinging fucking dope all over this goddamn town. Might fuck around an’ make you my actual girl. Getchu in my bed, show you just how serious I can be,” he teases despite meaning every single word of it.
“Fezco.”
He laughs as he rolls off of her, laying back on the blanket and pillowing his head in his hands. Lexi scoots a lil closer, resting her cheek on his chest as her fingers find the cool metal of his chain and begin to play with it. It’s nice, laying here like this, getting to pretend they a real couple and not just two messed up kids plotting the murder of a classmate. Even if the murder is for the greater good, Fezco knows what they are doing is not Hallmark Movie shit.
“Shit, girl,” he replies eventually, after thinking about it for several minutes as they lay together. “I be thinkin’ ‘bout getting myself a lil farm. Like, doin’ it up Little House on the Prairie style, you feel me?”
“Like the books? With the girl in the wagon?”
Fez snorts. “Ain’t ever read no books, but I’ve watched the shit outta the old tv show. An’ I mean, we past the covered wagon Oregon Trail bullshit. But yeah. Get myself a plot of land, build a house and a barn, get a shit load of animals to look after. Have a lil’ family. I mean, I been lookin’ after everything for years now, so it don’t seem that different.”
“Not to like, be all Debby Downer here, because that’s such a great dream to have, really it is,” Lexi begins, sitting up a little so she can turn and look down at him. He can’t help but smile up at her. “But I need you to think critically here. Can you really see yourself being a farmer?”
Fez knows his eyes light up as he answers hell yeah baby.
She sits up more fully at that, gesturing broadly at his current fit. Not all of it is brand name, but most of it is ‘cause he wanted to look good for their first date.
“What ‘bout it?”
“Fezco, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but being a farmer is a really dirty job.”
He looks up at her through his lashes, trying to work out what she’s implying but coming up short. Dealin’ can be really dirty sometimes too. He’s lost too many shirts to bloodstains, his and others.
“Ain’t afraid of a lil mess Lex,” he says with a shrug. “Killin’ Jacobs is gon’ be a whole lot worse than anything I’d have to do on a farm.”
“Worse than delivering a calf?”
“Man, cows been giving birth by themselves for fuckin’ centuries. Ion gotta do nothin’ but be there for it.”
Lexi sighs, scrambling off him so quickly that she doesn’t realize she’s giving him a great view up the edge of her skirt. With miles of milky skin to check out, he a lil distracted when she shoves her phone in his face, a YouTube video ready to play.
“Please watch this. Then you can determine if you really want to be a farmer.”
By the time they’re walking back hand and hand to the Caddy, Fez has had a major change of heart.
“Ya know… I’m real fuckin’ good with numbers. Maybe I’d just become a CPA an’ like, have a greenhouse to grow some weed or sumn.”