Work Text:
Kakashi felt—
He ’s arrived back in Konoha, muscles and mind numb from back-to-back ANBU missions, leaving him feeling safe to collapse back at his small apartment into his bed, because a numb mind and body meant no dreams, just peaceful black and numb silence that he was so desperate to escape from.
And—
He ’d report to the Hokage in the morning, as it was late, and Minato was fine with him reporting in the morning, just as Hiruzen was fine. However, in Kakashi’s mind, it meant a matter of politeness, while to the third and fourth, it meant a sense of relief. Kakashi was unaware that Kakashi was actually resting before coming in.
Except—
Something was off, and he should have sensed it as he came through the window, flopping onto his bed, head towards the foot, ANBU mask still on, not caring to change out of his clothes, but there was a downside to working himself into such a numb state, that he didn ’t know—
—until—
Kakashi ’s mouth twisted under both masks, the sound of bickering coming from the main living area of his apartment, and he groaned, sliding out of bed, ready to literally kill Guy for intruding this late in the evening for a challenge he obviously wasn’t up for, given his fresh arrival from a mission likely smelling relatively fresh.
He cracked open the door, and—
His eyes blinked under the mask, making him wish he were wearing the head protector instead of the mask.
“I don’t know why,” illusion Obito muttered, glaring at Rin, only to pause, stiffening, confusion replacing the angry look on hr face.
“We’re not going through this again,” illusion Rin snapped, so unlike Rin in Kaakashi’s mind, as he couldn’t recollect her ever getting mad at Obito like this. She was—
Kakashi ’s eye opened and closed, confusion setting in. “ Why is she putting away canned food? ” Which only made him wonder if his numb mind managed to place a hallucination over Asuma and Kurunai, who were at times arguing like this, only to make up, all of which Kakashi found confusing quickly.
Obito turned, looking at him, swallowing, and Rin noticed, turning—
A yelp escaped from Obito as he looked right at Kakashi, the right side of his face looking rather scared, which—
Kakashi frowned, confused as to why Obito was frightened and confused why Rin—
His mind went a bit fuzzy as there did seem to be some level of change in her, yet he couldn ’t quite place it.
“Uh,” Obito muttered.
Rin stared, looking mortified.
Kakashi stared back, waiting for the hallucination to continue, but—
“Bakashi?”
“Arguing?” Kaksahi said weakly, unsure of how to respond, preferring responses that required the least effort.
“Don’t worry about it,” Rin swallowed, trying to put on her warm smile yet failing.
Kakashi moved in, mind and body knumb, deciding to perch himself on his table, crouching and observing.
And definitely creeping Obito out for some reason, but this illusion of Obito had longer hair pulled back into a short ponytail and a very grumpy, very un-Obito-like face, which Kakashi felt was rather cruel for his mind to be playing that kind of trick on him.
Kakashi rocked back and forth, self-soothing, deciding to amuse himself with the hallucinations, as, while weird, they were undoubtedly better than dreams where his dead teammates came to him as bloodied messes.
“You’re ANBU?”
“My hallucinations should know that,” Kakashi thought, yet still nodded his head at Rin, who looked rather upset.
Obito glared, then—
“Hey!” Obito let out a hiss, covering his left eye despite the fact that there was no eye there anymore. “Turn it off!”
Kakakashi continued soothing, rocking where he was on the table. “Can’t.”
“Then keep it closed, Bakashi!”
He let out a hum, closing his left eye, continuing to rock while Rin looked over at Obito, worrying her lip as she did so. Then, she sighed, and turned her attention to Kakashi, walking over and—
He saw her nose wrinkle as he continued rocking on the table.
“You stink,” Rin frowned.
He looked at hallucination Rin and took a deep breath. “Shower.”
Rin continued frowning and pointed at the shower, her tone stern. “Yes.”
He let out a hum, then headed in, deciding not to argue with his brain telling him taking a shower might be a good idea, and headed in, stripping off his clothes and just letting them drop when—
From out in the other room, he heard a hallucination curse from the other side of the door. “Bakashi!”
Kakashi frowned.
“Keep the damn eye closed!”
“Yeah. Chakra drain,” Kakashi thought to himself, trying to keep that in mind whenever he did manage to forget in his exhausted state, and Obito let out a curse from the other side of the door. As the hot water hit his muscles, he couldn’t help but think, “I know I should report the fact I’m hallucinating right now, but the last thing I want is for them to pull me from doing missions. It’s the only thing that’s been keeping me sane.”
He finished, wrapping a towel around his waist and grabbing another to dry his hair, and stepped out—
“Bakashi!”
Kakashi stared, sitting down on his couch, watching both hallucination Obito and hallucination Rin turn red in the face. Obito turned around, while Rin froze, her face slowly turning redder.
“Why are you naked?” Obito asked, looking up at the ceiling, sounding completely exasperated. Rin startled and hurried over to the kitchen, opening and closing the drawers.
“Why?” Kakashi frowned, thinking the answer—
Rin quickly hurried over, slipping the loops of one of the cloth masks he kept on hand just in case over his ears, settling the mask comfortably onto his face before reaching up to—
Kakashi frowned. “ So the hallucination is tactile now? ”
Hallucination Rin went to work drying his hair, frowning. “You’re going to get sick if you’re not careful.”
“Sorry.”
“Again. Why are you naked?” Obito said, still looking at the ceiling while Rin blushed, but then he turned—
His face twitched while Kakashi didn ’t move, just sat there, too exhausted to fight the hallucinations that came to visit him, particularly when there were far worse he could be having.
“Can you not ignore me and my question, Bakashi?”
“Not real,” Kakashi said.
“What’s not real?” Rin asked.
“You.”
To which Obito ’s eyes went wide, his anger flaring while Rin’s mouth formed a circle and her head turned to the one side of the couch, her fingers quickly latching onto the blanket and wrapping it around him before continuing to dry his hair.
Obito though? His eye twitched, and his mouth twitched before looking around the place. Still, Kakashi recognized that look as the one Obito got when he wanted to find something to distract himself, such as distracting himself from actually training.
His eye lit on the bookshelf, and he walked over, picking up—
The way Obito ’s face turned red again, Kakashi had an idea what he found.
And then he was storming over, shoving the book into Rin ’s face. “He reads porn . ”
Kakashi sent hallucination Obito a glare before snatching his Icha Icha from him, cracking it open without hesitation while Rin frowned.
“How?” Obito choked out. “How is it you like him and not—“
“We’re not,” Rin’s tone of voice—
Kakashi ’s mouth twisted under the mask, not liking the tone she used.
“…discussing that.”
“He’s reading porn. In front of you.”
“I’m sure it’s not porn,” Rin said, leaning in slightly, resulting in Kakashi tensing up, because even if this was a hallucination—
Being close to Rin's dream or not brought a lot of feelings he couldn ’t wrap his head around.
“And how did he even get his hands on porn?” Obito blurted out. “We’re still…”
Kakashi frowned, then opened the book to the front showing the title page.
“Oh,” Rin said. “The author signs it?”
Kakashi didn ’t answer because any hallucination would know what he knew.
And then—
Rin ’s fingers tugged at the first page. “Could you start at the beginning?”
“Rin!” Obito stammered out, his face turning red.
And then, as Kakashi obliged the hallucination simply because the hallucination of Rin prompted Icha Icha to the first page. In contrast, the Obito hallucination felt the need to slam the front door as he left.
It was an interesting hallucination, and far, far better than the nightmares that would plague him when he nodded off, and suddenly the back-to-back missions—
His body was exhausted, but he was enjoying this hallucination.
Rin ran her finger over the lines she read, and Obito—
Kakashi didn ’t know what the Obito hallucination was up to, what kind of trouble he was getting into, or perhaps when he’d be back being so un-Obito-like.
“My eternal rival!” Following the door slamming open, Kakashi cringed.
“Please tell me I don’t have to fix the front door,” Kakashi thought to himself.
“I’ve heard you’re finally home from…”
There was a pause, one that made Kakashi stiffen, his eyes drifting up.
“Why are you naked?” Guy asked very loudly.
Kakashi looked at him, sighing, right eye narrowed. “Why are you barging into my apartment without announcing yourself? ”
Guy made a sound, fingers pointing, pointing at—
Kakashi turned, frowning, looking at Rin, confusion setting in. And then he looked at Guy, his mind slowly processing—
“Rival, why are you naked in front of…”
“He’s not your rival!” Obito snapped, the should be a hallucination Obito who glared at him, and—
Kakashi ’s eye closed and opened, his head turning, remembering labeling this as a very tactile hallucination, and he could definitely feel—
Rin leaned up against him, one arm clutching his bicep under the blanket she ’d fetched to him when he’d walked out of the shower, thinking Rin and Obito weren ’t real, finger slowly going over one line of Icha Icha so they could read together as Guy insisted he was Kakashi ’s rival while Obito claimed—
Kakashi ’s face slowly but surely started to redden, realization hitting, as well as utter confusion, while Obito insisted he was the real rival, glaring now at Guy.
“Rin?” Kakashi choked out.
And then she glanced up, her warm brown eyes—
He quickly turned away, swallowing, looking right at Obito, a finger pointing out from the blankets. “You! You saw my face!”
Obito turned to look at him, frowning. “ That ’s what you ’re worried about?”
“Yes!” Kakashi protested, voice straining.
“We saw you naked, Bakashi,” Obito said, glaring at him. “And you’re still naked, acting this way in front of Rin.”
Which—
He felt his face start to redden even more now that someone said what he ’d been trying to avoid mentally, Icha Icha slipping from his fingers and hitting the floor.
Hands reached up, pulling the edge of the blanket over his head as his face continued burning hot from the unexpected embarrassment. Swallowing, he closed his eyes, doing the hand sign for releasing a gengetsu and muttered It allowed, only—
“Kakashi?” Rin said from beside him, hand on his shoulder, through the blanket where his ANBU tattoo was located.
“Why?” Obito asked. “Why do you even like…”
“Obito!” Rin said firmly from beside Kakashi, whose mind didn’t fathom the concept of those two arguing, let alone what they could be arguing about when that was certainly outside his understanding of their relationship.
“…this guy instead of…”
“Guys,” Guy said.
“Enough!” Rin snapped. “We’re not talking about that.”
“You owe me an answer!”
“I don’t owe you anything!”
Kakashi felt his body tremble, still hiding his face, still feeling mortified, but also mentally losing it because Obito and Rin were arguing, and they never argued, at least—
“Guys!” Guy said. “Stop arguing!”
“Oh?” Obito said, a sneer in his tone. “Might as well leave, since we’re not welcome.”
“Ob…”
“No!” Kakashi said, sucking in his breath, starting to get up as panic at them leaving him set in. He stood. “I’ll get dressed, so don’t…”
Chakra exhaustion decided to hit right at that moment, resulting in him face planting into the floor of his apartment living room, his entire body trembling and—
—mortification—
—utter mortification—
He lay there, with only a towel around his waist that had started to come loose and a blanket on top of him and around him, thankfully covering him, but if anybody tried moving him—
“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”
“Obito!” Rin snapped.
“Eternal rival!”
He felt hands on his shoulders, Rin ’s gently ones on his left and Guy’s not so gentle ones on his right.
“Shall we?”
Kakashi let out a groan at Guy ’s suggestion, knowing his eternal rival wanted to lift him.
“Chakra exhaustion?” Rin asked.
Kakashi—
A hand stuck out, and he opened and closed it.
He heard Rin sigh. He felt her rub his back.
And Obito—
There was a groan and a shifting from the kitchen area.
Kakashi ’s fist clenched, breathing deep.
“What do we do?” Guy asked.
“Well…” Rin started saying.
“Fourth,” Kakashi managed to get out, usually being fine with Rin stepping in, even lecturing him about the Chakra exhaustion, but—
There wasn ’t much covering him, and realizing he’d walked out of the shower with only a towel on in front of her—
“What are you doing?”
Rin—
She ’d shifted from his side, and he heard her approaching the bathroom when Obito spoke up.
“Why are you going through his clothes?” Obito asked.
“Got it!” Rin said. “He’ll be here soon, Kakashi.”
Kakashi wasn ’t sure what she meant—
—until he felt the familiar feeling in the air of Minato teleporting into his apartment. “What?”
“I’ll get him some clothes,” Rin said.
“Now you’re going through…” Obito protested, his voice straining, only to shut up for some reason Kakashi couldn’t tell.
Kakashi could hear her shuffling around in his bedroom for some clothes, and then she came back. “Here, Sensei. I’ll wait out front, okay?”
“Rin?” Obito muttered. “You…”
“Stay away from me,” Rin snapped.
Kakashi growned. “Why?”
“What?” Minato asked, gently pulling him up from the ground.
“The fighting.”
“Ah,” Minato said, as Kakashi’s body remained limp.
Kakashi found himself staring at the ceiling, heard Guy pacing back and forth. At the same time, Obito stood in the kitchen not looking in his direction, as Minato helped Kakashi into some actual clothes, then helped him up onto the couch, leaning Kakashi ’s head against the headrest.
“There.”
Kakashi glanced around, looking for—
“Kakashi, rest.”
“Icha Icha,” he muttered.
“Bookshelf,” Minato said, frowning, obviously not wanting to get the book despite knowing Kakashi’s obsession ever since Jiraiya gave him the preprint copy.
“No,” Kakashi said, reaching down towards the side of the couch, wanting to bury his face into Icha Icha and pretend that Obito and Rin hadn’t shown up alive and he’d not just now did some of the most embarrassing shit ever.
It wasn ’t there, though.
“Rin took it outside to read,” Guy said.
“Wow,” Obito said. “Look what you’ve done, bakashi. Gotten her reading porn, have you?”
“Obito,” Minato said.
“Don’t tell that to any Konoha housewife!” Guy said, shaking his finger at Obito. “They don’t like their adult romance novels called porn.”
Kakashi flopped a hand over his eyes.
“They don’t exactly like seeing fourteen-year-old shinobi reading adult content either,” Minato said, pulling the blanket up over Kakashi. “And I’m going to need to strange sensei as yet another one of my precious students has gotten their hands on Icha Icha.”
“Wait?” Obito frowned. “That’s written by…”
“One of the legendary Sannin!” Guy said enthusiastically.
“Fuck,” Obito said.
“Language,” Minato clicked his tongue.
“Well, it makes sense the old man writes porn.”
“It’s not porn!” Guy protested.
“Have you read it?” Obito asked, smirking at Guy.
“Well, no.”
“Then how can you tell it isn’t porn?”
“Fourth’s wife doesn’t read porn,” Kakashi muttered as Guy said something about getting Rin.
Rin came in, a slight tinge on her face indicating she got to what the Konoha housewives called the juicy parts, likely, and Minato sighed, walking over and pulling the book from her hands. “How about I ask Kushina for something more age-appropriate you and Kakashi can both read?”
“They make porn for minors?” Obito asked, his mouth twisting into a frown, confusion written all over his face.
“They make romance novels for teenagers,” Minato sighed, looking as if a headache was coming on.
“Wait,” Obito choked. “Did you suggest…” And then he gave out a strangled groan. He then pointed at Kakashi. “As if he’s interested.”
Kakashi frowned, always finding himelf willing to try a book once, finding himself attached to Icha Icha in part because of the adults that told him he couldn’t to the fact Jiraiya wrote it, even gave him a preprint copy just as he had given Kushina one, which was for some reason Jiraiya’s way of helping Kakashi with the loss of Rin, much to Minato’s frustration.
“If Kushina recommends it, will you read it as well?” Rin said.
Kakashi frowned.
“See?” Obito said. “Don’t get your hopes…”
“I’m kind of stuck for a few days,” Kakashi said.
“Oh!” Rin said, then cheerfully, more like what Kakashi remembered. “Sensei?”
“I’ll see what Kushina can find by tomorrow then,” Minato said, letting out a sigh as something akin to normalcy was going to happen.
“Can I have a copy too?” Guy said. “I’ll finish reading it before my rival!”
Kakashi doubted that but said nothing.
“Oh,” Rin said. “Kakashi isn’t going to be reading, but resting.”
“I’m confused,” Guy said.
Obito though. “Why? Why are you going through all that trouble?”
To which Rin ’s smile faultered, her head turning to look at Obito.
“He doesn’t even like you that way,” followed by, “I do.”
Rin—
Kakashi looked at her face, saw the way she worried her lips, the way—
Obito, of all people, had managed to upset Rin.
And in Kakashi ’s world, yet another impossibility had just happened.
“I don’t like Rin?”
“I love you,” Obito said.
“And I love Kakashi,” Rin snapped.
Kakashi—
“Oh. Oh, that’s what they were arguing about.” Then, “Shit.”
In the back of his head, he always thought that Obito had lived, Rin might—
Kakashi swallowed. “You deserve better, Rin.”
“Not true!” Guy blurted out. “My eternal rival is perfect for Rin-chan!”
“He’s not, and he’s not your…”
And then came the slap.
“Grow up, Uchiha Obito!”
Kakashi ’s mind registered that Rin had hit Obito, his confusion growing.
“Relationships. Emotions. Social constructs.”
All things one couldn ’t learn to understand with a book and—
Rin seemed like one of the few who ’d always managed to find ways to explain those things in ways he could understand, sometimes even better than Minato, and Kushina—
Kushina ’s attempts always left Kakashi amused.
Rin stormed out, and—
“You?” Minato said, giving Obito a look. “You and I are going to have a good, long talk.”
“Yeah, but…” Obito frowned. “He killed her. He…”
Kakashi ’s limbs decided to—
Everything spasmed, but it was only later that Minato informed him he had a full-blown seizure.
A seizure triggered by the effects of Chakra exhaustion and the trauma of having almost killed Rin.
“I’m…”
“Apologize later,” Minato said. “When you’ve time to actually think about what I’ve said and I’ve a chance to have an even longer conversation about where you went wrong tonight, Obito.”
“I’m sorry,” Kakashi said.
“Rival?”
“I promised to protect her,” Kakashi muttered. “I broke my promise. Sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?” Obito said.
“I promised you,” Kakashi said.
“And not because you like her?”
“Obito.”
“I…” Kakashi frowned. “I’m scum.”
“You’re not,” Minato said.
“I don’t…” Kakashi frowned. “She deserves better.
“But do you love her?” Obito asked.
To which—
“Yes. Happy?”
“Of course not,” Obito muttered. “How can I…”
“You and I are going to talk later about respecting Rin’s boundaries,” Minato said. Then, “You know what? No. Kushina’s going to give you the lecture about respecting a girl’s feelings.”
“Obito’s not respecting Rin’s feelings?” Kakashi asked, looking at Minato, confused.
Minato sighed. “Technically, you aren’t either.”
“Then I should…”
“You need a different kind of discussion than Obito, Kakashi, and definitely not a lecture,” Minato said. He then straightened. “Kushina’s not usually good at explaining how emotions and stuff work to you, but I think in this case she might be the best one to explain things.