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“Dude, have you seen this?” Sapnap says randomly during one of the top hero team’s monthly game nights. The blaze hybrid had been silent up until then, scrolling on his phone while Dream went for snacks in the joint kitchenette.
“Which of us are you talking to?” George drawls boredly, not looking up from the laptop on his lap. He seems to be trading stocks, but only Prime himself knows if they belong to him or not. “Also be more specific.”
“Seen what?” Dream asks as he sets his soda down and throws Sapnap a bag of hot and spicy Ghastitos. (Because his mama raised him right despite having less than two decades to do so).
George gets a box of imported chocolate, due to his tendency of being a rich bitch with a bottomless wallet and expensive tastes.
Sapnap rolls his eyes. “No it's like- there's this site. It has these- They're.. stories I guess? about us.”
“That's called a gossip rag, Pandas.” Dream offers pragmatically as he starts up a new game on their flat screen. “We aren't supposed to read those.”
“Idiot.” George adds helpfully.
“I know where you sleep.” Sapnap hisses. “But that's not what I'm talking about. These are totally made up by our fans. Like, they know it's fictional. It's alternate universes where we do things they know we don't do in real life.”
“Like what?” Dream turns his attention to his friend and teammate, now fully curious about this strange phenomenon as he takes a sip of his drink.
“Like, uhhh… kiss.”
Dream chokes, coughing as the fizzy drink goes up the wrong pipe. “What?”
Even George looks interested now, much to Sapnap's smug satisfaction.
“Yeah.” He confirms. “Most of these are like… romantic relationships between heroes. There's uhh.. Warden and Triton, Vulpine and Rosethorn… Oh! Guess what the most popular one is!”
“...What is it?” Dream asks warily.
Sapnap laughs evilly. “Morpheus and.. drumroll please.. 404! They call it 404pheus.”
“Let me see that!” Dream groans, snatching Sapnap's phone before the blaze can react. “Why are people even-”
… wait a minute.
Dream looks closer at the phone delightedly. “I see you forgot to mention that the second most popular pairing is Inferno and 404. One might even say… 404erno.”
“You see how they put my name first for both of those?” George interjects. “It's because they know I would automatically be the top in the relationship.”
Sapnap snorts. “No, it's cause they feel pity for how bitchless you are.”
“You-”
“It's actually phonetic I think.” Dream tells them, tuning out their ensuing scuffle as he continues scrolling through “his tag” on the site. His hero persona gets shipped with everyone… even random non-hero celebrities and someone called Y/n. He keeps scrolling, curious to see how many of his supposed love interests he recognizes.
Then, at the bottom of the page he sees an unexpected sight.
“...Oh my Prime…” He gasps, a little too loudly if the way the other two hero's heads snap up indicates.
“What?” George sounds concerned. “What is it?”
“Uhm.” Dream stalls, not willing to admit the glaring issue he sees printed in black on the page. He has to choose a different thing to point out- “Someone is writing stories about Antipode and the Captain! And it's explicit! Crazy!”
Good. That diversion seems wild enough to draw attention from-
Wait. Wait no, someone wrote sexy fiction about his mother-figure and a villain. That image needs to be locked in the trauma vault and burned.
Dream cringes.
“...Really?” Sapnap asks, sounding intrigued enough that Dream sends him a death glare.
“A hero and a villain?” George muses thoughtfully. “Could it be a tactic to gain sympathizers? Writing stories that cast Villains as good and Heroes as willing to fraternize with them?”
Dream winces.
“I don't know about that. Here.” He throws Sapnap's phone back to him. “Let's just play something.”
“You closed the tab!” Sapnap exclaims indignantly. “I wasn't done.”
“Force of habit.” Dream lies. “Tommy leaves tabs open like crazy. Wastes data.”
“That's so lame.” Sapnap grumbles. “You're such an old man.”
George shoots Dream a considering look, one that tells the blonde that his excuse screamed just as suspicious as he feels.
But Dream doesn't care. He starts the game on multiplayer, trying desperately to understand how the author on ao4 knew… how they suspected…
How had they been outed? Or… had they been?
No surely it would have been a bigger deal if word had gotten around…
So could people really be-
--------
“ Shipping us?” Technoblade, The Blade, Blood God himself repeats. “How do you even know that ?!”
“How do you ?” Dream shakes his head. How Techno knows about shipping must be reserved for another time. “You don't think that's weird?”
“You're a public figure, Dream.” Techno responds blankly. “I'd be more surprised if you weren't paired off with anyone you ever interacted with by the bored, obsessed masses.”
We're being called out, boys
Aren't u glad we've already educated u techno
.
What would they do if they knew that this was a fanf-
Shut up. no spoilers.
but what if all fanfictions are just alternate universe
“So you're totally fine with the fact that random people are “ shipping ” YOU and I.” Dream presses, because he has to be sure.
“You and me.” Techno corrects. “It's only you and I when we are the subject of the sentence.”
“You and I are the subject of this conversation and I want to know why you aren't freaked out by this.” Dream shoves his phone in Techno's face. “Look. This one author writes like they know things that they absolutely shouldn't.”
Techno peers into the screen, reading the text with squinted eyes before sharply recoiling. “ Awe nawh . Siren hates 404. That's not even realistic.”
“What?” Dream blinks, turning his phone back around. “That's not what I meant to- No. this .”
“Morpheus calls out from the Commission tower, a long mane of sun kissed flax waving like a flag of the bittersweet agony his heart faced as he was kept from his one true love. “Blood God oh Blood God, Deny thy Crowfather refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be your heroic nemesame.” Techno reads aloud.
“Well. I am pretty sure they stole that from Tremblelance-” Famous poet sure, but Techno always preferred the epics. “And Nemesame is definitely not a word… but otherwise it seems pretty accurate. I can totally see where you're coming from.”
I think Shakespeare has been dead long enough that he isn't copyrighted now.
Are we sure nemesame isn't a word? Nemesis had to come from somewhere
Nemesis
Nemesis
Yall aint even commenting on Techno's sarcastic ahh smh
“Fuck.” Dream whips his phone around again, a blush climbing up his ears. “Wrong tab.”
.
“Oh ho? Are you having fun reading fanfiction about us, Mr. Morpheus?” Techno can't help but tease, a grin splitting his lips. “I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff.”
“I'm- I'm researching .” Dream splutters. “To make sure there aren't any.. information leaks! or anything.”
“Come on, stop worrying, green boy.” Techno tells him. “ Who would write confidential leaks on a random amateur fiction site instead of releasing it to the media?”
“The same type of person who would write me as a dragon and you as a knight that dragon me accidentally mistook for a princess and carried away to hoard! How did they know I'm a dragon-hybrid, huh?! Answer that!” Dream insists, grabbing Techno by the shoulders with wide eyes.
“Dream.” Techno starts seriously, injecting as much sincerity into his gaze as possible as those green eyes lock onto his. “Out of the two of us, one of whom is a wanted criminal, you are by far the most paranoid hero I've ever met. “
Dream pauses.
“Oh Prime, I'm turning into 404.” He gasps, hands flying to his cheeks in horror.
“...Yes.” Techno agrees after a beat because while he doesn't know 404 well enough to say that the hero deserves the slander, he also doesn't know him well enough to care. “But more importantly, I need to tell you that I am very offended.”
Dream’s nose wrinkles in confusion. “About what?”
“Well.” Techno starts, hooking his fingers into Dream's jeans and tugging him forward. “I can't help but think it's kinda messed up, yanno?”
Dream's eyelashes flutter as he leans in closer, wrapping his arms around Techno's waist. “Huh? What's messed up?”
“I mean-” Techno grins around his tusks, pressing his forehead against the hero's so they end up having to go crosseyed to look at each other. “If you want to explore our illicit, highly frowned upon relationship, Dream, you don't need stories to do it. I'm, quite literally right here .”
.
“Oh yeah?” Dream rasps, a mischievous glint in his half-lidded, burning gaze as he easily slides into the right gear for this change of speed. “Are you gonna be my damsel in distress Techno? Have I impressed you with my heroic charm?”
“Your heroic assets, more like.” Techno shoots back with a grin. “But hey, maybe that charm of yours has secrets I don't know about. Why don't you show me, oh great dragon.”
“Shut up.” Dream rolls his eyes, then presses his lips against Techno's in a passionate kiss.
“Heh.” Technoblade laughs in between eager reciprocations. “Charming indeed.”
---‐-------------‐------–—
Jester presses Inferno up against the wall, unafraid of the flames surrounding the hotheaded hero. Their passion burns hotter anyway, and they have both been scorched before.
“We have to stop this.” Inferno begs. “I'm a hero, You're a Villain. It will end in tragedy.”
“I want to be with you.” Jester says in return, a crystalline tear perched in his golden eyes.
The Villain is maskless despite being in full Villain regalia. His eyes are the same color as his wings and his hair is-
Sapnap bites his lip, blushing despite himself as he saves the Jester/Inferno tab for later before closing it.
He tried not to let the others catch on to his interest earlier, when the topic of Hero and Villain relationships had been brought up by his silly discovery, (People write about him, how cool!), but his mind had immediately gone to Jester.
To… Quackity.
Ugh. Sapnap buries his face in his pillow.
If only his relationships in real life were as easy as the stories his fans wrote. Maybe he should just pin more people against walls.
Sapnap shakes his head. It works in the stories, sure, but in reality he can't just pull out a random romance novel cliché and expect it to work. Life isn't a story. Like, sure people have some good ideas about how to approach each other but they would neeeeever work in person.
Well. Maybe.
They would probably work for George.
….Sapnap should… do some more reading. See what people are fond of. It might come in handy some day… research, that is.
Yeah. Research.
Now Sapnap just has to figure out how to use those filters properly.