Chapter Text
"Why do you have to study abroad? Why not just stay here?" Rumi asks the boy who used her lap as a makeshift pillow as they both sat under the oak tree that stood on the middle of their school field.
Chuckling, he reaches out to caress her hair "With you?"
With me
Jinu is a dreamer. Rumi dated a dreamer.
Even before they knew each other, he always wanted to be a pilot. They met at school when she was still a freshman taking Corporate Management and him a junior in Aviation through a bunch of mutual friends, hit it off and eventually started dating
Two years later, here they are
He'd always mentioned how someday he'll become successful and rich enough to provide for his family who are struggling to make ends meet. Now with his younger sister entering high-school and sick mother working two jobs just to pay off their father's debts, Jinu was under a lot of pressure to achieve his goals as soon as possible
"My uncle Gwi-Ma offered to pay for school but it has to be in North Dakota"
Rumi felt bad for even thinking about convincing him to stay. This was a great opportunity for him- for his family and their future. She just couldn't stand the fact that he'd be so far away from her
She didn't want to feel alone again
Her heart ached when she sees the doubt in his eyes. He's weighing his options again- for her, even though he was never suppose to.
"Do you want me to stay-"
"No!" She immediately cuts him off. She can't let her selfishness win so she can have him by her side forever. Not now- not when he's so close to reaching his goal "You go- what's another four year wait right?"
They had already agreed that they'll talk and update each other regularly through video calls and texts- they can make it work. She just couldn't fathom how much she'll miss him
"I'll come back for you Rumi" he promises as he reaches out and kisses the back of her hand. The purple and blue bracelet he had made just for her was still intact
"And when I do - I will marry you"
...
"Here" Mira hands her a glass of pink gin as she took a seat on the space beside her friend
When Rumi barged into her dorm room that afternoon looking like she hadn't slept in days, she assumed that this was just another ranting session of how much she'll miss Jinu since he's moving to the states tomorrow
"I c-can't"
"Your boyfriend is leaving you for four years and you sure you don't want a drink? Are you pregnant or something?"
Mira had intended for the question to be joke but when she saw the color drained from Rumi's face, she knew she hit a bullseye
"Oh shit- Rumi are you?"
"I f-found out this morning with Z-zoey she helped me with the t-test I- Mira I- don't know what to d-do"
Zoey had only suggested for her to take a pregnancy test when she noted how much she'd been throwing up lately. Her body felt like it hated her and she's always caught sleeping on the most random places
The pink haired girl's eyes softened at her friend who had been shaking in tears. She wasn't much of a physically affectionate person but at the time, all she could think to do was pulling Rumi into a hug
"Does he know?"
"No" Rumi sniffles
"You have to tell him"
"No!" She breaks away from their embrace with a scared look on her face
"Rumi, he's the dad- he has to know"
"And what? So that he can throw his dreams away for me? No he doesn't have to know" Rumi says firmly before shrinking into a corner
If she tells him, there is no doubt that Jinu will stay with her. This opportunity his uncle had offered would vanish and he wouldn't be able to graduate in the best schools. He'd be miserable and would probably resent her for ruining things for him in the long
"So you're keeping this from him" Mira deadpans
It's funny how weeks ago she's been so close on begging him to stay and now that he had all the reason to, she only ever wants for him to go and live his dream
"Promise me you won't tell Abby- or Romance, they're his friends you know"
There wasn't a lot that Mira can do once Rumi makes her decision- except to support her throughout all this and even the days after. She will never be alone- she doesn't have to feel that way even without Jinu
"I promise"
Everything would be alright
...
Until the time came that Jinu had to leave. Rumi offered to help him pack. And now they're inside his apartment, trying to make their final moments together as memorable as possible before he leaves
"Teddy bears and choo choo trains?"
"Hey I bought this for you"
Jinu laughs lightheartedly when his girlfriend started packing the ridiculous pajama set into his suitcase along with some other trinkets he probably would never use but still love since they were all from her
"Is your ride coming yet?" Rumi tries her best to look happy despite her current condition. She didn't want Jinu to have doubts about his decision to leave again.
"Mystery says he'll pick me up but he's not replying to my texts"
"He's probably driving- can you hand me my phone from my bag? I'll text Zoey instead, she'll know where he is"
Jinu complies as she continued packing his last suitcase, memorising the scent his clothes had emitted as she folded them away. Maybe she should take one of his sweaters- something she can just wear, hug and bask in everytime she misses him
"Rumi" he calls out softly from behind her
"What's wrong? Did you find-" her words died on her lips when she turns around to see him holding her bag and on his right hand on the other, pregnancy test she had been hiding
Which idiot gave her the idea to carry it around her purse again? Well she certainly couldn't leave it around Zoey's- because Mystery might stumble across it, or when she went at Mira's before she came here. So she decides to take it home instead.
Stupid Rumi. You've ruined everything
"Are you pregnant?"
A deafening silence came after that
She opens her mouth and tries but failed to speak- the words are stuck at her throat
"Am I the father?" He looks her in the eyes, as if pleading for some sort of explanation
Well he didn't have to ask- it's not like she had slept with anyone else in this lifetime
Jinu knew it too, so even though Rumi just stood there frozen, he paces back to his suitcase and starts opening them up to unpack
"Wait- w-what are you doing?" She asks horrified, trying to stop him when she finally snaps out of it. She kept prying his hands away from his suitcase only to be pushed aside
No no no Jinu don't do this. Don't throw your life away for me
"What the fuck Rumi?!" Now he was enraged. He didn't mean to yell but he couldn't control all the different emotions he's feeling all at once
"How the hell can I leave, after knowing you're carrying our child?" His voice was breaking, obviously trying to calm himself down
Rumi had to do something. She can still fix this. By now he's already convinced himself of staying for her sake and making probably the biggest mistake of his life.
He has to go- he can't keep putting her first. This time he has to choose himself
"This isn't your child" she makes sure to say it in one breath, playing it off like it didn't matter to her as to fool him perfectly
"What?"
Please don't make me say it again
"I said this child isn't yours"
Jinu deflates at his spot, trying to maintain his composure by balancing himself using a chair nearby
"Don't lie- please"
Her heart shatters at how broken he sounded. But she had to hurt him- had to destroy what they had or else he'll never leave
The girl looks away as she took a deep inhale, because she couldn't trust herself to go through with this lie if she were to look at him
"I'm not lying. You are leaving Jinu, do you really think I'll wait for you?"
Rumi felt herself falling apart when she starts to hear his faint sobs. She hated herself for being the cause of his pain but she knew she'll hate herself even more if she couldn't convince him to go
"I cheated on you. I slept with someone else"
She would never, she loves him too much to let him go through that kind of betrayal
"And I didn't think you'd ever have to know. I just expected you to go, never come back and we'll move on with other people eventually-"
She starts to move away from him, she had to leave the place or else she'll break down in tears for hurting him like this
"Please just go Jinu. You'll be late for your flight"
Jinu felt like he had been repeatedly stabbed in the chest. At that point it hurts to just keep breathing let alone move. What the hell was he suppose to do? He should've gotten mad and yell at her to leave but instead, he catches her.
He presses himself behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist so that she couldn't leave, her breath hitching at the process
She wouldn't do this to him. He doesn't belive her, he refuses to believe her- so he held on. And even on the slightest chance that her baby wasn't his, he would still stay to provide for her if that is what she wanted
Because that is how much he loves her
"Rumi please don't do this to me"
She tries to blink her tears away. Listening to him cry is pure torture- Jinu is a particularly happy person- so he doesn't cry- at least not in front of her- and certainly not like this
"I'll drop everything for you Rumi, just give me a reason to stay"
And that is exactly why she didn't want him to know- because Jinu would've done everything for her even if it destroyed him
With all her remaining strength, she pushes him off "Don't you get it? I cheated! I don't love you anymore! So don't go throwing your life away for someone like me!"
That does it. That drove the last nail her coffin. She couldn't stop her tears from falling from falling anymore as she prepared herself for the worst
He hates me now and I deserve it
Hearing her say that she doesn't love him sent Jinu over the edge. At this point he was so lost on what to do so he just sat there and continued to sob as he waits for Rumi to move- to say something- anything as he couldn't bare the thought of losing the only woman he has ever come to love
"I-I have to go"
She scampers to get to his apartment door before she changes her mind or before he tries to come after her again. The gravity of the situation only hits her when she hears Jinu say something to her that night for the final time
"I love you Rumi"
Rumi froze, her grip on the doorknob tightened before she finally had the courage to close the door behind her
"I love you too Jinu"
And they never saw each other again