Work Text:
(2 years before present, he is about 4.)
Charmy sat on his stiff mattress, the walls that surrounded him were desolate. Parts of the floral wallpaper were peeling off, the flowers looked grim. The light above would flicker, on and off. For a place built around taking care of kids, there was no soul. It didn't feel like a kids place, it lacked joy and smiles. The birds chirped outside, singing happily. Kids could be heard walking down the sidewalk, giggling. The sun shined through the ripped curtains. Everything about the outside seemed so happy. Those sounds kept Charmy going, through the dark depressing days in this orphanage, those sounds provided some hope. He stared at the dull wall, dissociating. After what happened, he went on autopilot. He didn't intend to, but it didn't matter anyway. Nothing did, all he could think about was her.
Where did she go?
Did something bad happen to her?
Will she come back?
Is she..never coming back..?
Those thoughts crowded his brain. Nothing else went through, all he could think about was her. It was consuming him, and this horrible environment didn't help. Finally, he stopped. He came back to reality, not even realizing he had tears in his eyes. It was surprising he had any left to be honest. He looked down at the teddy bear he was clenching on to. Its brown fur was crusted over, germs and grime covered the bear. The bear lacked the spark in its eye, but Charmy didn't care, that bear was the one of the only things providing him comfort these past few weeks. One of the only things that made him feel safe.
He squeezed the bear tighter. He then stared at the uneven wooden floorboards. Getting up from his bed, he crouched on to the dusty floor, still holding on to the bear. He reached under his bed, it took a couple of tries but he pulled something out. More specifically, a drawing, a drawing he made with the low quality crayons that the orphanage provided. To the usual eye, it just looked like black, blue, and yellow scribbles. But to Charmy, those scribbles were the most important person in his life. Each day he would stare at it, remembering all of the good memories he had with her. It would bring him happiness and hope, maybe one day he will see her again, maybe she just got lost. Maybe she will come and rescue Charmy from this hell. Maybe..
As Charmy stared at his beloved drawing, the door to his small depressing room opened. "Oh no.." he thought, "please, please, please don't be them.." It was. Two older kids stood in front of Charmy. One being a navy blue wolf, the other being a neon yellow wasp. They were only about 6ish years older than Charmy, but to him it seemed as if they were as tall as a skyscraper. Charmy immediately trembled in fear, most kids at this orphanage kept to themselves, but these two didn't for some reason.
(fortunately, I have never been bullied. unfortunately, that means I don't know how to write bullies..)
"What are you doing?" The wolf asked with such disrespect while he looked down at Charmy. The wasp stood right next to the wolf.
Charmy gulped, holding back all tears. "um..nothing.." He muttered, the wolf's eyes went in a multitude of directions, seemingly looking around Charmy's room. The wasp stood there aimlessly, waiting for his comrade to say something.
The wolf continued to search his room, Charmy was unsure of what he was looking for. Once Charmy looked back at the wasp, the wasp was suddenly staring at Charmy's hands. Before Charmy could question it, the wasp grabbed the paper out of Charmy's hand. "Wuh- hey!"
"A drawing? What is this, a...uh?" The wasp thought of ways to make fun of the drawing, but it was hard to make fun of something when not knowing what that something was.
The wolf snatched it from the wasp, he examined the drawing closely. "..Yeah what is this?" The wolf directly asked the young bee. Charmy, too afraid to answer, stared at the floor. The wasp leaned closer to the wolf, "Is that like a demon or something?"
"I don't know, hah, a tree died for that." The wolf smirked, the wasp then began to laugh hysterically, laughing harder then the joke deserved. Charmy's eyes narrowed, he didn't understand the insult and what trees have to do about this, but he understood it was an insult. "Seriously, what is it?"
"Uhm.."
"Come on, tell us!"
Charmy stayed silent, what was the point in telling them if they were just going to use it as material to make fun of him.
The wolf kneeled down, placing his hands on his knees to support his body. "If you tell us, we'll play with you."
Charmy's head flew up, "what?"
"Yeah, if you tell us, we'll play with you." The wolf repeated with a smile.
"But..I thought you didn't like me.." Charmy said, quieter then he intended.
"Yeah, why would we play with him?" The wasp remarked harshly.
The wolf glared at the wasp, "shut up." The wasp then slumped his shoulders, acting like a kid after a scolding by their parents. Charmy glanced between the two, utterly confused.
"It's just that..we know you're..sad and stuff..and we've been mean to you, so we wanna just, play with you! You know?" The wolf eagerly said, pushing the empathy card as far as he could. Charmy's eyes then began to sparkle with hope. Maybe these kids were finally nice, maybe he will finally get to have friends!
"Uhm..o-okay."
"Yeah, so what is this?" The wolf asked while holding out the drawing.
"Uh.." Charmy hesitated, something in him felt that he shouldn't.
"Come onn..just tell us."
This was his one way ticket in to being friends with these two, he had to. "Okay..its..my mom." Charmy muttered, it hurt saying her name out loud, or at least that's what he thought her name was. The wolf smiled, Charmy let out a breath of relief, it was hard holding all that in. In his moment of relief, he couldn't help but notice that sinister feeling behind that wolf's grin.
"Aww..do you miss her?" The wolf asked, his tone was far from concern.
"mm..y-yeah."
"Sad, I don't think she misses you." The wolf said as he crossed his arms, still holding the drawing.
"....what?" Charmy asked, did he hear that right?
The wasp smiled, it seemed as he finally caught on. "Yeah, why would she miss..you?" The wasp uttered with such disrespect That tone made Charmy feel like a piece of trash, too weird and gross for anyone to care about, just something you'd want to throw away.
"She probably left you on purpose, she didn't care about you."
"Yeah, who would?" The wasp added on.
"Who could love someone like you? She probably never loved you, just took care of you because she had to." The wolf said such hurtful words with a straight expression, it was baffling.
"Tha...that's not true! She did, she did!" Charmy stood up, his voice cracked as he yelled.
"How do you know?" The wasp asked with a devious smirk.
"Cuz..she said she did!" Charmy sounded like he wasn't to sure himself.
"Said she loved you? She was lying."
"But, why would she lie?"
"So she wouldn't have to deal with you crying. I mean, I can see why she left you. You're really annoying." The wolf bluntly stated, the way he spoke...Charmy could feel the seething hatred, it really made everything the wolf said seem true.
Charmy breathed heavily, "but..no..she..she loved me." Charmy shook as tears welled up in his eyes.
"Aww, I know, the truth hurts."
"Yeah, I bet she's a lot happier now!" The wasp expressed eagerly.
Charmy looked at the two with glossy eyes, they couldn't be telling the truth...they couldn't. "You're lying, she's gonna come back and get me!"
The wolf softly laughed, "she's never coming back for you, you know that? She left you for a reason."
"Nooo, she will!"
"Really? Then why isn't she here?"
Charmy's expression turned to blank, he looked down as he thought about it.
"It's been weeks, and she still isn't here." The wolf started inching closer. "She's not coming back." Charmy looked back up at wolf, the wolf held up the drawing and ripped it. Ripped it into multiple pieces, the pieces scattered all over the floor. He felt a sudden weight on his heart as he stared at the ripped pieces of paper. A foot slammed down on one of the pieces, "oh..well now she's really gone." The wolf said with a deadpan expression. Earning a laugh from the wasp. (forgot bro was even here)
The lump in Charmy's throat grew bigger, he felt his hands shake without his control. His vision started to blur, tears rolled down his cheek. He collapsed to the floor. "Muh...muh...mama?" He sobbed, clenching the paper out of distress. Water flowed out of his eyes like a waterfall. He gasped for air as his emotions consumed him. Every gasp of air felt more painful than the last, he felt like he was drowning in a pool of his own tears. He floated at the bottom of the pool, the opening so close, yet so far away. He was fully capable of swimming, but the water pressure held him down. No matter how hard he tried to fight it, every drop of water pulled him down further.
He could hear the two laughing, but he just ignored it. It was like they weren't even there. He was alone, all alone, forever alone. He heard them begin to walk towards the door to his room, they were finally leaving. He was yearning for this moment but couldn't even appreciate it. The damage was already done, a simple band-aid couldn't fix a deep wound.
He held the pieces of paper in his hands, his tears began to wet the pieces. To the two kids, it was just a piece of paper. But to Charmy, it was the only thing keeping him going. That drawing gave him happiness, it gave him comfort. It was something he could cling onto and never let go. Something that could make him feel safe even if a meteor was to strike. Something that meant a lot to him, something that he loved, something that loved him. Just for it to be ripped away from him. No one could fix it and he would never see the drawing the way he saw it before. The drawing was gone, gone forever, and no one cared to help. That drawing was everything to him, and now it's nothing.
After minutes of crying, the tears seemed to slow down, as did his breathing. He let the now wet pieces of paper fall on to the floor and reached for his bear. He leaned up against the bottom of his bed and held the bear to his chest. He laid his chin onto the bear's head, his stinging eyes glanced at the dusty window to his right.
"I'm sorry mommy...I'm sorry if I was too bad..I just want you to come get me, i'll never ever be bad again!" He closed his eyes as he spoke, as he had nowhere to look to, no one to look at. Charmy clenched onto his bear tighter than before. "I love you mommy..I thought you did too..but it's okay, I forgive you." Loving him or not, Charmy would always love her.
"I wanna watch cartoons and eat pancakes with you.." Charmy's mouth watered just thinking about them, he hasn't really ate anything for the past few days. "I wanna play games with you and..read stories with you and color with you and...hug you." Charmy's red eyes glistened, they felt heavy as more tears escaped. The thought of her hugging him again. The warm feeling, the secure embrace. It was the best feeling, a feeling he felt he'd never feel again.
All he wanted was to spend time with her again. Moments used to be so small, he thought nothing of them, but now those moments are all he can think about. He thought about all the times he didn't want to go to bed. The times where he would fly around the apartment to escape her grasp. He would do anything to not get in that bed. But now, all he wanted was that bed. All he wanted to hear was her to call out, "bedtime!" like she always did. Something he once hated but now something he desired. He would lay down and snuggle in his blanket, while she sat on the corner of his bed with his favorite book.
Her calming voice would start to read, going off script at times to make him laugh. Her voice played out like a soothing lullaby, making it hard for his eyes to stay open. But even though he'd fall asleep, he'd still feel the kiss on his head and hear the soft, "I love you, goodnight." Even though that book was his favorite, he can't recall the ending. He'd never be able to stay awake long enough to hear it. He really wondered how it ended. But, it was too late, he'd never find out now because she was gone. She was never coming back, she didn't love him. That's why she's gone, he wasn't good enough for her. He wasn't good enough for anyone to love.
This experience he had today took away his last bit of hope he held in his heart. The happiness outside couldn't help anymore, it just made him feel worse. He felt like he was going to be stuck here forever. Stuck in this dark, depressing room. Stuck dealing with the other kids taking their miserable lives out on him. Stuck alone, forever. He thought that no one would help him, no one cared to do so. The thing he wished for so much, would never come. Luckily, Charmy was wrong. Very wrong.