Chapter Text
He’s been hearing people talk about Mizi and Ivan for weeks. At first it was stuff he could brush off, roll his eyes at and hell maybe laugh at over how stupid it was. They were just friends, that’s it.
Now he’s not so sure as he hears a group of girls loudly gossip about them.
“Did you see them on a boba date last friday?”
“Oh my God! No?!”
“They had matching bracelets and phone charms.”
“Cute~!”
“Well I saw them going to the movie theatre yesterday. She was linking his arm.”
“They’re so cute!”
Hearing they’d been to not one but two places without offering him or Sua an invite stung a little. Sure he hated boba with a passion but it’s not the only thing they sold there.
But the cinema date really bothered him, they’d all usually go as a group but this time he’d never been asked. He didn’t even know what they’d been watching.
“They’re always walking home together.” one girl says. She’s right they are more so now than ever.
Mizi didn’t live close by; she was about twenty minutes away compared to Till who was literally next door to Ivan.
“I’ve heard they stay over at each other's places.” another girl adds.
Till’s stayed over at Mizi’s place, Ivan’s stayed at his and vice versa but no one’s said anything about it. Not that he’d want anyone starting rumours about him or anything.
“I saw them in the library yesterday, I think it was a study date!” one girl practically squeals.
He’s studied with Ivan before, no one’s said that about them. What about Mizi and Ivan is different? Have they kissed? God the thought of that makes his heart sink, makes him panic.
Neither of them have said they’re dating
Should they?
Yeah. I thought we were friends
Friends tell each other stuff like that right?
Friends don’t date other friends crushes
He tears up as he draws, gripping his pencil so hard he’s surprised it hasn’t broken.
Bastard!
He’s not hiding or avoiding them in the library or anything, he just didn’t want to be around Ivan or Mizi right now.
“Till?” a girl from his class comes up to him, he startles and almost snaps the lead in his pencil.
He glances down at the drawing. A sketch of the traitorous bastard himself, Ivan. Maybe he should add devil horns to it or a stupid mustache.
Why am I even drawing him?
Till quickly hides the sketchbook to his chest and looks up at the girl. A blonde with green eyes, her blonde hair in a ponytail.
“...What?” he’s not the best at socialising, fiddling with one of his striped arm warmers. It doesn’t sound too rude right? “I don’t know where he is. Give whatever gift you have to him yourself. I’m not an errand boy.”
Maybe that was a tad harsh? But he really doesn’t want to see him right now.
The girl looks confused and unsure how to respond for a moment.
“Huh? No I was just-” she pauses and nervously bites her lip before continuing. “Did you hear about Ivan?”
He tries to keep his face blank, keyword tries but he frowns at the mention of him.
“What about him?”
“Him and Mizi are dating.”
He huffs and fiddles with his arm warmers.
“I know,” he says a little too quickly.
He didn’t tell me
“Are you fine with that? Everyone knows you like Mizi.”
What the fuck do you think?
He grits his teeth and starts to pack up his art supplies.
“I don’t care who that asshole dates.” he growls before leaving.
Till swipes at his eyes with one of his arm warmers.
Fucking liar
* * *
Ivan sees the grey haired boy head out of the library, swiping at his eyes. He tries to catch up with him.
Till’s a somewhat sensitive guy, he always has been. A lot of things make him cry, it’s cute honestly. If it’s over something minor, something silly, Ivan will lovingly tease him.
Till doesn’t look like he’s in the mood for that today judging by the look that was on his face as he left the library. He looked like he’d either snap at someone or break down in front of them.
Ivan’s known him long enough to know it’s a very poor decision to rile him up if he’s on a knife's edge. He’ll either lash out verbally or start swinging.
He remembers going too far once when they were kids in preschool and Till throwing the first punch. Soon after they’d brawled in the playground. He doesn’t even remember what he’d said or done just how angry it had made Till.
They’d not spoken for a week after that until Till came over when he was playing alone with a bunny plush and somewhat quietly and shyly muttered how he’d missed him, how he was sorry for swinging at him.
Ivan remembers apologising too, telling him he himself started it and little Till had awkwardly thrusted a little finger in his face.
“Pinky promise.” he’d said, making little Ivan raise a brow.
“Promise what?”
“We’ll never fight like that again.”
Ivan had nodded and linked their little fingers.
He’d not broken that promise they’d made when they were five. He intended to keep it that way. Sure Till would curse at him from time to time but they’d never fight.
Ivan stops as he watches his best friend head towards the boys bathroom, looking way more pale than he usually does.
He doesn’t normally look like that when people piss him off. Did something happen?
He should follow him, see if he’s alright.
* * *
Hiding in a stall in the bathroom, back against the door as he cries isn’t Till’s best moment. Maybe he shouldn’t have sat on the floor either. Who knows if it’s clean.
Till swipes at his eyes, he sniffles and curses to himself, dealing with a mixture of feelings: embarrassment, anger, heartbreak, jealousy.
Who’s he heartbroken over? Mizi right?
He’s not sure.
Why does he feel jealous?
He’s also not sure and that pisses him off more, makes him cry more.
I hate this
* * *
He tries to suppress sniffles as he hears someone walk in, tries to stop the tears but he hiccups and silently curses himself.
The last thing he wants is to be a target right now for some arsehole jock. He doesn’t want to start a fight, go home bruised and have his mother worry.
No response, he hiccups again and gently rests the back of his head against the stall door.
Just leave. Please
“Till?” a familiar voice calls out that makes him turn cold, makes the nausea rise.
How does he know?
“I saw you leaving the library.”
Ivan. The last person he wants to be near now. God he thinks he’s going to throw up.
His hearing distorts, he thinks Ivan asks if he’s ok, he’s not actually sure. Ivan could have said literally anything, he could have teased him for being a crybaby for all he knows.
He knows his limit
Does he?
It’s frantic as Till opens the lid and somewhat violently heaves.
Ivan knocks on the stall. Till barely hears whatever he’s saying over the vomiting.
When he finally unlocks the stall and flushes, Ivan helps him stand on shaky legs.
“The colour’s drained out of you.” the raven haired boy says, studying him.
Yeah, seeing someone you don’t want to see will do that
“You’re not sick right?...Mizi said there’s a bug going around.”
Ivan goes to put the back of his hand to Till’s forehead but Till grabs his wrist.
“Don’t touch me.” he hisses, letting go of his hand seconds later. He hates how hot tears fill his eyes.
Don’t cry. Don’t you dare fucking cry
Ivan grabs his bag and Till snatches it off him.
The raven haired boy raises a brow, completely confused as to why his friend’s in a mood with him.
“Are you ok?”
Till bites his lip at that.
No and it’s all your fucking fault
“Just leave me the fuck alone.” His voice trembles, a single tear rolling down his cheek and dripping off his chin.
He goes to leave but Ivan grabs his wrist.
“Till-”
“Let go of me.” he practically mutters loud enough for Ivan to hear because he knows damn well if he says it any louder the floodgates will burst open.
Ivan lets go and Till heads to the door. He hesitates for a second before leaving the raven haired teen in the bathroom alone.
* * *
He’s on autopilot as he heads outside, hoping it’ll put enough distance between them. Hoping Ivan won’t follow him.
The thought of him doing that makes him vomit again.
He flinches as he hears someone heading over as he empties the rest of his breakfast into a bin and hopes the idiot hasn’t followed him.
“Are you feeling ok, Till?”
A hand rests on his back, rubbing circles as he heaves. He recognises the voice as the captain of the running team, Hyuna.
He relaxes almost immediately. He can deal with Hyuna. Hyuna’s a blessing right now.
He’s spoken to her the odd few times, she’s nice, he likes her. He should speak to her more, maybe try and become her friend.
The only minus is her boyfriend from the drama club. Guy’s like school royalty practically, he kind of creeps Till out with how good he is at mimicking other people’s personalities, body languages.
Perks of being an actor he supposes.But he’s way too good at getting into the roles, it’s almost like he gets possessed by whatever character he’s playing. It sends a shiver down Till’s spine.
Till looks up when he’s done. Part of him feels a little embarrassed at her seeing him like this, another part just wants to cry over everything going on.
He doesn’t know her enough for the latter so he settles for lying instead. He’s not a complainer, he’s not gonna whine about how bad he feels.
“I’m ok.” He croaks when he speaks, wiping his mouth with one of his arm warmers.
Gross
Fuck it, I can wash them later along with everything else
Hyuna gives him a look that screams she doesn’t believe him.
“Let’s get you to the nurse’s office.”
She throws an arm around his shoulder and carefully guides him back inside the school.
“Don’t you have practice?”
“Break time.” She explains before offering him a bottle of water.
He eyes it for a second unsure.
“I can get more. It’s fine.”
“You sure?”
She nods and Till takes it, taking a few sips before screwing the cap back on.
He glances down at her runner's blade as it glints from the ceiling lights, the top part decorated with painted blue and yellow flowers. Has her prosthetic always been decorated or is that new?
“Hyun woo asked if he could decorate my blade. Looks good right?”
That’s her brother right?
Till thinks he’s seen him coming out of the photography club and art room a fair few times.
“Yeah. It’s cool.” He means it, it feels very her.
She beams at that, arm not moving from around his shoulder. She feels like sunshine honestly, brightening up a room.
They fall into a comfortable silence until they reach the nurse’s office.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Hyuna asks. She’s sweet but he doesn’t want to take up any more of her time.
“Nah. I’m good. Promise.”
She looks at him, like she’s making sure he’s being truthful or not before accepting it and backing off.
“Hope you feel better soon.” she says before leaving.
He mutters a quiet thanks before entering the nurse’s office.
* * *
Till doesn’t feed the nurse complete bullshit. He doesn’t feel great but he won’t disclose the actual cause. No, instead he lies through his teeth, claiming he might be coming down with something.
Part of him is relieved when the school nurse decides to send him home. At least there he can avoid people (Ivan and Mizi) for a few hours until his mum finishes work.
The walk home isn’t a pleasant one but by some miracle he avoids crying in public as he practically power walks home, listening to his playlist.
A sound escapes him caught between a sob and growl as a song plays that Ivan likes, some kpop girl group Till doesn’t know much about.
He’s seen Ivan and Mizi dance along to some of their songs, sing along….Be happy.
His phone rings, making him feel relief as the song stops. He glances at the screen: Mom 🌕 The school probably told her they’d sent him home.
Till answers it, a weak smile on his lips as he hears his mother’s voice.
“Is my little baby sick?” she asks, worry in her voice. “You could have waited at school, I would have picked you up.”
He blushes a little, embarrassed despite the fact he’s the only one who can hear her. He’s a teenager, not a baby anymore.
“It’s not that far a walk mom,” he replies. “I..I needed the fresh air.”
“I can come home early if you want. We could watch movies together on the couch in our pjs.”
Till can’t help but smile a little at that.
“...What about work?”
“You always come before work, Till.”
He considers it for a moment. He knows what’d happen, she’d cuddle him and the floodgates would open and she’d ask him so many questions until she found out what was bothering him.
She’s a great mother, loving, kind, caring. But Till’s not ready to talk about all this just yet.
“It’s cool, I’ll just sleep it off.”
“Are you sure?”
Till hums and she accepts that.
“Ok, love you, my little rockstar.”
“...Love you too mom.”
* * *
Till kicks his shoes off once he gets home, locking the door behind him before taking off his shirt, pants and arm warmers and throwing them into the washing machine.
He goes through the motions with said washing machine before finally turning it on a cycle and abandoning it.
Till heads to his room, just grabbing some black and red pjs with a certain black and red hedgehog on the shirt and his symbol all over the pants off the top of his laundry basket and throwing them back on.
He grabs a grey blanket from the bottom of his bed and wraps it around himself before heading back into the living room and collapsing onto the couch.
The grey haired boy never realised how exhausted he felt until he felt his eyelids start to close. He lets himself get dragged into sleep.
* * *
He awakes to a knocking on the door and checks his phone: lunch time.
There’s a couple of messages on his phone, some from Mizi and a couple from Ivan.
He hates himself for checking both.
Mizi:
Ivan told me you’re sick
Hope you feel better soon
It’s really quiet without you
Ivan:
Did you go home?
Maybe I could come round and nurse you back to health? I could dress up if you’d like~
Hurry up and get better you’re no fun to tease when you’re sick
He blushes reading the middle one, something he hates himself for.
Who types that kind of shit?
He’s such a freak
The knocking gets more frequent, more louder.
He curses and gets up, grabbing his blanket and making it into a sort of hooded robe as he does.
Till kicks on some comfy slippers, and reluctantly answers the door.
Sua looks back at him, dusting off her skirt pretending like she wasn’t going to knock again.
“...Why are you here?” he asks without thinking.
“Hello to you too, emo boy.”
“Hey, why are you here?”
“I got out of school too.”
“I can see that.”
The duo stand there awkwardly before Sua speaks up again.
“Can I come in?”
Till opens the door wider. He’s not really in the mood for guests but he feels too awkward saying no.
“...Sure.”
Sua walks in and he closes the door behind her. He glances at his slippers, black bunny ones and quickly kicks them off hoping she didn’t notice them.
“So how did you get sent home?” she asks.
“Puking. You?”
“Cramps.”
He winces and apologises and points a blanketed hand to a kitchen cupboard on the right.
“There’s pills in the kitchen cabinet. Knock yourself out.”
He notices embarrassment flicker across her face for a second before she opens her mouth.
“I lied.” she mutters out just loud enough for him to hear. “It’s not like they’d know.”
Yeah she has a point
He blushes at that feeling a little embarrassed after making a fool of himself.
He gestures to the couch, sitting after she does.
“I’m guessing you heard. Ivan and Mizi…” Sua trails off, gripping at her skirt as she does. Her brows knit together as she tries to maintain composure.
“Yeah.” Till sighs. “...Is that all you came here for?”
He could have been sleeping, blanking everything out and here he is talking about it again.
“I need your help.” Sua looks at him and for a second he’s hit with a thought.
This is the longest she’s talked to me
“With what? I thought you hated me.”
She scoffs at that, crossing one leg over the other.
“I find you loud and annoying, I don’t hate you.”
Till pulls a face at that.
“Gee thanks. Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“If I hated you do you really think I’d come check up on you?”
He looks at her wide eyed for a moment before a smile crosses his lips.
She doesn’t hate me?
“I take it back, I hate you. Don’t smile at me like that.” she says no bite in her words.
Hearing that makes him suppress a laugh.
“No you don’t.” he says, still smiling.
She takes a breath, like the next thing she’s going to say takes some effort.
“Will you help me break them up?”
Till’s taken aback from hearing that, the smile fading from his face.
He blinks, eyes widening. Did he hear that right?
“...What?”
“Will you help me break them up?”
Sua holds out her hand, waiting to see how he’ll react. She looks nervous but is trying her best to mask it.
A somewhat devious smirk crosses Till’s lips and without even thinking about it, he grabs her hand and shakes.
“I’d love to.”