Archive of Our Own

“Katsuki!”  

Mitsuki called from downstairs, the light on the wall above his desk flashing in case he had his hearing aids out. Katsuki flipped off his music and meandered to the door slowly, annoyed to be interrupted while he was editing a paper for English that was due when they got back from break tomorrow. 

“What?!” He called back. 

“I need you to run to the store, your father is going to be at the studio late and he was supposed to bring dinner home. I need you to pick up a few things, come grab the list.”

“Yeah, yeah. Be down in a second!”

Katsuki ran his hands over his face, vision blurred from spending the last several hours finishing up that damn paper for Mic Sensei. He loved English, but also hated it so terribly. Writing a whole six page essay in English about some randomly assigned subject that didn’t even interest him had seriously killed Katsuki’s drive to be a top performing student. He loved learning, but this was just drudgery of the highest order. 

Katsuki pulled on a more comfortable t-shirt and sweatpants, instead of his pajamas he’d been lounging in all day, he’d really wanted to relax while working through his last day of break, so much for that. He grabbed his keys and backpack so he could stuff the groceries into it and thundered down the steps. His mother met him at the bottom with a small sticky note in hand. 

“Thanks, brat.”

“Whatever.” He held out his hand and she slapped a small wad of cash into it. He skirted around her before she could ruffle his already messy hair he hadn’t cared to brush before leaving his room and walked into his shoes as he left. “Be back in a bit.”

He checked the note as he left and swapped directions to head towards the small market a few blocks over instead of the convenience store based on his mother’s needs. A couple types of veg, some meat, noodles, and a couple seasonings they were out of. Easy enough. His mother usually went grocery shopping on the weekends since both of his parents worked tirelessly all week in their fashion studio, but with Katsuki home from school for a week, they’d burned through their food kind of fast. The nice part was Katsuki didn’t have to cook for nineteen Extras for the week, what a nice break that had been. Sadly, tomorrow, he’d be back on dinner duty for most of the week since 75% of their class didn’t even know how to clean a pan, let alone cook with it. 

“Oh, hello Bakugo-kun.”

Katsuki grunted his greeting to the old woman who ran the market. She’d owned the place longer than Katsuki had been alive, and knew almost everyone who lived in the surrounding neighborhoods by name. How she remembered them all, Katsuki would never know, but he theorized she had a little black book with their pictures from her security camera and their names tagged on. That was honestly his favorite conspiracy, even if he didn’t fully believe it was true. 

The place was mostly empty so it didn’t take long to grab everything his mother wanted and check out. Actually, it took longer to situate everything in his backpack without getting crushed than it had to actually shop. The shop owner was giggling the whole time, even offering him one of their reusable bags, but Katsuki declined. Eventually, he strapped his backpack on and waved at the old woman over his shoulder as he left.

His thoughts wandered as he walked back home. That English paper needed to be finished tonight. He’d been uncharacteristically procrastinating the damn thing all week, and it was his only homework since he’d finished everything else up before they even left for the break. Before break, he’d also decided that this one time, just this once, he wouldn’t do any training while on break. The week before, he’d nearly broken his leg on a bad mid-air turn that slammed him into Kirishima while he was hardened, and Recovery Girl warned him he needed to ground himself. He was pushing too hard, and it was going to burn him one of these days. 

She was right. Katsuki was slowly learning to accept constructive criticism and genuine advice, even if he grumbled and cursed about it aloud at the time of receiving it. Katsuki had been so focused on catching up to Izuku and fighting the villains who’d been haunting their class that he’d started to forget his own needs. His carefully crafted meal-plans often fell apart mid-week and he’d skip or miss meals in place of training, and instead drink far too many protein shakes and meal replacement packets they sold for busy heroes on the job. He’d been sleeping less and staying up late to work out new fighting strategies or moves.

He was slipping into obsession, and he knew Inui-san was starting to catch on in their weekly sessions, he just didn’t have proof enough to confront Katsuki with it yet. 

“Shit-” Katuski stumbled sideways when his shoulder slammed into someone else’s body. “Sorry, I wasn’t-”

When he looked up, he found a woman he’d never seen in this neighborhood before, but who somehow looked incredibly familiar anyway. She looked like…like a teacher he had…once upon a time? Maybe? She had a soft face with thinly rimmed glasses, a friendly smile, and long, deep black hair with a red hue glinting in the dying light of sunset. The sundress she had on draped over her body in a way that almost made her vanish into the billowing of its length in the spring breeze. 

“It’s alright. I think we were both lost in thought, huh?”

“Uhh - yeah.” Katsuki cleared his throat. “Sorry, do I know you?”

She tilted her head. “I don’t think so. I’m Miki. Who might you be?” The offered hand was stared at suspiciously, but ultimately, Katsuki decided to take it. She seemed harmless enough. He instantly regretted it. 

“I-”

The second their hands clasped, an electric shock flit through his veins from his fingertips straight to the base of his skull, rattling his jaw and all but blinding him from the pain. His life flashed before his eyes at fifty miles per hour, every single moment he remembered, and several dozen he didn’t. The most prominent feature? His cruelty, and the cruelty of all those around him who encouraged him. Katsuki rewatched the trauma he’d dished out onto his best friend like a map of his own mental hellscape, his own arrest warrant and death certificate laid out before him so neatly. 

When he came to, he was on his knees, staring at the concrete sidewalk between his legs, his hands dangling between his knees lifelessly. He couldn’t convince his limbs to cooperate. He watched his hands twitch through blurry eyes, and didn’t realize he was sobbing until wet droplets appeared on the sidewalk in front of him. 

“You’re an interesting little villain.” The woman said. Her feet appeared in his field of vision, then her face as she bent down. The smile was gone, replaced with a disappointed scowl. “I think we should do something about that. Don’t you?” Despite his mind raging inside him, Katsuki nodded. “Good.” 

Her hand appeared before him, glowing a soft white light he knew to be a quirk. This whole thing was her quirk, wasn’t it? She cupped his face, forcing him to look up. Her free hand pressed its thumb to the center of his forehead. Another bolt of lightning shot down his spine. His mouth cracked open in a scream he couldn’t let out. Katsuki’s fingers clawed his own legs, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t defend himself!

“My quirk is called ‘White Knight’. You will become the defender of your greatest love. You will seek to destroy all that has harmed what you cherish most. I might not be able to repair the damage you have done in your past, but your future friends and lovers will know you as a great soldier for their cause. Perhaps, if you find forgiveness from your past, you can break this curse. But somehow, I doubt you’ll ever forgive yourself for the harm you have caused.”

Katsuki blinked. She was gone. He gasped air back into his lungs. His body finally moved. He fell forward, hands and knees digging into the concrete as the rush of traffic and suburban noises filled his ears once more. It took several long seconds to remember he was even human before Katsuki was able to get himself up with the help of a nearby brick wall. 

He stumbled forward a few steps, stopped, and focused on his breathing. His body was betraying him. He’d been unable to defend himself. How was that possible? Katsuki was strong, he was powerful. He’d never once in his life felt so weak, not even when Izuku showed up to the first day of class and showed off a quirk he’d never had before. Katsuki had never felt helpless before.

Is this what Izuku felt, all those years under Katsuki’s boots?

“I’m sorry…” He choked out. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

But Izuku wasn’t here to apologize to. Worse than that, he wasn’t here for Katsuki to admit that somewhere in the last year, he’d fallen head over heels for the one person who’d never left his side, no matter how bad shit got. He knew Izuku would never forgive him for the horrible things he’d done as a kid, and Katsuki accepted that. It’s why he’d dutifully buried his emotions under barely-veiled threats, curse words, grunts, and brushed shoulders. He’d willingly go the rest of his life only knowing Izuku’s touch through combat training and sparring matches. Katsuki was ready to stay by Izuku’s side, as his hero partner, knowing damn well he’d never earn anything else. 

He’d never earn Izuku’s forgiveness, not even if he spent the rest of his life on his knees begging. And he would not, absolutely never, forgive himself for all the damage he’d caused. 

Katsuki hadn’t been gone long enough for his mother to worry or panic, so when he got home, he unpacked his backpack onto the counter and went back to his room without much more than the two of them grunting at each other in greeting as per usual when his mother was busy with something. 

He collapsed into bed without even realizing he’d made it upstairs. Exhaustion just swallowed him. Maybe it was the quirk, or maybe his own guilt, but his body gave out on him and he knew he couldn’t fight it. A part of him didn’t want to.

~

“If you aren’t out of bed in five minutes, Katsuki, you’re going to be late for the train!”

Katsuki thrashed awake, tangled in his own sheets, having completely forgotten what fucking day it was, or what his own damn name was (thankfully, his mother screaming it from outside his door reminded him). It was Monday, wasn’t it? Monday, and their first day back from break. They didn’t actually have classes today, the school always gave them a day to move back into the dorms if they were out for breaks, but that didn’t mean his English paper wasn’t due- 

“Fuck!”

Katsuki threw himself out of bed to rush towards his laptop on his desk, still sitting open to his, somehow finished, essay. 

“What the fuck…when did I-”

His door slid open with a heavy clack. “How hard did you sleep last night, brat? Your hair looks like a bird's nest. Come on. You’re going to be late.”

“Y-yeah.”

“You alright?”

“Uhh- yep. I just…must have crashed harder than I thought. My essay is finished, but I swore I was still editing it.”

Mitsuki tilted her head. “Kid, you were up until the wee hours finishing it after dinner. Your dad came in to check on you at like midnight and you were typing away, dead-eyed at the desk. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine, you old hag. Leave me alone.”

She rolled her eyes. “Love you too! Get to school!”

Did that bitch’s quirk cause some kind of memory or time lapse? He had no memory of eating dinner. He’d come home, handed off the groceries, and then passed out in bed - hadn’t he? Or was that a dream? He should really talk to someone about whatever the hell this quirk even was. But he couldn’t…he couldn’t do that without revealing why she’d done this to him. Maybe he should talk to Izuku-

Katuski nearly screamed when a searing burn erupted at the back of his neck, an instantly splitting headache that turned his world upside down and knocked him to his knees.

Protect him!

A voice inside his head shouted the words right behind Katsuki’s ear. He jumped sideways but there was no one there. The voice wasn’t real. The voice…wasn’t real. It was in his fucking head just like this damn quirk! 

“Shit.”

He didn’t have time to worry about this stupid quirk. He had to get to school. First, though, he logged into the school server and turned in his essay for Mic-sensei before packing up his things in record time. Katsuki didn’t waste time on a shower but he did dunk his head under the sink stream so it wasn’t quite so messy. A quick towel rub and a beanie would have to do for the day. Backpack and laptop bag in hand, he sprinted down the stairs, muttered a quick goodbye to his parents, and bolted for the train station he was hoping would be delayed today. 

The ride back to campus was slow and uneventful, which was a blessing considering the last 24 hours of Katsuki’s life. The only good thing about catching the late train and being the last student to arrive back to the dorms was that the whole class were in their rooms settling back in and unpacking. They’d already had their hugs and happy reunions after a whole week away from each other, so Katsuki could avoid all that mess. The only person in the common room was Hitoshi Shinso, but he’d likely stayed on campus with his adoptive parents, Aizawa and Mic. He was reading some shonen manga with his legs kicked up on the table. 

“Holy shit, you actually look rested, Blasty. I thought you were joining the eye bags club for a few weeks there.”

“Shut the fuck up. I’m not some lame-ass insomniac like you. I take care of my skin.”

“Hey, the eye bags are a fashion choice. You’re just jealous I can rock them and you can’t.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” Once he kicked off his shoes into his little cubby by the door with everyone else’s, Katsuki shuffled his slippered feet towards the stairs. 

“Aizawa’s ordering pizza, don’t worry about cooking!” Hitoshi called after him. Katsuki flipped him the middle finger as his only acknowledgement. 

Good. Katsuki could just crash in his room, forget the last few days happened, and maybe get ready to actually attend class tomorrow. The very idea made him sink to his stomach. 

Katsuki flipped the lock on his door, threw his bags on the ground, and fell face first onto his bed with an audibly annoyed groan forced out into the mattress. This whole situation was so stupid! Katsuki knew he didn’t deserve all the luck and opportunity he’d been handed in life. He knew that. He didn’t need some quirk to make him some soldier for good. That’s what he’d been trying to be his whole life, what he was striving to become after all the crimes he’d committed. 

The memories haunted him. Katsuki had nightmares he never told anyone about, not even his parents, not even Inui-san. Of course, Inui-san had tried to get Katsuki to open up, but the stubborn teen wasn’t letting him get anywhere. One more thing Katsuki was doing to hurt himself, one more ‘harmless’ way he punished himself for the violence he’d once given out to others. Katsuki absolutely did not need some stuck up bitch pointing out his flaws and trying to fix them. 

He was doing a damn good job stuffing them all down his throat, thank you very much. 

“Baku-babe!” Mina pounded on his door. “Dinner’s here! Come out, you grumpy grouch, and participate in class culture for once.”

Katsuki groaned again. “Shut up!” She didn’t walk away. “Yeah - whatever, fine.”

“Awwww, you actually sound rested!”

Seriously, was it that noticeable he’d been sleeping so poorly (or not at all)? Probably. His crash last night had actually been the most restful sleep Katsuki had gotten in several weeks, and he actually felt rested this morning, even if his shock of waking up tempered his energy a bit. But apparently, his usual crassness being just that little bit softer made it obvious to his classmates he’d actually relaxed over break, instead of working himself to the bone, like he usually would. 

The common room was busy when he got back downstairs. Iida and Momo, as their class reps, were trying to organize the chaos into lines to dish out pizzas from two giant stacks on the kitchen counter. Their more reserved classmates like Tokoyama and Koda were off in a corner, waiting their turn without pushing through the fray of hungry hero students trying to get their three slices. Kirishima tucked an arm over his shoulder and pulled Katsuki into the line. 

“How was your break, man?”

“Eh-” Katsuki sighed. “Fine, I guess.”

“Just fine? You get all your homework done? Where’d you train?”

“I didn’t have homework. Finished it all before we left, except for that English paper. Finished it last night.” Momo handed him a plate with a few slices of cheese pizza, which he took with a nod. “I didn’t train.”

The whole room stopped. Almost every eye looked up, half of them with pizza frozen in their mouths or hands. Kirishima had this look of pure horror on his face, his arm even dropped from Katsuki’s shoulder as if touching them might physically cause him pain. 

“What? I’m not allowed to take a week off once in a while?”

“Uhh- yeah, man, of course. Sorry. I think you took us off guard. The great Bakugo doesn’t do breaks, that’s all. Never expected you to take a whole week off training.”

“Whatever. Get over it.” Katsuki shouldered past his redheaded friend and the room went back to its mid-range noise level once he’d brushed the subject off. There were a few people like Mina and Sero who shot him worried glances while they ate, but otherwise he was left alone.

A few students filtered in after him, but he wasn’t really paying attention until once more the muscles in his neck seized and  pain rippled down his arm. The slice of pizza in his hand slapped back to the plate. 

Protect him! Danger is near! Stop it! 

End it. End his suffering. You’re the problem!

Two voices bickered between his ears; one begging him to save his charge, the other barking that Katsuki was the danger. 

A bright laugh drew Katsuki’s eyes up from the table to find Izuku had walked into the room to grab dinner. Ochako was hanging off his arm like a love-sick puppy. Izuku didn’t apparently (to everyone else) realize she had a crush on him, but everyone else saw it, gossiped about how ‘hopeless’ Izuku was when it came to love. But Katsuki knew that wasn’t true. Izuku was far more intelligent than any of them gave him credit for. He knew exactly how Ochako felt, he just wasn’t feeding into it because he wasn’t into girls. 

Izuku and Katsuki had come out to each other as kids, before the bullying started. It was one thing they’d wordlessly agreed to never attack. They had these weird unspoken rules all throughout their lives that had never quite made sense, not in the context of Katsuki’s bullying of Izuku. But all these years, they’d never once faltered in their faith to those promises and rules they’d made up as kids. 

You know how to do it, don’t you? 

Protect him !

Katsuki winced at the shouting voice behind him, reinforcing the swelling drive to move his body, to do something. The feeling had settled into his bones when he’d first thought of Izuku after he’d been hit with the quirk, but he’d pushed it away to let his guilt take over for a while. Now, all he could taste on his tongue was this nagging need to get up and do exactly what the quirk was telling him to do - protect Izuku. 

It was telling him to protect Izuku from his greatest enemy, from the very thing that had harmed him most, from violence and cruelty and the guilty party of this whole nightmarish mess. 

The quirk was telling him to protect Izuku from Katsuki. 

“Hey Kacchan.” Izuku settled down across from him with Ochako beside him on one side and Tsu on the other. “I hope you had a good break. I heard you didn’t even train. I’m glad you got some rest.”

Do it. The voice whispered right against his ear, Katsuki swore he felt it. Protect him. Danger is near. It’s here!

Katuski jumped up, a gasp trapped in his throat. The compulsion to move, to fix the problem, to save Izuku from this danger sitting right across from him, quickly began eating Katsuki alive. 

“Kacchan? Are you okay?”

“Blasty?” Hitoshi asked from somewhere behind him. 

Katsuki’s chair must have nearly knocked him out when Katsuki jumped up. Somehow, no matter how hard he tried, Katsuki couldn’t get his tongue to work. It was like being trapped on the sidewalk at the hands of that woman again. But he wasn’t helpless this time. He could move. His body obeyed him this time. Katsuki removed himself from the situation, as if that might help. Sadly, it didn’t. 

The voices chased him up the stairs to his dorm room, screaming at him, howling their rage. The longer he thought about the voices, the worse they became. Katsuki grabbed his head. His shoulders slammed into the wall as he finally made it back to his room, his feet unsteady, he was on his knees again, then the floor was too close. 

PROTECT HIM!

END IT!

DANGER, YOU’RE A DANGER! DESTROY THE DANGER!

It didn’t matter if he ripped out his hearing aids, the voices were inside of his mind. The ringing from ripping the little devices from his ears only made the whole thing worse, but Katsuki couldn’t find them anymore. He was rolling on the ground, clawing at the sides of his skull from the aching screech that had become an axe splitting his skull open. Nothing he did gave him any relief. Bending himself in half to press his forehead onto the carpet, pressing on his temples or the back of his head, nothing worked. He wanted to claw his own skull open. When he pulled back his hands, he found blood. Maybe he’d done just that. 

END IT. REMOVE THE DANGER.

Remove the danger. Katsuki could do that. He could do that. He could protect Izuku. This was one thing he could do to make things right, maybe it was the only thing he could do.

Katsuki crawled to his desk under the weight of the voices cheering him on inside his mind. His legs slowly regained their function. He pulled himself up to his feet to search his desk. Papers, notebooks, books, everything went flying in his rabid need for something…something sharp. Both side drawers were upended onto the desk, both hands splayed through the mess until he found it. He found it! A utility knife he kept buried in his desk, usually just for the very few arts and crafts they did in school science classes or to open a box his parents sent him. Tonight, it would be used for something different, something more important. 

The blade clicked open, but Katsuki didn’t hear it. Instead, each click ratcheted up through his arm. He stared at the silver blade for several long seconds. The voices kept a steady, pounding pulse right behind his eyes, urging him forward, cheering him on for being the hero, for saving the one thing he loved most in this world. If he did this, Izuku would be safe. Izuku would never be hurt again, because his greatest enemy would be destroyed.

Katsuki lifted the blade to his throat, only for a strong, scarred hand to grab his wrist. 

“Kacchan.” Izuku was there, in his face, one hand on Katsuki’s wrist, the other cupping his face. Katsuki had to read his lips. “Kacchan stop. What are you doing?”

“I- I- have to.” He gasped out. 

His eyes flicked around the room, finding several pairs of eyes at the door. Mina’s were full of tears but Kirishima held her back by the arms. She was screaming, maybe. Ochako was halfway between Izuku and the door, one arm outstretched, with Iida right behind her. Everything was slogging through time like they were underwater. His classmates were moving but a centimeter every few seconds. Izuku grabbed his face to pull him back. 

“Why?”

“You’re not safe. I have to protect you. I have to save you.”

“Kacchan, please, give me the knife.”

His fingers tightened around the blade handle. Izuku’s tightened around his wrist in response. BlackWhip swirled around their hands, slowly creeping up the blade like a protective shield. The voices screamed louder. Katsuki must have cried out. He must have. It hurt so much. It hurt, and he couldn’t make it stop. He had to. He had to make it stop. 

“Please! I have to do this! It won’t stop! The voices won’t shut up! I have to protect you!”

Izuku grabbed him by the back of his head, pulled them together until the blade was pressed between their necks, a threat to both of them. It only made things worse. The voices were in a riot, a raging dance on every synapse of Katsuki’s brain. Tears poured down his face, over the back of Izuku’s shirt. His free hand clutched his best friend’s side as he wailed the words over and over. He had to protect Izuku. He had to stop this, all of this. 

“Sorry, kid.” Aizawa’s face appeared, enunciating his words slowly. He gently cupped the side of Katsuki’s head as something sharp pricked the teen’s shoulder. Drugs , his mind supplied. Aizawa had drugged him. 

Katsuki’s body went limp. But sound returned when Izuku carefully placed his hearing aids back in and held his face. He didn’t pass out, but he was too sluggish to do anything. The voices were there, beneath him on the carpet, but they’d quieted down, finally, finally he could breathe again. 

“Kacchan, talk to me, please. What happened?”

Katsuki shook his head. “‘M sorry…” He muttered. For a second, he considered not saying anything else. Speaking was hard. His tongue was so heavy. But maybe Izuku could figure this out, and make it stop. So he finally caved, for the first time, to his need for help. “White Knight.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“It’s a quirk.” Aizawa explained. “Move, Midoriya.” They swapped places. Their teacher grabbed Katsuki’s face, stared him down eye to eye, and activated his quirk. Katsuki gasped. Relief spread through his blood like a balm to a burn. “He’s been attacked. Hitoshi!”

“Here, dad!”

“Bakugo, can you hear me?” He nodded to his teacher with a soft ‘mhm’. “You’re going to answer Hitoshi. If he doesn’t brainwash you, the quirk will just come back, full force, when I deactivate mine. Can you do this?” Again, he nodded. “Hitoshi, order him to ignore white Knight.”

“ Katsuki? ”

“Yea-”

He was gone, adrift on a familiar quirk that held him with warm hands and a friendly embrace. Everyone gave Brainwashing a bad rep. Floating away on the waves of Shinso’s quirk wasn’t so bad. It was almost…peaceful. 

“ Katsuki. Ignore White Knight. Stay in a relaxed, half asleep state until I say otherwise. ”

The voices didn’t come back when Aizawa’s bright red eyes left him. They stayed gone, but Katsuki couldn’t move himself. Between the drugs and Shinso’s quirk, he was boneless and his eyes were barely even open enough to watch the movements around him, too fast. Everyone was moving too fast. Or was he moving too slow?

Izuku refused to let go of his hand. Katsuki didn’t want him to. He had to keep Izuku safe. He had to protect him, but right now, he could ignore that and just rest, just this once.

~

There were only a few things Shouta took with incredible seriousness; sleep, his students' lives and grades, and mental health. The rest…eh, he could manage it with sarcasm and caffeine. Sitting in the infirmary office with Nedzu, Recovery Girl, and one of his students who just stopped another from cutting his own throat hit on two out of three of those listed items, and Shouta was not having a very good day. He’d left Hizashi to watch over Bakugo with Hitoshi managing the situation with his quirk. Something had gone horribly wrong on the first day back from break, and he desperately hated the idea of having to be this serious on the first day. 

“What did he say to you before we got there?” Shouta finally asked. Recovery Girl had given them a rundown of the quirk a moment ago, explaining how it worked. White Knight was a villain the underground heroes had been chasing for several years, but she didn’t make herself known enough to incur limelight hero attention. Shouta was familiar with her work, but this situation didn’t make sense for what he knew of it.

“He said he had to…he had to protect me. He said I’m not safe, that the voices wouldn’t stop, that he had to save me.”

“Oh dear.” Chiyo muttered. 

“What?”

“It’s him.” She gestured to Midoriya. “He’s the cause of all this.”

“What did I do?”

“Nothing, Midoriya. But we know the holder of this quirk can view the past to assess a person’s moral quality as a part of her quirk. We all know your sordid history with Bakugo." To his credit, the kid only squirmed in his chair, he didn’t look away. “She did this to punish him, as she has to many other victims Aizawa has investigated. She saw your past and, as with many others, used her quirk on him.”

“The quirk forces you to protect what you love most. She just didn’t realize…the reason for her punishment and the thing Bakugo loves…are the same thing.” Shouta sighed. “Damnit.”

“What…are you- are you saying Kacchan loves me?”

Chiyo smirked. “Oh a bit more than that. He’s in love. That’s how it works. Only love makes you that damn crazy.”

“And that damn stupid.” Shouta grunted. “Why didn’t he say he’d been attacked?”

“Shouta - the boy has more pride than Endeavor. Do you really think he’d say anything if he thought he could outsmart or outlast it without help?”

“Mmmm, true.”

“So, I don’t really want to address the whole ‘Kacchan loves me’ thing right now. How do we fix this? How do we resolve or end the quirk? He can’t stay under Toshi’s quirk forever.”

“I’m afraid that’s up to you, dear.”

“Huh?”

Shouta pushed off the desk and gestured for Midoriya to head out with him. The nurse bowed her head, knowing he would handle the situation from here. Shouta was all too familiar with how to break this damn quirk, and sadly, it was never an easy task. More than a few times, he’d failed, and people lost their lives. Hopefully this time, that won't happen.

“Forgiveness is the only way to resolve the quirk. White Knight does this as punishment to those she deems villainous or morally corrupt in some way. She saw Bakugo’s past, the things he did that I know you won’t admit to.” The pair of them had only told Shouta a few things, and likely even less to their on-campus therapist, but he knew enough to understand why she’d done this. “You have to forgive him.”

“But Sensei…I already have. I forgave Kacchan years ago. I forgave him every single day, even while it was still happening. You don’t…you don’t get over that kind of thing, and there’s no forgetting it. But if I forgive him every day, then the burden isn’t mine to bear.”

Shouta slid the infirmary door open with a sigh. Bakugo was lying in bed, blissfully unaware of the world while inside of Hitoshi’s quirk. Hizashi was leaning on the far window while Hitoshi stayed by Bakugo’s side. 

“You’re right. That burden is on Bakugo’s shoulders.” His husband and son looked up as they walked in. “And right now, that burden is killing him. So I need you to make him understand that he’s forgiven. That’s how you stop this. You both have to let go of the past. If he doesn’t forgive himself, I don’t think he’ll ever believe you’ve forgiven him.”

Shouta pulled up a chair, checked Bakugo’s restraints and IV line to ensure he was still on heavy dose quirk suppressants, then gestured for his family to leave. 

“But how do I do that?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. That’s between the two of you. Hitoshi, release your quirk, he should be safe here. Midoriya - you can do this. Only you can. We’ll be right outside.”

“O-okay.”

~

Katsuki slowly came back to himself and a silence he wasn’t accustomed to. Even on an average day, there was always a constant ringing and buzzing sort of annoyance in his ears, though Recovery Girl had told him before that most of that was due to the constant trauma he caused on his own ears from his quirk. Half of it wasn’t even real, just auditory hallucinations and tinnitus. But waking up to the calm quiet of the infirmary happened to be a nice change of pace. 

“Kacchan?”

“Izuku?” Katsuki rolled his head to the side. Things spun for a moment. Oh, he was still drugged. That’s probably why he didn’t hear any voices right now. There was also the matter of…restraints. They’d tied him to the damn bed. “Oh…I’m still a danger.”

“No. No, Kacchan. You’re not a danger to me.”

“Yes, I am. I’ll always be a danger to you. Don’t you get it?” He jerked his hands up as far as the reins holding down would allow. “This quirk…in my mind, it's like I’m colliding with myself. I can’t fight the urge to do everything in my power to save you…and that means protecting you from me.”

“Kacchan, there’s something I need to know.”

Katsuki slammed his fists back onto the bed. “What, Izuku? What?! Why are you even here? Don’t you get it? I’ve always hurt you. That’s all I do! That's all I am!”

“Stop.” 

Izuku’s voice startled Katsuki, not because of its force, but because he’d managed to make it so soft, Katsuki almost missed him speaking. He leaned over the bed rail and took Katsuki’s hand. He tried to fight it at first, but Izuku was the one thing in this world that Katsuki couldn’t fight. 

“I need to know why you can’t forgive yourself.”

Katsuki blinked several times, as if that could clear his ears somehow. “What?”

“Kacchan, all those things you did to me, all the things you said. I forgave you years ago. I forgave it every day, and I keep forgiving it every single day. But you’re stubborn, you are so damn stubborn, Kacchan. You can’t forgive yourself, and you’ll never believe that I’ve forgiven you - will you?”

“How can I?!” Katsuki dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling and calm himself down. He clutched Izuku’s hand while holding back his own tears. “Izuku…the things I did to you are unforgivable. It doesn’t matter if you forgive me. It doesn’t matter if I forgive myself. I don’t deserve to be forgiven. Can you honestly look at me and tell me you’ve forgiven it all somehow? Can you?”

The room returned to silence for a while. Katsuki didn’t want Izuku to argue, because truthfully, he was terrified that Izuku probably could convince him to forgive himself. Katsuki didn’t want to forgive himself. He didn’t deserve forgiveness. He’d do anything to keep Izuku safe, that was all that mattered. So long as Izuku was safe then maybe he could redeem something inside himself. 

“Is the class okay?”

Izuku twitched. “Uh- not great. They saw it, Kacchan. They saw you put that box cutter to your throat. Mina is…” He rolled his jaw a bit, gnawing on his thoughts so to speak. “She was a wreck when I left. And then ‘Chako tried to…comfort me and I snapped.”

“You? You snapped?”

Izuku choked out a dry laugh. “I know, right? I have to wonder if that shocked them more than you did. But I’m tired, Kacchan. I’m tired of being the butt of the joke because they all think I’m too stupid to realize she’s got a crush on me, and she clings to me like- like-” He sighed. “Nevermind. This isn’t about me.”

“Pretty sure it is, though.” 

“Kacchan…”

Katsuki put his hands up, again, not far. “Well, it is. That’s really what you came here to ask, isn’t it? Not about my ability to forgive myself, you want to know if I love you - because you know how the quirk works.”

“Uhm, yeah. Yeah, I guess that was on my list of questions.”

Katsuki pressed his lips into a thin line and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He had to admit it, didn’t he? He had to, because what else was this all for if not Katsuki’s feelings for Izuku. That’s what the quirk was, anyway. That didn’t make it any easier to say aloud. 

“I don’t know when it started or…when things changed. It’s like…one day I just looked at you and your face was-” He cleared his throat. “I swore your smile was brighter than the sun. I know it’s crazy, it’s stupid. I just started seeing you in this new light and I’ve always wanted to catch up to you, and I think…I think I did, and it scared me, but also-”

“-Felt good.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it did.”

A blush crept across Izuku’s face. He smiled like the sun itself had ripped open the ceiling just to watch them, and somehow, Katsuki’s chest felt lighter. The constant thrash of emotions simmered down from the warmth of his best friend’s hand still tangled in his. 

“I know this is hard, Kacchan. I know it’s so hard…but I really want you to forgive yourself. I don’t care if it takes forever. I want you to stop blaming yourself for the way we were raised. I know you had fault, we both know that, but you can’t shoulder the whole thing. It’s not yours to carry, please, put it down.”

“I don’t think I can.”

Izuku scooted closer so he could cup Katsuki’s face and press their forehead together. “I know you can. You can do anything. My Kacchan can do absolutely anything he puts his mind to.” Their faces slipped together, like puzzle pieces finally fitting exactly where they belonged. Their lips brushed each other as Izuku spoke, not quite a kiss, but the whisper of one, the promise Katsuki wanted to take with open arms. “Forgiving yourself should be easy, right?”

It should be. It really should be. Izuku was fucking right. Katsuki could absolutely do anything he put his mind to. But here he was, mouth hung open with words he didn’t want to say, words that would tell Izuku no, he didn’t deserve that. Thankfully, Izuku cut off his thoughts by unstrapping him from the bed. 

“What-what are you doing? Izuku-”

“Forgive yourself, Kacchan.”

“Izuku-”

“I forgive you.”

“Stop.”

“I forgive you, Kacchan. I have forgiven you everyday for the last ten years. I forgive you for everything you have done, everything you have said. I for gave you. I forgive you. I will forgive you every single day of our lives until you can learn to forgive yourself.”

“Izuku, please…”

The shorter teen climbed into the bed beside him, grabbed both sides of his face again. This time, it wasn’t just a brush of lips, it was mouth to mouth, a kiss like Izuku might resuscitate Katsuki’s wounded soul, like he might unbreak Katsuki’s shattered wings, like he might unwrap the barbed wire around Katsuki’s heart. Katsuki melted into it. Every single muscle in his body released its tension. 

Izuku wrapped both hands around the back of his head, pulled his face up until his neck was stretched almost painfully, Katsuki chased him, let him loom over the hospital bed, he wrapped his arms around Izuku’s waist to hold onto the very last thing he believed possible; forgiveness. Katsuki clung to it, he allowed himself to believe it was real for the first time. 

A painful click snapped through his brain. Izuku must have felt the way Katsuki twitched, or winced, or choked on his own breath. Something changed, their kiss broke. Panting each other’s air, they were eye to eye, and that damn thousand-watt smile was devouring Katsuki from the inside out. 

“It’s gone.” Izuku gasped. Katsuki nodded slowly. “It’s gone. You believe me.”

“It’s gone. I believe you.” Carefully, he brushed a few stray curls from Izuku’s face. “You’ve forgiven me. Somehow. Madly, stupidly, insanely. I believe you.”

Izuku kissed him again, and the world disappeared. The voices were gone, Katsuki was free. 

Maybe free to one day forgive himself completely.