Chapter Text
It happened one bar crawl
Day 28 of spring session.
He stayed. I felt like dancing, he stayed, he stayed, he stayed. He really really stayed.
He didn't run away.
Even after seeing the altar for Mimihagi, he stayed. He told me he wouldn't let me die so easily. I wanted to leap, to jump for joy.
My heart feels so full.
I feel his warm eyes watching me now, his body is so close I can feel the heat. There's a new softness to his smile, it's only for me. I know it.
My illness doesn't scare him, the knowledge of Mimihagi, forever dwelling silently inside me doesn't scare him. I'm ecstatic.
We got invited to attend a bar hopping birthday party. Usually I decline, citing that I have to study to make up for lost time, and I do, but I really wanted to go out with them….with him.
I'm not a big drinker, nothing like the legendary status of Shunsui's caliber, but I can hold my own.
Why did he seem to not be as drunk as he actually should have been? Is it a super power?
I don't remember how we got home. But I was tucked into bed, with him snoring lightly beside me.
I need to tell him how I feel. But will that drive him off? Will that be the thing that scares him?
I hope not.
I love him.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Entry: blah blah.
Time is meaningless in his company. I feel more lucid, more insightful around him.
He seemed so surprised yet excited when I told him I wouldn't let him die so easily. Have people really failed him so badly? I mean I understand his parents and friends from his home staying by his side, but do others actually flee when he has those episodes?
My first instinct is to hold him upright so he doesn't injure himself. What kind of horrible people have left him alone to deal with that?
…and the whole Mimihagi thing, we all have our inner secrets. Some are just darker than others.
On the lighter side…we got invited to a bar hopping birthday party for one of our classmates. Coed event. I was sure Jushiro would decline like he usually does, but he surprised me. Is he going just for me? I don't care, he's going and that's good.
By the time we hit the third bar, he's pretty drunk. He does handle it well, but I think he got caught up in the celebration. Several others have already left to wobble their way back to their rooms.
I have a habit of actually not drinking as much as people assume I have. I save that for other times. Mostly I need to keep my wits about me. I listen, I hear, I learn. It's something Yama-jii taught me. He told me once, [Use your ability to an advantage. If you appear asleep, too drunk or very foolish, people will overlook and underestimate you. They will say things that should not be said out loud. Set the trap.] I'm basically a spy for Yama-jii.
Poor Jushiro.
I was standing by a window, watching as two classmates started toward the academy. Next thing I know his arms are wrapped around me, face buried in my back. I knew he was saying something because I felt the vibration. But still my eyes and mouth flew open wide with surprise.
When he's drunk he gets emotional and clingy, I should have remembered that, but we normally don't show that kind of affection to each other in public.
I would, but I worry about his reputation. Mine’s trash anyway, but he's so pure and light.
He's the sunshine to my darkness. My everything.
I truly do love him, but can't tell him because I don't want to scare him off.
I don't want to be alone. Not again.
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See this story for reference
https://archiveofourown.org/works/69816511