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Jeremy was having a rough day. His boss kept bringing him up this damn mountain to plunge to his death over and over again in dumb fucking vehicles which THERE WERENT ENOUGH OF THANK YOU VERY MUCH. So, naturally, Jeremy wanted to go home, lie in bed, maybe write a song or two, who knows.
Then he saw you.
You, with your red and blue coat and aura of adventure. You, with the air of confidence like a lioness after a successful hunt or a white dad who just got a strike in bowling. He saw you and his eyes immediately widened with joy. He gasped, making a small, gleeful noise, and tried not to run towards you. But he did. Absolutely beautiful, he thought, getting more and more excited with each pounding step across the peak of the mountain. When Jeremy reached you, he only had enough time to blink before his boss wanted him back again. Jeremy groaned and turned back, wondering when he could finally be with you.
Jeremy got his opportunity around four in the afternoon after falling off a bike with a handful of other loons. His boss gave him permission, and he ran towards you, grinning widely when he finally reached you after a long day of pain. "I, I..." was all he managed to get out before his boss had him bring you to the ledge where the loons have been jumping off of since that morning. Jeremy gently eased you over to the ledge, being careful not to hurt you. "I, I..." he said again, eagerly awaiting his boss' signal. The boss spoke slowly and clearly, "On your mark, get set, GO!"
Jeremy laughed and slammed on the gas. He felt your tires skid and roll under him before the feeling of air as he drove you over the ledge. He finally finished his statement before landing on the jagged mountainside, "I AM MONSTER TRUCK!"