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Futilely he swiped his sleeve across his face, as if the tears wouldn’t replace themselves in an instant. In fact, the more Stormz tried to stop crying, the harder the tears would flow. And across from him, just watching, stood his best friend, who he had backstabbed far more times than they deserved. Far more times than they should have tolerated. But Stormz would insist to himself later, as Dumb did as well, that it wasn’t what led to this moment. That this wasn’t his fault.
Truthfully, he saw such a thing coming. He just didn’t think it would be so soon. He just didn’t think it would be now.
“So that’s it,” Stormz huffed through his tears, casting his gaze at the ground, snow fluttering from the clouds above and piling at his feet. “After all of this effort I’ve been going through to get you Ender, right as I finally get it, you’re just leaving.”
He didn’t mean to blame Dumb, really. He couldn’t. Yet it felt like his mind was convincing him to try and be mad at her, to try and hate her for leaving here and now. But he couldn’t. Oh, he never could.
And Dumb knew it was just a false attempt to put on another strong and angry face.
So they smiled. “We both know that’s not what you’re mad about.”
Seething, Stormz buried his face in his sleeve again, trying and failing further to quiet his sobs.
“And besides,” Dumb continued. “You chased after that without even asking if that’s what I’d want.”
“I thought you’d want another chance,” Stormz said, pitifully, broken. “I wanted to give it to you, you deserved one.”
“But that’s what you wanted. Not me.”
Stormz almost couldn’t tell what he meant, exactly—if he was referring to wanting another chance for Dumb, or reaching inside of him to say that it was him who wanted another chance. And maybe, he wouldn’t know.
“Besides,” Stormz lowered his arm and glanced at them, and a light glistened in their eyes. “Ender looks better on you anyway.”
Hearing those words, Stormz couldn’t help but scoff and laugh at the same time. He hadn’t really looked at himself since obtaining Ender, not caring much to take in the sight of the purple and black horns that sprouted from his head, nor the slight purple glow to his eyes. It didn’t matter how it looked on him, because he was going to give it to Dumb.
“I wouldn’t say that much,” he sniffled. “It would have looked just fine on you.”
“But you’ll use it better.”
“We’ll see if I will.”
Dumb shook his head, glancing off to the side at the starry sky. “I know you will. Trust me.”
Stormz sighed, and his breath shuddered with tears again.
He thought back to the other day, where well before time for the ritual, the two chose to relax a bit. He thought about the warm sun, casting its rays on both of them, in contrast to the freezing snow they stood beneath now. He thought back to the sight of Dumb laying with her eyes closed, opening them only to look at Stormz as he cast a shadow over her, white locks falling just an inch or two away from her face and framing his perfectly as he leaned over her. He thought about the way she smiled, and he wanted to freeze time in that moment and never move from that spot. Dumb reached up and cupped his cheek for a moment, fingers snaking into the back of his hair to pull him down with her, guiding his head to her lay on her shoulder, another hand on his back beckoning him to lay down. He just wanted this—the two of them together, with not another thought about anything else in the world, the sun shining down on them. They could be together and nothing had to get in the way of their peace.
But even in those moments, in that moment where they shared the warmth of the sun together, he cast a shadow on his friend just to have his perfect view of her. And even still, she pulled him into her arms.
Just as the memory began to close in his mind, Dumb had turned towards the ledge to the right of them. Stormz snapped his head up, heart rate picking back up as it set in—this was about to be goodbye.
His eyes welled up again as he frantically reached out, grabbing onto Dumb’s sleeve with the desperation of a man about to plead for his life. Dumb turned his head, eyes falling with nothing but bittersweet pity on him. Stormz opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a stifled sob as he broke down again, hand shaking but still keeping a tight grasp on the fabric as he fell to his knees.
Sighing, Dumb knelt in front of him, hand finding its way onto Stormz’s cheek again. They lifted his head, and gave him another smile.
“You’ll be okay, Stormz,” they said, wiping away the tears that would only continue falling. “I know you will. You’re strong enough for this.”
“I wanted you to be strong with me ,” Stormz choked out. “I don’t want you to go. Please.”
Dumb leaned forward until his forehead pressed against Stormz’s. “I’m sorry. You know I have to.”
The fabric of Dumb’s shirt balled up in Stormz’s fist as he held onto them for dear life. Dumb slowly moved their head to the side, letting Stormz’s fall onto their shoulder at the same time. In one last attempt to offer him warmth, they wrapped their arms around him, even though they would be ripping it away and banishing him back to the cold once it was over. But for now, for just a moment, they hugged him. One last time, before they would have to meet again in another universe.
“I’m sorry, Stormz,” he said, voice dripping with remorse. Truly, deeply, from the depths of his soul. “I really am. You know I don’t want to leave you, but I have to leave this place. Even if you’re still in it. I wish I could tell you that I’ll stay, but we both know I can’t do that. Not even for you. Anything else I would do for you in a heartbeat.”
Stormz let out a bitter laugh through his sobs. “How cruel do you have to be to tell me that—you’d do anything for me but stay by my side.”
Dumb smiled painfully. “I know. But I guess leaving is always a little cruel, isn’t it? Consider it revenge for everything you’ve done to me, if you want.”
Breath rattled by his crying, Stormz sighed against Dumb’s neck, burying his face in the warmth. “I guess I do deserve it. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” fingernails raked up and down Stormz’s back. “Just remember that.”
Stormz let his eyes fall shut, wanting to hold onto this moment for as long as he could. It couldn’t last forever. But maybe, just maybe, he could open his eyes again, and it all could have been a dream.
But he knew, really, that would never be the case.
Slowly, the warmth began to pull away from him. Dumb nuzzled against Stormz’s forehead one last time before standing up, pushing through the ache in his chest as Stormz remained on the ground.
Pausing in front of the ledge again, though, he sighed. “Stand up, Stormz,” he said, sympathetically. “I want you to look at me when I leave.”
For a moment, Stormz felt too exhausted to stand. But he knew that if he sat there any longer, Dumb would pull him to his feet himself, and he didn’t want to have to rely on his best friend once more like that. Not when all that was asked of him was to get up, to face Dumb as he left him for the last time.
Let me see your face once more before I go. That’s all that Dumb was asking.
So he sucked in a deep breath, the cold air stinging his throat, and he pushed himself off the ground. He stood across from Dumb, squaring his shoulders in an attempt to give him one last brave look, even if they both knew he was just trying to conceal the weakness he felt in that moment. The vulnerability of being so stricken with grief for someone he hadn’t lost yet, who he was about to lose. Or, maybe, he lost Dumb ages ago. He only had to have it set in now.
And there, with eyes soaked with tears, freezing to his cheeks, he stood as proudly as he could for his friend. Even if, truly, there couldn’t be an ounce of pride found in his being, as he stood there almost resembling a crying child, who begged not to be separated from his friend when it came time to depart after their time together.
And Dumb could only smile, smile fondly for his friend, and let that be the last image of him in Stormz’s mind. Something soft. Something sorry. Something with love.
Because really, it was a final act of love from both of them to each other. For Dumb to leave him, and for Stormz to let him go.
And so, Dumb smiled at him for a moment, before turning to face him fully, and letting his body tilt backwards off the cliff.
Only then, after their body hit the ground, did Stormz let himself fall apart once more, fists slamming into the snow as he let out a cry that would be heard by none.