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It's late on a Friday night and Wenlang should be out, enjoying too expensive liquor and and a nice meal, maybe finally see that movie he's been planning on catching.
Instead, he is dealing with Hua Yong's messes. Again.
Apparently, he wants to sell the cancer drug to Shaoyou's company after all and Wenlang has been tasked with the thankless job of arranging for that. Why the stupid Enigma can't just come clean with his beloved Alpha and give him his father's life as an engagement gift, Wenlang will never understand.
But of course, Hua Yong cannot make it that easy. That'd be normal, sweet even. Doing nice things for the people you love.
No. Hua Yong has to make his intended jump through three additional hoops that Wenlang needs to set up for him, including a fake bidding war that Shaoyou will win at the eleventh hour.
Wenlang rifles through the papers in his home office and mentally says goodbye to movie night and liquor. Ever since Hua Yong has made himself a more permanent (unwelcomed) presence in his life, Wenlang barely has time to breathe, let alone go to movies.
And now, he's missing the stupid annual report. It was here just yesterday. I knows he saw it because it was Gao Tu who handed it to him, looking pale and withdrawn, as he does every time that toxic Omega of his leeches all his energy. Wenlang can tell from the suffocating stench of sage hanging around him, masking his lovely, unobtrusive Beta scent that is all Gao Tu.
Wenlang hates those times. His friend looks dead on his feet. He's spreading himself too thin between work and a partner who makes absolutely unreasonable demands on his time.
If Wenlang had anything to say about this, Gao Tu would never... he shoves that thought to the side. It's useless. He's made his intentions more than clear. All through uni and then when he hired him at his company, gave him the job of right hand man, paid him twice what everybody else is making – through it still seems never enough, given the hovel Gao Tu is forced to live in because that Omega drains all of his funds.
The point is: Wenlang does not know how much clearer he can get without going down to one knee and so far, Gao Tu has never returned any of his advances, staying loyal to a person who so clearly doesn't deserve him.
It makes Wenlang mad.
It's one thing for Gao T to not want him. Incomprehensible, maybe, Wenlang would like to think that he could hardly do better than an S-class Alpha with a fortune 500 company. But be that as it may, at least Gao Tu could have chosen someone who's good. Someone who treasures him at least half as much as Wenlang would.
Instead, he's saddled with that tick that is literally sucking the life out of him and all Wenlang can do is watch.
Sometimes, when it's an especially bad day, when Gao Tu looks especially worn-thin and exhausted, it bursts out of him: his disdain for the choices Gao Tu made.
It always ends badly.
Whenever Wenlang brings up the Omega, Gao Tu gets quiet and distant, doesn't meet Wenlang's gaze any more and retreats as quickly as he can.
So Wenlang tries to bite his tongue. The last thing he wants is to chase him away. It's just hard to see his best friend suffer, even if Gao Tu is the one choosing that suffering.
It's also not fair. Wenlang should be allowed to help, should be allowed to whisk him away, out of reach of everyone who tries to cause him trouble, and spoil him until Gao Tu stops looking like a ghost of himself.
If not as his mate, then as a friend. Wenlang would be fine with that. ... well, he would not fine. Friendship is not what he wants. Or rather, it's not all he wants. But he could learn to be content with it if that's all Gao Tu has to offer.
If only he'd stop looking like he'll keel over before hitting thirty... Wenlang forces himself to stop worrying about his friend and secretary and start worrying about his boss. Hua Yong has a way to get very unreasonable very fast and it's made ten times worse when Shaoyou is involved. Wenlang still vividly remembers his demand not to fight back and let the other Alpha, an S-class Alpha more than capable of rivalling Wenlang's power, have a go at him unhindered.
He goes through all his piles of documents again and then, even though he knows it's not going to be there, looks in his bag. The report remains missing. He shoots Gao Tu, who is probably long home, cuddling up with his terrible Omega, a quick message to have a copy of the report on his desk asap, and closes his laptop.
Crap.
This means he will not get the finalised bid to Hua Yong until Monday and that means this psycho will be displeased. Wenlang has long since learned that it is preferable to be on Hua Yong's good side at all times.
Shit.
Outside, thunder rumbles, the weather painting an appropriately threatening background for Wenlang's sour mood. But there's not much he can do now except go to bed and have an early start tomorrow morning, maybe pop by the office and see if he can find the document himself. Gao Tu is so organised, maybe Wenlang can manage. Maybe he can call him and ... no. It's the weekend and Gao Tu desperately needs some rest. It's doubtful he will get any, given his terrible partner, but when he shows up pale and exhausted on Monday, at least Wenlang will not be the reason for that by being as unreasonable a boss as Hua Yong.
He leaves his office to go to the building's home gym. He's been sitting all day, worrying in circles. It's time to dispel some energy.
When he comes back from the gym, the storm outside has picked up, but inside, he's has calmed down. With his muscles pleasantly sore and relaxed from a hard workout and subsequent hot shower, it's easier to accept that what will be, will be and let himself turn in for the night with a rerun of his comfort action show.
His doorbell rings.
Wenlang frowns at it like it made a mistake.
But it did not and the little screen lights up to show who's outside the building.
Wenlang's pulse picks up. It's Gao Tu. Dressed in his old leather jacket that he picks whenever he's outside the suit and that should have been replaced for a more modern model ages ago. He's soaking wet.
Wenlang hurries over to let him in and then stands by the door worrying the whole time it takes the Beta to ride the elevator up to his apartment.
What is Gao Tu doing here?
Trouble at home? Financial issues? Any kind of problem that he's trust Wenlang to fix so he's turning to him for help, finally?
Wenlang shoves those thoughts away and forbids himself from getting too hopeful. It hasn't happened the last ten years, why should tonight be the night.
Gao Tu arrives like a breath of fresh air. He always has that effect on Wenlang, even when he's tired and worn-thin. It may break Wenlang's heart seeing him like that, but he will never not be happy to see him.
He opens the door wide and ushers his friend inside.
"What are you doing here?"
Gao Tu brushes some water out of his face and Wenlang goes to fetch him a towel. Which he does not hand over, instead coming closer until he is stood right in front of the other man, gently drying his hair, face and neck – though when he gets too close to that, Gao Tu jerks away. Which makes no sense. He's a Beta. Touching him there is not overly stimulating like it would be for an Alpha or Omega. But of course, Wenlang accepts his retreat and lowers his hands.
"Why are you here?" he asks again, tamping down the hope that wants to rear its ugly head.
"To bring you the annual report, of course", his secretary says and steps further into his appartment to put his bag on the kitchen island. He opens it and retrieves a paper envelope wrapped in a plastic bag, taking no chances on any rain getting to it.
His Gao Tu, always so diligent.
"You drove all this way to bring me that?" Wenlang is both touched and slightly annoyed. He'd like to think he's never been the kind of boss to demand his employee's time on a weekend. Especially not Gao Tu's.
"Of course I did, you need that to finalise the bidding, don't you?"
He does. And it touches something deep and warm within him that Gao Tu would remember that. And prioritise Wenlang's need over those of his demanding partner, even if it's just for work.
Wenlang takes the folder and smiles at him. "I do. But I did not expect you to drive all the way over here. Especially in this kind of weather."
Gao Tu looks decidedly less put together with his casual clothes and his hair slightly curly from the rain and ruffled form the towel. Wenlang desperately wants to reach out and... do something inadvisable. Like touch him again. For real this time. Not one of these fleeting, stolen brushes he sometimes gets away with at work.
"I don't mind", his friend says and he says it with such a genuine smile that for a moment, Wenlang can delude himself into thinking that he is the most important person in Gao Tu's life. Then reality rushes back in.
Gao Tu closes his bag and turns up the collar of his ratty jacket.
"I'll see you on Monday then", he says and give every indication of walking right back out there.
Wenlang grabs his arm before he can think better of it. "You can't go out there!" he rejects that idea with vehemence. "They have been issuing warnings for hours."
Gao Tu looks down at his arm, then back up at Wenlang. For a moment, something in his face twists, but before Wenlang can put a name to the emotion, it's gone, replaced by Gao Tu's ever professional, mild smile.
"It's not that bad. I made it over here, didn't I?"
"And you should not have", Wenlang chides him, though just a little. He's glad he's here after all. And it would be a poor way to return Gao Tu's effort by scolding him. "I cannot in good conscience let you go back out there."
Gao Tu pulls at his arm, about to free himself. Probably to ignore Wenlang's words.
"Please", he adds quickly. Wenlang rarely asks Gao Tu for anything and never anyone else. "Just until the worst is over. Just for a couple of hours."
Gao Tu swallows. He looks so conflicted. Like he'd want to, but the way his mouth is pressed into a thin, almost bloodless line gives him an almost scared look as well. What could possibly be so scary about spending a few hours with a friend?
"Very well", he finally says and a weight lifts off Wenlang's chest. "But I really do have to leave tonight."
"Why?" Wenlang cannot stop himself from asking, something bitter creeping into his tone. "Does your Omega need you this late at night? Again?"
Gao Tu lowers his gaze. He doesn't respond, but Wenlang still hears him loud and clear. He should not have asked. He could have pretended Gao Tu wants to spend time with him for a little longer.
Wenlang lets go of his arm and steps back, motions towards the bathroom.
"There's a hair dryer in there."
Gao Tu nods and leaves Wenlang to call himself all kinds of an idiot. Well, if he can't be normal about Gao Tu, he can at least offer him something to eat.
Out of reflex he pulls up the delivery app, only to remember that the very thing that keeps Gao Tu here keeps everybody else also in their flat. Right. He opens his fridge like a stranger, having no idea what kind of food, if any, he will find in there.
To his relieve, he seems to have eggs, as well as an assortment of sauces. He'll be able to scrape together fried eggs and rice.
It's nothing special, definitely not what Gao Tu deserves, but it's better than nothing.
When Gao Tu returns from the bathroom, looking decidedly drier and adorably fluffy, Wenlang is still contemplating how to best crack an egg without making a huge mess of it by getting shell in the bowl. To say that he is not much of a cook would be a massive understatement.
"Oh, I did not know you can cook", Gao Tu observes.
Wenlang grimaces. "I can't. But ordering online is out of the question, obviously. And I thought you might...", is this too much? Gao Tu has a partner that can worry about his meals, though knowing their relationship, it's probably Gao Tu who's doing all the worrying. It's high time someone took care of him. And Wenlang should be that someone.
"I could eat", his friend helps him out and then steps closer. "Hand me those eggs."
What follows is as close to domestic bliss as Wenlang has ever gotten in his life. Gao Tu takes over, affirming Wenlang's suspicion that he's the one taking care of meals at home. Wenlang helps wherever he is allowed to and they work pretty well together, if Wenlang might say so. At work, Wenlang takes charge and Gao Tu works flawlessly around him, but it's suprisingly easy to hand over the reigns here and be relegated to chopping and cleaning duty while Gao Tu makes sure the food actually turns out edible.
He reaches around the other man to grab a dish towle when Gao Tu freezes up. Then he all but runs to his bag to grab his inhaler.
Wenlang stops drying the chopping board and follows him, alarmed.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
Gao Tu takes two huge inhales, closing his eyes and holding his breath. When Wenlang wants to step closer to do... something. Anything. But his friend holds up one hand in a gesture to stay back. It's torture, seeing him like that and not being allowed to hurry to his side and touch, comfort any way he can, release some of his calming hormones. He knows Gao Tu can't even smell them, but maybe, if Wenlang releases enough, even his Beta nose will pick up on them.
"It's just... my asthma", Gao Tu says eventually, not looking at Wenlang.
"Should we go to the hospital?" Wenlang has witnessed Gao Tu have these attacks for a decade and every single time hurts his soul. Seeing him like that, frantically grasping for his inhaler and then taking huge, desperate lungfuls of his medicine, Wenlang just wants to crush him to his chest and breathe for him.
"No, no, it's fine." Wenlang wonders how it could possibly be fine, but he trusts Gao Tu to be the expert here. If Gao Tu says he does not need to go see a doctor, Wenlang is hesitantly willing to trust him on that. "It was just the spices."
"Ah, right", Wenlang agrees and vows to use less of them.
It's only when they return to the stove – Gao Tu keeping more space between them, which Wenlang tries not to be hurt by, his friend just needs room to breathe, literally – that he realises all that they used was salt. In all his time in the pharmaceutical industry, he's never heard of salt triggering an asthma attack.
They eat in companionable silence. It reminds him of their college days. He got to monopolise so much of Gao Tu's time back then and he did not even realise it, still always greedy for more. If he'd known, he would have treasured those moments more, would have invited Gao Tu to come have lunch with him even more often. Dinner too. Breakfast.
But Wenlang was a stupid kid and then life happened and now they are both too busy for shared lunches and Gao Tu has grown distant out of respect for his partner. Wenlang is left to steep in jealousy and longing.
"Would you like some wine?" he offers.
Gao Tu immediately shakes his head. "Oh no, I should not be drinking right now." At Wenlang's questioning look, he adds: "Because of the medicine, you know."
Wenlang has seen Gao Tu drink before, usually at company events, so he does not understand how it would be fine then but dangerous now, except for the glaringly obvious fact that Gao Tu does not feel comfortable lowering his guard around him when they are alone. That realisation stings, as it always does. Wenlang wonders when exactly they have grown so far apart that his oldest friend barely wants to spend time with him when he's not forced to for job-related reasons. It's hard not to blame Gao Tu's Omega for that, again, but he knows that it can't just be that. Other friendships survive one of them having a stable partner, why can't theirs?
As instructed, he gets him a glass of water and one for himself as well; he does not feel much like drinking alone.
To make matters worse, Wenlang thinks he catches a whiff of that Omega scent as he leans over Gao Tu to put his water down. He cannot help his nose wrinkling in distaste and from the way Gao Tu shrinks back, basically folds in on himself, his friend noticed.
"I'm sorry", Wenlang says, the words burning on his tongue. He does not really mean them. The fact that Gao Tu, his Gao Tu, smells like someone else, has smelled like someone else for almost as long as Wenlang has known him, it rankles. It's wrong. He should smell like himself, his clean, unobtrusive Beta smell. Or, even better, like Wenlang. He rarely does and only on days where they spend a lot of time together. When they work late into the evening and Wenlang dares, to touch him more than he would under otherwise. Those nights, Wenlang allows himself to want and pine.
Gao Tu quickly shakes his head. "It doesn't matter", he says while looking like it matters a whole lot. Wenlang wants to reach out and take his hand, squeeze it, even if it's just in a friendly manner. But he knows his touch would not be welcomed and he cannot bear the thought of Gao Tu shrinking away from him even more. Lately, it seems that no matter what he does, he cannot bridge the gap between them.
"It's late, I should go anyway."
"No!" Wenlang is up before Gao Tu has made it all the way to his bag. When he turns to face Wenlang, he looks ... frightened. Of Wenlang? That idea is too horrible to entertain. But just in case, Wenlang keeps his distance, does not reach out and hold him just to stop him from running off into the night. "It's hell out there", he says, keeping his voice deliberately calm. Some of his pheromones seep out at the sight of Gao Tu so distressed. They won't do much, but since the Beta can't smell them anyway, Wenlang does not squash them down as harshly as he would around other people. "It's unlikely that there'll be any taxis in operation in these conditions anyway."
"I can walk", Gao Tu says and, to Wenlang's absolutely horror, prepares to do just that.
"No, you cannot!" he shoots back, anger rising, but trying to keep that in check.
He wants to know what's so bad about being here in his apartment that Gao Tu would choose walking through the dangerous night streets in the middle of a storm over Wenlang's rather simple company. But he doesn't, because he's a coward and he does not want to know the answer. What if it's something terrible. What if it's something Wenlang can't fix?
"Gao Tu", he adds, his tone softer, almost pleading. "I don't want to see you hurt." Admitting it feels like handing him his heart on a platter, ready for Gao Tu to drop it all over again like he does every time he runs away from Wenlang and into the arms of his partner. Wenlang has tried to be okay with that, is still trying, but it's becoming more and more clear that he will not be.
Not now, not ever.
Fate is a cruel beast. Why can he feel that Gao Tu should be his, can feel it in his bones, when he cannot have him? Why can he not look at any of the many other perfectly nice, lovely Betas? Why this one, who is not only unavailable, but also constantly in a hurry to get away from him?
Gao Tu takes a long breath in and lets a shuddering breath out. He looks so conflicted and the urge to hug him, soothe him, anything to stop him looking so desperate is strong. But Wenlang is stronger and he stays where he is, well outside of his friend's personal space.
"Fine", his friend finally says with the tone of a man who walks towards doom. "But if I am staying, I need to take a shower."
That request is so odd it distracts Wenlang from the gloomy mood that has fallen between them, from the loathed Omega scent that is clinging to Gao Tu even now. Suddenly, Wenlang is very much in favour of this shower. Better for Gao Tu to wash the stench of another person off of him when he's staying in Wenlang's home.
"I'll get you some clothes", he says and vanishes into his bedroom to grab his softest sweatpants and long sleeve. He's contemplating underwear too. Is that too much? It probably is. But what if Gao Tu would want to slip into something fresh?
Wenlang has to stop this train of thought immediately for fear of saturating the place with his pheromones to a degree that even Gao Tu's inferior Beta nose will pick up on. He would not survive the embarrassment.
He makes the quick decision to just include everything, underwear and socks, and roll it all up into a neat, inconspicuous bundle and then very much not think about it again.
He hands that to Gao Tu, not quite looking him in the eyes, and points his towards the bathroom.
"Towels are in the cabinet."
Gao Tu nods and then turns around and leaves like he cannot get away from Wenlang fast enough. Wenlang listens to the door click shut and then, behind it, the rustle of clothes. Because Gao Tu is undressing. In Wenlang's bathroom.
Wenlang needs to sit down and then concentrate on breathing so he does not linger on that thought. Or any other when he hears the water start. Unfortunately, the image of Gao Tu wet and naked in his shower is a very hard image to ignore. Wenlang does his best, but he's only human and to his horror, he feels himself growing hard.
He jumps up to go to the kitchen and get some cooling pads, grimaces as he shoves them down the front of his pants as he thinks of something unappealing. Sheng Shaoyou comes to mind and the thought of the aggressive Alpha helps.
Not for long though.
Gao Tu emerges and Wenlang was not prepared for the sight of him in his clothes. It speaks to something primal within his core, something that he does not confront most days. He wants to wrap Gao Tu up in everything of his, cover him in his scent – Beta or not – so that nobody will even consider the idea of getting too close to him. He's Wenlang's, he's always been Wenlang's, from the moment he left food on his table all those years ago in school.
Except that he's not. Wenlang's.
Except for how someone else, someone undeserving holds his heart and Wenlang has been relegated to second place, never the one allowed to demand most of Gao Tu's attention, his time and his care. Wenlang cannot accept that.
It's eating him alive.
"I left the towel in the bathroom", Gao Tu says, snapping Wenlang out of his spiralling thoughts. He looks soft and approachable in a way he never does in his suit of many layers. Or even his chequered shirts and oversized old jackets – still so many layers. Now, it's just the one and he appears a lot smaller than he usually does. Slender, bordering on thin. Is he still not eating enough? He knows Gao Tu was financially insecure back in uni, working while studying and still always skipping lunch unless Wenlang made him sit down with him.
But things have changed now, have they not? Gao Tu has a stable job, one that pays him a very competitive wage. Where is all that money going if not into Gao Tu's rent, clothes or food.
... the Omega.
Of course. It always comes down to that horrible person Wenlang hates more than anyone despite never having met them. This leech that is bleeding his best friend dry.
Gao Tu pulls the bathroom door closed behind him and a wave of cold, wet air hits Wenlang, which is the exact opposite of what he'd expect from a long warm shower. Looking closer at Gao Tu, he sees how his lips are tinged blue and the skin on his neck and wrists is scrubbed pink.
"Are you okay?" he asks despite himself. Gao Tu looks up at him in alarm.
"Of course I am", comes the quick reply. "Why would I not be?"
Instead of continuing a pointless argument, Wenlang walks over to touch the back of his hand against his neck. His skin is ice cold.
"Tu", he says and it comes out far too worried and vulnerable, everything he feels for his friend painted in neon lights across his face and in the tone of his voice. The other man jerks back as if burned by Wenlang's touch.
"I need to leave", he says, frantically gathering his clothes and his bag. He slips inside his shoes without socks, throws his old jacket on haphazardly. Wenlang watches him with mounting confusion and worry.
He's also hurt by the fact that Gao Tu cannot stay a single night in his home. There's a guest room. He would provide him with sleep clothes, a fresh tooth brush. It's not like Wenlang is asking him to sleep on the couch or share a bed. They are friends. There is nothing improper about a fried spending a night in the guest room. As a guest. That's what it is for after all!
But Wenlang's hurt feelings are not what is important right now, not when Gao Tu is ready to run into a storm. In the middle of the night.
"Wait!" he reaches him just as Gao Tu is about to flee the apartment. Wenlang catches his elbow and tugs him back. A little harder than he meant to, given the way Gao Tu stumbles back and right into his chest. For a moment, that Omega scent hits him again. Wenlang cannot understand where it keeps hiding. Gao Tu took a shower, he's wearing Wenlang's clothes. Nothing of him should smell of that awful stranger.
Wenlang leans in, thinking it might still stick to his hair. Instead, he gets a clean lung full straight off Gao Tu's neck. It's still muted, but Wenlang is so close, he can see all the little hairs on Gao Tu's neck stand up. He stares down at that bit of skin, uncomprehending.
This is impossible.
An Omega cannot infect a Beta with their scent, can they? In all his years of reading research papers, Wenlang has never come across something like that. But that means... that must mean... that the scent is coming from Gao Tu directly. Which can't be true.
"Let go", Gao Tu demands, his voice sounding wheezy and pressed, like he can barely get words out. Wenlang draws back a little to give him space and notices the fine tremors running down Gao Tu's body. He's shaking. In fear? Of Wenlang? That makes even less sense than the sudden Omega scent.
He has never, never done anything to warrant this kind of reaction from his friend. He was there for all of their interactions, was he not? And while Wenlang will be the first to admit to a plethora of flaws, he doesn't think he's in the habit of treating his friends so poorly that a night storm is a fate preferable to his company.
"Gao Tu", he says, voice thick with worry, tone stern. He takes him by the shoulders and turns him around so his friend is facing him, ignoring his struggles, for once using the fact that he's an Alpha and Gao Tu is just a Beta against him. "What is wrong? I can see something is desperately wrong. Talk to me." It comes out like a plea.
"I can't", Gao Tu replies, shaking all over. Besides the sage, there's also the rotten stench of fear in the air. It takes Wenlang a second to realise that that, too, is coming from Gao Tu.
It doesn't make sense. But. He can smell his emotions. In a way he never could before, always forced to rely on other clues to gauge Gao Tu's moods: his heartbeat, his tone of voice, the measure of his step. Never his scent. Because Gao Tu is not supposed to have a scent. Because Gao Tu is a Beta.
He's a Beta.
From the first time Wenlang has met him over ten years ago, he's always been a Beta.
Except he is not.
Wenlang has enough presence of mind not to let go of him, even when his muscles threaten to slack. Beta or not, Gao Tu is still his friend, still in distress and about to run out into danger. While Wenlang feels a lot of things – confused anger prime among them – none of them will be improved by Gao Tu getting hurt.
He steers him back towards the sofa and makes him sit down.
Gao Tu has stopped fighting and has taken to wrapping his arms around him like he has to shield himself. From Wenlang! Which is not an improvement. At. All.
Misery is pouring off of him in waves now, getting stronger with every passing minute. Because the suppressants are wearing off, some rational part in the back of his mind supplies. Because Gao Tu has used suppressants ever since he's met Wenlang to hide his true nature. Wenlang feels sick with betrayal.
"Why?" he wants to know. That's the thing he truly does not get. If Gao Tu had been like all the other manipulative Omegas, he could have gotten far, far more out of Wenlang than he has. Money, status, houses, cars, definitely his sister's treatment and a golden watch on top of it.
Everything.
Instead, Wenlang had to practically force him to ever accept the bare minimum. And he's working himself to the bone for the job Wenlang did give him. It makes no sense. "All of this just to trick me?"
At that, Gao Tu finally looks up at him. There are tears on his face and despite it all, Wenlang cannot stop himself from reaching out to wipe them away. Seeing his best friend in pain is wrong, even if Gao Tu himself is the reason for that pain. It's instinct to try and soothe him with a gentle touch and pheromones like Wenlang has done dozens of times before, despite knowing they would have no effect on the Beta.
Except they might have.
Now, Gao Tu's eyes slip shut and for a moment, his face scrunches up as if Wenlang is making everything worse. Then he all but melts into his hand, his arms, against his chest. It's overwhelming, having so much of him against his body all of a sudden.
"You smell so good", Gao Tu says, breath fanning out against Wenlang's throat. His scent gland throbs, which is has never done before and most certainly not because of an Omega. It's almost scary, the intensity with which his body reacts to Gao Tu, to the slightest possibility of actually having him. For real. In his arms, in his life. Not as a bystander, not as the second option behind... Wenlang's mind screeches to a halt.
"Your Omega partner", he begins, only to be interrupted by Gao Tu.
"There is no Omega. It has always been just me."
Wenlang was hoping as much, but hearing it said out loud eases a lot of his tension. It also makes his breath heavy with regret. All those years, wasted. He could have pursued Gao Tu openly from the beginning.
Again, the smaller, rational part in his brain pipes up saying that he would have never pursued Gao Tu if he'd known he was an Omega. Would not even have befriended him.
Still, he mourns for all the time he could have spend with him, not as his best friend, but as his lover. Wenlang has never entertained that thought before, but with Gao Tu, it's easy. Easy to see nights spend together and mornings waking up. Sharing meals and work and weekends and just... a life. Wenlang wants all of it to a frightening degree, now that he allows himself to actually entertain it. Now that he knows he could have it. Because there is no Omega, no decade long partner that has a claim on Gao Tu's heart.
He wraps both arms around his friend and is elated when some of the misery is replaced by a sweeter note of sage. That will take some getting used to, smelling that scent and not react with raging jealousy and snide remarks.
Oh God, the remarks. The things that he's hurled at Gao Tu about his scent in the heat of this childish want to possess, to be the only one.
"I'm sorry", he blurts out.
Gao Tu looks up at him with a frown. "Whatever for?"
"For hurting you. For saying all those nasty things. I was... jealous. Insanely jealous." Admitting that is not easy, but Gao Tu deserves the truth. Deserves to know that he would have always chosen him first, if only he'd known. "And I am not having a thing with Hua Yong", he adds, since they are being honest with each other.
"I was wondering about that", Gao Tu admits. He frowns a little. "Then why did you pretend to be his lover?"
"To make Sheng Shaoyou jealous. It's a long story", he adds when he can see Gao Tu wanting to ask more questions. "I'll tell you all about it. But, not tonight. Just promise me you'll keep your distance from Hua Yong."
"Secretary Hua? Why?"
Because he's crazy. Because he's dangerous. Crazy dangerous and dangerously crazy.
But Wenlang knows he cannot say that without not also giving three hours worth of context and also sharing Hua Yong's secret, which he is not sure he is at liberty to share in the first place. The last thing he wants is Hua Yong coming after Gao Tu for knowing something he is not supposed to know.
"I'll explain later. First, it's your turn to make some sense of... all of this." He gestures down Gao Tu's body.
The stench of misery grows more potent again, but even so, Gao Tu sits up straight. He brushes his hands through his hair like he's getting ready to face an enemy.
What follows is a harrowing tale of a childhood destroyed by abuse, a mother weak and worried sick handing her son the only way she knew to keep himself safe. Even if it would slowly destroy him from the inside. Accompanied with poverty, a sick sister, an abusive, gambling, violent father who should have gotten on the wrong side of the right people a long time ago but didn't.
When Gao Tu finishes, bravely blinking back tears again, Wenlang feels sick and vengeful and on the brink of crying himself. He doesn't because the last thing Gao Tu needs is to comfort him. But when he wraps his arms back around him, pulls him against his chest with all his might, that is as much for himself as it is for Gao Tu.
"It'll be better from now on", he promises and that too, is for Gao Tu and himself in equal measures. "We'll take care of your sister's bills. We'll talk to a doctor about how to wean your body off the suppressants-"
"No!" Gao Tu chimes in. "No, I need them! I can't live as an Omega."
Wenlang looks down at him, distraught. "Gao Tu", he tries softly. "You are an Omega. And I know you are smart enough to know that suppressants are meant to be a short term solution. What havoc they can wreak upon extended consumption."
But his friend shakes his head. "I can't. If he finds out I'm an Omega..."
"Who?" Wenlang inquires gently. "Your father?" And feels decidedly ungently at the thought of that man. Gao Tu just shudders in answer. "I'll talk to him", Wenlang says.
"The hell you will", Gao Tu injects, anger flaring for the first time all night, bringing with it a scent of burning coal. This, having a scent to go along with Gao Tu's emotions, is surprisingly nice. It makes everything ten times easier.
"Then I'll talk to people who can talk to him, okay? Or we hide you. You can move. Move in with me, in fact. You don't have to keep working at HS Group. Actually, you never have to work again if-"
Gao Tu puts a hand over his mouth. "I am working", he says, no way to misinterpret that. "And I am not moving in with you."
Wenlang makes a face, but opts not to argue the point tonight. He feels raw, Gao Tu looks exhausted and with the big secret out in the air, there's nothing standing between them now to keep them apart. Deep down inside, he still mourns all those missed opportunities to build something together. Ten years that they could have had a relationship. Maybe they'd have a family by now. Instead, they are getting this late start because Gao Tu's father is a pig. The urge to find the man and make him pay for all the hurt he has caused Gao Tu and the happiness that he's cost Wenlang is strong. But that, too, Wenlang shelves for another day. Not tonight. Tonight, they need to get some sleep to face the next day together.
"You will stay the night, right?" Wenlang asks.
"Yes", Gao Tu agrees and the urge to push further, to demand he sleep in his bed too, is immediate. Wenlang shoves it down. Tonight is not the night and that is probably a good thing. Wenlang needs... he needs to read up on a couple of things. Since he never thought he'd sleep with an Omega ever, there are some pretty big gaps in his education. The urge to just give in and let his instincts take the wheel is there though. Maybe it would be great. Maybe it'd be just like in the movies.
Or maybe, he'll fuck it up completely and make a fool out of himself. Or worse, hurt Gao Tu. That'd be unacceptable. Gao Tu only deserves the best, including when it comes to the bedroom.
So he just hugs him once more before letting go.
Gao Tu gets off the sofa and moves towards his bag again. When he gets the inhaler, Wenlang is up and by his side.
"No more suppressants", he says, putting a hand over the hateful little device that helped Gao Tu pull the wool over his eyes for so long. His friend gives him a long-suffering look.
"Wenlang", he admonishes him softly, "I have to."
"No. Why do you have to? These are terrible for you. You've taken them far too long!" Honestly, he should probably get him to a doctor. Just to make sure Gao Tu's heart is not about to explode from the poisonous cocktail he's been injecting into his body for far too long. Wouldn't that just be Wenlang's luck, loosing what he's wanted more than anything just when he got it.
Gao Tu, unaware of his turmoil, gently pushes his hand away.
"I'll go into heat if I don't take these", he explains.
Wenlang's brain goes offline for a moment. "What. Like, right now?" he asks stupidly.
Gao Tu keeps a very professional face, but his ears are bright pink. Wenlang kind of wants to pull his collar down just to see how far that blush spreads.
"It happens when I'm not on suppressants. I suppose my body takes every chance it gets."
Well, that's concerning!
Wenlang is so worried for him and he hates pulling back his hand and letting him take another dose. Surely, this one wont be the one that finally brings down the house, right? Wenlang cannot be this unlucky. And he kind of gets that Gao Tu is not ready to have a heat right now. Wenlang is not ready for him to have a heat right now. But they will have to figure this out and soon. And find a way to stabilise Gao Tu's hormones.
“I can smell the anxiety coming off of you”, his friend says and puts a hand on his arm. The touch is light, barely there, as if Gao Tu is still unsure if he's allowed. When he is very much allowed to help himself to every part of Wenlang's body that he'd like. And his life. Since that is probably a bit much on a first night, he keeps that thought to himself and just covers Gao Tu's hand with his. Finally being allowed to, finally not having to sneak little touches here and there, feels exilirating.
“I can't help it. I care about you.” It's not what he really means to say, but he's holding himself back for Gao Tu's sake. It has been a long night, an even longer ten years. He's trying not to rush and push his friend too fast.
Gao Tu, with that uncanny way of understanding Wenlang when Wenlang does not understand himself, still hears him.
“I care about you too.”