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4 days. 4 days since Thomas left the house, and he hadn't even came home. Didn't even call. To say it bugged Arthur was an understatement. It gnawed at him, telling him that he was the one who fucked up enough to make Thomas go no contact. They did have that fight over Thomas "overworking"– maybe Arthur shouldn't have been a nosy bitch. Maybe then Thomas would've been at the house if he didn’t act like it was a big deal.
…
No. Arthur was concerned. It wasn’t his fault Thomas had this overreaction to a simple "Please don't work yourself to death!" God, Arthur wanted to scream at him for this. He wanted to yell and smack Thomas for this.
Yet, Arthur couldn't help but think of hugging him when he sees him again. The guilt grabbed at his heart, mind running at a million miles per hour. What could've happened? What if he was dead?
That thought scared him down to his core. To think that his friend of over a decade– the same guy he's made most if his memories with, the same guy who made him forget about the world, even if it was for a bit– could be a corpse in just a matter of days. He didn’t want to think of that.
He had to find him.
He had to find him, before someone– something else did.
The coat rack shook as Arthur swiped his jacket off of one of the pegs, hands shaking in a combination of fear and anger. Boots squeaked against the floor, quick footsteps overcame the house as the man gripped the doorknob like a vice.
"I'll be back before sundown!" He yelled up the stairs, not even processing Kamryn coming out of her room to ask why the fuck he was leaving now. Arthur had to find Thomas. He had to. He didn’t want to let his feelings out to a corpse.
The forest seemed to swallow him as his boots imprinted the dirty snow in a terrified rush. Sticks and stone were kicked around just to make sure he got to Thomas first before whatever else could. It's already been 4 days, god knows what could've happened to him, to the man Arthur didn't want to part from.
Years of wanting– yearning for that man, years of wanting to only see him smile, years of only wanting the best to happen to him, he couldn't just throw this all away. He didn’t know if Thomas was even coming back. For all he knew, Thomas might’ve just abandoned him for good, all without a final word. Without a final confession. If Thomas wanted to forget him, Arthur at least wanted to know that he at least understood his feelings. He didn’t have to feel the same– he was yearning for a married man here– but he at least wanted to know that Thomas got the message. He didn’t want his heart to fall on deaf ears after all.
The blur of dark greens seemed to contrast with a hue of red in the distance, snapping Arthur out of his thoughts. Was that Thomas? That– That had to be. It had to be! The man seemed to get faster, his voice getting ready to scream.
"Thomas?– Thomas!" Arthur ran up to him, almost ramming into him from how tunnel-visioned the man was. Thomas seemed shocked, the trees near him darkening and his knees almost crumbling under the new pressure. "I thought you were dead!"
Thomas's eyes seemed to narrow, glancing at the leaves, the sticks, the snow, all before holding eye contact. "Well, I'm not. I was dealing with my own shit, why did you even want to look for me?"
Arthur shook his head. There was no way– did Thomas really think like that? Did Arthur not make his love known? Fuck, was this actually his fault? "The fuck– the fuck do you mean?"
"Oh don't fucking act like you don't know!" Thomas's voice boomed, his eyes glaring into Arthur with the power of a million suns. "You can stop the act now!"
"What act–"
"STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING DUMBASS!" A hand reached out to grab Arthur's shirt like a vice. Heavy breaths hit the smaller man's face, a reminder to Arthur that he had no idea what happened in those 4 days. "You know what act! You can't act like a bitch and then get confused when I don't want to be reminded of how I'm a failure! Stop acting like you care when you've shown me you don't!"
Arthur pushed Thomas away, snow staining his boots as he tried to figure out what the fuck Thomas was talking about. "Why would I act like I care about you?! This isn't some act!"
"Sure, tell yourself that to not face the truth!"
"Why would I lie about YEARS of caring for you?! Why would I lie for years about wanting to stay next to you until the end of our days?"
"You can't be–"
Before Thomas could get another word in, Arthur placed a hand at his chest, feet in front of himself to try and make himself seem bigger.
"Why would I lie about MONTHS and YEARS of wishing it was ME you chose instead of HER?!"
Arthur's chest seemed to tighten, his heart beating loud in his ears. His hands gripped at his shirt, looking for something to stop the shaking.
"I couldn't– I couldn't stand the thought of you just forgetting me! I can't! I don't want to mean nothing to you! I don't want you to look at the memories that kept me happy and fucking sane cause I knew you would be there– I don't want to know that it meant nothing to you! I don't want to know that! I've spent all of my heart on you and I don't want to know it was all for a waste! You don't have to love me back, I know its bullshit to think of that when you're in a happy marriage with her– but I just want to know that you won't just abandon me for–"
His eyes finally registered Thomas's face. It was hard to understand what his face meant. Was it disgust? Surprise? Contempt? Did he think that Arthur's heart was something sinful? He didn't mean to, he swore he didn't.
"…my heart." It was a whisper– barely audible against his thoughts. He fucked up. He shouldn't have left. He should've waited for Thomas to come back on his own.
Fuck.
Maybe he should've stayed inside. He should've waited for Thomas. Stayed at the pace he wanted. Now Thomas was disgusted with his heart, and he can't just act like that never happened! He fucked up. Maybe it would be better if Thomas forgot him instead of seeing him as a desperate fag–
…
His mouth felt warm. Really warm. It only processed in his brain when Thomas pulled away. He. He kissed Arthur. He kissed Arthur.
"Wha–"
His ears rang with– well, that noise is fucking unpleasant. Like two eels getting slapped together. Eugh. Arthur turned to look at the source of the noise, and almost jumped back at what was there.
"What is that?!"
Thomas only gave a scoff, before grabbing Arthur's arm with a lighter grip. At least his scoff wasn't directed at Arthur…
The wind blew through the forest behind them as Thomas followed Arthur's snowy footsteps. There was nothing but silence and the rustling of the leaves in their ears. The house wasn't that far away now.
The realization hit Arthur like a truck. He stole Kamryn's husband. Great, what a fucking dilemma to be in! Maybe he shouldn't grip Thomas's hand like he'd lose him if he didn't. Fuck. How was he supposed to explain him being a homewrecker?–
The door opened, and Arthur took off his jacket slowly. Kamyrn was cooking in the kitchen, her focus being redirected as she saw the two men in the doorway. "Where were you, Tom?" She asked, her voice in the dissatisfied tone.
"Personal shit." He responded bluntly, going to Kamryn and giving her a kiss on the cheek. He also whispered something into Kamryn's ear, but Arthur couldn't hear the exact words. He was too busy staring at the floor as he tried to think of how to play off the kiss Thomas gave him.
That is, until he got surprised kissed for the second time that night. Arthur turned to the source of the kiss, seeing Kamryn chuckle softly to herself. "Welcome to the marriage."
Arthur just stood there.
He started this day stressing over his best friend, and now he has two partners.
Maybe life isn't so bad.