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Can I Be Pretty? Like You?

Summary:

Ji-ho is a strange child, and one night, he goes to Celine, red-eyed and trembling, asking to change.

Or

How Rumi came out to Celine.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

When Ji-ho was born, the Honmoon shined, bright and beautiful. Swirling and singing around soft skin, tickling pink cheeks. Celine and Miyeong knew what this meant, it had happened to them, and it will happen again.

This child will be a Hunter.

The first half demon Hunter.

The first male Hunter.

But it will be ok. Celine will help Miyeong with whatever she needs.

But it can't be ok, because Miyeong is gone, and Celine has no one to help her.

Celine tries to be a good mother, she really does. She never truly wanted to be one, but life was funny like that, and handed her Ji-ho anyway. Despite it all, she vowed to love him, all of him. Even if it went against everything she knew.

The boy was a lot like his mom, his real mom. Kind and caring, energetic when something caught his interest. He was also just like Celine, quiet and thoughtful, a lover of plants.

He was also the spitting image of his father.

They way he smiled, the shape of his chin, his nose.

It was scary, for Celine, to see the man that took everything from her in her son.

(Was he her son? Was she his mom?)

But she would love him anyway, even if it hurt, even if it was hard.

Even when she wasn't prepared.


Ji-ho is… a little strange, to put it simply. He avoids eye contact, picks at his fingertips, and he loves his routines. He's also very effeminate, soft spoken and gentle, preferring princess movies over anything with a male lead. He isn't the most social, but maybe that part is Celine's fault. He's home-schooled, so he rarely interacts with kids his age. But when he does, he's quiet and awkward, like he doesn't know how to reach out, like something is stopping him.

(Well, besides the obvious thing, crawling up his shoulder. But let's not talk about that right now.)

When he does play with other kids, it's usually the girls from his dance class. Which is fine, Celine doesn't really care, as long as he was getting along well with them, it was ok.

But kids can be cruel, and Ji-ho's quirks don't go unnoticed.

They switch dance classes after that.

The new studio is an all boys class, an attempt to avoid any gender based conflict, but it only makes Ji-ho crawl back into his shell. He doesn't make any friends during that time.


Celine tries to get Ji-ho to befriend the other boys in his class, but he resists. The other boys just don't get him. They talk about sports and superheros and other things he can't bring himself to like.

Celine sighs and continues brushing his hair, she says one day he will find a friend in the class, he just has to reach out.

Besides, he will have his fellow hunters, and they will surely be his friends. They have to be.

Ji-ho asks if they will be girls like her and mom, or boys like him.

Celine tells him they will likely be girls, that Ji-ho is the first male hunter.

Ji-ho feels a discomfort crawl up his spine.

He doesn't want that.

(Elsewhere, two little girls cringe with a feeling they can't quite name.)


It's quiet and still, the night after Ji-ho's 7th birthday, and Celine is in bed reading a book.

And then she hears it.

A creek. A sniffle.

She looks up from her novel, and is greeted with a pitiful sight.

Ji-ho is crying, eyes red and puffy, he's been like this for a while. His small fist is clutching his teddy, his most cherished item.

He looks so small.

So fragile.

"Ji-ho? What are you doing up?"

He's trembling.

"C-can I come in?" He sniffles.

He asks like she would ever say no.

"Of course, jagiya, come here."

The boy shuffles over to the bed, and Celine helps him up onto her lap, wrapping the soft blanket around him as she holds him close. The actions feel natural, they feel right.

"What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"

Ji-ho shakes his head.

"N-no… I-I just-" He's cut off by his own tears. They start overflowing, and the boy clings harder to Celine, burying his face in her shirt as he sobs. Emotions far too big for such a little body.

Celine holds him tighter as he cries, rubbing circles into his back. She says nothing, she just lets him get it all out.

She's never been good at comfort.

(She doesn't know yet, how this trait of hers will almost cost her everything.)

(Almost.)

Ji-ho has slowed his tears now, air coming back to his lungs, and Celine wipes his tears with her sleeve.

"Can you tell me what's bothering you, sweetheart? I hate to see you so upset."

The Honmoon agrees with her, pulsing a distress signal throughout the room, begging, pleading, for someone to help the little Hunter.

The boy's breathing steadies, his grip on Celine's shirt loosening. He keeps his eyes away from her, focusing on the teddy bear in his lap.

"I don't wanna be a boy anymore…"

Oh. That's… not what she was expecting.

"What?" She tries not to sound shocked. She can't tell if she succeeds.

"I don't like being a boy! It's uncomfortable, I hate it!" His tears are back.

Celine tries her best to keep her face calm, to be the rock this child so desperately needs right now. She doesn't know how to approach this, she barely knows what "this" even is.

"What makes it so uncomfortable?"

"It just… it feels wrong. Like I'm wearing clothes that are too tight."

And Celine starts to understand.

The same feelings bubbled within her throughout life, just with a different cause. Every time a boy from school would ask if she was free on the weekend, every time she would be paired with a male idol on forum posts.

And Celine starts to understand. What this is.

"I wanna be pretty like you and Eomma. I…" He pauses, building up the strength to say what he's been wanting to for a while.

"I wanna be a girl."

Ji-ho keeps his face down, never moving his gaze off his teddy, fiddling with the plush fur on its paws. He's still crying, but it's passive now, salty streams down his pink cheeks.

And well, Celine's never been good at saying no to her baby.

"Okay."

Ji-ho snaps his head up, watery eyes finally making contact with Celine's.

"W-what?"

"You can be a girl. You will be a girl. The prettiest girl in the world. Just like your mother."

It's a promise. It's a vow.

It's the truth.

And instantly, the child in her lap, the girl in her lap, lights up. And before Celine can process, tiny arms have wrapped themselves around her tight, purple hair tickling her chin.

"Thank you! Oh thank you thank you thank you!" He- She, nearly yells in Celine's ear, but the woman can't bring herself to mind.

Celine wraps her arms around the girl in return, holding her as close as she can.

"I love you Celine."

"I love you too."


They will fall asleep soon after, emotions wearing them out. Celine will hold the girl close as they rest. And in the morning, they will pick out a new name, Rumi.

Miyeong had said that was her choice of name for if she had a girl.

And Rumi thinks it fits perfectly.

Celine does too.

Notes:

Hope you all liked this one! Trans Rumi is very dear to me and I wanted to make something special for her. This is also based on a comic I made a while ago with the same premise! Link: https://x.com/Stars_On_Paper/status/1951741385390080477