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It was just past midnight at the Mystery Shack and all was calm when suddenly,
Chomp chomp!
Waddles’s ears pricked up, someone was eating something! With a mellow grunt, he lifted himself off Mabel and hopped off her bed, trotting into the hallway. Chomp chomp! This wasn’t right, food was being eaten without him!
Following his ears, he arrived at the kitchen where Stan was chomping away, he hadn’t noticed him yet. Rubbing himself against Stans leg to make his presence known, he sat down and looked up with an expectant expression.
‘Whadda ya want’
‘Oink’
‘Gedd out, Shoo! Shoo!’
But Waddles did not want to ‘Shoo’, instead he patiently waited for Stan to let him finish the food, and sure enough Stan eventually gave him the leftover yellow things.
Later once Waddles had settled down on Mabels bed again and dozed off, another yellow thing appeared in his dream.
‘Hey there pig!’
‘Oink?’
‘Care to make a tiny deal with me’
Waddles looked up at the familiar looking yellow triangle, getting a sense of déjà vu.
‘Well?’
Suddenly it clicked, it was a giant version of the yellow things from earlier, and it was asking him to eat it in its convoluted human language!
‘Listen Sausages, don’t play dumb with me, I saw you riding about in that little cart of yours earlier communicating with shooting star and pine tree, so you’re clearly a sm-Hey don’t try to eat me!’
While Bill had been threatening him, Waddles had tried to take a bite out of one of Bills beloved vertices.
‘Anyway, the point is I know you’re a smart pig, you’re special and not like other pigs, so how about you shake my hand with your… snout and I just make you a literal god, while you get to hang out in my comfy nightmare realm penthouse.’
Waddles was understandably annoyed, the food had stopped him from eating it, but without his noticing, his body had been growing in size.
‘…And you can even get eyeball martinis at the push of a button there. Ooh, did I mention that the cocktail bar also gives you little toe-nail umbrellas.’
It was then that Waddles decided to go for take 2 and try taking a bite again, but since the food fought back, this time instead of nibbling at the corner he would launch himself at the middle, right where Bills eye was.
‘And if you’re bored you can get Xanthar to dance for you, that Little Gideon would be better, but you’d need to accept my – AAAH, my eye!!!’
‘Oink!’ – Waddles was overjoyed, he had finally gotten a bite.
‘Oink!, why I’ll oink you, you little– My hat!’
Bill was starting to change colour now.
‘This little piggy went to market!’
Bill was now also growing.
‘And this little piggy stayed home!’
Bill now had a laser cannon for an eye.
‘And this little piggy got VAPORISED’
BOOM!
‘Oink’
Waddles took another bite out of the shocked Bill.
‘How are you still here you stupid pig!’
Bill was rapidly being reduced to just a few bites left.
‘NO! I’m not going to be defeated by a PIG!’
With one last bite Waddles finished Bill off and laid down for a little mindscape nap, but just before closing his eyes, he saw a small floating crumb screaming: ‘noooooooo!’, before quickly eating it.