Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Never Getting Laid
“The fuck does agoraphobia mean?”
“I think it’s, like, the fear of going outside or whatever. I don’t know, something like that.”
“Awesome.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, just saw the word.”
Ribbit sends him a cheeky grin. “Saw it where?”
Jax throws a pillow at him.
He dodges it. “All I’m trying to say is I saw that someone’s new single had that word in it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Before he could react, Ribbit yanks Jax’s phone out of his hands.
“Dude!”
Ribbit walks away from him, scrolling through what Jax was looking at. “Well well well! This is very incriminating if you ask me, Mr. I’ve-moved-on-and-couldn’t-care-less.”
“Will you give that back?”
At the end of the day, did it really matter if he was looking at her new releases? It wasn’t a crime.
Ribbit hands him his phone back.
“Jax, I don’t think this is healthy.”
“Oh, yeah, because you’re the perfect person to be giving advice on stuff like this.”
“Just because I’ve never been in this situation doesn’t mean I can’t give you an opinion.”
Jax rolls his eyes.
“Besides, you said, and I’m quoting here, ‘I don’t really give shit what she’s doing anymore’.”
“Me looking at her new songs doesn’t mean a thing.”
“Her new songs that are about you?”
“We don’t know that.”
Ribbit gives him a look of disbelief.
“Whatever, man. Don’t you have clothes to be designing or something? I need something for that upcoming music video.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Ribbit goes back to sitting on the couch, drawing on his tablet.
Jax looks back down at his phone.
The headline of the article stares back at him.
Pop Star Ragatha’s New Single - Breakup Album Incoming?
Breakup album, he was sure.
Though he shouldn’t really complain.
The whole thing was at least eighty percent his fault. Which meant at least twenty percent was on her!
He recalled where he was a year ago - freshly in a relationship, actually happy.
God, get over it.
He scrolls to the next article.
Ragatha’s New Single: A Deep Dive into the Lyrics.
And there she was again, haunting his life like some sort of ghost.
He stares at the headline.
Everyone knows the only way to be rid of a ghost is to confront it head on.
He clicks on it.
“The song starts off on a contradiction - “We were so happy, why not mix it up / I’m so at peace, yeah, I can’t drink enough.”. The start implies some kind of perfect relationship, which could have led to the fall of it…”
Holy snooze fest.
“...Many fans speculate the song has something to do with her recent ex-boyfriend, another singer by the name of Jax...”
He closes the tab.
What did they know anyway?
They didn’t know anything about him, about her, about their relationship.
“Why do you look so mad?”
“I don’t.”
Ribbit sighs, setting his tablet down beside him. “Jax, as your best friend, I need you to be honest with me.”
“I’m always honest with you.”
“Good. Then this should be easy. Do you miss her?”
“What?!”
“Do you miss Ragatha?”
“Ribbit, what the actual fu-”
“I’m completely serious. Jax, you’ve been obsessing over her.”
“Obsessing is a little strong.”
“I think it’s perfect for this situation.”
“You’re infuriating, you know that?”
“And you’re avoiding the question. Do you miss her?”
Jax stays quiet. What was he supposed to say? Confess that he’d thought about her nonstop since he broke things off with her? Tell Ribbit he’d regretted it from the moment he saw tears form in her non-button eye? He’d rather die.
“Your silence is answer enough.”
“No. I don’t miss her.”
“It took you like twenty seconds to get to no.”
“And it’ll take twenty more to kick you out of my apartment.”
“You know you don’t have the heart to do that.”
Knowing he was right, Jax just rolled his eyes and reached for the TV remote.
He turns it on, and there she is again.
And just like every single time she snuck her way back into his eyesight, he got lost in her.
She was on some sort of morning show, doing an interview promoting her upcoming album. The volume was low, but Jax didn’t need to hear anything. Just seeing her did enough.
Her curly red hair was down, flowing freely over her back and shoulders. Her dress was blue - as it so often was - and short. She had a pair of heels on. That bow was in her hair, the one that was practically attached to her head. She was smiling.
The detail that made Jax the most annoyed with himself was the fact that he knew it was a fake one.
For ten months of his life, he’d dedicated himself to memorize every single part of her, every single inch of her body, every single thought that ran through her head. And for the past two months of his life, he had to come to terms with the fact that someday, somebody else would too.
He needed to write that down.
“At least turn the volume up. If you’re gonna stare all day, you might as well listen too.”
Jax sighs and turns it up.
The interviewer laughs before speaking, “And what are you most excited for in regards to your upcoming album?”
Ragatha gives that same angelic smile. “I think this album is different from anything I’ve put out before. To be honest, it was a little out of my comfort zone at first, but I learned to love it! I’m excited for everyone to listen.”
God, he hoped it was different. The last single she put out practically tore him limb from limb. The fact that it was called “Vicious” should be enough to describe how she was feeling towards him. She had released it two weeks after they- after he ended things.
He didn’t pick up the interviewer’s question, but Ragatha was speaking again.
“...Yeah! I drew inspiration from a lot of different artists and stories. I think a big one people will see is some seventies inspired instrumentals.”
All personal things aside, she was an excellent songwriter. Jax had always admired that about her, even before they had even gotten together.
“You look absolutely pathetic right now.”
Jax forces his gaze away from the TV to glare at Ribbit.
“If you’re so miserable without her, why’d you break up with her?”
“It’s a long story that I don’t feel like telling.”
“Well, listen. I’m sick and tired of you sitting around acting all depressed and shit. Either get over her or find a way to get her back. I’m literally begging.”
“Like she’d ever take me back.”
“You never know until you try. Besides, didn’t she literally say that she still loved you in her new single?”
“She also said she hoped I would get agoraphobia and never get laid again.”
“Details, details.”
“How would I even go about getting her back? Hypothetically.”
“Well, hypothetically, you’d just slowly start getting closer to her? I don’t know, how’d you get her to agree to go out with you in the first place?”
“We became friends through mutual admiration, and… you? I guess.”
“Ah. Right, right. That reminds me, I need to work on her music video outfits…”
“Not right now! You’re helping me.”
“Fine, fine.” He scoots over to where Jax is sitting and sits next to him.
“So what do I do?”
“You unfollowed her on everything, right?”
“Yeah?”
“Follow her again. That’ll get her attention.”
“Are you sure?”
“What is she gonna do? Publicly humiliate you?”
“She basically already has.”
“See! You’ve got nothing to lose!”
“Fine.” Jax closes out of the articles he was reading and opens Instagram.
He pulls up her profile and sits there for a second, the blue button staring up at him.
“Okay.” He mutters.
Ribbit looks at him expectantly after a few more seconds. “Do you need me to press it?”
“What? No. I got it.”
He stares again.
Ribbit laughs. “You are so pathetic.”
“Shut up.” He clicks the button. “There. See?”
The two stare at the button that now says ‘following’.
“Now what?”
Ribbit laces his fingers behind his head and leans back. “Now we wait.”
*****
Ragatha was in her dressing room when she saw.
“Oh what the fuck.”
“What? What happened?”
“Look who just followed me on Instagram.”
Ragatha showed Pomni her screen.
All Pomni could say was an uttered “Holy shit.”
“What is he trying to do?”
“Who knows. Forget about him. He’s a loser anyway.”
“An attractive one.”
“Ragatha, ew.”
Ragatha just sighs.
“You need to stand up.”
“I can’t!” She dramatically drags her hands down her face. “Every time I try to move on, I see something about him or something that reminds me of him.”
“Ragatha, as someone who has been by your side for the rise and fall of that relationship, I’ve seen how you’ve felt firsthand. I know it’s hard, but you have to try to heal.”
“I know, I know. I’m trying.”
“I know you are.” Pomni looks at her best friend with pity. “Hey, how about tonight we go do something? Your choice.”
“Like what?”
“Whatever you want. Go out, stay in.”
“...I think getting out of the house might be good for me.”
“That’s the spirit! Let’s go to that new bar that opened up last week. It’ll be fun.”
“Okay… yeah! That’ll be fun.”
“Great. Now, where’s Loo? I’m ready to get out of here.”
Right on cue, Loo, Ragatha’s manager, comes into the room. “Ragatha, the car is ready for you.”
“Okay, thanks, Loo!”
Loo smiles at her and leaves the room. Ragatha gathers the things she brought with her before walking out to the car with Pomni.
Tonight was going to be fun. She’ll drink, maybe dance. Maybe talk to a guy who isn’t Jax, think about a guy who isn’t Jax.
But the universe never tended to work in her favor with these kinds of things.