Chapter Text
The swamp was a miserable place. Thick muck squelched nastily under Aziraphale’s feet, every step a chance to lose a sandal. The trees twisted unnaturally, bare branches clawing at his lion hide cape. The poisonous fumes did nothing to improve the overall ambience, nor did the occasional piercing shriek echoing in the fog that coalesced over the stagnant water. Hopefully the future tasks would send him to more bearable locations; certainly there must be a monster somewhere in the Peloponnese laying waste to a lovely seaside or a pleasant woodland!
But first, there was a monster to deal with right here.
Aziraphale was happy to discover that the heart of the swamp, where the beast was supposed to dwell, was an improvement over the swamp itself. There was a rocky outcrop with a deep cave—presumably the lair—and a swath of dry land in front of it, smaller rock piles strewn around. Patches of fog crept over the ground, but the air was finally clean enough to breathe. Aziraphale tore off the cloth covering he used to protect his nose and mouth from the fumes on his way and took a deep grateful breath before looking around.
There was no monster in sight.
Surprisingly, Aziraphale was not alone here. A dark-haired man stood in front of the cave, his back to the hero, half-concealed by the fog. Another adventurer sent on the same mission? The man seemed ill-equipped for monster fighting; he didn’t brandish any weapons, his narrow frame didn’t suggest hand-to-hand combat experience, and his clothing, if he even wore any, would do nothing to protect him in a battle. The creature’s captive? There were no reports of any kidnappings. A sacrifice sent by the nearest town to placate the beast for a while?
Well, no time like the present to sort it out, ideally before the beast emerged from the cave or returned from a foraging trip. Aziraphale really didn’t want any witnesses to him dealing with the monster. He cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Um… Hello. Have you by any chance seen the Hydra that has been terrorising the villages in the area?”
The man’s bare back stiffened. “The Hydra?” he asked.
“You know, a polycephalic ophidian monster… Er, a huge snake-like creature with multiple heads,” Aziraphale clarified quickly, seeing the lack of reaction from the other man. “It’s been terrorising the neighbouring villages, and the reports point to this place as its lair.”
“Rude,” the man scoffed. “Do I look like I’m terrorising anyone? For that matter, do I look like a polycephalic ophidian monster?”
And with that, he turned and stepped out of the fog. Except, Aziraphale realised belatedly, there was no actual stepping involved. Stepping implied legs, and the stranger was rather lacking in that department. Instead, his narrow waist morphed into the lower half of a huge snake, black with a dark-red belly.
“Oh,” Aziraphale said. The man—half-man, he supposed?—crossed his arms, looking peeved, so the hero felt he should elaborate. “No?” he tried.
“No?” the stranger repeated in a mocking tone, arching an eyebrow. Aziraphale couldn’t help but note upon his eyes, bright-yellow with a slit pupil like that of, well, a snake. Unusual, but striking, just like the rest of him…
Aziraphale gave himself a mental shake. He couldn’t stand there ogling the admittedly very handsome stranger with some ophidian features while the real monster might be lurking nearby. It might even be planning to attack both of them right now!
“My apologies,” he said politely but firmly. “I am sent here in search of a Hydra, a many-headed snake monster with poisonous breath. It is clearly not at home at present, so might I suggest you take this chance to leave while I scout the surrounding swamp to find the creature before it finds us?”
The man sneered, showing a bit of a fang.
“And I’m telling you, this swamp has only one snake monster, and you’re talking to him right now. Though I take offence at the poisonous breath bit; you should smell the guys’ own garlic and onion stink before repeating their nonsense.”
Aziraphale paused. Technically speaking, the man was half-snake, and somebody unaccustomed to dealing with inhumans might consider him a monster, though the hero had never heard of one quite like him… But no, the description didn’t match.
“The reports described a monster with multiple heads, snake heads,” he emphasized apologetically. “They went into quite a bit of detail on this account, describing how attempting to cut off the heads led to them multiplying.”
“Ah, that must’ve been this.” The man waved a clawed hand above his head, and his hair came alive. Dark strands reared and hissed, turning out to be tiny black snakes with brilliant yellow eyes matching those of the man himself.
“Oh, how darling!” Aziraphale couldn't conceal his delight at seeing the adorable creatures, though that complicated the issue of the man’s nature even further. Echidna was half-snake but female, and confined to the underworld to boot. Gorgons had living snakes in place of hair but were human-shaped otherwise, and were supposed to turn anyone who looked upon them to stone, which was luckily not the case here. No, this man was a mystery.
“So, what’s your business with the Hydra, then?” the mystery man asked, petting the snakes to try and get them back into a resemblance of a hairstyle. “Let me guess, a shoulder massage to alleviate the strain of carrying around all those heads?”
Aziraphale chuckled, fighting back a blush. Given who the alleged Hydra turned out to be, the mental image was altogether too enticing to linger on it.
“Ah, not a massage, I’m afraid,” he replied. “See, my name is Aziraphale, and I…”
“Oh yeah, the great hero, the vanquisher of monsters, in service to king Gabriel for twelve years,” the man drawled, shifting the coils of his tail, distaste clear in his movements. “Don’t be surprised; the word travels fast, especially when heroes and gods are involved. Bit of an overreaction, if you ask me. First offence, Hera-induced madness and everything. Makes you wonder what Zeus is really planning.”
Aziraphale was surprised to hear a note of compassion in the man’s gruff voice.
“Best not to speculate,” he cautioned quickly. “It's all part of the great plan. It's not for us to understand.”
The man huffed but changed the topic. Not that the new one was any better.
“So, vanquishing monsters, how does that work out for you? I heard about the first one, the Nemean Lion. Well done, have a gold star. Am I supposed to be the second one, a pair of snakeskin sandals to go with your lion hide cape?"
The man hissed angrily and swatted at Aziraphale’s shoulder. His claw-tipped fingers caught on the lion’s pelt and left a long rip in the hide. They both froze.
“Listen,” the man muttered, inspecting his hands in disbelief. “My claws are not sharp enough to rip the Nemean Lion’s skin. I know my claws are not sharp enough!” His voice was starting to sound hysterical.
Aziraphale took a deep breath. It was time to reveal his hand and face the consequences.
“This is not the Nemean Lion’s pelt.”
The man stared at him mutely, so Aziraphale pushed on. “Everybody made him out to be a vicious monster but he was quite sweet, really, no worse than any normal lion, so I said, here, kitty, kitty, do you want to live in a nice little home where nobody will chase you with their pesky arrows, and he did. And then I found a dead body of another lion nearby, so I took the liberty to borrow its pelt and use it as a proof for Gabriel. Thankfully, you’re the first person to dare to test its imperviousness to attack!” Aziraphale chuckled weakly and gave the man a worried grin. “Oh, I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing.”
The man shook his head decisively. “Nah, you're a hero, I don't think you can do the wrong thing.” He was quiet for a moment. “So that was your plan for the Hydra? Invite them to live with you and the Nemean Lion and whatever menagerie you’ve acquired so far, and trust that they’re sentient enough to accept and a good enough roommate to make it work?” Was it hope in his voice, poorly concealed behind sarcasm?
“More or less that, yes,” Aziraphale nodded, slightly abashed at how silly this sounded when put like that. “Though I have to point out that the lion is the only inhabitant there so far, and I spend a lot of time traveling, and the grounds of my house are extensive enough that-”
“All right, all right, I’m in,” the man interrupted and slithered closer to Aziraphale. “When do we leave? You can call me Korax, by the way.”
“Gabriel didn’t accept the labour of slaying the Lernaean Hydra, I regret to report. I couldn’t find a deceased snake big enough to pass for even one head of a nine-headed ophidian monster, and he didn’t buy the story of the body sinking into the swamp without a trace. I’ll have to do another labour, I’m afraid.”
“Urgh. This guy is the worst, just like Hera herself. Maybe Nemo and I can help you with the next labours?”
“Nemo…?”
“Oh yes, we’ve been bonding while you’re away. Who’s the good kitty? Nemo’s the best kitty! Our impervious lion enjoys scritches, you know, and it turns out I’m just mythical enough for my claws to hit just the right spot.”