Chapter Text
"Blond-haired, rich, vaguely racist, probably gay men and children first!" Draco called as he pushed his way to the front, swooshing his hair to the side with a set of long, pale fingers. He smirked at the passers-by before leaping fluidly over the barrier, without much notice from the Kaiba Corp henchmen standing guard. From the snatch of the conversation he heard, he could have sworn one of them said "Heil Kaiba!" but he was probably imagining things.
Already inside the lift, Lizzie, or Queen Elizabeth Windsor to you, was leaning against the barrier and surveying the queues below.
"They're such poor little peasants, aren't they?" she mused in a surprisingly innocent sounding voice for the words, as she heard footsteps approaching behind her.
"Quite," Draco responded. "I mean, they probably don't even know how to use the potty properly!" he declared, throwing his arm out to the side, spinning and dropping onto the floor as the doors closed behind him.
"Excuse one?" Lizzie asked. "They can't use the lavatory?"
"I doubt it," Draco huffed. "It is a very difficult skill."
A silence fell over them momentarily as the lift began to move. Draco sat on the floor, rolling a few seconds later across the lift to observe the view from the other side.
"I wonder if this goes all the way to Pigfarts," he mumbled a little while later, and Lizzie gave him a curious look.
"Pigfarts? One's never heard of such a place."
"What? But...but...Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here I come. Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yu-" He hadn't even finished his song when the white lights suddenly burned red and an alarm started blaring.
"What's going on!?" Lizzie exclaimed. "One is not amused by this turn of events!'
"I never get to finish my song," came a whine from the blond-haired diva. "Why do I never get to finish my song?" Lizzie would have responded, but suddenly a voice came over the speakers.
"The Führer would like me to announce that the lift is on fire! We know that you are technically in space where there is no oxygen, but since this is an anime universe, we would like to remind you to go fuck yourself, and to shove any complaints up your butt!"
Draco pouted and turned to the speaker. "But what if they don't fit?"
Lizzie gave a huff, too. "One never fucks oneself. One has servants to do that for her!"
Draco gave her an odd look, but didn't press the matter. He had to admit, this old woman was rather odd. Also, that tiara was very tacky.
Lizzie decided to peer out the window, and was met by nothingness. "That's curious. One doesn't see any fire."
"That'd be because it's the other side of the lift." And, sure enough, as soon as she turned around she was met with orangey flames licking up the sides of the metal.
And, eyes wide, she screamed.
"Jesus, old woman!" Draco near squealed, the effeminate tendencies of his voice getting the better of him in that moment. "I know in space no one can hear you scream, but I don't think the same logic applies to pressurised physically impossible lifts rising up to the space ship of a card-game-obsessed child billionaire with a dragon fetish!"