Archive of Our Own

The bell clangs through the old halls of Gravedale, echoing like a ghostly wail. Inside Room 13, Professor Max Schneider shuffles in with a bulging stack of permission slips in one hand and his tie already crooked from wrestling with the copier machine. His students—the lovable misfit monsters of Gravedale High—are sprawled across their desks, half-dozing, half-causing chaos.

Vinnie is shining his shades with a sly grin, Reggie’s tail keeps knocking over his inkwell, Frankentyke is doodling lightning bolts in his notebook, and Gill is daydreaming about underwater adventures.

“Okay, gang, listen up!” Max calls, trying to sound cheerful but mostly just trying to be heard over Vinnie’s impromptu drum solo on his desk. “I’ve got some big news that doesn’t involve pop quizzes, homework, or… er… detention.”

The class perks up immediately. Even Cleofatra, who had been checking her reflection in a compact mirror, lowers it with interest.

Max clears his throat dramatically, lifting a colorful flyer with a triple-swirled logo on it.
“Ladies, gentlemen, creatures of the night… we’re going on a field trip! To the brand-new Tri-eum!”

A collective gasp, cheer, and groan ripple through the class all at once.

“The Tri-eum?” Gill’s gills flare with excitement. “That’s the place with the living exhibits, right? Like half-zoo, half-museum, half-theme park?”

“That’s three halves, fish-boy,” Vinnie smirks, leaning back in his chair. “But I’m in. Heard they got a roller coaster shaped like a dragon’s spine. Wicked.”

“Did someone say fashion exhibits?” Cleofatra’s eyes sparkle. “Finally, a place that appreciates the finer things!”

“ROOOAR!” Frankentyke pounds his desk. “Franky want rides!”

Max straightens his glasses, grinning despite himself at their enthusiasm. “Yes, yes, the Tri-eum has something for everyone. Science! History! Even… uh… snacks shaped like dinosaurs. But remember, this is still an educational outing. We are guests, and I expect you all to behave.”

The class exchanges skeptical looks, as if “behaving” is some impossible ancient curse.

Vinnie flicks his comb like a switchblade. “Relax, Teach. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Max mutters under his breath: “You have no idea…”

The rickety yellow school bus pulls up in front of the cracked stone steps of Gravedale High, brakes screeching like a banshee with a sore throat. The door creaks open with a hiss of smoke, and the poor bus driver looks like he already regrets volunteering for the assignment.

Max herds the class out with his clipboard in hand. “All right, everyone, line up—no pushing, no biting, no slime trails on the sidewalk, please.”

But the real showstopper isn’t the bus—it’s the students themselves. A few of them had clearly prepared for this trip.

Reggie Moonshroud steps forward first, striking a dramatic pose. He’s wearing a two-piece shirt and pants combo: sleek and sharp, the black fabric covered in neon-green trilobites, orange bones, and purple skulls that seem to glow under the morning light. A jagged green stripe cuts diagonally across his shirt, transforming into an edgy shoulder strap that makes him look like he just stepped out of a rock concert at the Natural History Museum. On his feet, purple shoes shaped like vertebrae clatter with every step. Around his neck dangles a bold necklace with a silver “V” charm in the center—an ironic twist, given it was meant for Vinnie, not himself.
“Darlings,” Reggie says, flicking his cape-like jacket for dramatic effect, “if I’m going to gaze upon the bones of ancient beasts, I might as well out-bone them.”

“Aw, Reggie, you shouldn’t have,” Vinnie grins, flashing his fangs. “But since you’re borrowin’ my letter, guess I’ll return the favor.”

Vinnie Stoker saunters up next, dressed in a bold dark-purple romper splashed with twinkling constellations that seem to shimmer as he moves. A playful puff of blue tulle spills across the front, like a comet tail. His shoes—golden and woven like telescopes—gleam in the sun, with tiny lenses at the tips that sparkle as if they might actually magnify the ground he walks on. Around his neck hangs a heavy gold necklace dotted with tiny stars and a scorpion motif, with a glinting “R” charm swinging in the middle.
“Planetarium chic, baby,” Vinnie says with a wink. “I’ll be the brightest star there. And if I’m not, I’ll just… dim the others.”

Not to be outdone, Gill lumbers forward, clearly pleased with himself. He’s stuffed into a bright magenta bodysuit patterned with jagged black fish bones, hugging his scaly frame like he just leapt out of a high-fashion aquarium. Splashes of teal swipes streak across the outfit in random places, as if painted on by crashing waves. His shoes are see-through teal, molded into snarling fish. The open jaws form the heels—rows of big teeth chomping with every step—while the fish skeletons wrap around his ankles as straps. In his hand, he clutches a novelty sippy cup shaped like a shark’s head, complete with a wide-open mouth for the straw.
“Whaddaya think?” Gill beams, doing a twirl that nearly knocks over Frankentyke. “Natural history’s got bones, but the aquarium’s got fins. Figured I’d bring both!”

Frankentyke snorts. “Franky think Gill look like sushi.”

“Yeah, but high-end sushi,” Gill shoots back, sipping proudly from his shark cup.

Max rubs his temples, muttering, “Why, oh why didn’t I just assign a book report?” Then he waves them toward the bus. “All right, fashion show’s over. Let’s get moving before this place opens and we miss the educational experience—and I emphasize educational.”

The students pile in, chattering and arguing about what exhibits to see first. The bus engine groans like a monster waking from hibernation, and as it lurches forward down the cracked road, Max Schneider sighs heavily.
“Just once,” he says under his breath, “I’d like a field trip where nothing explodes, escapes, or… eats us.”

Cue thunder in the distance.