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“Oh my god. What is that.” Wemmbu asks in horror, staring at Egg’s hoodie that says ‘Mess with me and face HIM’ with an arrow pointing to the right. Egg grins. Oh no.
“It’s aura right? I got you a matching one.” He says evilly, lifting up a hoodie. It says ‘HIM’ on it, with a galaxy wolf at the bottom.
“I am not wearing that. Bro that’s– genuinely might be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.” Wemmbu shakes his head. Egg cackles.
“Dude, Loppezz said they were tough!” Egg steps towards him. Wemmbu’s hand twitches for a weapon, but he left his pocket knife in the kitchen. Egg’s lucky today.
“And you trusted Loppezz why?” He asks, backing away. He is not wearing that wretched hoodie. No way.
“She know everything there is to know about fashion. Dude, she liked Orb’s costume. She has to at least know something.” Egg backs him into a corner, and puts the hoodie over his head. Wemmbu cringes, and really wants to fight back, but he lets Egg have his way.
“Orbital’s costume that was four different, ugly, colors,,,” Wemmbu asks. Egg pulls the hoodie down. Wemmbu puts his arms through it, and looks down. Yeah. It’s still stupid.
“Loppezz said it ate.” Egg grins, backing away to get a look. Wemmbu puts his head in his hands. “We actually might be the two tuffest guys in town.”
“Whyyyy would you trust Loppezz?” Wemmbu groans, dragging his hands down his face.
“I told you bro, she’s good at stuff like this,” Egg says, then stands on Wemmbu’s left side, and takes out his phone. “We gotta see how it looks.”
“Dumb. It looks dumb.” Wemmbu glares, but looks at the camera. Egg immediately starts laughing.
“Dude no way– Oh my god. Holy cornball. We’re actually genuinely so tuff. I have to send this to Loppezz. Hang on.” He takes a photo, then lowers his phone and goes to Discord. “This might be a contender for the greatest photo of all time.”
“I’m actually not leaving the house.” Wemmbu sighs, watching Egg send the photo. “You have the most boring contact names, bro.”
“Br– it’s quite literally just their name. What else am I supposed to do, bro?” He argues, like a guy who isn’t creative. Doesn’t have a drop of whimsy to his name. Loppezz sends a bunch of hearts and an ‘OH MY GOD’.
“Add like– you gotta add hearts or like an emoji. I have her name– oh nicknames, you gotta do nicknames. Her contact is like ‘Lopey’ with two snowman emojis.” Wemmbu explains. Egg sends a fire emoji to her, then looks back at Wemmbu, putting his phone away.
“Crazy work,” Is all he says, then moves towards the door. Wemmbu follows without even meaning to.
“Dude the crazy work is this hoodie combo,” Wemmbu grimaces, and looks down at his chest again. Yeah. It really doesn’t get better. “I can’t believe you…”
“We have to go shopping, by the way,” Egg adds offhandedly. Wemmbu wants to grab his wrist to stop him from leaving the apartment.
“What.” He says instead, genuinely not comprehending how this guy could possibly think that is a good idea. Egg opens the door, and holds it for Wemmbu. Oh my god. “Are we being for real.”
“Yes dude, I’m out of cat food. And you’re out of noodles. And you need more fruits in your life.” Egg decides, and Wemmbu walks out. “We have to keep the hoodies on. It’s cold out.”
“Bro, Egg, is this like. Did someone dare you to wear these atrocious hoodies with me or something? Because I can like, kill them. Y’know– we’re– we’re allowed to just not do things. You need to stop being a sheep, bro.” He’s basically pleading at this point. Most nightmarish fit to wear in public. They both walk into the elevator.
“No one else is involved, man. Just me and you and our awesome wolf hoodies. And Loppezz’s thoughts.” Egg nods, and presses the ground floor.
“You aren’t allowed to talk to Loppezz anymore,” Wemmbu says, and follows Egg (Who, by the way, is laughing), because what else is he supposed to do.
They walk down the front steps of their apartment building, and onto the sidewalk. Wait, they’re… They’re walking? They’re walking to the grocery store. With these hoodies. He thanks the lord that there’s not a lot of cars or people out.
And for all the evil that the hoodies are, it is keeping him cozy.
Their walk is pretty peaceful, until they get near the park. The amount of people walking their dogs and kids on skateboards increases, and each time someone looks at them, Wemmbu wants to hide further in the ground. He offers a broken man’s smile to each person, trying to say this was not my idea. It never works. But it’s the thought that counts.
“The falls pretty nice. We should go on more walks, with actual hoodies.” Wemmbu fixes Egg a look.
“Well, it’s keeping me warm,” Egg says, and someone else passes by them. Wemmbu half-forces a smile. “I think they’re good hoodies. Now people know not to mess with us.”
No way he said that out loud. In public.
“Not a chance you’re being serious,” Wemmbu huffs, and they walk into the park. It’s prettier than the street, with all the colorful trees and grass. Shame their hoodies are ruining it.
“Nah I’m–” Egg starts giggling. “Yo, I’m joking, I’m joking!”
“Dude, if you weren’t I’d genuinely have to punch you,” Wemmbu tells him. Egg starts laughing again. Apparently the world gets laugh-y Egg today. Wemmbu certainly isn’t complaining. He likes Egg’s laugh.
“Yo!” Egg says loudly, grinning. “Not that serious, brother. You’d punch me over that?”
“Yeah,” Wemmbu nods. Egg makes a hurt noise, which makes Wemmbu look over at him. “Not actually, dude. Dumbass.”
“Brother I know,” Egg glances at him, then his eyes catch on something behind Wemmbu. Wemmbu turns. “Yoo, Minute.”
MinuteTech looks up from his phone, then smiles welcomingly.
“Oh, Minute, what’s up man!” Wemmbu calls, and starts over. Minute’s eyes drift down the their shirts, and his face falls.
Oh wait–
“What are those hoodies.” Minute asks once they’re close enough, tone dead serious. Wemmbu wants to hide in a corner. Egg.
“They’re– it wasn’t my idea. Dude, let it be known I Really don’t want to be wearing these.” Wemmbu pleads, ignoring the way Egg is snickering. Genuinely maybe the worst person alive.
“Why would you let anyone make you wear this, man?” Minute sighs, staring daggers at Egg’s hoodie.
“Yo, my eyes are up here,” Egg says, then starts laughing. Wemmbu doesn’t mean to smile.
“Egg make you do this?” Minute looks over at Wemmbu. He nods. “Makes sense then.”
Wemmbu flinches.
“Wh– what do you mean it makes sense?” He asks incredulously. Minute gives him a look, but he has no idea what that could even mean. “What!?”
“I’m just saying,” Minute starts, and looks between them. “You do things for Egg you wouldn’t do for other people.”
And he– Wemmbu doesn’t really know what to say to that. Why would Minute even say that???
“Au– n– Dude no I don’t!” He laughs, confused. Egg makes an ‘mmm I dunno…’ sound, and Wemmbu turns to him. “Bro. No I don’t. You’re just– I don’t know! I treat you like anybody else.”
“Mhm…” Egg nods slowly. “Yo, you gotta admit you act a little different around me.”
Is it clock Wemmbu day?? What IS this?????
“N– fffh– wh– I don… I don’t–! I don’t act weirrrd around you..!” He tries to defend. “Gimmie– Gimmie an example. Like, of when I–”
“Brother, right now,” Egg cuts him off, and Minute nods. Egg has this stupid smile on his face. Like, teasing but still sweet. Wemmbu’s gonna actually kill himself.
“What could I possibly be doing right now that’s treating you differently?” He questions, addled. Egg gestures at the hoodies. “I– You made me!”
“You would’ve stopped someone else. Dude, I know you. I’m in your head. We are one.” Egg nods wisely, voice going serious. Wemmbu hits him. “Yo chill!”
“You guys are crazy,” Wemmbu decides. “I don’t act different around Egg. You are crazy.”
“That’s not even mentioning how differently Egg acts around you, Wemmbu,” Minute starts, leadingly. Egg instantly puts his hands up.
“Woah woah woah, let’s not– let’s not get uh–” He says, and Minute starts laughing. Wemmbu looks between them. “Let’s not act rash–”
“You act differently around me?” Wemmbu furrows his brow. Both of them look at him.
“No,” Egg says quickly, at the same time Minute says “How are you two so oblivious?”
Which Wemmbu– well, one, he takes offense to that, two:
“Brother oblivious to what?” He asks. “I swear to god, you two are the most confusing people ever. What are you even genuinely talking about?”
Minute laughs and shakes his head. Wemmbu splutters.
“You’ll get there eventually. The hoodies are horrific.” Minute redirects. Wemmbu is about to swerve the topic right back, but Egg starts laughing again. And– Wemmbu will go with the topic that makes Egg laugh, not the one that makes him nervous.
“They’re amazing,” Egg grins. Wemmbu wants to cry. “Loppezz suggested I get them for us.”
“They’re… something, all right,” Minute raises his eyebrows, then looks at Wemmbu. “Wemmbu, Y’know, if you need help…”
“Minute he’s so abusive,” Wemmbu fake cries into his hands. Both of them start laughing at him.
“Bro– Nah because I didn’t even do anything, I just wanted to go to the store–” Egg starts, and when Wemmbu looks over he has the silliest, dumbest beam on his face.
“Brother you did everything! What on earth are these hoodies! This should count as like– This has to be like, a crime or something.” Wemmbu exclaims, and Egg just grins wider.
“You two are crazy,” Minute says, and turns to start walking away. “Hm. You should also go to the store before it gets too busy.”
Egg straightens up, then turns to Wemmbu. Wemmbu glares.
“Yo, he’s lowkey right. I know you wouldn’t know this because I always do all your shopping–” (Egg ignores Wemmbu protesting) “–but this store closes kinda early. Like, six pm early.”
“Wait what– And you didn’t think to tell me sooner, bro??” Wemmbu grabs Egg’s wrist, and starts toward the store.
“Have fun,” Minute waves, and Egg waves back.
“We will, don’t worry,” His lips curve up. Wemmbu scowls.
“Brother, hurry up.” He groans, and drags at Egg. His hand slips from Egg’s wrist to his hand.
Egg turns back, and picks up his pace. “Alright, chill, chill, I’m moving. Do you remember the list?”
“No?” Wemmbu says, idly swinging their hands. “The list is your job.”
“Brother, then what’s yours?? Are you just sitting around and looking pretty? Like what?” Egg shakes his head, then pulls out his phone. “Be my eyes for a sec lowkey.”
“Yo, bro, we aren’t even in the store yet. You can pull out the list later.” Wemmbu urges. “You said they close at six– it’s like. Five!”
“We’ll be quick!” Egg assures him, and puts his phone away. “It’s like a three minute walk from here. And then like a ten minute trip.”
“I don’t wanna be there like– five minutes before they close. That’s an asshole move.” Wemmbu surveys the buildings around them. The trees are still pretty here, with falling leaves. “I would know. I hate when people do that.”
“Lowkey what’re you doing when I come to Walmart and stay late specifically asking you where the fruit is?” Egg teases. Wemmbu squeezes his hand tighter and glares at the empty sidewalk in front of him.
“Genuinely never letting you into my apartment again.” He says flatly. Egg starts breathing out laughter.
“Yo, that would be the final straw?” He confirms, glancing at Wemmbu.
“It would be the only straw you need,” Wemmbu tells him. Egg smiles, and Wemmbu can’t help but smile back at him.
They make it to the grocery store actually pretty quickly. Egg grabs a basket from the stack instead of a cart, and when Wemmbu asks, says that they aren’t carrying a whole cart of groceries home. Which is fair.
“Okay, what was on the list?” Wemmbu asks, once they’re in the store, off to the side of the entrance. Egg takes out his phone, basket around his arm.
“Uhhh,” He says, and scrolls down to something. “We need -cat food -noodles -strawberries -razzberries and that creamer you hate.”
“Oh, the gross pumpkin spice stuff?” Wemmbu crinkles his nose, and starts surveying for anything Egg just listed.
“Dude. Loppezz put me on. You genuinely do not understand how peak it is.” Egg argues, and brushes Wemmbu’s side to signify they’re moving. Wemmbu follows.
“Again: never trust Loppezz with anything. She has maybe the worst takes ever.” Wemmbu tells him. Egg shakes his head.
“You’re actually just a D1 Loppezz hater. We understand each other.” He says, and turns right. The sign over the area lists a handful of bread-stuff, including noodles.
“I don’t hate Loppezz,” Wemmbu sighs, and a kid points at their hoodies. He turns around and blocks both of their hoodies from the kid’s view.
Egg turns to examine a label, and almost bumps into him.
“What’s up dude,” Egg says after he blinks, box of noodles in hand. Wemmbu steps away, rolling his eyes.
“Some kid pointed at our hoodies.” He says, and looks at the box. Egg looks down too, flipping it over.
“Probably because they’re super cool,” He hums playfully. Wemmbu groans and takes another step back. Egg just laughs.
Wemmbu follows Egg down the aisles, and Egg makes him carry the very heavy cat food because ‘Only one of us works out here, and its not me’ even though Wemmbu sits at a cash register all day, and Egg frolics in wetlands. The walk back to their apartment has Egg carrying the two paper bags, and Wemmbu complaining about how tired his arms are.
Egg’s nice though, and puts away the groceries by himself.
- - -
(“Do we actually act different around each other?” Wemmbu asks as Egg’s unpacking the groceries
“I mean, dude, you gotta admit we’re close,” Egg acknowledges. Wemmbu worries his lip.
“So Minute was just saying we act like best friends?” He prompts, and Egg pauses.
“... yeah probably,” Egg shrugs, sounding genuine. Wemmbu nods.)