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Dan Feng sighed loudly, stomping as fast as he could toward Yingxing's forge. As always, the council meeting went on longer than expected, and the sky had already turned dark. But he knew that Yingxing was definitely very much awake. His knowledge of his habits alone would have been enough, but he could also feel the warmth radiating from the bracers. He was always colder when asleep.
But he noticed that recently Yingxing's body temperature has been lower even during the day.
He knew why. After all, by spending time with Yingxing, he learned a lot about common people. Sometimes he preferred that former life of ignorance. Without painful and harsh truths.
For some reason though, it was unusually warm that day. Dan Feng frowned and quickened his pace. He wanted to see him.
No.
He needed to see him. As soon as possible.
He quickly found himself in front of the forge and, without asking for permission, went inside. He was immediately greeted by the familiar blast of heat. He loved staying here with Yingxing. Dan Feng often fell asleep unconsciously due to the temperature. The man often laughed at the High Elder for this, comparing him to a heat-seeking reptile, but he never objected to his prolonged visits. He knew he never minded them.
The blacksmith was sitting on a chair, leaning against his legs, with his back to him. He expected that the man would now be in a fervor of work. He didn't even turn around when he came in. He wagged his tail indignantly and walked over to Yingxing. He stopped in front of him and grabbed him by the chin, lifting his head toward him. Yingxing's eyes were slightly misty and anguished. Concern overshadowed his anger for a moment, but it did not last long as he saw the cup in his beloved's hand. He tilted his head in bewilderment.
Yingxing never drank during work. The craft was always approached professionally by him.
He let him go and moved away lightly, scrutinizing him with his eyes. "Drinking alone while working? I see that your drunken habits are evolving every day," he said wryly.
The other man merely shrugged dismissively and tilted the glass to his lips, drinking its contents. "Let an old man indulge a little," he said, reaching for the alcohol next to him.
Only then did Dan Feng notice a wound on Yingxing's hand. The man has suffered many wounds and scars throughout his life, but that one was pretty foul. Looked like a severe burn.
"What happened?" he said, indicating the injured area with a nod.
The other man bit his lip slightly at those words, and started pouring another cup. "My hand slipped," he said casually, but Dan Feng could see the bitterness written all over his face.
Yingxing still hadn't looked at him even once of his own accord, which was slowly driving him crazy. "Slipped?" he echoed, trying to remain composed. There was something wrong with Yingxing's behavior.
"Yes, did I not make it clear? Could it be that your body is also getting worse with age?" he uttered sarcastically, staring at the full cup and swirling its contents absentmindedly.
Those words were enough to drain the patience of the High Elder. So pontifically, with an icy voice, he gave the other man a short, but emphatic order, "Yingxing, look at me."
The other man had frozen, and then immediately turned his wide-open eyes toward Dan Feng.
"Don't talk to me like that ever again," he addressed him gravely and folded his hands over his chest. "You're an old man, you said that yourself. So start talking to me like an adult, not like a fussy child." Lastly, he flicked his tail, emphasizing his statement.
Yingxing stared at him blankly. After initial surprise there was a spark of revolt in his eyes, but Dan Feng quickly stifled it, giving him a sharp look. For a moment, a silent battle raged between them, which Yingxing finally surrendered, sighing resignedly and putting his glass aside.
He held his hands out in front of him and began to speak vaguely, "They don't do that." Dan Feng watched him closely, observing how he moved his fingers and looked at them with consternation. "My hands. They don't slip," he squeezed out the last word with frustration in his voice.
He knew that Yingxing was a perfectionist. That was probably why he was so sullen. But there was something disturbing about his attitude.
He seemed almost broken.
"So, you're acting like this just because of a hand slip?"
"It wasn't just a hand slip," he ran his hand through his hair and looked at Dan Feng with a tormented expression. "I felt as if I had…" he gestured with his hands vaguely, collecting his thoughts, "lost control of my body. It was different."
Ah. So that's what it was all about.
Dan Feng was aware of the fragility of short-life species. They are born only to die soon after. Their bodies decompose in a peculiar way even before the final end. But Yingxing had always been flaunting of who he was. He took pride in the fact that, despite his short life, he had achieved much more than most of long-lived races.
And Dan Feng loved that about him. He loved this arrogance, his awareness of his own strengths and abilities. Despite hating being reminded of how little time he had left with Yingxing, he loved this determination.
He tried not to think about the inevitable separation and aging of his beloved. He shook himself off internally. "So what? If the tool slips out of your hand, you just need to pick it up and try again," he said plainly, scrutinizing him with his eyes.
"You know damn well that's not what I'm talking about," he gave him an angry look, "this body-"
He knew what Yingxing meant. He understood it too well. But he couldn't let him lose himself. "The man I fell in love with was always proud of it," that shut Yingxing up, and he continued, "He once told me that even if they chopped off his hands, he would create with his feet, and if they took those away too, he would use his mouth." He moved closer to Yingxing and looked down at him. "Where is that man now? Could the slightest obstacle be enough to break him?" He said these last words with a challenge in his voice.
Yingxing widened his eyes and stood up abruptly. "Of course not!" He denied indignantly. "That was just…" he furrowed his brow and sighed. "You're right, it's not like me to wallow in self-pity. Thank you for cutting that short."
Dan Feng gave him a pleased look at those words. Then Yingxing smiled and placed one hand on his lover's cheek and pulled him close by the waist with the other, kissing him deeply.
The Vidyadhara purred contentedly, but his pleasure was quickly interrupted. Yingxing broke away from him rapidly and uttered, full of energy again, "I must carry on with this project. You see that is-"
Dan Feng immediately stopped Yingxing, who was already fleeing, and said firmly, "Not when you are drunk. I am not gonna let you to work in this state, only for you to mess something and fall into despair again." He pulled him onto the bench and laid his beloved's head on his lap. "Sleep. I know that you will not be able to sleep all night when you are so buzzed, so at least take a nap and then continue."
"You gave me so much motivation, and now you're making me wait? You're a cruel ruler."
Dan Feng waved his tail and replied curtly, “No one forced you to drink.”
Yingxing laughed sweetly, and Dan Feng couldn't help but smile. "Fine, I surrender." He took the Vidyadhara's hand and kissed it tenderly. "You are truly my anchor, baobeir."
You're mine too
The words sent warmth through his body. "In that case, when I visit you, do not ignore me. If you do something like that again, I will chew you up and then consume you whole," he whispered in a tranquil tone, looking Yingxing straight in the eye.
The other man's pupils dilated visibly. "If you thought those words would evoke anything other than excitement in me, you're more naive than I thought."
Dan Feng felt desire rising within him. Yingxing knew how easy it was to arouse his hunger. He grabbed his face and began massaging the delicate skin under his eyes, already slightly covered with wrinkles. "Don't. Neither of us has the energy for that right now."
Yingxing squinted alluringly and murmured, "Of course, whatever you command, my lord."
Dan Feng had to take a deep breath to compose himself and just uttered quietly, "That will not work on me. Go to sleep."
Yingxing laughed and snuggled up into his lap. Dan Feng placed his hand on his head and began to gently stroke his beloved's hair.
After a few minutes, Yingxing broke the silence, beginning almost in a whisper, "Dan Feng."
"Yingxing."
"I know that our time together is just a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of your life."
The man's heart ached deeply at those words, but he tried not to show it, merely humming lightly in answer.
"But I always wished that this little fragment would be the most significant part of it. I don't want you to forget me even after I die, I don't want you to get over me. Not in this life," he spoke as if in a trance, looking deeply at the man above him.
Yingxing looked so beautiful on his lap. His marvelous long white hair was tangled everywhere, and his face, marked by the passage of time, further emphasized his beauty. Those hypnotizing violet eyes stared at him with devotion.
"How could I ever?" He felt his throat tighten.
Yingxing gulped. "But sometimes my desire goes further, deeper, when my greed knows no bounds. I would like you not to forget me even in your next incarnations, I want my existence to be engraved in your soul." He took a deep breath. "That's pretty selfish right?" He laughed dryly.
For a moment, Dan Feng stared at him, frozen, but the man didn't have to wait long for his answer. The Vidyadhara placed his hand on the man's cheek and said fiercely, "You should already know that I adore everything about you, even that." Dan Feng began to wrap his tail around his lover's body and continued, "I want your desires, your greed, everything. Even if this longing were to finally break me. I don't care." He finished his resolution by placing a kiss on the man's forehead.
They stared at each other with teary eyes and said nothing more. There was no need to. Finally, both of them, with hearts that were both heavy and light, fell asleep.
•······•••○•••······•
Dan Feng stirred awake to the heavy sounds of metal hammering. He realized that he was covered with a blanket, which he immediately wrapped himself in. While doing so, he was greeted by the sight of Yingxing working on something, visibly focused and satisfied. Dan Feng loved watching his beloved during his crafting.
In the past, he had trouble understanding how short-life species are motivated to do anything, to put effort into what they love, when it will be taken away from them so quickly. Yingxing allowed him to get that, to grasp human passion and determination. That the shorter a person's life, the more often it is fuller and more diligent. Because they are running against time. They want to leave something behind, something that will outlive them.
Yingxing really made him understand so much.
He didn't know how much time has passed, but all this time he hadn't taken his eyes off Yingxing. He could do this even longer, spending days watching his verve.
But finally, the sun rose, and the other man finished his work. He started to admire his creation. It took him a while to snap out of his trance. He turned his head toward Dan Feng.
"Oh, I woke you up?" He looked at him somewhat surprised, as if it were strange that such noises had caused it, which amused him. He didn't intend to tell him that he hadn't slept for a long time.
Yingxing approached him happily and held out what looked like a fancy spear. "It's amazing, isn't it?" he said with a broad smile, squinting his eyes.
Dan Feng was unable to tear his gaze away from the sight before him. Yingxing looked so happy. He would love him to always look like this. He craved to be with him until the end of their days.
He will do everything to make sure that happens. He had time. He will not let himself or anyone else ever forget him.
Whatever it took.
"Mhm, it's beautiful," he uttered enchanted, without even glancing at the spear.