Archive of Our Own

He’s back in jail. It’s not Belle Reve, but they’re all the same, really. There’s a beauty to it. He doesn’t have to decide where to go or what to do or when to eat. The guards shuffle him along and move him from place to place.

On his second day in, he trips a big guy he can tell is juicing. Sure enough, the guy flips and starts kicking the shit out of him. It’s what he wanted. He thinks of Harcourt as he hits the ground, thinks of her in bar fights. He always understood why she did it, even if he wished she wouldn’t.

He doesn’t know how many days he’s been in when the guard comes in and says, “Smith. Up.”

“I said I don’t want any visitors,” Chris snaps. It’s playing with fire to talk like that to a guard, but maybe one of them will get fed up and knock him around a little. He knows he’s fucked up for wanting that; he’s stopped trying to fight it.

“Not visitors,” the guard says. “You’re out.”

“What?” Chris asks.

“You made bail,” the guard says.

“No,” Chris says. There’s no fucking way that’s possible. They set his bail at a million dollars. Even with a bondsman, that’s $100 grand. There is no one on Earth who has that kind of money who’d be willing to spend it on Chris.

Not on this Earth. And not on any Earth anymore. Maybe the other Auggie would’ve, but Adrian fucking killed him. Chris found one version of his dad who might not think he’s a complete waste of space and knowing Chris for a few days got him killed.

“You made bail,” the guard says, impatient now. “Get the fuck out.”

Chris doesn’t have a choice. He follows the guard out and does all his processing out. He stares at his other-dimension Peacemaker suit for a long time. He really doesn’t want to put it back on, but that’s what he came in wearing.

“Hurry the fuck up,” the guard dealing with him barks. Chris grits his teeth and blanks out his mind so he can put it back on. They buzz him through the door and he blinks a little in the sunlight.

“Peacemaker!”

Oh, Jesus Christ. Of course Adrian’s waiting right outside. Harcourt, Adebayo, and Economos are there, too. Chris has no idea how they did it, but they’re obviously the ones who bailed him out.

“Why the fuck did you bail me out?” Chris asks.

“Why the fuck do you think?” Harcourt shoots back.

“Where’d you even get the money?” Chris asks. None of them have that kind of cash. They’re all almost homeless.

“Adrian’s drug money,” Economos says.

That actually stops Chris for a second. “You used money you took from criminals?” That doesn’t sound like Adrian at all.

“Of course, dude,” Adrian says, grinning. “I’m not going to leave my BFF in jail again! I didn’t have the money last time or I would’ve totally gotten you out of there.” Ads gives him a look that tells Chris it was not Adrian’s idea and he took some convincing and now wants the credit, but she doesn’t say anything.

“I’m not your BFF,” Chris spits. He shoves Adrian to the ground.

“Chris!” Ads says.

"What the fuck, man?" Economos asks.

Adrian doesn’t freak out or anything like that. He just topples to the ground. Chris feels a little sick, seeing him fall like that. He thinks of Keith as a kid and Keith as a grown man with everyone beating on him and he has to swallow hard so he doesn’t puke.

Adrian just stays on the ground on his ass with his head tilted. “What?”

“You killed my fucking dad!” Chris reminds him. He knows it wasn’t really Adrian’s fault, but Adrian makes it so fucking easy to take it out on him.

“You killed him first,” Adrian says defensively. “I didn’t even kill your dad. I killed a different version of your dad. A guy who had Economos tied up and stabbed a knife through his hand. In a Nazi dimension.” He sounds genuinely confused.

“He wasn’t a Nazi!” Chris says. “He said he wasn’t and he didn’t agree with them.”

“Well, what was he doing to not be a Nazi?” Adrian asks.

“What?” Chris says.

“He wasn’t part of the Sons of Liberty,” Adrian says. “The other me would’ve known. So what was he doing that made him not a Nazi?”

Chris opens his mouth but realizes he has nothing to say to that. He looks around at everyone else for some backup, but no one’s offering any help there. Economos won’t even meet his eyes. Adrian obviously already got to them. Not that he’s ever very convincing or logical, but still.

“He’s got a point,” Ads says. “Sorry, Chris, but…” She shrugs at him. “You told me you guys were all celebrated and famous. Top Trio, right? So he obviously didn’t have that much issue with the Nazis. Didn’t he go out and fight the resistance?”

Chris doesn’t know what to say to that. He killed a bunch of those terrorist guys when he thought it was the right thing to do. The resistance. And then Keith blew up that helicopter. Auggie had to be doing that stuff, too, didn’t he? Chris swallows hard. Was Auggie doing anything to help people?

“And he had Economos all tied up,” Adrian repeats. “I couldn’t risk him killing you guys.”

“We have to go,” Harcourt says before Chris can come up with any kind of response. Adrian scrambles up and everybody starts walking away, assuming Chris will follow them. “Flag’s up to some shit.”

“What kind of shit?” Chris asks. He decides to ignore Adrian for now. It’s pissing him off that Adrian’s kind of right. It’s especially pissing him off that he didn’t even think of that. He was just so frozen, seeing Adrian coming through that window. He didn’t have time to think of anything.

“Looking through other dimensions. We’re not sure why.”

“Well, good luck,” Chris says. “I can’t do anything.”

Everybody stops walking and looks back at him. “What?” Economos asks. “I’m the biggest pussy here and I’m helping.”

“It was his idea,” Harcourt adds.

“Why would you bring me?” Chris asks. He meant to sound mad but his voice comes out small. He can’t get a deep enough breath to be mad. “I’ll just get you all killed.”

“Keith didn’t die, Chris,” Harcourt says quietly. “You stopped that.”

“This time,” Chris says. “Not last time and not next time. Everyone around me fucking dies.”

“Chris,” Ads starts, but Chris cannot do this. He can’t take them trying to cheer him up or act like he’s not a complete waste of space. Ads is a good person who wants everyone else to feel good, so she’ll act like Chris is some great guy. He can’t take it.

“Good luck,” Chris repeats. He turns and walks away in the opposite direction.

“Peacemaker!” Adrian calls after him.

“Adrian, don’t,” he hears Ads say. “Let him go.”

“Well, Eagly’s at my house, if you even care!” Adrian yells.

That stops Chris. “Thank you,” he says, because taking care of Eagly does require thanks. But he doesn’t turn around. None of them try to stop him this time, and he takes off.

He doesn’t know where to go. First and foremost, he wants to change his goddamn clothes. But his trailer’s probably completely trashed by now since he’s been gone for months, and A.R.G.U.S. raided his dad’s house. Plus, he doesn’t want to go to his dad’s house. It wasn’t the same house in the other dimension, but the last thing Chris needs is his dad’s ghost right now.

He’s getting looks out on the street. He wonders if he was on the news this time and now people think he’s some kind of enemy of the state. Fuck, he became an enemy of the state in the other dimension, too, but that’s a good thing there. He should’ve become an enemy of that state way sooner. Chris squeezes his head between his hands for a second, which does nothing to stop the freaked out looks people are giving him.

He makes himself nut up and go back to Auggie’s house. The doors are all wide open, because those A.R.G.U.S. dicks didn’t even have the decency to close them. The house is trashed. Chris steps over a broken chair and ignores it all. He just needs some clothes.

He rips off the other Peacemaker suit and thinks about Keith’s blood on his hands. He sprints to the bathroom and makes it before he pukes. Then he takes the hottest shower he can stand and scrubs his skin until it hurts.

He has to lie on the floor for a while. He’s not even crying or anything; he’s just lying there, staring at the ceiling. Everything is so much fucking work. He needs a drink, but even getting up to get one is too hard. He finds his phone in a pile of dirty laundry on the floor and turns it on. A few texts from Ads from just before they followed him through the door and 203 messages from Adrian. Jesus Christ.

He opens the text thread just to make the notification go away and shakes his head at what he sees. Adrian was texting him while he was in jail, just like when he was in Belle Reve. But Ads must’ve tried to explain that Chris’s headspace wasn’t great. One of the texts is a picture of a kitten hanging by a paw from a tree with the text hang in there! Another one has a picture of a sunset and says you are important. Chris lets his phone drop to the floor. He’s not going to even try to deal with that.

He puts on his normal clothes, even though nothing feels normal right now. The only thing he can think to do is go find Eagly. Even if it’s better for Eagly if Chris leaves him alone, he at least wants to say goodbye.

Chris doesn’t know why he thought Eagly would just be in Adrian’s house alone. This is Adrian’s mom’s house. Chris opens the door without knocking and freezes when he steps inside.

Eagly’s perched on the kitchen table and Adrian’s mom is feeding him slices of ham. “Hi, Chris,” she says, like he’s still in high school and it hasn’t been 15 years since they’ve seen each other and he didn’t just walk inside her house without knocking. “Adrian showed me how to feed your bird here!”

“Thanks, Mrs. Chase,” he says.

“I’m glad you’re out of jail,” she says. “I know Adrian was having such a hard time with you gone.” Chris ignores the way his stomach clenches. “He wasn’t getting much sleep with the bed so empty.”

“Uh…what?” Chris asks. Maybe he didn’t hear what she said.

“I can’t pretend I wasn’t surprised when he told me you two were dating!” she says. “But it does make sense now that he’d break up with that nice Hardcore girl.”

“We…” Chris is short-circuiting a little. Adrian apparently told his mom they’re dating? It’s not that big of a surprise, really, if he stops to think about it. But he’s not going to stop to think about it too much. Eagly still hasn’t moved. He hasn’t even looked at Chris. “Eagly?”

Eagly turns to look at him and squawks but doesn’t move. “He’s got two more pieces of ham,” Mrs. Chase says. So Chris just stands there while she hand-feeds Eagly the rest of the ham. “He’s such a good eater!” she praises, like Eagly’s a little kid or something. Eagly doesn’t seem to mind. He wouldn’t; he’s getting food.

“We gotta go, buddy,” Chris says. Eagly hops off the table and comes over to Chris. “Thanks, Mrs. Chase,” Chris says again.

“You’re welcome,” she says brightly. “He can stay any time. He’s very polite.”

Chris has no idea what makes an eagle seem polite, and Eagly sure hasn’t shown a lot of manners in Chris’s experience, but he doesn’t contradict her. He starts walking back toward his dad’s house mostly because he has no idea where else to go.

Eagly digs his claws into Chris’s shoulder and Chris stops, crying out in pain. “What’s wrong?” Chris asks. Eagly doesn’t do anything except look off in the other direction. “We’re going home, dude,” Chris tells him. Eagly screeches at him. “Come on, man, what’s the deal?” Chris asks. Eagly just digs his claws into Chris’s shoulder again. “Fuck, ow!”

Eagly jumps off Chris’s shoulder and flies back to Adrian’s house. He pecks at the door with his beak and Mrs. Chase lets him back in like that’s totally normal.

“Eagly!” Chris yells, but Eagly doesn’t look back. Mrs. Chase waves before she closes the door. “Fuck,” Chris mutters to himself. Even Eagly doesn’t want him around.

What’s he supposed to do now? He goes back to his dad’s house because it’s the only place he can think to go. Ads is sitting on the curb outside.

“Hi,” she says when she sees him. She stands up and looks at him. “You’re really fucked up.”

“Yeah, I know,” Chis says. What a way to start a conversation.

“I mean…” She sighs. “Chris, you need help. And we need your help.”

“I can’t.” His voice breaks and he looks away. “Look what happens when I try to be good, Ads. The only version of my dad who’s ever loved me, and I got him killed. And you guys were all going to kill Keith because you thought you had to for me.”

“I was going to kill Keith because he was a Nazi,” Ads says matter-of-factly. “And he joined a mob that was chasing me.”

“I…” That’s true. Keith said it himself.

“I only didn’t kill him for you, Chris,” Ads says. “He yelled one got out and people were chasing me. A mob. If Judomaster hadn’t saved me—” She cuts herself off, and Chris can see tears shining in her eyes. It makes his throat tight. He sits down on the curb where she just was.

“I’m sorry, Ads,” he says. “See? This is why I can’t help. I fuck everything up.”

Ads puts her hands on her face for a second and blows out a breath. “Chris,” she says. “You’re making this about you so I have to comfort you. After they tried to kill me or put me in a camp or something.” Chris can’t talk for a second. He didn’t mean to do that. “I love you,” she says. “I’m trying so hard to be here for you, because your head is not on straight and you need me. You need all of us. And I don’t want you to do anything crazy. But I need—” Her voice breaks.

Chris stands up and pulls her into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. She starts to cry for real, leaning against him, and Chris has to close his eyes.

“I was so fucking scared,” she sobs. “I didn’t know where any of you were and they were all running after me screaming.”

“I should’ve been there,” Chris says. “You never should’ve been there. I shouldn’t have tried running the fuck away, Ads, I’m sorry. I should’ve known you’d find a way to come after me.” She’s too good. She cares too much, even when she shouldn’t.

She pushes back and wipes at her eyes. She shudders a little. “Yeah, you should’ve,” she agrees. “Because you’re my best friend, you fucking idiot. I love you, Chris. I’m not just going to leave you or let you leave us.”

Chris nods, looking at his feet. “I just wanted…” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Ads. I’m so sorry. I just wanted my dad and Keith and Emilia. It was—people loved me.”

“People love you here,” she insists. “Chris.”

“You shouldn’t,” Chris mumbles. “But they shouldn’t have loved me, either. They shouldn’t have loved that version of me.” No one should love any version of him. That version was a violent Nazi, and he’s…whatever the hell he is. He can only imagine what other versions of him are out there.

“Well, I do,” Ads says. “We all do. And right now we need you, Chris. Flag is into some scary shit, and we can’t do it on our own.”

“I can’t help,” Chris says. “Ads, I’m sorry, but I can’t. Look at me. I can’t do anything. I fuck up everything. Cross-dimensional fuck up.” He’s not even crying. He’s just telling the truth.

Ads looks at him for a minute. She shakes her head. “You’re just giving up?”

That classification pinches at him. He doesn’t like the idea of giving up. But what the fuck else is he supposed to do? He was going to get Keith killed a second time. Look at Ads herself—she’d only known Chris for a matter of weeks when she got slammed head-first into a wall. He’s a fucking wrecking ball. If he’s going to do anything for Ads, he’s going to protect her from him.

“I got nothing left,” Chris says softly. It’s a little more honest than he meant to be.

She wipes another tear off her face. “Can I even leave you alone right now?” she asks, searching his face. “You’re not gonna—”

“I won’t do anything to myself,” he mumbles. If he was going to do that, he would’ve done it as a kid, after Keith died. It would probably be doing everyone a favor, but he can’t do it. After a lifetime with his dad, he still sort of believes in Hell, and he knows he’s going there. He’s not in a rush to get there.

“Fine,” Ads says. “I have to get back. We’re—we’ve got a plan.” She looks at him again, but he shakes his head. He’s not going with them. They’ll be safer without him. “Okay,” she whispers. She squeezes his shoulder. “I’m coming back when we’re done.”

“Be careful,” he says, gut churning. He knows they need him. They need another body, another killer. But he can’t do it.

“Be safe,” she says. She waits another minute, but he doesn’t move. She walks off without him. She looks back over her shoulder once, but he doesn’t change his mind. He wanders aimlessly through Evergreen for a while, trying not to think of anything at all.

Everything was so bright and clean in the other version of Evergreen. A shiny veneer covering up the Nazi shit. Everything was probably kept clean by the people stuck in fucking work camps. And he didn’t think twice, didn’t look around, didn’t ask questions. Can he really be mad at Adrian for not stopping to think when he saw Auggie?

He finds himself in the park where he met Harcourt, with A.R.G.U.S. trying to bring him in. She told him to stay away, and he didn’t stop to think then, either. She said he didn’t trust her. Maybe she’s right. He just felt like he had to know if she felt anything. Another fuck up.

He watches some kids running around playing soccer. They’re like a TV commercial for diversity, all different races running around together. Does he honestly not even look around and notice this shit? He thinks he always will now. He’d sure as fuck better try.

He hears a familiar screech overhead and cranes his neck to look up at the sky. “Eagly!” he cries. Eagly lands on the ground next to him and pecks lightly at Chris’s shoe. “Ow, dude, what’s your deal?” Chris complains. Eagly pecks him again. He doesn’t normally do this to Chris.

“He’s probably trying to tell you you’re a piece of shit.”

Chris looks up. Judomaster, in all his green spandex glory, is standing there. They’re almost the same height with him standing and Chris sitting.

“He can get in line,” Chris mutters. “What the hell are you doing here? Going to try to take me to A.R.G.U.S. again?”

“Just wondering why the hell you’re here when all your little friends are in danger,” Judomaster says.

“Like I’d be able to help,” Chris says.

Judomaster makes a considering noise. “You do fuck up a lot.”

Chris tips his head. Well, at least someone’s being honest with him. “Thank you,” he says, not quite able to meet Judomaster’s eye. “For saving Ads. And for backing me up with A.R.G.U.S. so they didn’t go after anyone else.”

“I didn’t do it for you,” Judomaster says.

“Well, thanks anyway,” Chris says. “I don’t really care why you did it, as long as you did.”

“Lee says you’re a good guy,” Judomaster says. He doesn’t sound like he agrees. “Even though you’re so fucking stupid you didn’t notice all the Nazis.” Chris doesn’t argue against that. He can’t. “She says you’re a sweet guy, deep down.” Judomaster shrugs. “I don’t see it.”

“Yeah,” Chris says. “Ads thinks I’m better than I am.” He can hear how hollow his voice is.

“So why don’t you fucking do something about it?” Judomaster asks. “She’s a better friend than you deserve.”

“I know that,” Chris says. But something in his chest twinges at him. Do something about it. He’s proving Ads wrong. She was the first person to look at him and see that he was trying to be better. She was the first person who believed he could be better. And he’s proving her wrong. He’s letting her down. Again. Like always.

Judomaster looks him up and down. “You know Flag knows they’re planning something and is going to fight back.”

“He knows?” Chris asks, stomach dropping. If their plan hinges on the element of surprise and Flag knows about it, he’s going to get the drop on them. They’re in danger without Chris just as much as they’re in danger with him. Lose fucking lose situation.

“I know where they are,” Judomaster says.

Chris takes a deep breath. He meets Judomaster’s eye and nods. “Let’s go.”

Judomaster takes off running and Chris curses. Fuck, that little guy moves fast. Chris is having trouble keeping up. He thinks of the Peacecycle and then pushes the thought away. Eagly’s flying overhead, going in the same direction they are, so at least Chris got something right.

Judomaster runs to a warehouse out on the edge of town. Chris may be biased because he’s so fucking winded, but there’s no goddamn reason to put it out in the middle of nowhere. The quantum unfolding chamber can be anywhere. Another strike against that dickbag Flag.

“You should really do more cardio,” Judomaster snips while Chris tries to catch his breath. And yes, maybe that’s true, but Chris doesn’t think this is the time. They can see Economos at a computer and Ads and Adrian standing by a door.

“What are they doing?” Chris asks.

“They’re going to close the door.”

“How?”

“Isn’t this your Nazi dad’s shit?” Judomaster asks. Chris rolls his eyes, but he nods. “Shouldn’t you know?”

“I mean—yeah, we put the quantum unfolding chamber back in the box thing. But how do we keep it away from A.R.G.U.S.?”

“The blonde one had an idea,” Judomaster says.

“Harcourt,” Chris supplies.

“I don’t care.”

“Where is she?” Chris asks.

“She’s in there with the A.R.G.U.S. people,” Judomaster says.

“Fuck, and Flag knows she’s going to try something?” Who knows what he’s going to do to her in another dimension.

“That’s what Flag told me,” Judomaster says.

Chris pauses for a second. “You’re selling out A.R.G.U.S. for us?”

“Not for you,” Judomaster says.

“For Ads?”

“Not just for her,” he says. “I don’t know what Flag’s looking for, but I don’t think it’s anything good. I sure as fuck don’t want him to bring any Nazi shit into this world.” He tips his head. “Even if it is fun to kill them.”

Chris shakes his head. “Jesus, you and Vig would get along.”

“We definitely don’t,” Judomaster says. “But I’d kill Nazis with him.”

They get closer to the door. “Hey,” Chris says, making sure not to be too loud just in case.

“Chris!” Ads cries. The look on her face—God. She really does believe in him. It’s so fucking much. He doesn’t know if he can take it. All he ever does is let her down and prove she shouldn’t believe in him. He got her chased by a fucking mob. But here she is, face shining because he came back.

“Peacemaker!” Adrian says. He also believes in Chris too much, but not because he thinks Chris can be better. He just automatically thinks anything Chris does is right. Which is worrying, in all honesty.

“Oh, good, you’re here,” Economos asks. “We have to get Flag, Harcourt, and Bordeaux out of there so we can close the door.”

“What are they doing?” Chris asks, looking toward the door.

“Exploring every dimension they can,” Economos says. “We think Flag might be looking for…I don’t know, metahumans or superhumans or whatever the fuck you want to call them. He wants to bring them back here and make himself an army.”

“I’m guessing I’m at the top of his shitlist?” Chris asks.

“Definitely in the top three,” Economos confirms.

“Well, okay,” Chris says. He steps up to the doorway. He can see Flag and Harcourt and the other one in their hazmat suits. He’s worried Flag’s going to do something to Harcourt, so he doesn’t have much time. “Hey, Flag!” he yells.

“What are you doing?” Ads hisses.

“Flag knows you’re up to something,” Judomaster says. “He wanted me to be here with fatass to stop you.”

“This fucking guy,” Adrian says, all pissed off. “Don’t call him fatass! His ass isn’t even the fattest part of him.”

“Uh, thanks,” Economos says dubiously.

“You’re helping us?” Ads asks.

“I don’t really hold grudges,” Judomaster says.

“Sure felt like you held a grudge against me,” Chris says.

“I fight with whoever’s on my side,” Judomaster says. “You just happen to keep being against me.”

Ads smiles at him. “I’m glad we got you on the team now.”

“I’m not,” Adrian complains.

“Adrian, be good and work with him and then he can tell you his story about electrocuting Nazis in a swimming pool,” Ads says.

That does perk Adrian up. “Oh, shit, that sounds cool. Fuck, I want to do that.”

They’re out of time for their banter, because Flag is almost back to the door. Harcourt’s right behind him, with Bordeaux following. “Here he comes,” Chris says. “We got a plan?”

Flag comes through the door and Adrian clotheslines him. “That’s my plan.”

Harcourt almost trips over him in the doorway, and Bordeaux falls over from the abrupt stop. “Oh, good fucking job,” Chris says, trying to help Harcourt through the door.

He can’t say much of anything else, because Flag’s attacking him from the ground. Chris isn’t entirely sure why, unless he just attacks Chris on sight now, until Flag shoves him through the door and Chris realizes what he’s trying to do.

Now Flag’s trying to get back through the door so he can close it on Chris. He apparently doesn’t care that he’ll be closing it on his own agent, too. Chris can’t breathe very well; the air in whatever dimension this is kind of hurts in his lungs.

“Chris!” he hears Ads scream.

Eagly screeches, and Chris starts to panic. What if Eagly comes in here? “No, Eagly, stay here!” Adrian says.

Through the hazmat suit, Chris can see Bordeaux is that psycho bitch who was going to kill him in the park. But she surprises him; she plants her foot on Flag’s stomach and shoves him back from the door. Harcourt kicks Flag’s knee just as Adrian turns away from Eagly and punches Flag in the face.

Chris manages to get to his knees, but he can’t move. He’s coughing. He feels like there’s cotton in his throat. Ads’s hand comes through the door and grabs his. She pulls him, but Chris is a heavy guy.

He’s not sure Ads can pull him through without coming further inside, and he doesn’t want her to do that. He already fucked up with getting her into one wrong dimension; he’s not going to do that again. Chris starts to let go of her hand. Better for him to stay here than for Ads to get hurt.

“No, you fucking don’t!” Ads growls at him. She tightens her fingers on his and says, “Don’t you dare!” Adrian grabs Chris’s wrist and helps Ads pull him back inside. Chris coughs and gulps air while they drag him away from the door.

“Jagger, what are you doing!” Flag yells. Judomaster’s helping Harcourt hold him back.

“You’re a really shitty boss,” Judomaster tells him.

“Bordeaux,” Flag says.

“You are not fit to hold this office anymore,” Bordeaux says. Oh, shit, Chris didn’t know it was a whole mutiny.

Flag kicks Harcourt toward the door, but they’re both still in their hazmat suits and neither are all that dexterous. Adrian and Ads both drop Chris. Adrian pulls Harcourt away from the door and Ads helps yank her backward while Chris reaches up and grabs Flag. He’s still not breathing all that well, but he has to do something.

“Close the fucking door!” Chris yells at Adrian.

“Just close it normal,” Harcourt adds quickly. Chris has no idea what that means, but Adrian slams the door closed.

“Now, John!” Ads says.

Flag knees Chris in the balls and Chris has to fight to keep his grip. Flag’s trying to get to Economos. Judomaster goes for a throat-strike, but it’s awkward with the hazmat suit. Eagly’s trying to dive at him, too, but the hazmat suit’s protecting him. Flag headbutts Chris and Chris sees stars, even with Flag’s hazmat helmet thing.

“Quit hitting my BFF!” Adrian yells. He tackles Flag and gets him in a leglock on the ground. Bordeaux, out of her hazmat suit now, has a gun out and trains it on them.

“I am taking over as acting head of A.R.G.U.S.,” she says. “Rick Flag, stand down.”

He doesn’t, but Adrian’s mostly got him unconscious by now. The portal closes and the quantum unfolding chamber goes back into its little briefcase thing. Now they’re all just sitting there in a warehouse. Chris’s breath is still wheezy, and Flag’s grunting a little as Adrian chokes him out.

“Alive, V,” Chris gasps, because that’s definitely something he needs to specify for Adrian.

“I know,” Adrian says, but he loosens his grip in a way that means he didn’t.

Ads crouches down by Chris. “Are you okay?”

He shakes his head. “That air.”

“That air is toxic,” Economos says. “We knew that going in. That’s why they had the hazmat suits.”

“The director of A.R.G.U.S. tried to kill you,” Bordeaux says. He already did that, but Chris knows she knows that.

“Is that a fucking job requirement?” Chris complains. Fucking Waller tried that, too. Then he looks at Ads. “Sorry.” She shrugs.

“Did you learn your lesson yet?” she asks. “I don’t care what dimension you’re in, Chris. You’re not leaving us.”

The tightness in his chest and his throat isn’t completely from the toxic air. “I know,” he mumbles. Eagly lands next to him and pushes his head against Chris’s cheek. “I’m okay, buddy,” he promises. Eagly cheeps at him comfortingly.

“Is he unconscious?” Bordeaux asks.

“Yep, he’s out,” Adrian says cheerfully. “What a loser. His neck’s that thick and he still went out like a light.”

“What are we going to do with this?” Economos asks, holding up the quantum unfolding chamber.

Bordeaux and Harcourt look at each other. “We’re going to give it back to its rightful owners,” Bordeaux says.

“Shit, the aliens?” Chris asks. “How’d you find them?”

“We know a guy,” Harcourt says. “Or…we know how to get in touch with a guy who might know how to get it back to them. And if not, we can trust him to keep it safe.”

“Oh, fuck,” Ads says, sounding surprised. “No shit?”

“Who?” Adrian asks, because of course he didn’t figure it out. Not that Chris did, either, but no one needs to know that.

“Superman,” Ads says.

“Fuck that guy,” Chris says. He’d be more annoyed if his chest didn’t still hurt.

Adrian looks at him quickly and then slumps a little. “Yeah, who even likes him?”

“Can you handle this?” Harcourt asks, nudging Flag with her shoe.

“Backup will be here in two minutes,” Bordeaux says. “Jagger, will you stay here and help until then?” Judomaster nods. Chris has no idea why they’re calling him Jagger, but that’s kind of low on his list of priorities right now.

Adrian and Economos help Chris stand up. Harcourt looks down at Flag, lips pursed. She shakes her head. “Sorry, Rick,” she says softly. Chris isn’t sure if she means the one she’s looking at or Junior. His stomach drops at the thought. The one he killed.

“That flip thing you did was pretty cool,” Adrian says begrudgingly to Judomaster. Chris didn’t see any flip thing. Must’ve been while he was choking in the other dimension.

“I know,” Judomaster says.

“Can we trust her with that?” Chris asks as Economos starts to hand over the quantum unfolding chamber.

“Yes,” Harcourt says. She doesn’t explain why. Chris figures it’s best if he just trusts her. He’s done a shitty job of that lately.

They leave Bordeaux and Judomaster standing over Flag and leave the warehouse. Eagly sticks close as he flies above them. Ads looks over at Chris. “You good?”

“I can walk,” he says. Saying he’s good would be a lie.

“What should we do now?” Adrian asks. “You guys want to do karaoke or something?”

“Would you shut the fuck up?” Chris snaps. Adrian is always saying the wrong fucking thing and Chris is so not in the mood. “Nobody wants to do fucking karaoke with you, dude.”

“How do you know?” Adrian asks. “You didn’t give anyone a chance to answer.”

“You are so fucking—”

Ads elbows Chris. Hard. “Adrian, will you walk home with me?” she asks. “I’m scared to go alone.”

Adrian stops giving Chris his dumb confused, hurt face and looks at her. “Yeah, okay. Are you worried some Nazis got in from the other dimension?”

“We still have Nazis here in this dimension,” Ads points out.

“True,” Adrian agrees. “I’d totally kill anybody who fucks with you. I want to try that flip Judomaster did.”

“I’m going to pretend your biggest concern is my safety and not your flip.”

They’re starting to walk in the other direction. Economos looks at Chris and Harcourt and mutters, “Do not leave me alone with this conversation,” and rushes off after them.

“Coward,” Chris calls after him. Economos just flips him off over his shoulder without turning around. Even Eagly flies away. Now it’s just Chris and Harcourt and this huge elephant in the room.

“So,” Harcourt says. “Do we need to talk about it or are we both on the same page?”

“We’re probably not on the same page,” Chris says. “I don’t think we ever have been.”

Harcourt sighs. “Yeah,” she says quietly. They walk in silence for a few more feet, and then she says, “It’s not happening, Chris.”

“I know,” he admits. He can’t look over at her. He knew this was coming, but it still fucking hurts.

“You know why, right?” she checks.

“Because I killed your friend and then went to a different dimension and found a different version of you who wanted me.” He should stand up straight, look her in the eye, own up on his shit, but he can’t. He’s just so fucking stupid. Why did he think any of that was a good idea?

“Yeah,” she says. “But it’s not all your fault. I’m…” She blows out a breath. “I can’t. I couldn’t with Rick, I can’t with you, I just—” She shrugs. “I just can’t.” Her voice wobbles, just a little.

Chris thinks that should probably make him feel better, but it doesn’t. Now he just feels bad for both of them. “You can’t even try?”

“Chris,” she murmurs.

“Okay, yeah,” he says. All the stuff he already said is sort of a barrier there.

After a little more silent walking, Harcourt says, “You can’t just leave when shit sucks. Another dimension, jail, whatever. That’s not—we need you, Chris. All of us. That includes me.”

Chris’s voice sticks around the lump in his throat. “I just ruin everything.”

She sighs. “I know the feeling. But if you’re going to ruin shit, the least you can do is stick around to fix it.”

“I don’t see how any of you could want me around,” he says. He knows how fucking pathetic he’s being, but he can’t help it.

“I don’t, either,” she says. She elbows him and gives him a little smile. “We do, though. Even though I tried really fucking hard not to.” She glances over at him, eyes a little shiny, and repeats, “We need you.”

“Okay,” he says. He can’t make any promises right now. Maybe that’s how she feels too—promises are impossible when he feels like this. But he’ll try not to argue with her about it.

“I know everything’s…” She sighs again. “The other dimension, and everything that happened. It was all fucked up.”

“I know Keith wasn’t a good guy,” Chris says. There’s no denying that. He tried to hurt Ads, on top of all the people in that dimension he hurt all the time. “But he was still my brother. And my dad—” He stops.

“Adrian didn’t kill your dad, Chris,” Harcourt says. She’s not mad at him, but she’s not budging, either. She’s a little less gentle than when they were in the other dimension, just a little firmer. “He killed a guy who looked like your dad. That wasn’t your dad or your brother. That wasn’t your family.”

“It was the only version of them I got,” Chris whispers. “The only version of my dad who didn’t hate me.” And how fucking sad is that—even that Auggie didn’t love him. And he didn’t love his own version of Chris. The best Chris could hope for was a father who didn’t openly hate him and wasn't completely a Nazi.

“It wasn’t real,” she says. “Fuck your dad. He fucked you up, but you’re different. You’re not like him. You don’t need him.”

“But I wanted him.” He feels like a little kid, like he’s watching foam bubble out of Keith’s mouth again. He just wanted someone to fucking tell him it wasn’t his fault. He wanted someone to protect him. He has no idea what that feels like.

He glances over at Harcourt. Maybe not no idea. They all came to get him from the other dimension. Everything that happened with Keith was fucking horrific, but they were doing it for him. They got him out of jail. Ads reached into toxic air today to save him.

It’s not the same. It’s not a parent protecting him when he was a little kid. It’s not someone teaching him how to grow up to be a good person. But it’s not nothing, either.

“I can’t give you that,” she says. “I can’t even give you me, not the way you want me. But we’re here. That’s all I can say.”

“I know,” he says. “It’s not—it was never that you guys aren’t enough.”

“I know,” she echoes.

“I do want you the way you can give me,” he says after a second. “A friend.”

She looks over at him and smiles. “Yeah,” she says.

“I have sex with a lot of my friends,” he adds. He's just joking around. His chest hurts, but he wants them to be friends again.

“And I’ve shot some of mine,” she says. They both laugh a little. She puts her arm through his, just for a second, and they walk back into Evergreen.

Chris walks through his dad’s house, but Eagly’s not here. He hadn’t even bothered closing the back door, so Eagly could’ve gotten in. He doesn’t come when Chris whistles or calls for him outside in the yard, either. Chris sighs. He has an idea where Eagly might be.

He knocks on the door this time. Adrian opens it a crack and just stands there looking at him.

“I’m here for Eagly,” Chris says, not meeting Adrian’s eyes.

“Well, he’s having a snack,” Adrian says. He pulls the door back. “You can come in if you don’t hit me.”

“I’m not going to hit you again, V,” Chris says tiredly. He just shoved him one time. It’s kind of a big deal for Adrian to even act sort of mad about it.

“Are you going to apologize?” Adrian asks.

“No,” Chris says, because he’s not.

Adrian makes an offended little huff, but he doesn’t push it. “Eagly, look who’s here!”

Eagly’s at the kitchen table eating from a bowl. Chris glances in and makes a face. Adrian gave Eagly a bowl of raw beef. “Hey, buddy,” Chris says, but Eagly still won’t come with him. “Man, what’s the deal? I went and helped!” That was obviously what Eagly wanted before; he wanted Chris to stop being a self-pitying pussy and do the right thing. But Chris did. So what’s the problem now?

“Maybe he just wants to finish his food,” Adrian suggests. “I hate when I don’t get to finish eating.”

Chris crosses his arms and leans against the wall. “Where’s your mom?” he asks after a minute. He didn’t plan to talk to Adrian, but he can’t really help it. His mom coming home would make this even more awkward.

“She went to the casino for the weekend with her friends,” Adrian says.

“Your mom has friends?” Chris asks. He never knew that. She was literally always sitting at home when Chris was in high school and hanging out with Gut. She got tons of alimony from their dad, apparently.

“I don’t know,” Adrian says. “She said she does.”

“Probably just wanted to get away from you,” Chris says.

“So you think both my parents lie to get away from me?” Adrian asks.

“Probably,” Chris says.

Adrian’s got his pouty face on that makes him look like a turtle. “Whatever.”

He has no fucking right to be annoyed at Chris. Chris has all the right to be pissed here. “You told your mom we’re dating?” Chris sneers, mostly because he knows Adrian is not even slightly equipped to handle this conversation.

Adrian’s eyes go wide. “Uh…” He laughs awkwardly. “What? No way! She—I didn’t—she just—”

“You’re the worst fucking liar, dude,” Chris says. “What the fuck?”

Adrian shrugs. “Well, at least I didn’t go into a racist dimension to find a different you after you said no.”

Chris is almost more shocked that Adrian picked up on that than on Adrian throwing that in his face. “Jesus.”

“I’m talking about you and Harcourt,” Adrian adds.

“I know,” Chris says, rolling his eyes.

“She said that was creepy, by the way,” Adrian says.

“Great, thanks,” Chris says. It’s not exactly a newsflash, even if it does sting a little. “Still doesn’t explain why you told your mom we’re dating.”

Adrian’s going all pink and not looking at Chris. “Sometimes I need an explanation for why I’m gone all night. You know. Superheroing.”

“And you picked me?” Chris asks skeptically.

“Well, she saw you get arrested,” Adrian says. “And I was—uh, I mean Ads was really freaking out and I had to tell my mom something.”

“What does Ads being upset about me being arrested have to do with telling your mom we’re dating?” Chris asks.

“Ads said I had to take back calling Harcourt slutty, so I had to tell my mom some other reason for us breaking up,” Adrian says instead of answering that.

“You said Harcourt’s slutty and you broke up?” Chris asks. “What?” He is not following this story at all. He threw that in Adrian’s face to make him uncomfortable and now Chris is just confused.

“I just had to tell my mom something!” Adrian insists again. Chris gives up. He’s getting neither answers nor satisfaction from this conversation.

“Whatever, dude,” he says.

“Look, I’m sorry you’re mad I killed the Nazi dimension version of your dad,” Adrian says.

It sucks some of the air out of Chris’s lungs. He doesn’t say anything for a second. He’s not mad at Adrian, not really, even though it still fucking hurt to watch. “I guess it looked pretty bad from your side,” he admits begrudgingly. And they never would have been in that position if not for Chris.

“I thought he was going to kill you,” Adrian says, eyes all big and worried. “Remember when we killed your real dad here? It was like when I had to jump on him to stop him from killing you that time.”

Chris sighs. “I get it,” he says, because yeah, okay, seeing all that from outside the window would look like they were all in danger. “But you gotta get more info before you kill people. Wait a second. Ask questions.” This isn’t something Chris should have to explain, but this is Adrian.

“Dude, I’m not gonna promise that,” Adrian says, proving Chris right instantly.

“Adrian,” Chris scolds.

“What? P, if it’s you or anybody else, I’m not asking any fucking questions. I’m always gonna kill someone who’s threatening you.”

“He wasn’t threatening me!” Chris protests. “He was going to let us all go home!”

“Well, I didn’t know that.” Adrian’s so infuriatingly defensive. It’s making Chris want to throttle him. It wasn’t even a real fucking apology—saying sorry you’re mad doesn’t count. Chris knows because people have told him that plenty of times. “And you totally saw me coming,” Adrian points out. “You could’ve told him to move.”

“I was frozen!” Chris says.

“Uh, you don’t freeze,” Adrian says. “I saw you see me coming, and you didn’t say anything or do anything, so…” He shrugs. “Kinda thought you were cool with it, dude.”

“I didn’t…” Chris pushes a hand through his hair. He did see Adrian coming. He did have time to do something. He could’ve told Auggie to move. He could’ve jumped in front of him. He could’ve done anything. But Chris is afraid there’s some part of him that wanted that Auggie to die, too. Some part of him that knew he didn’t deserve any kind of affection and didn’t trust that any version of Auggie could actually be offering that. “It’s because I ruin everything,” Chris says hollowly.

He really does not want to have this goddamn breakdown in front of Adrian, but he can’t stop it. It seems like these days all he does is break down.

“You don’t ruin everything,” Adrian says.

“Adrian, I can’t fucking do this with you,” Chris says. Adrian just doesn’t get it. He can’t get it, and Chris can’t explain it, and it’s just making Chris want to jump out the fucking window. “Eagly, come on.”

Eagly looks at him and screeches, but he doesn’t so much as twitch a feather to come toward Chris. Adrian shrugs. “You can leave him here if you want, I guess. Maybe he just likes my house.”

“I’m not fucking leaving him here,” Chris snaps. “Eagly!” He’s getting severely pissed off now. He steps toward Eagly, and Eagly actually flashes his talons. “What the fuck,” Chris says under his breath. Eagly’s never done that to him. “Fine, then!” Chris blows up. “Stay here!”

He turns to walk away and Eagly’s on him, pulling at Chris’s shirt. “Oh, shit,” Adrian says. “I think he wants you to stay, too.”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do here?” Chris yells. “What am I supposed to do anywhere? I’m fucking—” He has to stop and bite his lip hard so he doesn’t start fucking crying. “Broken,” he says between gritted teeth. He’s broken. He’s a joke as a hero, because he’s not a fucking hero. He’s barely even a person at all.

“It’s okay if you don’t like yourself,” Adrian says. Chris sucks in a surprised breath. He’s always caught off-guard when Adrian’s perceptive. “I mean, it’s not okay. You should like yourself, because you’re the best dude ever. But I just mean, I can like you extra to make up for it.”

“Do not like me extra,” Chris says immediately. “I can barely take how much you like me now.”

Adrian frowns at him. “I can’t just stop liking you,” Adrian says. “BFF means forever.” Chris has no idea what to say to that. It makes him feel simultaneously ashamed and appeased. He’s not worth someone liking him forever. On the other hand, it is Adrian. He barely counts.

But it’s kind of making Chris feel good, too. Adrian’s too fucking annoying with his animal facts and always saying the wrong thing and shooting (or stabbing) first and asking questions never, but there’s no question he’s loyal.

“I wish you liked yourself more,” Adrian goes on blithely. “I had such a good time with the other me. That dude was awesome! And guess what, P? His favorite Pokémon is Infernape too!”

“I don’t know what the fuck that is,” Chris says. He’s so fucking exhausted right now and Adrian is sure as hell not helping. “It’s not—” He shakes his head. “It’s not about liking myself or not liking myself.”

“Then what’s it about?” Adrian asks.

Chris shrugs and huffs. “Well, I guess that is part of it. But I can’t just decide to like myself and start doing it.”

“Why not?” Adrian asks, like it’s that fucking simple. It probably is for him. He doesn’t see anything wrong with anything he’s ever done.

“I don’t know, man,” Chris says. “I don’t know how to do that.”

“I can help,” Adrian offers.

“I just want to be alone,” Chris says, even though thinking about being alone makes his stomach clench. He wants to be alone and he doesn’t want to be alone. Everything’s so fucking mixed up and confusing and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Um, no offense, bro, but sometimes you do really dumb shit when you’re alone,” Adrian says apologetically. “Maybe that’s why Eagly wants you to stay here.”

It’s just too hard to fight it. Eagly won’t leave, and he doesn’t want Chris to leave, and making decisions makes Chris’s chest hurt. He ends up with a grilled cheese sandwich in front of him and he doesn’t even complain about the shitty macros. He just eats it.

“Can I sleep here?” he asks. He’d feel pathetic if he were talking to anyone but Adrian.

Sure enough, Adrian’s face lights up. “Yeah, dude, of course!” he says excitedly. “This is so cool. The first time you’ve been to my house and we’re having a sleepover.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve been to your house,” Chris reminds him. He and Gut used to hang out here in high school.

Adrian’s mouth goes all pinched. “Okay, the first time you’ve been here for me.”

Chris is actually here for Eagly, but he drops it. “Eagly, I’m going to bed.” Eagly hops up onto Chris’s shoulder, so that’s apparently an Eagly-approved decision. Chris follows Adrian down the hall and into what is very obviously Adrian’s bedroom, judging by the throwing stars on the shelf and the fucking Taylor Swift poster on the wall. Chris stops in the doorway. “Dude, you don’t have a guest room or something?”

“Ads said you shouldn’t be alone,” Adrian reports. “And apparently at night it’s worse.”

“Ads asked you to babysit me?” Chris asks. He’d be annoyed if he had any fucking energy left in his body.

“Um, you’re not a baby,” Adrian says. “Though I did feed you.”

“Never mind,” Chris groans. He just wants to sleep. Eagly picks a spot on the dresser to perch. Now that Chris is looking, he realizes it’s a cleared off spot, like maybe he’s been sleeping in here with Adrian the whole time Chris was locked up. He’s glad Adrian made him comfortable.

Chris kicks off his shoes and shucks his pants and shirt before dropping onto Adrian’s bed. He doesn’t bother asking where Adrian’s going to sleep. He knows exactly what’s going to happen, even though it’s never happened before.

When Adrian’s too drunk to leave at Chris’s, he sleeps on the couch or the floor. Right now, from how he’s been watching Chris like a hawk, Chris knows that’s not what’s going to happen. Just like he thought, Adrian changes into sweats and a long-sleeved shirt and climbs into bed with Chris. He waits a second before Chris hears him set his glasses on the nightstand.

Maybe he was ogling Chris. Probably putting this in his spank bank. If Adrian even jerks off. Chris has no idea if he does that if Chris isn’t there. Chris pushes the image out of his mind. He’s too fucked up to even think about fooling around, and that’s even without drinking. This is the worst he’s ever felt in his entire fucking life.

“Goodnight, P,” Adrian whispers. “I hope you feel better in the morning.”

It’s so fucking stupid. There’s no way Chris is going to feel better in the morning. He’s fucking…depressed, or whatever. That doesn’t go away after sleeping it off. But for some reason Chris’s eyes are getting hot.

Adrian cares way too much—and way too weirdly—but he does care about Chris. He shouldn’t. Chris wishes he didn’t. But he does. And now it’s making Chris tear up. He squeezes his eyes shut so he won’t actually cry. He holds his breath for a second until he can get himself together. He can hear the faint sounds of Eagly preening his feathers. He can hear Adrian’s breaths evening out. Chris focuses on those two until he falls asleep.

He wakes up pressed against Adrian’s back, his hand on Adrian’s hip. Waking up touching someone was part of what was so great about finding Emilia in that other dimension. It’s been a long time since Chris has done that, and he didn’t even realize how much he’d missed it until he got it back. And now it’s making him cuddle up to Adrian.

Luckily, Adrian’s either still asleep or pretending to be, so Chris moves back. Even if Adrian was awake and brings it up, Chris can say it’s a friend thing and Adrian will be excited enough to accept that without question. It probably just made his year.

Chris realizes his phone is buzzing on the nightstand. That must’ve been what woke him up. He reaches for it and frowns at the number popping up. It’s not a saved number. It’s local, though, so Chris answers.

“Yeah?”

“Is this Christopher Smith?” a man asks.

“Uh, yeah,” Chris says. Fuck. He should’ve realized he’d have court shit to take care of. He doesn’t even know when his hearing is. He was going to plead guilty at his first arraignment just to be done with it all, but his public defender told him not to and he wasn’t paying enough attention to anything to argue.

“This is Langston Fleury, with A.R.G.U.S.”

“The dick who tried to kill Eagly?” Chris asks. Adrian pops up onto an elbow and mouths something. Chris doesn’t actually catch whatever he’s saying, except he definitely saw kill in there. He shakes his head. He knows Adrian well enough to extrapolate the rest of it. Jesus, they need to put him on a leash or something.

“I had orders from Flag,” Fleury says. “That’s not important. We need you to come in and talk things over with your case.”

“Why?” Chris asks.

“Because we’re the ones charging you,” Fleury says.

“Do I need to bring my lawyer?” Chris asks. Fuck, he can’t even remember the dude’s name.

“You have that right,” Fleury says. Chris rolls his eyes. Whatever. He’ll just accept whatever charges they’re giving him and get ready to head back to Belle Reve. None of it fucking matters.

“Okay, I’ll come,” he says. He hangs up on the dude.

“The guy who wanted to kill Eagly wants to see you?” Adrian asks immediately. He doesn’t even have a ramp-up period in the mornings. His mouth starts moving basically as soon as he’s conscious. Sometimes even before then, if he’s talking in his sleep.

“A.R.G.U.S. wants to talk about my case.”

There’s a frown etched across Adrian’s face. “You know…” He swallows hard. “If you ran, I wouldn’t kill you.”

“It’s too fucking early for this,” Chris mutters. “I’m not running.”

“A.R.G.U.S. is federal, P,” Adrian points out.

“Yeah,” Chris says. He rolls off the bed and pulls his pants on. “It’s fine, dude. You good to keep watching Eagly?”

“Of course,” Adrian says. He’s still frowning and hasn’t gotten up. “For as long as you need me to.” They both know what they’re not saying. Chris could be locked up for life if that’s what A.R.G.U.S. wants.

Chris focuses on getting his shirt on. “Thanks,” he says. He doesn’t meet Adrian’s eyes before he leaves.

“Oh, hey Peacemaker, it’s been a few days,” the cab driver says. Evergreen only has two cabs and Chris still doesn’t have a car, so he’s very acquainted with both drivers. “You’re looking…” He trails off and focuses on driving, so that’s not great.

Chris heads into A.R.G.U.S. with his hands in his pockets. He might walk back out of here in cuffs. He has no idea how this is going to go down. They take him to Fleury’s office.

“Oh, Shaft,” Chris says, remembering him now.

Fleury grins at him. “You know, I like you, Smith.”

“You gonna throw my ass in Belle Reve?” Chris asks. He hunches his shoulders and looks at his hands.

He thought he didn’t care, but now that he’s sitting here in this office facing the prospect, he finds he really does. He doesn’t want to go back. He doesn’t want to be locked up again. He was toughing it out, but he really hated it. It’s making him feel claustrophobic, sort of preemptively.

“Your charges have been dropped,” Fleury says.

Chris looks up at him. “What?”

“Well, there were some witnesses to…improper arrest techniques,” Fleury says. “You had some people willing to testify.”

“Who?” Chris asks, baffled.

“Me,” Fleury says.

Chris swallows hard. “Oh.”

“Your pigeon did some real damage to my team,” Fleury says. “But Flag made it personal.”

“That’s because I killed his son,” Chris says quietly, looking down again. He’s never blamed Flag for any of this. He’s just about the only person who treats Chris the way he deserves.

“Oh, shit,” Fleury says, surprised. “That was not communicated to me. Damn. Well, still. He can’t use all of A.R.G.U.S. on a personal grudge. Even if it’s a good one. No offense.”

“Yeah,” Chris mutters. “Um…thank you.” His throat is all tight like he’s going to start crying.

“Bordeaux, Harcourt, and Economos signed witness statements, too,” Fleury says. “Jagger might be willing, but I don’t know. The little guy just disappeared.”

“Yeah, he does that,” Chris says. “Fucking pops back up out of nowhere, too.”

“Well, the point is, you’re free to go,” Fleury says.

“Are you taking over A.R.G.U.S.?” Chris asks. “Thought that hot chick was doing it.”

“She is,” Fleury says, apparently unbothered by Chris calling his new boss that hot chick. “She had other things to do today.”

Chris’s case isn’t even important enough for her to handle it personally. It kind of stings, in a twisted way. But Chris just nods. “Thanks,” he says as he heads for the door. “Leave Eagly alone from now on and no hard feelings.”

“Fine by me,” Fleury says.

Chris blinks away the memory of Emilia in the other version of A.R.G.U.S. And Rick Flag, Jr. Instead, he wanders over to Economos’s desk. “Hey,” he says. “Sorry if I fucked up your cred the other day by talking to you on my perp walk.”

Economos snorts. “I don’t really have any cred.”

“Yeah, you do,” Chris says. “You’re Econogoat.”

“Not here,” Economos says. “I wasn’t blacklisted like Harcourt, but they put me at the bottom of the pile.”

“That sucks,” Chris says. “Maybe the hot chick will change that.”

“Nope,” Economos says. “She and I fucking hate each other.”

“What the fuck, dude?” Chris asks. “Why? She’s hot and I bet she’s all into big guys.”

“Why would she be into big guys?” Economos asks.

“Hot cyborg chick?” Chris says. “She’s going to want someone bigger than her.”

“Yeah, well, never happening,” Economos says. He stands up. “You want a ride wherever you’re going?”

“Thanks, man,” Chris says. He’s genuinely sort of touched. He knows they’re all treating him like he’s fragile because he had a fucking breakdown over Keith, but Economos has been doing a lot for him lately. “We can get you a different hot babe,” he offers while Economos gathers up his stuff. “Maybe one who doesn’t know how to kill you.” He should do something nice for Economos in return. Chris doesn’t feel like he’ll be ready to fuck anyone for a while, but he can help Economos get laid.

“I don’t need a wingman,” Economos says. “I do fine on my own.”

“No shit?” Chris asks, pretty surprised. “Good for you.”

Economos doesn’t have a response for that. “Where are we going?” he asks when they get in the car.

“Do you know where Vig lives?”

Economos groans. “Is his mom there?”

“She wasn’t when I left,” Chris says. “Why, what’s wrong with his mom?”

“She’s exactly like Adrian,” Economos says. “Well, without the murder.” Then he shrugs. “That we know of.”

“She’s better than their dad,” Chris says. “He was all—” He stops and thinks for a second about what he was going to say and what memories he has to back it up. “Oh, never mind. My dad was just homophobic.”

Economos raises his eyebrows and doesn’t say anything for a minute. “Sorry,” he finally says awkwardly. “About your dad. Your…other dad. Well, you know. That other dimension version of your dad.”

“Yeah,” Chris says.

“So you made up with Adrian?” Economos asks.

“You don’t really make up with Adrian,” Chris points out, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, it wasn’t really his fault. He did what he does. And he thought he was saving us. It’s my fault, anyway.” He meant that to come out more casual than it did.

Economos sighs. “I don’t know, man. All this alternate dimension shit is so tangled up.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Chris says. “I thought it was better and ended up with fucking Nazis.” He winces and looks over at Economos. “Sorry about your hand.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay,” Economos says. “Sorry I sold everybody out.”

“Dude, every version of my dad is good at torture,” Chris says. “You never stood a chance.”

“Thanks,” Economos says. He furrows his brow. “I guess.”

Chris doesn’t bother knocking when they get to Adrian’s, but he’s surprised to hear people inside when he opens the door. He recognizes Ads’s voice right away. He can see her at the table with Harcourt. Adrian’s feeding Eagly crackers at the kitchen island and is the first to look up when Chris comes in.

“Hey, Peacemaker’s back!” Adrian says.

This time when Chris comes in, Eagly hops over to him and rubs his head on Chris’s shoulder. At least he’s got Eagly’s stamp of approval today. And Chris is pretty sure he knows why Eagly wanted him to stay with Adrian last night. Adrian and Ads were right—Chris sucks at being alone, and nighttime is worse. Eagly was looking out for him.

It feels so fucking overwhelming right now. Chris doesn’t know why Eagly cares about him so much. He doesn’t know why any of them do. But he can admit, just to himself, that Eagly was right yesterday. He got Chris to help the others close the portals, and he made sure Chris didn’t go off alone and do anything stupid. Even if everyone’s better off without him, they’ve been through a ton of shit lately. They don’t need him going completely off the deep end like that.

“Chris!” Ads says. She stands up and comes over to give him a hug. Chris doesn't mean to cling, but the contact is nice. “What happened? Adrian said you had to go to A.R.G.U.S.”

“They dropped the charges,” Chris says. He looks at Economos and then at Harcourt. “Thanks for helping with that.”

Harcourt nods at him. Economos shrugs. “Yeah, well, you know. He sort of kicked the shit out of you.”

“And you didn’t fight back,” Harcourt says, giving him a look.

“I killed the man’s son,” Chris says quietly. It’s not like Harcourt needs the reminder. “He deserved to get some shots in.”

“I’m glad we fucked him up at that warehouse,” Adrian says.

“This is good,” Ads says. “Charges dropped! You’re a free man again.”

“Yeah,” Chris says, a whole lot less enthusiastically. He’s a free man. So now what the fuck is he supposed to do? He figures he’s got to find some way to feel like he doesn’t want to fucking die all the time. He just has no clue how to do that.

“Well, the point is we’re all here and we’re safe,” Ads says firmly. “And no one is moving away.”

“What does that mean?” Chris asks, confused now. He never said anything about moving away.

“Keeya wants to go back to Gotham,” Harcourt supplies.

“Fuck,” Chris says. “She going without you?”

“I don’t know,” Ads says.

“Are you going to talk to her?” Economos asks.

“Don’t know that either,” Ads says, and now she’s getting that look on her face that means she’s heading for a breakdown. Great, all of them are just completely fucked up.

“Okay, whatever,” Chris says. He’s trying to change the subject for Ads, but he can’t think of any subject to change it to. “Uh, thanks for bailing me out. I guess I didn’t say that before.”

“What are you going to do with your crime room now?” Economos asks Adrian.

“Start filling it back up again,” Adrian says, like it’s obvious. “There are still criminals out there selling drugs.”

“Can I have a Beanie Baby?” Ads asks.

“What? No! I’m not splitting up my collection.”

“Are they worth money?” Chris asks curiously. He never had any of those. He bought one for a chick he was trying to bang on Valentine’s Day once.

“No,” Economos says.

“They will be someday!” Adrian insists.

“Where, in Candy Land?” Harcourt asks. After a second, she says, “Actually, I went into a dimension that looked like Candy Land.”

“Did you go through the Gum Drop Mountains?” Ads asks. “I always wanted to go there when I was a kid.”

“I have Candy Land,” Adrian says. “We can play.”

“You want us to play Candy Land?” Economos asks dubiously. “We’re a bunch of fucking adults. And we’ve had the shittiest week ever.”

“Hell yeah!” Ads says with a laugh. “Let’s do it.” Nobody else is as excited as she is, except Adrian, who flits off to get the game. Chris gives Ads a look and she laughs again. “I like Candy Land!” she defends herself. “It’s fun. We’re all traumatized and my wife might be leaving me. Whatever.”

Well, now Chris can’t argue. Adrian comes back with the game. It looks old as hell. They probably got it when Gut was little. “There are only four gingerbread game pieces,” Adrian frets.

“I won’t play,” Chris and Harcourt say at the same time.

“Chris, you’re going to play with me,” Ads says. “We’ll be the yellow one.”

“You’re so generous,” Chris mutters. Harcourt snorts but doesn’t look at him. She and Economos argue over the blue one, and Chris, feeling magnanimous and antagonistic in equal measure, snags it away from them and hands it to Adrian.

“You’re giving him the blue one?” Economos complains.

“It’s his game,” Chris points out. “He should get the color he likes best.”

“Maybe he wants to be a good host and give it to someone else,” Economos says.

“Thanks, P!” Adrian chirps, very obviously not willing to part with the blue piece.

“Fine, then I get to go first,” Economos says.

“I’m going first,” Harcourt says.

Economos frowns at her but doesn’t argue.

“Oh, come on, John, stand up for yourself,” Ads teases.

“I’d like to see him try,” Harcourt says.

“He’s really tall when he stands up,” Adrian says nonsensically.

Chris watches them all, letting the sound of their voices and their laughter wash over him. It doesn’t fix everything. It doesn’t fix anything, actually. He still has that hollow spot in his chest that hurts when he thinks of Keith and his dad. He still feels like that little kid on his knees, begging God for help. He still thinks they’d all be better off without him.

But they love him. They’d do anything for him, even chase after him into a whole different dimension. They made their own little family, all of them together. Chris doesn’t know how that fits with the broken part of him that feels like he shouldn’t be loved. He just knows he is loved. And he’s not ready right this second, but he thinks the day is coming soon when he’ll be ready to start doing whatever he needs to do to feel worthy of all that.

Today, they’re playing Candy Land. So that’s what he’s going to do first.