Work Text:
Another day, another call, another errand for Mr. Cobs
You balance the cardboard drink carrier on top of your head, the floors reflecting your tiny body and your Meeple badge below. The stark white card sticking out from your green casing and soft hazy glow from your screen. It was a little challenging with no arms, especially for being the unofficial one of many errand people, but you made it work.
Though, this order was strange. Typically your boss just ordered one large black coffee, no matter if he was alone or meeting someone that day. He's the type of guy to invite someone over and not feed them even though he's kept them there for hours... This time his large black coffee was paired with a medium latte with extra sugar, cream and caramel on the sides. An awfully sweet order for any type of business person that Mr. Cobs would keep around long enough to order coffee for. However, you didn't get paid enough to care nor high ranking enough to even ask, so you teeter the carrier down the hall and turning memorized corners.
You finally get to your boss's door, though before approaching it you hear some strange sounds coming from inside. They sounded really... wet, and squishy. Maybe the janitor came early today? But there's no way Steve Cobs of all people would let janitorial staff come around him when he worked, so it had to be something else. Maybe he spilled something? Or some secret thing that he's doing now to 'get Meeple back on top' or something like that. You pondered over it a little more before just steeling your nerves and moving towards the door. You just wanted to make any interactions with this guy short and sweet.
You step forward, the doors automatically sliding open for you as per usual.
"Mr. Cobs, I got your order of-" you stop dead in your tracks at the sight in front of you.
There was someone sitting on top of his desk, and you could recognize that bright red paper and yellow sticks anywhere. It was Fan, from that kinda gory web series you love to watch at home. At first it was a guilty pleasure but so much happened you just had to show your friends n anyone who care to sit down with you for a couple hours. He happened to be your favorite not by choice but because your mind just latched on to his loser personality and interactions with the other contestants.
You had some idea where he went, you had your theories like everyone else, but what on earth was he doing here????
You didn't even have an opportunity to start asking questions before Fan turned around to reveal a string of saliva connecting him.... connecting him to... connecting him to your god damn boss Steve Cobs.
You end up in a three way staring contest with your boss and Fan, noting that while Cobs seemed stern as always Fan seemed a little more... joyful. Not a natural joy but something a few steps away from a drawn on smiling mask acting as his permanent face.
It took a few seconds to muster up the confidence to speak. "...Here's the coffee."
"Just, just put it where you usually do", Cobs pinches inbetween his glasses and makes a dismissive hand wave motion.
"I uh, gotta get closer for that", you say looking around his office.
"And why exactly do you need to do that?" He spats
"I don't really have the height to put it anywhere, or arms." You retort.
"Fine, fine just give me the coffee."
You did what you usually do, which is walk to the side of his desk and wait for him to take the coffee off of your head. Only this time you just couldn't look away from Fan staring back, giving you a small smile that sent chills across your wires.
Cobs finally takes the carrier off of your head and sets it on the table, as he does you mumble "get a room" underneath your breath.
"What did you just say?" He glares down at you
"Go... go get another room or something" you say, accidentally letting some of your annoyance slip in. "Also why are you making out so early in the day?"
"I was not- ugh" he rolls his eyes and leans in closer. "I don't pay you to put your outdated, static filled screen in places where it doesn't belong"
"You could've at least waited to order coffee after you're done licking construction paper."
"Do you really think that I planned for this to happen!?" He raises his voice and bangs his fist on the desk.
"No but you found time in your schedule to slobber spit all over someone with an active Tumblr blog." You were already in deep so why not go all the way.
"Do you have ANY idea of who your talking to right now!" He shouts, pressing his pointer finger into your screen.
"A CEO who doesn't know what to do with his time."
"ENOUGH!!" He reaches the top of his voice, making you flinch back. "You can get off scott free if you do not say a word to anybody"
He grabs your sides and pulls you closer to his face, "If I hear a single word coming back to me I'll rip open that cheap plastic case, take out your parts and sell them like the dirt you are."
You make your face nod on your screen and he sets you down. "You're off for the day, no PTO" and waves you off.
You quickly scurry out of there, and wondering to yourself if this job was really worth all this effort for.