Work Text:
Maybe it would've been better if they'd made more fanfare about announcing their relationship to the friend group. But Minho didn't want to make a big deal about it, so Chan didn't give any warning before he told them: “By the way, Minho and I started dating.”
They really should have made more fanfare, because all hell broke loose within the group and they all made it a massive fucking deal anyways.
Jisung spat out his drink, getting it on Seungmin whose jaw was on the floor, Changbin was screeching in disbelief, Felix kept saying “what the fuck” in English over and over, Jeongin was just blinking wide-eyed, and Hyunjin looked utterly confused and asked “is this a joke? This is a big joke right? It has to be a joke!”
“What do you mean, dating? Literally two days ago Minho-hyung was complaining about how single he was!” Jisung said in disbelief.
Chan glanced over at Minho, who let out an annoyed huff and crossed his arms.
“I was single two days ago,” he replied, “you told me to go do something about it, so I did. Hyung and I got together that night.”
“Getting Chan-hyung to just say he's dating you is not what we meant, you don't have to get a fake boyfriend,” Changbin chimed in, raising an eyebrow.
“Wait- fake?” Chan said, wondering if he heard his best friend correctly, “this isn't fake. We actually do like each other, and now we're in a relationship.”
“But you aren't even into dudes!”
“Since when?? I came out to you guys years ago!”
“...you did?”
Chan looked at the whole group. “Do none of you remember me coming out as bisexual?”
“I remember,” Minho muttered, but everyone else at the table shook their heads.
“Unbelievable,” Chan said, slumping back in his seat.
“Look, April Fools Day was months ago. Very weird timing for a prank,” commented Seungmin.
Minho gave him a blank stare. “This isn't a prank. Why the hell would you think it's a prank?”
“Look hyung,” Jisung said, “of all the people within our friend group that we'd expect to date, you and Chan-hyung are at the bottom of the list. There's like, zero chemistry between you two. It was shocking enough that you decided to become roommates, but dating??? You guys??? Don't be ridiculous.”
“Just because you don't pay any attention to other people doesn't mean that other people don't do things outside of your viewpoint, Han Jisung,” Minho answered, his deadpan stare now turning into a full on death glare, “the whole reason I was even complaining about being single so much was to drop hints at Channie-hyung.”
“Wait, really?” Chan asked, looking over at his boyfriend.
Minho must have admitted that without realizing, because he immediately got bashful and clamped his mouth shut, simply nodding in reply. Chan could've swooned, he was so cute.
Instead, he just gave him a big kiss on the cheek, which made Minho even more flustered.
Across the table, Changbin let out a groan. “Dude, no point trying to play it up now, it's not gonna make us believe your little dating prank any more.”
“It's not a prank!” Chan exclaimed, frustration starting to grow within.
“Okay then, how exactly did you guys get together?” Felix asked, “what launched this new chapter of supposed romance in your lives?”
Minho gave Felix a smug grin. “You wanna know? I'll gladly share the romantic tale…”
2 days prior:
Minho had just arrived home from his dance class, feeling exhausted and ready to take a long and relaxing bath. As he walked into the living room, he saw Chan sitting on the couch, messing around with a new track he'd been trying to put together all week. Without another word, Minho walked over to the couch and plopped onto it, moving his legs across Chan’s lap. Chan easily lifted his arms up to accommodate the motion before going right back to work, and Minho just looked at him for a moment. Then he tugged on Chan’s sleeve to get his attention.
“Hyung,” he said, “I really like you.”
Chan looked over at him, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Oh really?” He answered, “I like you too.”
“I mean that romantically.”
“So do I.”
“Wanna date then?”
“Absolutely.”
“Cool.”
“We should kiss now, right?”
“Yes, I think that would be a good idea.”
“....and then we made out for like twenty minutes, and now here we are, telling you idiots about our new relationship.”
The rest of the group just stared at them, for what felt like eternity but was probably less than a minute.
“Oh bullshit,” Jeongin finally said, “you really expect us to believe that you just got together with a simple bland conversation? That is the least romantic thing I've ever heard!!”
Minho scoffed, “what did you expect, a k-drama? Real life isn't that dramatic. My parents got engaged the exact same way, I'll have you know!”
“We were going to tell everyone right after,” Chan added, “but we were so giddy about it happening that we completely forgot.”
“I already didn't believe you before but now I really don't,” Jeongin replied, “that's the fakest getting together story in existence. Do you think we're stupid?”
“Honestly? I think I'm starting to!” Minho snapped back.
Chan sighed, as the whole table completely devolved into non-stop bickering around him. This was shaping up to be the most exhausting afternoon of his whole life.
“Y’know I expected dramatics,” Minho said, after they'd left and were now walking home, “we’re friends with Hwang Hyunjin, he makes everything dramatic. But to not even believe us? That's a whole new level, even for them. I don't even know how to react to it.”
“Yeah I'm not really sure either…., replied Chan, “should we be over the top with PDA or something? Would that get them to see the truth?”
“I feel like that would make them think it's even more fake. Like we're trying to compensate and sell the ‘ruse’ of it all. But if we just continue to act like we normally do, then I doubt that'll convince them either, they'll think we gave up on the ‘prank’.”
“Well, we aren't going to act exactly the same as before. We weren't dating before. I wasn't going to hold your hand or kiss you before, now I plan to do that all the time. Maybe…they just need time? They'll get used to us being a couple, and then it'll set it that this is legit. That us, as an item, is legit.”
Minho sighed, scuffing his feet against the ground. “I certainly hope so. I mean, we can play it up a little at least. If they're gonna be stupid about it all, then I'm gonna be obnoxious right back. I don't usually enjoy excessive affection in public, but for now…..I'll allow all of it. You love being cheesy and all that, so go ahead.”
Chan wasted zero time, crowding Minho against the wall of a building and kissing him senseless. Minho melted against him, hands clutching the fabric of Chan’s shirt while Chan ran his own hands through Minho’s hair.
“Like that?” He asked softly, after he finally pulled away.
Minho bit his lip, clearly not trying to smile too much.
“Yeah,” he whispered back, “just like that.”
Chan took Minho’s permission for excessive shows of affection and ran a goddamn marathon with it. He wasn't completely ridiculous about it all, but enough to make random strangers give them weird looks whenever they were in public places.
Surely, this would be enough to prove to their (idiot) friends that they were dating for real, right?
Well.
Wrong.
Minho's primary prediction came true, and the rest of the group immediately assumed they were “playing it up” to promote the ruse.
When Chan asked what benefit them playing a prank or faking anything would even bring, and the rest didn't even have an answer!! Just unsure grumbling.
Despite the lack of belief of the friend group, however, Chan’s relationship with Minho was going absolutely swimmingly.
He'd kinda always had a mild crush on Minho, but never really considered it enough to warrant doing anything about it. Chan was very glad that Minho made the first move, because being Minho’s boyfriend was honestly the best thing to ever happen to Chan.
When it was just the two of them; Minho was incredibly affectionate, complimented Chan excessively any chance he got (making Chan feel ridiculously bashful), and when it came to the physical aspect of the relationship they moved quite fast. It hadn't even been a month and they already started having sex. And Minho was phenomenal at that part, too. He was passionate, he was loud, he was sensitive, and he really knew how to make Chan lose his fucking mind.
Best boyfriend ever. Truly.
And since they were roommates before they dated, he already had the privilege of eating Minho’s cooking. But now Minho went out of his way to cook Chan’s favorite meals! Just because he wanted to treat him!! And sometimes he wouldn't even wear anything under his chef apron, so after dinner Chan would get the best kind of dessert- a lap full of dancer that was all hot and needy for him and only him.
All in all, it was the best.
However. There was always one thing to dampen Chan’s cheerful honeymoon-phase spirits: his dunbass friends.
Whenever Chan tried to gush about how happy he was to everyone else in their friend group, they still didn't believe him! Dating Minho truly did bring out a whole new side of the guy because the second Chan mentioned how sweet and romantic Minho was, he was met with scoffs of doubt.
“We're talking about the same Minho?” Jisung had replied, after Chan finished going on about how Minho went out of his way to get his mom’s special soup recipe and made it for him for dinner the other day- just because Chan had been struggling with his work project and was feeling a bit burned out!
“Yes, this is the same Minho,” Chan said, crossing his arms, “I know it's a common name but I only know the one.”
“The same Lee Minho that threatens to cook Hyunjin in the air fryer three times a week? The same Minho that asked if I wanted a bite of his cheesecake and when I said yes proceeded to just eat the whole thing while staring right at me, and then when I called him out on it he just laughed in my face?”
“Yes, that Minho.”
“The same Minho that has made not one, not two, but three elementary students cry??? The same Minho that makes a whole game out of antagonizing Seungmin? The same Minho that threatens murder to all of us on a regular basis??”
“Okay but we all know Seungmin gets as much of a kick out of it as Minho does, that doesn't count.”
“That Minho, is making you sentimental meals from your childhood just because he wanted to make you feel better??”
“Yes, that Minho.”
“No fucking way dude.”
“It's true!! I swear!! Have I ever lied to you??”
“Well I'm pretty sure you're lying about this relationship, so, I'd say yes.”
Chan rolled his eyes, his entire mood souring further. “Whatever man, if you can't see that my relationship with Minho is legitimate then that's on you.”
The lack of belief continued on as another month went by, despite the efforts from both Chan and Minho to prove that yes, they were actually dating.
On one of their weekend Smash Bros tournaments, Minho and Chan actually showed up quite late after getting very distracted by, well, each other.
“What took you guys so long?” Changbin asked, after they finally walked through the front door of his house.
“Chan-hyung couldn't keep his hands off of me,” Minho explained.
“You can't just go around looking like that and not expect me to do anything about it,” Chan said with a shrug.
Changbin ignored them both. “No seriously, did you get stuck in traffic? I think there's some construction going on a few streets over.”
Minho blinked once. Twice. “We were having sex, Changbin.”
Changbin snorted. “Yeah, okay. Whatever you say.”
“We were!” Chan argued, as they walked over to the living room to join the others, “I still don't know how we keep having to convince you of this!”
“Uh-huh, very funny you guys. Real committed to the bit.”
“They're still at it?” Seungmin chimed in from his spot on the couch, “The Menace and The Straight Man are still insisting that they're in love, are they?”
“I am not straight,” Chan said.
“Could've fooled me.”
“Minho’s dick was in my mouth not even an hour ago.”
Seungmin just let out a huff of amusement.
“I am not making this up!” Chan exclaimed, once again feeling more and more frustrated.
“Pics or it didn't happen,” Felix said, pointing at the couple.
“Why the hell would I show any of you pictures of my dick in Chan-hyung's mouth?” Minho said, “that is for my viewing pleasure alone, thank you.”
“Then you've got no proof to back it up,” Felix replied with a shrug.
Minho rolled his eyes so hard his entire face moved with the motion.
“Whatever,” he muttered, walking over to sit down between Jisung and Jeongin, “we playing now or what?”
Felix ended up winning the tournament overall, to nobody's surprise. He was kind of a monster at that game. Chan was right at his ankles though, and managed to secure second place after a long and brutal final match where all stops were pulled out, neither played fair, and the whole room was filled with yelling.
“Why do they still think us dating is a joke?” Minho asked as they walked home at the end of the night, “it’s not like we're the type to pull such elaborate pranks.”
“Well, I have before,” Chan said, “but fake a whole relationship? I'd never do that. I know how those things end, and it's usually messy with a lot of heartbreak. Or with an actual relationship.”
“Yeah….well, maybe if enough time passes, they'll realize what we have is real. They can't be that stupid.”
“We could amp up our affection as well? I know we already tried a minor amount, but we might need to go even harder. Be extra, y'know, gross, as they say,” Chan suggested.
“....are you just using that as an excuse to kiss me more often?”
“A little bit.”
“You're adorable.”
It had become a sort of “elephant in the room” kind of topic after another month went by; no one really spoke up about whether or not Chan and Minho’s relationship was an elaborate ruse, but at the same time no one seemed to accept that it was, in fact, legitimate.
And they tried to heighten their PDA even more. They really did.
Minho spent half his time sitting on Chan’s lap, even if there was plenty of empty space. They held hands all the time, even when it was way too hot outside to be comfortable. They fed each other, they kissed all the time, the list went on!
They even brought out cheesy pet names! Minho started calling Chan “sweet baby darling”, although that eventually shortened to just “darling” or “baby”. He also started dropping the “hyung” at the end of Chan’s name, although that was a general decision between the two of them- Chan felt it unnecessary for his boyfriend to use honorifics with him.
Chan kept it simple with his- “Kitten”. Cutesy, corny, and it made Minho’s ears turn deep red every time he said it.
But alas, nothing seemed to make it click. Sure, their friends would make a show of gagging and calling them gross, but that would be followed with “just cut the act already!” or “we know you're faking it!”
It was starting to look like they had befriended the dumbest people in the world.
And then, finally, an opportunity arose: Hyunjin invited them all to go clubbing with him.
Because Minho loved going clubbing.
Chan also loved Minho going clubbing; because the man dressed like he was about to walk the sluttiest runway on earth. And then came home all hot, sweaty, and ready to eat Chan alive.
And on the nights that Chan went with Minho to the club? They wouldn't even make it home those nights, usually running off to some filthy bathroom to swap blowjobs. And then go home and have proper sex in their bed.
See, Minho was the hottest person on the planet on any typical day. But Minho when he was dancing? Having fun and in his element? It was like a Greek god had descended and blessed Chan personally with Literal Sex On Legs [bass boosted].
And this occasion was no different. In fact, with what Minho was wearing, Chan was pretty sure his boyfriend was trying to put him into early heart failure.
Surely, surely, the immense desire dripping from Chan's eyes would be noticed by their friends. Surely they would see that Chan and Minho wouldn't be able to fake the raw sexual tension that would no doubt build up and then snap once Minho pulled Chan off to some corner to make out. Surely this would finally bring them to the light!
“Wow,” Felix said with a whistle, after Minho and Chan met up with the rest of the group at the club’s entrance, “you trying to get lucky tonight, hyung?”
Minho smirked, “well considering how handsy Channie was on the way out, I doubt I'll have to try very hard.”
Felix glanced at Chan, and his eyebrows rose up a bit. He almost looked like he was starting to connect the dots, finally.
“Still keeping that whole fake dating thing going?” Jisung cut in, crossing his arms.
Minho glared at him. “I think you meant to say a legitimate relationship that is extremely legitimate.”
Felix scoffed, and looked away. “Whatever you say, hyungs.”
Dammit. They were so close. Usually Felix was one of the smarter ones, but put him next to Jisung and the two collectively lost all brain function. They were kind of a perfect match, in that way.
Minho sighed, shaking his head in defeat. “Whatever, let's just go in. I'm ready to lose myself on that dance floor.”
They walked through the entrance, all flashing their IDs to the bouncer. Minho led the way, with Chan taking the rear to make sure no one got left behind in the crowd. It wasn't a super large club- this place was a known queer-friendly bar and those weren't usually very big- but there were still an impressive amount of people there.
Glancing around , Chan could see that Minho had already made his way into the dancing area. The bass was thumping loudly, and it took a moment for Chan to recognize the song playing, the immediate wall of overwhelming noise hitting him like a train. He walked over to the bar and grabbed a cocktail for himself. As he slowly nursed his rum and punch, Chan let his attention be drawn to his boyfriend and just watched for a while.
Minho was stunning to look at.
Like a sinful angel, dancing against Hyunjin and drawing the eyes of everyone else around him. And sure, Hyunjin looked good too, but he wasn't even a lit match compared to the blazing torch that was Lee Minho.
‘All of these people want a piece, and they can't have any,’ Chan thought to himself proudly, ‘because he's all mine.’
A few moments later, Minho’s gaze caught Chan’s. All he could see in those eyes was pure hunger.
Chan smirked back, downing the rest of his drink before shuffling out to join his illegally sexy boyfriend on the floor.
Minho wasted zero time, tugging Chan in close and swiveling their bodies together to the pulse of the music.
Chan could feel as all of the people previously staring at just Minho now stared at the both of them- Hyunjin included, as he was still next to them. Good. Let them see who Minho only had eyes for. Let Hyunjin see that this fire between them as a couple was real.
Minho pulled Chan in tighter, kissing him fiercely as they kept moving. Chan kissed back eagerly, hands sliding around Minho’s waist as they fully made out right in the middle of the dance floor. Kissing Minho felt like such a dream; the other man was always so aggressive yet gentle, pressing himself close but leaving just enough space to be able to breathe so he wouldn't have to pull away at any point.
Minho’s hands began to wander, sliding down Chan’s chest and moving around to start grabbing at his ass. Chan couldn't hear the small moan he let out, but he did feel it vibrate in his throat as Minho pressed his thigh right against Chan’s dick.
Chan pulled away for just a moment. “D’you-”
“God, please, yes,” Minho said, cutting him off with a breathy whine, “I need you so badly.”
Well, if Chan wasn't turned on before, he sure was now!
He let Minho pull him away from the floor, and they soon found themselves in a dingy bathroom stall. As soon as the stall was closed and locked, Minho dropped right to his knees, undoing Chan’s belt and shoving his pants down just enough to pull his dick out at record speed. Minho gave the leaking tip a few kitten licks, before enveloping the entire shaft into his hot and wet mouth.
Chan let out a string of curses, slamming his head back against the stall as he put all effort into not letting his knees buckle immediately.
Minho started bobbing his head like a practiced expert, increasing the suction each time he pulled off and leading with his tongue every time he went back in. Chan felt himself start to get closer to orgasm sway too. quickly, and threaded his fingers into Minho’s hair to gently but firmly tug his insatiable boyfriend off of his dick.
”Don’ wanna come yet,” he said softly, “I don’t think you want me to either- you’re all prepped and ready, aren’t you Kitten?”
Eyes glazed over with pure lust, Minho just nodded.
Chan moved his hand to Minho’s arm to noise him back upright, returning the earlier favor and using his other hand to undo Minho’s pants and push them down to the other man’s knees. He swiftly flipped his boyfriend around, pushing him up against the other side of the stall and pressing two fingers into Minho’s hole. Minho let out a whine, biting his lip to keep himself from being too loud- they were somewhat in public, after all. He had definitely used an excess of lube when readying himself, and Chan took full advantage of that, lining up and slipping his dick in right away.
The next several minutes was a blur of skin against skin and dizzying pleasure as Chan quickly took his vixen of a boyfriend apart, fucking into im while giving him a firm reach around until they both reached a swift climax. No need for much romance, a bathroom quickie was a bathroom quickie. They could save the romance for round 2 back at home.
Once they were done and had taken a moment to re-compose themselves, they pulled their pants back up, re-tucking shirts and fixing messed up hair. Minho’s eyes wer still a little glassy, and Chan’s hair looked like someone had electrocuted him. Their faces were brightly flushed and they both had a noticeable sheen of sweat across their faces.
It was very evident that they had just fucked.
Good. Hopefully their idiot friends would notice.
As they walked back out of the bathroom, hand in hand, Chan looked around for all of their friends, and when he caught Hyunjin’s eye, he saw his friend do a physical double take, looking shocked.
“Hyunjin noticed us,” Minho said, echoing what Chan was thinking, “Channie, he noticed! And he seems to be connecting the dots! They’re finally going to get it!”
”It worked,” Chan replied, grin trenching from ear to ear, “no more trying to convince them, our plans finally worked!”
Minho tugged him into one more kiss; a victory kiss. A kiss of success. A kiss that took less than 10 seconds to include some very enthusiastic tongue and a non-verbal agreement to head on home to have that slower and more sensual round 2!
The next day, they met up at their usual café spot for their usual weekly brunch. Nearly everyone was a little hungover from the previous night, but Chan was able to ignore his mild headache with how giddy he and Minho felt. After all, their friends finally got the hint and life was going to be fantastic from here on out!
“God, my head is killing me. I barely remember anything from last night,” Hyunjin whined.
Minho shared a glance with Chan, looking a bit nervous.
“Well that's what you get for downing like, five shots of soju in less than half an hour,” Felix said, “you really thought that wasn't going to completely fuck you up?”
“Um, do you remember seeing me and Chan together? Dancing? Making out? Running off to the bathroom for a quickie?“ Minho asked.
Hyunjin tilted his head, seemingly trying to think.
”Uhhhh no. I kinda remember the dancing but nothing else.”
”Well surely someone else saw us, right?” Chan questioned, feeling more and more dread in his stomach as he looked at the rest of his friends.
They all shook their heads.
”I was flirting with a really cute girl, I just saw you guys on the dance floor for a brief moment,” responded Jisung.
Chanbin replied, “yeah I didn’t see anything either.”
Felix and Seungmin just shrugged.
”You’re joking. We were in plain sight!” Minho exclaimed, “we were locking lips right in the middle of that dance floor!”
”I mean, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything,” Jisung said, “I could kiss you on the lips right now and literally nothing would change.”
“I’ll break your jaw before you can even try it,” Chan growled, giving Jisung a death glare.
Jisung held his hands up in surrender. “Woah, cool the jealousy hyung! It was all theoretical, no need to rip my head off!“
“Don't suggest kissing my boyfriend then.”
”Y’know,” Hyunjin cut in, “the more you go out of your way to prove that you’re dating, the more suspicious you look. just saying.”
”Well we wouldn’t have to prove anything if you all would just open your eyes and really see what’s going on in front of you!” Chan said, feeling exasperated.
“Why is the idea of us being a couple so unbelievable anyways?” Minho asked.
“It just….doesn’t make sense,” Changbin said, “you gus just aren’t each other’s types. Minho-hyung is way too mean for someone as soft-hearted as Chan-hyung, and Chan-hyung is too short to fit into Minho-hyung’s dating pool criteria.”
Chan and Minho just sat there in silence for a moment, before Minho finally responded.
”First of all, I am a ray of fucking sunshine and my mean nature is hilarious. And second of all, what does height have to do with who I'd be willing to date? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Well you only ever date tall guys, hyung,” Jeongin said.
”I- I do not! Name one guy that I dated that was tall!”
”Seonghwa, Jungkook, Jinhyuk, Mingyu, Yunho, Juyeon…need I go on?”
Minho scowled. “Their height had nothing to do with why I dated them. I go by personality and muscle percentage. Height is not part of the equation! Ergo, Channie is absolutely my type! And he’s checked off all of my boxes. All of them.”
“…nah, still not buying it.”
Minho lunged forward trying to reach across the table to hit Jeongin, but Chan planted a firm hand on his thigh, keeping him seated. Minho needed to stay calm and maintain patience. He felt Minho relax at his touch.
“Look, the longer we keep this up, the stupider all of you are going to look for not believing us. Life will be easier for everyone once you accept the truth for what it is.”
“I know how competitive you can get hyung,” said Jisung, “you could easily keep this going for years out of pure spite and a desire to win!”
“That- what- that's-” Chan spluttered, “that's literally so dumb! Who would ever do that outside of really terrible fiction?”
“Well obviously you wo-”
“Y’know what?” Minho interrupted, “I think we should change the subject! Let's talk about literally anything else. Before I put myself onto the news.”
He was met with several grumbles but an overall assent of agreement. Felix quickly brought up a new pastry recipe he wanted to try and for the rest of the day, Chan and Minho’s relationship wasn't brought up again.
“I can't believe it,” Minho said, as they once again headed home, “we really do have the dumbest friends in the world. The whole universe, maybe. And it's not just not believing us when we're together, it's even when we're apart! I mean, a few weeks ago Jisung tried to get me to join him on some blind group date, and when I told him no because I was already in a serious relationship, he just laughed at me! And said ‘it’s okay hyung, you can find someone for real this way’. I just walked away, I was so annoyed! This is getting so old Chan, I'm so tired of this!”
“I know, it really is,” Chan sighed, “Changbin pulled me aside the other day and tried to reassure me that he was my ‘best friend’, and I could ‘tell him the truth’. And I said the truth was that you and I are dating, we like each other a whole lot, and we're in a romantic relationship. And he just rolled his eyes and went ‘fine, keep lying then’. I don't get it! I don't get why they won't believe us, but there has to be some kind of explanation beyond their apparent stupidity!”
Minho hummed, “maybe it's because we weren't very close before?”
“But we’ve lived together for ages.”
“We became roommates to save on bills though, didn't we? It was purely out of convenience. Our schedules didn't really mix and it wasn't until I started liking you that I actually tried to spend more time with you.”
“Kitten, you started hanging out with me more over a year ago.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“.....oh. You liked me for that long?”
Minho rolled his eyes and squeezed Chan’s hand. “Well, obviously. Don't grow a big head about it.”
He was trying to act aloof, but Chan saw his boyfriend’s ears rapidly turning bright red at the admission.
Chan smiled. “You're so cute. My adorable boyfriend, I love you so much~!”
Minho punched him on the arm. And then pulled him back and kissed him softly.
After that, Chan and Minho backed down a bit on playing up their relationship to the max. It didn't do anything to convince their friends, so what was the point?
And things seemed to fall back into some level of normalcy, the big elephant stayed in that corner of the room and wasn't to be disturbed. There would still be a few comments here and there, but at this point the couple had just started brushing them off and ignoring them.
Life carried on, and everything was fine.
That is, until Minho and Chan had their first fight.
See, Chan as a person was naturally a bit….flirty. It was never on purpose, he was always just nice to people! And sometimes those people (mainly women) thought that his kindness meant that he was, well, interested in them. Or at least they thought he was charming enough to shoot their shot at him.
And usually, Minho didn't care much about it. But during their most recent coffee date, the barista wrote her number on Chan’s cup. Chan thought nothing of it, showing it to Minho with a light chuckle and putting it out of his mind.
Minho, however, noticeably soured for the rest of the date, all the way until they got home.
“Min, are you okay? You seem….upset,” Chan asked, after Minho all but threw his shoes down on the ground.
“I'm fine,” Minho replied curtly.
“Clearly you're not.”
“I- I just wish you wouldn't let girls hit on you so much.”
“What? I'm not letting them, I'm just being polite!”
“Yeah, a little too polite.”
“C’mon, it's not that big of a deal-”
“This is the third time this week that some floozy has given you her number with a stupid little heart doodled next to it! The least you could do is shoot them down, especially since your boyfriend is sitting right across from you!”
“... actually this is the fourth time-”
“Oh my God, you are not helping.”
“It's not like I ever call them!” Chan said defensively, “I just don't want to be rude! And at the end of the day, you're the one I'm with, so I don't understand why you suddenly have such a problem with it! Are you seriously getting jealous?”
“Of course I'm getting jealous! Why wouldn't I be, when my goddamn boyfriend is going around acting like he's not even in a relationship!”
“Woah, okay, that is not true at all-”
“It’s like I don't even exist while you let anything with legs flirt with you to their hearts desire!”
“Oh well sue me for being a decent person instead of letting my resting bitch face scare everyone away!” Chan finally snapped.
This didn't feel fair, why was he being attacked all of a sudden? What the hell was Minho’s problem? He didn't usually act like this!
Minho stared at him, visibly seething.
“Whatever,” he spat, “do whatever you want. I need a shower. And then I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.”
And with that, Minho stormed off towards the bathroom. Chan threw his arms up in defeat, before going into the office and logging onto his laptop, loading up a video game to take his mind off of things.
It didn't really help.
The bed felt too big that night without Minho in it.
The next day, they were still quite pissed at each other, but they were supposed to meet with the friend group for lunch, so they sucked it up for the day, walking in silence the entire route to the cafe that they usually all met up at.
Of course, it was pretty obvious that they were at odds since they didn't say a single word to each other, and their friends picked up on it immediately.
“Woah, who pissed in your cereal today?” Jisung asked bluntly.
Chan let out a sigh, as Minho threw him a glare.
“Chan-hyung did,” Minho replied curtly.
Ouch. Bringing back the honorific. That was cold.
The whole table looked at Chan.
Chan just shrugged. “Apparently I lead girls on too much. Even though being a little bit flirty is just part of my natural personality.”
“I understand that it's part of your personality, and you know I'm fine with it,” Minho said, crossing his arms, “but it gets to a point where I start to feel invisible. Would it really be too much to just say ‘sorry I'm already seeing someone'?”
“Wait, why would this upset you so much?” Jisung asked, “it’s not like he's actually your boyfriend, Chan-hyung can flirt with whoever he wants.”
“Don't you guys think you're taking this whole joke a little too far?” Hyunjin added, “it's making you guys fight. You never fight.”
“Joke?” Minho echoed, staring Hyunjin down, “joke? You still think this whole thing is a fucking joke??”
“Um…. obviously?” Jisung said.
Minho opened his mouth, and then closed it. His face looked completely, utterly, and deeply offended.
Without another word, Minho stood up abruptly, and walked out of the cafe.
Chan fixed them all with a glare of his own. “Seriously? You guys are unbelievable. There's no way you all continue to be this stupid.”
And he got up and left too.
After stepping outside, Chan glanced around, trying to see where Minho walked off to. He didn't have to look far, seeing his boyfriend on the ground, curled up against the wall. The anger in his eyes seemed to have burned out, and now he just looked…..hurt.
There was something deeper going on, that must have been the real reason why Minho was so upset. Something more than just Chan being flirtatious. Something was really, really bugging Minho on the inside and he must have just….lashed out about it. And now that Chan thought about it, maybe he was a bit too lax about being in a relationship. Maybe Minho had every right to be jealous.
Chan sat down next to him, saying nothing. He could wait until Minho was ready to talk.
After a few minutes, he did.
“Is it really so ridiculous? That we're dating? That we love each other? Are we really that incompatible in their eyes?”
“I think they still think I'm straight,” Chan replied.
Minho snorted. “Well, I suppose you don't really talk about the men you're attracted to much.”
“Well I talk about you …but they don't believe me, so I guess it doesn't really count much. Hey, listen, I'm sorry.”
Minho looked over at him. Chan felt a pang in his heart when he saw a hint of tears in Minho’s eyes.
“For what?” Minho asked.
“For the flirting thing. I mean, thinking about it, I definitely could turn people down but still be polite about it. And I'm never doing it with any bad intentions, you know I'd never be unfaithful to you.”
“Yeah…I know. And I'm sorry too. I know you're just being nice and don't want to come off as rude, and that it's just in your nature. It was just frustrating because I was starting to feel ignored. And with how our friends keep doubting us…. it's started to make me feel insecure. And make me wonder if maybe what we have isn't actually real at all. It’s stupid. I'm sorry.”
Chan’s heart sank. “Oh Kitten…..I didn't even consider that you'd feel that way. You don't have to apologize, it's me who should be sorry. I'll be more firm and shut down any flirting from now on, okay?”
“I can tone down the jealousy. I definitely took it a little too far…”
“Wanna hug it out?”
“Yes please.”
Chan pulled Minho into an embrace, Minho tucking his head into the crook of Chan’s neck.
“I missed your hugs,” Minho said, voice slightly muffled against Chan’s shirt, “and the couch sucks. My back is killing me.”
Chan let out a laugh, “at least you had the cats, they completely abandoned me! I guess they'll always side with their dad over their step-dad.”
Minho pulled away, and gave Chan a quick kiss.
“Do you want to leave? I kind of want to leave. I'm still pissed at our friends and I don't think they deserve our presence today anymore. I think we should go home, and cuddle on the couch while watching TV.”
“I think that sounds like an excellent idea.”
“And then we can have a nice round of makeup sex.”
“Say less, lead the way!”
Several hours later, after watching 3 episodes of Minho’s favorite drama, and having one round of soft and slow lovemaking; the group chat pinged, with the others asking where Chan and Minho had gotten to.
Minho grabbed his phone and sent a reply:
Minho <3:
We went home
To fuck
Jeongin:
Lol okay sure
Chan:
It's true!!
Felix:
Pics or it didn't happen
Minho <3:
Stop trying to get my bf to send nudes
Jeongin:
What bf
Minho <3:
Count your days Yang Jeongin
Minho sighed, flopping his phone down against his bare chest.
“I give up,” he said.
Chan looked over at him, alarmed. “Give up? You don't mean…. you're not giving up on us, are you?”
“No, of course not. I'm too in love with you to ever do that. I'm giving up on our friends, and their ability to see the truth in front of them. They're never going to figure it out until we send wedding invites. And we can't legally get married yet, so that's going to take years. Decades, maybe. I'm not willing to put in the energy trying to change their minds anymore, I can't do it. I'm done. They can think I'm single and have joined the nunnery or something, but I'm not going to waste my time any longer. Not when I can just spend that time with you instead.”
“....that's….a very good point. Yeah. Why bother trying to convince them further when- and I say this with affection- their heads are so far up their own asses that they can't see what's clearly there? Let's just not bother anymore, you're right. Keeping up with this is making us fight, it's making us frustrated, and it's going to ruin the amazing relationship we have. I give up too.”
“I don't care that they'll think they've won either. Let them think it! I just care about being with you, Channie.”
Chan’s heart swelled with Minho’s words, and he smiled, pulling Minho into a happy kiss.
Yeah. To hell with what their friends thought. He had the best boyfriend in the world! And if himself and his family was the only one who knew about that, so be it!
So after that, they backed off entirely with their relationship. Acted as they normally would around each other, stopped showing affection in front of their friend group. Their friends seemed to think the ‘game’, or ‘prank’ or ‘joke’ or what-have-you had ended, and life was back to normal again. And Chan and Minho let them think that, all while holding hands underneath the table.
“It's been a while since Minho-hyung and Chan-hyung hosted a get together,” Jisung said, walking with the rest towards their eldest friends’ apartment, “I've forgotten what hyung’s cats looked like. I bet they forgot I existed.”
“I wish I could forget you existed,” Seungmin said sarcastically.
“Ha ha, you adore me, Seungminnie. Which number is it again? 324 or 325?”
“325,” Felix replied, quickening his pace towards the front, “I know the code too, so we won't have to knock.”
Felix punched in the code, mumbling the numbers to himself as he did so. The lock beeped positively and they all heard the door lock click. Felix cheerfully swung it open…..to reveal a very sweaty Chan and Minho going at it missionary style on the couch, right in plain view of the doorway.
The two didn't seem to notice the door had been opened- until Minho locked eyes with the group, his mouth open as he moaned and painted as Chan kept thrusting.
Then Minho smirked. And loudly cried out Chan’s name, begging him to fuck him harder.
Hyunjin quickly reached forwards past Felix, grabbing the door knob and swinging it shut.
Several moments of silence passed, although they weren't entirely silent because now they could slightly hear Chan and Minho still fucking from behind the door.
“....holy shit,” Changbin finally said, “they really were dating the whole time.”
Hyunjin nodded. “Guys, I think we're all really, really stupid.”
The door from the next apartment over opened up, and someone walked out of it. He looked at the group of them, just standing outside of the door, and snorted.
“Sexiled, huh?” he asked.
“I guess…?” Felix replied, “we…. didn't actually realize they were dating…until now.”
The neighbor raised an eyebrow. “Haven’t known them very long?”
Jisung cleared his throat awkwardly. “We've all been friends for years.”
“.....seriously? And you didn't know? Wow. You guys must be really, really stupid.”
“Yeah I think we gathered that,” said Seungmin, looking down at his feet.
The door to Chan and Minho’s apartment opened, Minho peeking out- fully dressed, thankfully. But noticeably red in the face and sweaty.
“Oh, you all made it! What have you been doing waiting out here? Hello Younghyun-hyung, good to see you!” he said, way too cheerfully.
The neighbor- Younghyun- snickered, “you two really are insatiable.”
Minho winked at him. “Well, with a man like Channie in my life, you really think I'm not going to indulge as much as I want? Be reasonable. Alright, you all can come in. The apartment is decent now. I promise! Well, mostly anyways.”
He walked back into the apartment, and the rest of the group followed, somewhat nervously.
Chan was placing down bowls of snacks, then plopped himself down on the couch, giving them all a big smile.
“Well!” he said cheerfully, “heard you had a bit of a show! Believe us now?”
Sheepishly, they all nodded their heads, and mumbled a mix of “yes” and “we're sorry” and “we were dumb”.
“You're lucky we're so forgiving,” Minho replied, sitting next to Chan and resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, “especially considering you kept denying us for nine months. Nine fucking months, that's long enough to carry a full term pregnancy! Hopefully it won't take that long for you to come to our future wedding!”
Changbin sighed, “you two are never going to let us live this down, are you?”
Minho smirked devilishly, noticing how they all avoided sitting on the couch. “Not in our entire lifetime.”
True to his word, they didn’t. Not for months. Not for years.
Jisung admitted to Minho several months later that he had a crush on Felix- had liked him for a while actually, but only just now realized it.
Minho looked him dead in the eyes and said, “are you sure this isn’t a joke? You could just be faking it.”
Jeongin went to Chan for love advice, wanting to ask out Hyunjin but worried that Hyunjin already had eyes for Changbin.
Chan’s reply was, “try again in nine months. I don’t think I believe you.”
And when the day came that Minho and Chan were finally able to get married, they both added in their vows a cheeky joke about hoping it “won’t take nine months for their friends to all recognize their marriage”. To which their friends all groaned and whined, “it’s been over a decade! Can’t you let it go already??”
Chan and Minho just grinned, and simultaneously said “never.”