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Huo Yan half-sits, half-collapses against a stone slab, adrenaline starting to fade now that the Xingang Port oil spill disaster has been stopped. His squad follow his lead, slumping to the ground around him—the shock and horror of everything they had just seen leaving them too exhausted to talk. The sweat and ash are caked over his face, and every breath is a combination of petrichor and oil fumes.
Huo Yan rolls his head a little to the side and sees another firefighting team making their way over to sit down for some rest on the other side of the access road, plates of quickly assembled food in hand. They all have a hollow look in their eyes, one Huo Yan has seen too many times in this line of work. Unlike Huo Yan’s squad who are silent due to exhaustion, the group across from them are enveloped in a fog of grief.
One of their number sits, chewing slowly on their food for a moment before turning to a helmet with a broken visor resting on a slab of concrete, and then, absurdly, placing a piece of fried chicken in front of it. Their body starts to shake with quiet sobs, and Huo Yan looks away to give them what little privacy he can.
Despite the filth on his face, and the unforgiving chunks of concrete around him, at that moment he’s never felt more comfortable. Other brigades are currently working on cleaning up, and he has time to rest a little.
It’s with a peaceful sigh that Huo Yan closes his eyes, assuming he’ll be able to grab a few moments of sleep before they head home.
──── ∞ ────
“Do you need anything, Huo Yan?”
Huo Yan stares blankly at the side of the truck for a moment, thoughts spinning in confusion as he tries to make sense of his surroundings. The ash and smell of smoke are gone, and although some exhaustion lingers in his bones, the day is bright with morning light.
“Huo Yan?”
There’s a faint ringing in his ears, and for a moment he wonders if he’d just had a long and extremely vivid dream. Perhaps the fumes from the tunnel fire had gotten to him more than he thought?
“Hey!”
A hand grabs his arm and gives him a quick shake, finally settling his thoughts and bringing the world back into focus, and he turns to face his friend.
Luo Jie’s amused face stares back at him as the other man raises a brow. “You awake? The others are back and ready to go; do you need to grab anything?”
There’s a long moment as Huo Yan blinks through the deja vu. “Did I sleep through us leaving Xingang Port?”
Luo Jie frowns at him. “Xingang Port? What are you talking about—we just rescued that demon cat from a tree in the Xincun neighborhood.”
The cat? Huo Yan frowns. Didn’t we do that yesterday?
Huo Yan pulls himself up into the passenger seat, the chilling feel of deja vu growing. The others settle into the back, laughing and joking. The comments and banter between them are so impossibly familiar. There’s a moment where he wonders again if he had just experienced a very intense dream, or maybe the demon cat they pulled down from the tree passed on its evil energy to the point he was dreaming up horrible future experiences.
Maybe he still hasn’t woken up fully, but the trepidation clings to him. As impossible as it feels, there’s a part of him that wonders: what if?
Ma Qian Li pulls out a sugary treat, and suddenly the events of the dream that happened before the oil spill surge forward in Huo Yan’s mind.
“Give that here,” Huo Yan commands without thinking, reaching out to snatch it away.
“Boss!” Ma Qian Li exclaims in disbelief, “I just bought that! I deserve it after the battlescars I gained.” He holds up his arms that are covered in scratches.
Huo Yan stares at the candy stick of pure sugar in his hand, brain still struggling to believe the unbelievable.
Their radio crackles with an incoming call.
A girl, five years old, collapsed at a park. Huo Yan thinks.
“—no previous medical concerns, both parents at the scene—”
Huo Yan clicks his seatbelt into place. Luo Jie responds in affirmation that they are en route, and he switches on the sirens and lights as they pull out of the parking lot.
While Luo Jie focuses on getting them there quickly, Huo Yan pulls out his phone and does a quick Baidu search for Xingang Port. Basic information about shipping times and codes appears first, but nothing about an oil spill or fire. Which could mean nothing.
Huo Yan shoves his phone back into his pocket. There’s no point worrying about what might happen; he should focus on the present.
Luo Jie navigates them to the park where the five year old girl has collapsed. An ambulance is on the way as well, but as first responders who were already nearby, they can work to stabilize the patient until the EMTs arrive.
Jiang Tong grabs their first aid bag as they all jump down from the truck, a small crowd of people making it clear where the problem is.
The girl’s mother is frantic as they approach, holding her daughter partly on her lap with shaky hands. “Please help her! She just fell down all of a sudden, and now she’s weak and shaking.”
Jiang Tong smoothly sets down and opens their first aid kit, leaning over to check the girl’s vital signs.
“What’s your daughter’s name?” she asks. “Any other signs or symptoms before she collapsed?”
“Xiao Ming,” the mother, soothed by Jiang Tong’s composed and confident manner, allows Li Yan Liang to take her daughter from them so they can access her better. “She was fine, but then suddenly got light headed. She’s been shaking and chilled, and also seems a little confused.”
“Did she hit her head on anything?”
As Jiang Tong continues to ask questions, Huo Yan pulls the sugary snack he stole from Ma Qian Li out of his pocket. He studies it like it holds the answers to the crazy reality he has ended up in, before shifting to kneel down beside Xiao Ming while opening the snack.
“Xiao Ming,” he coaxes, “can you take a bite of this for me?”
The little girl is irritated, shoving at his hands weakly, her skin pale.
Jiang Tong glances over at him. “You think it’s a blood sugar crash?”
I know it is, Huo Yan thinks. But there’s no logical way to explain that.
“The symptoms and the age match,” Huo Yan says instead. “We should be able to see a difference pretty quick.”
Once Xiao Ming has been persuaded to eat the candy, there’s slow but steady improvement. Li Yan Liang is quick to lighten the mood, cracking jokes for Xiao Ming to make her feel better, and Jiang Tong talks to the mother. Even as the ambulance arrives, Luo Jie is the one who greets the EMTs, brings them over, and updates them on what happened.
Through it all Huo Yan had shifted off to the side, deep in thought. This sort of event, while not usual, is also not uncommon. But it’s not significant enough that it would be something he dreams about happening, especially not the exact playthrough of events. So how did he dream what’s been happening today? And if this event has truly occurred… what about the oil spill at Xingang Port?
“Huo Yan.”
Huo Yan turns to face Li Yan Liang, who called his name.
“The EMTs and Ji Yuan are going to take over from here; we’re free to head out.”
Huo Yan starts his walk back to the truck and pulls out his phone to check the time. If it’s real, they’ll get the call soon.
Huo Yan knows he’s being unusually distant as the rest of his team pile back into the truck and pull away from the park. Jiang Tong is teasing Ma Qian Li once again about his cat battlescars, and Wang Da Yin joins in, clearly hoping the rookies stay distracted by Ma Qian Li’s misfortune. Any other day, Huo Yan would join in. But instead he keeps an eye on a local news site, constantly refreshing the page.
As he looks back up to the road in front of them, he realizes exactly where they are.
“Luo Jie,” Huo Yan says, “stop.”
“What?” Luo Jie doesn’t even spare a glance as he maneuvers around another car to get into the intersection.
“Stop.” Huo Yan repeats, louder. “Stop, now!”
Luo Jie hits the brakes, and everyone in the truck is thrown forward, Ma Qian Li sprawling against the seat in front due to not having done up his seatbeat once again.
Before anyone can complain about the sudden stop, a car ignoring the red light and sirens goes flying past in front of them, a hair away from scraping the firetruck’s bumper.
Li Yan Liang exclaims in surprise, reaching over to haul Ma Qian Li back upright. “Are they blind?”
There’s a stunned silence. He can see Luo Jie already turning towards him, but Huo Yan would really rather not address how he knew that might happen. He’s not sure if there’s any explanation he could provide that would make sense.
Before anyone can say anything, there’s a static crackle from the radio.
There is a fire at the oil depot.
Other units from Dongshan and surrounding stations are already on the way, but everyone available is needed.
The mood in the truck plummets as they all register the severity of the situation.
“We need to switch to full protective gear,” Huo Yan orders. “Drink and eat while you can now—you’re going to need the energy.”
As they reach Xingang Port, other trucks are already setting up, firefighters working hard to put out the flames that have already spread beyond the burning tank, as well as working along the tank’s walls in an attempt to cool it down.
Luo Jie parks their truck, and everyone jumps out. Wang Da Yin takes the rookies with him to connect their hoses to the external water supply. Wu Zheng works on getting the foam spray set up, while Huo Yan, Luo Jie, Li Yan Liang, and Ma Qian Li work together to get two hoses going in order to join the other teams working on pushing back the oil currently creeping forward from the large tank. Last time, in his dream, when the car had collided with them at the intersection, it had delayed their arrival at the port until after the oil spill had already spread significantly.
Luo Jie and Huo Yan both aim their hoses at the burning oil, and Li Yan Liang and Ma Qian Li stand behind them supporting the hoses and keeping them raised to let the water flow smoothly. The chief of staff in charge of the zone is directing them forward, and they slowly start to contain the spill fire to a small area, just the oil pooled around the base of the tank. Yet just when it seems like it might be possible to prevent the spread, Huo Yan sees flames start flickering from the roof. He grits his teeth.
The order comes through to set up the three-section ladders and foam hooks. They don’t have enough teams here currently to flood the oil with sufficient water, but if they can reach it with foam they’ll be able to smother it. Wang Da Yin has returned with the rookies, who quickly carry over their ladder.
Luo Jie continues to keep the fire back with Ma Qian Li’s support, and Huo Yan hands over the nozzle of his hose to Li Yan Liang. He then turns to help the rookies set up the ladder while Wu Zheng connects the pressurized foam mixture to the hook pipe. They extend the ladder to its maximum height and Huo Yan grabs firmly to support it as Wang Da Ying starts climbing.
Right as Jiang Tong is about to start climbing up too, Huo Yan becomes aware of a commotion further down the line of firefighters.
“Fall back, it’s going to explode!”
A man grabs the firefighter holding the ladder next to Huo Yan, shaking him roughly.
“Listen to me! Get out of here!”
The others ignore him, focusing on their tasks. Huo Yan grips the ladder tighter as Wang Da Yin climbs up further, casting an uneasy glance at the oil tank. He does remember something about it exploding last time in his dream, but it had been before they arrived at the scene, and he doesn’t know the full details.
“The tank is going to explode, we need to retreat!”
Another firefighter grabs the yelling man and they tussle for a moment, shouting at each other.
It is risky, climbing the tank as they are. But an oil fire is difficult to put out, and if they can get to the top to cover the tank with foam while the oil is still contained, they have a much greater chance of preventing the fire from spreading and growing.
Right as Wang Da Yin reaches the midway point on the ladder, Huo Yan doesn’t even have time to shout as the oil tank roof cracks and a wave of pressure and fire blasts forth. Despite his best efforts to hold the ladder steady, Huo Yan is knocked back multiple feet.
There is a ringing in his ears and his left arm aches. Pushing himself up on his right arm even as he gasps for breath, he looks frantically for Wang Da Yin.
His team mate lies on his left side nearby, not moving and with his right sleeve smoldering. Huo Yan shoves himself upright at once, ignoring his own aches and pains to kneel next to Wan Da Yin, patting firmly along his sleeve to extinguish the flames.
As Huo Yan tilts Wan Da Yin’s face towards himself, he sees his team member is conscious but winded and wheezing slightly for breath. “Hold on,” he orders, grabbing Wang Da Yin’s right arm to pull him upright.
Luo Jie races over to join them, slinging Wang Da Yin’s left arm over his shoulders and helping Huo Yan to keep him up. Together they stagger away to a safer place, but Huo Yan still turns his head to see the oil seeping forward, the fire growing with every breath. It will burn for hours now, Huo Yan knows all too well.
As they drag Wang Da Yin clear, while he slowly recovers his breath, the rest of Dongshan squadron crowd around. There is a growing sense of horror as they watch the results of the tank explosion, the oil fire spreading and growing quickly. Even Huo Yan, who has dreamed it before, can’t help a stunned look.
“Lao Liang, Lao Wu,” Huo Yan calls, “go get more of the foam spray hoses, we need to contain the fire before it spreads any further.”
The two older men set off at once. Huo Yan checks on Wang Da Yin one last time before ordering the rest of them to set up the hoses. If what happened in his dream happens again, there’s no chance of them being able to suppress the oil fire until other trucks arrive from more provinces. The best they can do for now is contain the oil as much as possible.
The hours that follow are relentless. Sometimes it feels like the work they are doing is useless—the oil continues to spread with every breath, and the fire continues to grow. Every time it seems like they’ve managed to get things under control, something else happens to make matters worse. Minor explosions almost seem like a continuous sound, pipes bursting and debris falling at every turn.
Until all of a sudden, the tide turns. Bit by bit they start to push the oil back, containing and smothering it section by section. It’s every bit as tiring and draining as he remembers, especially as they work through the entire night. But finally he stands there cheering next to everyone else, the feeling of exhilaration coursing through his veins.
Other squadrons arrive for cleanup, and as one of the first to respond, Huo Yan and his Dongshan crew get a chance to sit and relax.
Huo Yan slumps down against a stone slab, adrenaline fading, almost wanting to laugh about the weirdness of that dream he had this morning. Maybe he should buy a lottery ticket—who knows what he might be able to predict next.
The same team as last time sit across the access road from them, and Huo Yan can’t help but notice once again the grief in their eyes. He’s thankful everyone from his squadron has made it safe and sound, but he takes a moment to grieve the death of the unknown firefighter.
He lets his head slump down, his eyes falling shut. The worst is over, and he can finally rest for a bit.
──── ∞ ────
“Do you need anything, Huo Yan?”
Huo Yan opens his eyes slowly, taking in a deep breath of smoke-free air. There’s a headache starting to throb behind his eyes, but he ignores the pain as he takes in his surroundings. Morning sun, convenience store, parking lot.
Why couldn’t the headache have been from the fumes of fighting an oil spill fire? Why is he waking up here again?
“Huo Yan?”
Huo Yan looks over at Luo Jie. “What neighborhood were we just in?”
“Xincun,” Luo Jie answers. “Did that demon cat get a swipe at your head when we pulled it out of the tree?”
Huo Yan scoffs as he pushes upright and goes to climb into the truck. The others aren’t quiet as they climb in too, joking and laughing at each other as they’ve done multiple times now.
He’s not even surprised this time as the call about the collapsed five year old girls comes through, responding on autopilot to all of it.
He presses a hand to his face as the headache behind his eyes grows worse. What is it about this day that he’s forced to live it time and time again? He’s seen dramas and movies, he’s heard his mother’s ramblings about fate numerous times, but if he’s stuck in this loop to correct some worldly mistake, he’s not sure what it’s meant to be. There’s no chance he can stop the oil spill—he doesn’t return early enough for that. The girl in the park is saved, the driver of the car is okay, the oil fire itself is extinguished.
Unless he was cursed somehow by that abominable cat, he can’t think of anything that would cause him to get stuck.
“Huo Yan,” Luo Jie calls quietly from beside him, “you’re grinding your teeth again, and you’re not even asleep this time.”
Huo Yan opens his eyes and forcefully relaxes his jaw. “I’m fine.”
Luo Jie glances away from the road for a moment to shoot him a doubtful look. “I’ve told you, grinding teeth is due to mental stress. Don't always try to shoulder everything alone. Talk to your brothers.”
Huo Yan can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips. Talk? Ah yes the extremely believable scenario of living the same day multiple times. Li Yan Liang will never let him hear the end of it if he claims to be stuck in a time loop.
He continues on autopilot for the next while, assisting with the girl and delaying the truck’s departure to prevent the car crash. All the while he runs through the events of the oil spill again and again, trying to consider it from every angle and spot where he’s missed a key factor.
This time, as they respond to the oil spill call, Huo Yan directs them to help with sorting out the containers of foam and setting up hoses. Even as another team pushes forward with trying to cool down the burning tank, he keeps his own team back.
It eats at his honor a little bit, knowing that the tank will explode and not doing anything to stop it. But he saw what happened to the firefighter the previous time who tried to warn people. While Huo Yan’s squad might listen to him, he is only a deputy chief and has no authority to overrule the chief of staff. If there’s no way to prevent the oil tank from exploding, the best he can do is keep his own team safe so that they can help more once the oil breaks containment.
This time as the tank’s roof bursts and the firefighters are knocked back by a wave of pressure, Huo Yan is ready with his team.
“Lao Liang,” he calls, “Lao Wu, keep the fire from spreading too far forward. Ma Qian Li, Wang Da Yin, bring the rookies and help drag any of the injured firefighters free. Some might need help getting to the medical tent.”
The older two move forward, each holding a hose and spraying water to fend off the burning oil, giving the firefighters who had been flung backwards by the blast a chance to get clear. The rest of them move forward quickly, helping those who can’t walk. Huo Yan quickly pats out a fire on someone’s leg before attempting to pull them upright. The man staggers for a moment before leaning heavily on Huo Yan as he shuffles them away from the blaze.
With Huo Yan’s Dongshan crew ready and able to help, they’re able to quickly clear all of the fallen firefighters out of the fire’s path.
The injured handled, they start working on containment. Huo Yan can’t help but feel a little useless—the burning oil is endless and it doesn’t seem like there’s any progress being made. He knows soon the fire will get even worse, but there are special brigades tasked with the front line duties who are better trained and better equipped to deal with major issues. He only hopes that providing enough support will give them the time they need to get the work done.
The Dongshan Brigade continue to hose the burning oil back, the flames burning higher and higher as more leaks out. Wu Zheng is spraying the foam mixture over as much of the area as he can, but the further the oil spreads, the more impossible it becomes to smother it. Their supply is already limited as is; at this rate there’s no way it can last.
Right as Huo Yan is about to send the rookies off for more foam, there is a loud crash from behind him, followed by a screech of tires. He instinctively ducks to the side in response to the noise and turns to see a fallen street light lying on the ground, the cause of the noise, and a firefighter on a motorbike who crashed in an attempt to avoid it. The back of the bike is laden with containers of foam, making it heavy and hard to lift back up.
“Hurry! Someone help!” the fallen firefighter cries.
Huo Yan hurries over to assist, grabbing the back of the bike and helping haul it upright. There’s a brief moment as the unknown firefighter turns back to toss out a word of thanks when Huo Yan locks eyes with him. Even with the smoke and water spray everywhere making it hard to see, there’s something very familiar about the man in front of him.
And then the moment is gone, engine revving as the other firefighter speeds away.
Huo Yan blinks a couple of times, trying to figure out where he might have seen the other before.
“Huo Yan!”
Huo Yan turns back at Luo Jie’s call, already shoving the thoughts of the other firefighter to the back of his mind, and getting back to work.
From there, everything continues smoothly. Huo Yan, who has done this multiple times now, seems to have an almost supernatural talent for predicting when and where the fire might escalate. The foam runs out pretty quickly, but they work on pushing the burning oil into contained areas with the water, which works well when the helicopters fly over and dump dry powder.
As the fight goes on, time starts to blur together. He’s somehow both cold from being drenched by all the water spraying everywhere, and hot from the waves of fire that blast out. Huo Yan thinks longingly of the days of pulling cats out of trees.
At some point there’s a large explosion from around the other side of the tank, the wave of flames receding and then crashing forward all at once. The ground rolls unnervingly and the supports for the pipe way over the access road buckle, sending the entire rack smashing to the ground.
Huo Yan vaguely hears a broadcast over the radio about the death of a firefighter from another squadron. He lowers his head for a moment in respect with the rest of his team and fights to catch his breath.
Everyone else cheers, fists pumping into the air, celebrating the fact that the fire is finally out. But Huo Yan just feels hollow. The first time, or even the second time, he felt victorious over their work containing the fire. But this time he’s just tired. If he had to live a day on repeat, why couldn’t it be when he was on vacation, or had a chance to sleep in? At this point he almost can’t even remember what food that isn’t hastily consumed ration bars tastes like.
He shares back pats and hugs with his jubilant team members once again. They navigate around piles of debris and rocks to find somewhere to sit. While the others grab plates of food and start to dig in, Huo Yan makes himself at home on some slabs of concrete, sitting down and relaxing.
Please don’t reset, he thinks desperately as the exhaustion sets in, please let me wake up in a few hours and go home.
He closes his eyes.
──── ∞ ────
“Do you need any—”
“No,” Huo Yan says. “Get in the truck, let’s go.”
Luo Jie is surprised by Huo Yan’s gruff speech, but simply holds his hands up and backs away, moving to climb into the driver’s seat.
Huo Yan pinches the bridge of his nose as he battles through a moment of lightheadedness. The adjustment back to the previous day’s morning is always rough. He climbs into the passenger seat and immediately twists around to grab the snack out of Ma Qian Li’s hands.
Ma Qian Li starts protesting immediately, showing off the three small red lines of “battle scars” on his arm with wounded eyes.
“Remember to buckle your seatbelt every time today and I’ll give it back,” Huo Yan lies.
The rest of the team, seemingly a little surprised by Huo Yan’s abrupt attitude, quickly get themselves sorted.
“Start driving,” Huo Yan orders Luo Jie, “turn right out of the parking lot and head east.”
Luo Jie shoots him a confused look but clocks his weird mood and doesn’t question him. Within moments the firetruck is heading out.
Huo Yan picks up the handheld radio, waits patiently as the call for the diabetic girl comes through, and confirms their attendance. With a quick motion he switches on the lights and sirens.
Luo Jie sends him another look, clearly wanting to ask questions but Huo Yan closes his eyes and tilts his head back to rest on the seat behind him, pretending he doesn’t see the questioning stares from the others.
There has to be something he’s missing, something he’s meant to fix. Things might have happened slower the first few times, but everyone had ended up safe in the end. The girl in the park recovers, the reckless driver is fine, and despite hours of intense fighting, they manage to get the oil spill under control. What puzzle piece is he not seeing—what problem is he meant to fix? Why must he return to the start the moment he closes his eyes to rest?
As he runs through the events of the day ahead, he tries to concentrate on anything that stands out to him, anything that could be unusual and linked to why he’s living this cursed day over and over.
After a moment, for some reason, the face of the firefighter who had crashed on the bike while trying to avoid falling debris floats before his eyes. Although he could have sworn he’s never met the other before, something about him seems familiar.
At this point, he has nothing else to go off of, nothing else that stands out from the multiple times he’s lived the day.
Decision made, he focuses on swiftly solving the morning problems. Xiao Ming is stabilized in record time, and they’re speeding towards the oil depot without any further delay.
Huo Yan watches the clock as they fly through the intersection, a screech of tires faintly heard behind them as a car narrowly avoids clipping their back bumper.
“That was close,” Li Yan Liang scoffs as he checks their side mirrors.
With smooth efficiency and practice, Huo Yan guides his team through the initial tank explosion and containment work. There’s only one place he knows where to find the firefighter he is after, and there’s nothing else he can do until then.
Huo Yan hands off the other end of the folded hose to Luo Jie the moment he hears the bike in the distance. Feigning nonchalance, he steps back into the middle of the road, lifting the hose between them as if they are getting ready to roll it out and making it impossible to get past.
A curse and a squeal of tires sound as the bike skids to a stop, mere feet away from him.
Huo Yan’s eyes slowly shift down to the badge on the man’s chest. Special Brigade Squadron One, he repeats in his head. Special Brigade Squadron One, where have I seen that before?
“What are you doing?” a voice demands. “Get out of the way!”
They’re both interrupted as the light post falls with a crash behind Huo Yan, who’s pulled forward with a sudden movement as Luo Jie yanks on the hose to bring him clear of any further debris.
The other firefighter’s eyes widen as he seems to realize how close he was to being hit, the light plummeting to exactly where he would be if he hadn’t been stopped.
Before Huo Yan has a chance to interact any further with him, the other is maneuvering his loaded motorbike around both Huo Yan and the light and speeding off along the road.
It’s fine; now that he knows what squadron the other is with he can look for him later. It’s not like they’re going anywhere any time soon.
Huo Yan doesn’t bother with foam this time—he knows the supply won’t last so they might as well leave it to the teams that need it. Instead, his team works on pushing back the oil and trying to cool the outside of the oil tank that’s still leaking. It helps to know that, despite how crazy the fire seems now, it is possible to extinguish it. The morning will come.
Huo Yan and Luo Jie are rolling out yet another hose to replace a broken one when the announcement comes over the radio.
“Command, Special Brigade Squadron One—” Something about the voice sends a chill down Huo Yan’s back. “Firefighter Zheng Zhi has been killed.”
He suddenly realizes where he’s heard that squadron name before. He has heard this same announcement a few times already, but hadn’t remembered the exact name and station of the firefighter who had died… There isn’t time to properly pay respects, but everyone pauses in their actions for a few long seconds, lowering their heads for a moment.
Huo Yan frowns, thinking back to the young but determined man on the bike that he had helped. He had seemed young, and tasked with less dangerous tasks than the rest of his squadron, but there’s a part of Huo Yan that just knows that this is the person that’s important to him.
But on the off chance it’s not, in case he closes his eyes tomorrow morning after the fire is out and doesn’t wake up at the start of the loop again, he can’t risk slacking off.
Please be okay, he repeats in his mind numerous times as he returns to focusing all his effort on corralling the fire. Please don’t be Zheng Zhi, please don’t be dead.
It’s only hours later, when the oil spill is once again extinguished and as Huo Yan sits with his team slumped around him in exhaustion, that he realizes exactly which team is sitting across from his own. As he scans the group of Special Brigade Squadron One firefighters, he clenches his hands briefly into fists as he confirms that the man on the bike he helped is missing from their number.
But he needs to know for certain. Especially if this is related to the reason he’s stuck in this loop. With a sense of dread, Huo Yan hauls himself upright and, with legs dragging from exhaustion, walks over to the firefighter that had just placed an incongruous chicken drumstick on the ground in front of a shattered helmet.
“Your squadmate,” Huo Yan gestures at the helmet. “Is that…”
“His name is—” There’s a short pause as the other firefighter hesitates and corrects himself. “Was Zheng Zhi.”
Firefighter Zheng Zhi has been killed.
“He was a good man,” Ma Weiguo says hoarsely, “the bravest.”
Huo Yan exhales shakily, clasping the other man on the shoulder in support before heading back over to his own team and leaving the captain to grieve.
It’s a weird feeling, mourning a man he doesn’t even really know. A short moment shared in the midst of a raging oil fire, but Huo Yan feels a connection to the other firefighter. After his father died when he was a child, his own mother worried every single time Huo Yan went out on shift, having seen all too well how quickly and unexpectedly it can all go wrong.
But he’s certain now. There’s something telling him this Zheng Zhi is the key. If he can take care of Zheng Zhi, surely this loop will be over.
Huo Yan doesn’t bother with the food that’s being passed around, or even trying to get all that comfortable on the ground. Either this will be the worst nap ever and he’ll deal with it in an hour, or in moments none of this will remain real. He settles flat onto the ground, resting his head on a brick and ignoring the water seeping through his uniform.
Zheng Zhi, Huo Yan thinks as he closed his eyes, I’m coming.
──── ∞ ────
“Do you need anything, Huo Yan?”
Huo Yan breathes out slowly, waving Luo Jie away without even opening his eyes. He hadn’t realized the first few times, too busy trying to comprehend where he was and what was happening. But having now lived this day enough times to compare, there’s a horrible truth he’s realising.
He’s weaker every time.
What he originally wrote off as just exhaustion from fighting the oil spill, he now realizes has been growing with every loop. Unable to properly rest, and possibly also affected by whatever strange forces are sending him back to the start of the day again and again, seems to be draining his energy bit by bit.
Even if the day can reset an infinite amount of times, there’s a very finite amount that Huo Yan will be able to make it through.
Knowing the events that will happen, he steps back a little more this time, letting Luo Jie take the lead so he can save energy. Huo Yan seems to lose his breath quickly, and no matter what he can’t shake the weariness from his bones. He’s been fighting the oil spill for multiple days straight, and although he seems to rest a little, he’s using his energy faster than he can recover.
He can only hope that he’s right about Zheng Zhi being the key. They have fought against the Xingang Port oil spill four times now and won every time—how can it not be possible to achieve the same while also saving the life of a fellow firefighter?
But what sounds like a simple task does not end up being quite that easy. The park, the intersection, those take no time at all and Huo Yan has full control.
At the port however, there is a chain of command to follow, and Huo Yan cannot just simply leave his post, not without a good reason. And so far the only time he has seen Zheng Zhi is when he passes by on the bike. The Dongshan squadron, tasked with flooding to oil spill fire at the periphery to try and contain it, are stationed away from the special brigade.
He also realizes a key factor that he’s forgotten to account for. To stop Zheng Zhi dying, he probably should have actually asked someone how he dies. He feels like such a fool.
He knows Zheng Zhi is still alive for a long portion of the night. The radio call of his death comes after the road to the port has been blocked by debris from multiple explosions. If Huo Yan can get to the front lines for a bit, sometime between when the first round of dry powder is dropped by helicopters and one of the latter explosions that took down more of the oil pipe overpasses, maybe he can figure out a way to save Zheng Zhi.
They arrive at the port and Huo Yan directs his team exactly as he had the previous time. Until Zheng Zhi arrives, there’s no point wasting time.
He feels eager in a way, counting down the seconds until Zheng Zhi will appear again. He goes for his previous trick again, unrolling a new hose and stretching it between him and Luo Jie, acting like he’s getting it ready to use on the fire across the road.
Right on time, there’s a screech of tires as the bike skids to a stop
There’s an unreal moment, where he looks over to lock eyes with Zheng Zhi. Immense flames light them both with a glow, and the air is heavy with mist from all the hoses. It’s the first time he’s actually considered taking all his mother’s lectures on yuanfen seriously.
The moment breaks alongside the light post, and suddenly Zheng Zhi is gone again, Huo Yan left standing alone.
“Huo Yan!”
It takes a moment to register that Luo Jie is calling to him, Huo Yan too busy staring down the road to where Zheng Zhi disappeared.
At another call Huo Yan turns back, helping lay the hose out so that Li Yan Liang can start using it.
When the first helicopter to drop dry powder arrives, Huo Yan knows it’s time to get moving.
“Luo Jie,” he calls, “I need to go check in with someone at the command tent. Look after the crew.”
Luo Jie waves him off, and Huo Yan turns to head towards where the command tent is located. There’s no one there he needs to talk to, but it’s the same direction Zheng Zhi had headed before, and if he wants information on the special brigade, it’s his best chance.
As he reaches the corner of the road and heads to the other side of the tank, he finally spots Special Brigade Squadron One. Fighting between the leaking oil tank and the chemical tanks, they are currently shoveling wet concrete onto the fire in an attempt to block it.
It’s only as he moves closer that he realizes Zheng Zhi is not with them. He stops, a little uncertain about what to do next. There’s dozens of firefighters everywhere—if Zheng Zhi isn’t with his squadron, where could he possibly be?
Huo Yan grabs another firefighter who is running past him.
“I’m looking for Zheng Zhi,” he says, “from Special Brigade Squadron One. Have you seen him?”
“I—not recently. He might be getting more foam supplies?”
Huo Yan doesn’t have a chance to ask for more information before there’s a sudden hush in the air. Everything becomes muffled for a second, and then the fire returns at once with a vengeance. Huo Yan and the other firefighter are knocked back a little, Huo Yan stumbling over some debris and slightly twisting his ankle with a hiss.
“What was that?” Huo Yan wheezes. He’d heard the explosion in the past, but with his team stationed a little further away he hadn’t known how brutal it was until now.
“The valves between the oil tanks are still open—a generator truck was being used to power them closed, but it got crushed. A squadron from Dongshan has gone in to try to manually close them. Something must have gone wrong.”
A squadron from Dongshan? He wonders which team it is.
The other firefighter tries to leave, but Huo Yan grips their jacket tighter. “What about Special Brigade Squadron One?”
“They’re keeping the flames from reaching the chemical tanks. I have to report to command—” They break free of Huo Yan’s grasp and run off, but Huo Yan has the information he needs now.
He didn’t see Zheng Zhi pass by his truck again, so he must have gone in the other direction for foam. Huo Yan skirts around the debris lying scattered across the road and starts searching, hobbling a little as his ankle gives him trouble. It doesn’t take long to find what would have been a pallet of foam canisters, but has obviously been cleared out by other teams already.
The last one is currently being mixed into a water tank, the firefighter shaking it a little to get the dregs out. Huo Yan heads over at once, catching her attention once he’s close enough.
“Zheng Zhi, part of Special Brigade Squadron One,” he gestures roughly at the level Zheng Zhi’s height would be. “Have you seen him?”
“You’ve just missed him.” She closes up the tank and bangs twice on the wall of the truck to signal to her fellow firefighter on top that everything is ready to go.
Huo Yan thanks her, and spins around at once to head back. However he’s barely taken more than a few steps when the call comes through the radio.
“Command, Special Brigade Squadron One—”
Huo Yan holds back a curse, kicking viciously at a pile of rocks and hissing when that just makes the pain in his ankle worse. Fists clenched tight, he tilts his head back to look up at the sky, the foamy water spray collecting on his face and making his eyes sting.
“Firefighter Zheng Zhi has died.”
He doesn’t remember the trek back to join his team. Disappointment and sorrow rage inside of him, until all that’s left is a numbness. Even knowing he will likely have a chance to try again, he can’t risk his team mates just in case the loop doesn’t happen.
Luo Jie has done a good job of holding strong against the fire, and as Huo Yan rejoins them they start to slowly push back the oil to contain it.
Huo Yan is impatient this time, and as soon as everyone starts cheering, he heads to where he knows Special Brigade Squadron One will rest after the fire. As soon as he sees them sitting down, he approaches the captain who carries Zheng Zhi’s helmet.
The man looks up as Huo Yan crosses over to him.
Huo Yan gestures at the cracked helmet. “Zheng Zhi… what happened to him?”
A brief look of surprise crosses the other man’s face. “You knew him?”
“Only… in passing, a few times.”
“He saved us. He—” The words cut off as the other firefighter starts to shake with quiet sobs, grief catching up with him all at once.
Huo Yan moves to sit beside him, silently offering support as he lets the other get a handle on his emotions.
Finally, he turns slightly towards Huo Yan and begins to speak again.
“Zheng Zhi was getting more foam while we were fighting the fire, but our hoses broke and left us cut off. Right when I thought it might be over for us, Zheng Zhi returned.” He scoffs for a moment, smiling with a tragic twist. “He had to turn back to get a hose and there was a moment there we thought he had run and yelled at him. But then he came back.”
He turns to look at the helmet with the broken visor, and Huo Yan follows his gaze.
“The fool wasn’t prepared for the strength of the hose, and when he cranked open the valve it struck him in the face” Ma Weiguo pauses for a long time, jaw clenched as he takes a shaky breath. “But he got back up, face bleeding, and cleared a path for us to escape. Only, before he could get out as well, debris from one of the oil pipelines collapsed on us, and he was pinned.”
“We couldn’t reach him.”
Huo Yan looks up to see another member of the Special Brigade Squadron speaking.
“The fire was too strong and we didn’t have any way to get to him.”
Huo Yan can only grieve with them. He might not know Zheng Zhi as well as the rest of them, but there’s something about that determined face when they crossed paths earlier that’s stuck in his brain.
Yuanfen, his mother’s voice says in his head.
I’m going to make sure it doesn’t happen, I’ll make sure he survives, he wants to tell them.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” is all he actually says.
It’s not like any of them would believe him if he did tell the truth. Huo Yan barely believes it himself.
Huo Yan moves back to his squad, ignoring their questioning looks, and finds a place to lie down.
He knows where, and he knows how. Next loop, he will reach Zheng Zhi in time.
Huo Yan closes his eyes.
──── ∞ ────
“Do you need anything, Huo Yan?”
Huo Yan attempts to breathe in slowly, but the phantom ash and oil sticks in his throat and he ends up coughing.
“Huo Yan!”
Luo Jie grabs his shoulder to support him as Huo Yan struggles to remember how to breathe. He tries to stand up, but with a pang his ankle threatens to give out on him.
Luo Jie hauls him back upright. “Are you alright?”
Huo Yan waves him off. Not like he’s going to get any better standing around. “I’m fine; let’s get going.”
“Just take it easy,” Luo Jie tugs his arm over his shoulder, helping Huo Yan stagger to their truck.
“What did you do?” Li Yan Liang laughs. “Trip over air?”
Huo Yan rolls his eyes, still trying to control his breathing.
This time as they get the call about the girl in the park, Luo Jie shoots him a concerned look. “Maybe you should wait in the truck, rest for a moment.”
“I’m fine.”
“And you can continue to be fine in the truck.” Luo Jie stops at the park entrance and the others start to pile out. “We can handle this, just take a moment to catch your breath.”
“Wait,” Huo Yan grabs Luo Jie’s arm as he goes to leave. “Bring something sweet with you. It’s hypoglycemia.”
Luo Jie twists to the back of the truck to pull a snack out of Ma Qian Li’s bag. “A blood sugar crash? Do you know the patient?"
Huo Yan laughs drily. “You could say that.”
The rest of his team dealing with it, Huo Yan finally takes a moment for himself, the first in what feels like days. His ankle isn’t as bad as during the loop he twisted it, but the pain is… lingering. He’ll have to be careful about being injured again—not that he plans to be stuck in this loop for much longer. The weariness and ongoing headache from repeated loops has almost become background noise in his head, but an injury like his ankle is harder to deal with.
He will just have to find Zheng Zhi quicker this time.
Arriving at the port is like living through a dream, familiar and unreal at the same time. He pushes through with his aching ankle until it becomes background noise as well. The first time he goes to pick up the hose with Luo Jie, his hands are shaking so much he drops it. Reasonably he knows Zheng Zhi will appear and will be fine, but until he can see him with his own eyes, he won’t feel assured.
And then just as Huo Yan steps back, Zheng Zhi appears, face scrunching in annoyance at Huo Yan blocking his path.
Such an immense wave of relief rushes through Huo Yan that he almost wants to laugh.
Even as the light post falls and Zheng Zhi disappears, Huo Yan finally feels like he can breathe again.
He makes sure his team is okay before using the same excuse as last time about needing to go to the command center. He’s leaving earlier this time, but his ankle slows him down a little as he carefully picks his way over hoses and around piles of debris.
Passing the Special Brigade Squadron One crew, he confirms both that Zheng Zhi isn’t with them and also that he’s arrived earlier than last time. If his luck holds, he might reach Zheng Zhi right as he gets to the foam supply.
Sure enough, right as he reaches the supply pallet, he sees what can only be Zheng Zhi trying to juggle four canisters of foam by himself.
Huo Yan lets out a slightly breathless laugh. This might just work. If he can help Zheng Zhi with saving the Special Brigade Squadron from being cut off in the flames…
Zheng Zhi sees Huo Yan reaching for the foam as well, and tries to shift a little to the side. “I need these.”
“That’s fine,” Huo Yan catches one of them as it starts to fall. “Let me help you.”
Zheng Zhi lets out a sigh of relief, using Huo Yan’s support to shuffle the canisters into a more comfortable hold.
“What squadron are you?” Huo Yan asks like he doesn’t already know, picking up the last two foam canisters to bring with them.
“Special Brigade,” Zheng Zhi turns, and they start the slow trek back. “You?”
“Dongshan,” Huo Yan keeps his responses short, voice tight with pain as he puts weight on his sore ankle.
“Dongshan? You work with Jiang Liwei?”
“Same brigade, different squadron. You know him?”
“He used to be our captain,” Zheng Zhi tells him. “But uh… there was an incident, and he was moved to Dongshan.”
Before Huo Yan can inquire further, everything gets quiet all of a sudden. The fire retreats, the air is still, and the ground begins to rumble beneath their feet.
Shit, Huo Yan thinks.
“Fall back! Fall back!!” Cries from various firefighters ring down the road desperately, everyone finding cover.
Huo Yan and Zheng Zhi drop the foam and run, but before they have the chance to get very far, a huge wave of pressure knocks both of them off their feet and sends them crashing into some of the concrete barricades that had been built to block the fire along the road.
Huo Yan is winded and disorientated, but he hears a groaning noise above them and manages to turn his head only to see one of the firetrucks slowly collapsing towards them. Zheng Zhi is still next to him, but Huo Yan manages to gain the strength to roll on top of him, closer to the concrete barricade and shielding him from being hit by the truck.
He keeps his body over Zheng Zhi, protecting the other man from the bits of glass and other debris that land around them and closing his eyes as the truck slams into the ground.
They have a small amount of space, maybe enough to sit up, but the flickers of light provided by the flames through cracks in the concrete show they are well and truly trapped.
Huo Yan drags his phone out of his pocket. Cracked, dead, useless.
Does anyone know that they are here? Probably not. The explosion happened so quickly, and everyone else would have been knocked back from the blast as well.
Huo Yan quickly accesses himself. His right arm aches fiercely, and any attempt to put weight on it turns the pain agonizing. Likely a fracture. Great. He turns to check and finds Zheng Zhi’s helmet is shattered along the front; he must have hit the concrete face first. He also still hasn’t moved since they hit the ground.
“Hey,” Huo Yan reaches out roughly to pat at Zheng Zhi’s cheek with his left hand. “Are you okay? Are you conscious?”
He gets a groan in response.
Huo Yan carefully settles himself to the side, slumped against the concrete. He pats at Zheng Zhi again. “Hey, you have to wake up.”
“What happened?” Zheng Zhi’s voice is hoarse and weak, and he blinks slowly as he tries to lift his head and make sense of where they are.
“Part of the tank exploded,” Huo Yan explains. “I’m not sure what exactly, but it sent a wave of force through all the under road shafts. The explosion also flipped a firetruck—that’s what we’re stuck under at the moment.”
Zheng Zhi shoots him a look of disbelief, struggling for a moment to pull himself up and look around for himself.
Huo Yan has assessed the area already. There’s no way he could get out without help, not with an injured arm and twisted ankle. And Zheng Zhi isn’t looking too great either.
“Does anyone know we’re here?” Zheng Zhi asks.
“No, I don’t think so.” Huo Yan tries to look through the gaps in the concrete barricade to see if he can spot anyone who might be able to help them, but the truck is between them and the road where the other firefighters are, and the roar of the fire past the concrete would cover any noise they try to make.
Zheng Zhi is trying to act brave, but Huo Yan can see the fear building in his eyes.
“Hey,” Huo Yan puts in an effort to distract him. “What’s your name?”
“Zheng Zhi.” He raises a hand to his face and hisses as he touches cuts caused by the broken glass of his helmet. “You?”
“Huo Yan.”
There’s another moment of silence, and Huo Yan sees Zheng Zhi start to tremble a little bit.
“Someone will help us; someone will come,” he reassures Zheng Zhi. “Soon this will be over, and I’ll treat you to a meal of fried chicken.”
“How did you know I liked fried chicken?”
“Good guess.”
Zheng Zhi starts to move a little, likely to try and gauge for himself whether there’s a way out, but he barely moves an inch before crumbling in pain. “Fuck.” He relaxes back against the concrete the best he can, voice shaking with a barely present tremor. “What if they don’t come?”
“It’s going to be okay,” Huo Yan wraps his left arm over Zheng Zhi’s shoulders. “We’re going to be okay.”
“I wish I was more like you,” Zheng Zhi whispers. “I wish I wasn’t scared. If I was braver maybe my captain would be less strict.”
“Everyone’s scared of different things. Besides, I think you’re a lot braver than you know.”
“What are you scared of?”
Normally Huo Yan wouldn’t tell; it was shameful enough already.
“Needles,” Huo Yan shudders. “I hate them.”
“Needles?” Zheng Zhi laughs softly. “An exploding oil tank is fine, but needles are where you draw the line?”
Huo Yan scoffs and fakes a shudder, stopping with a wince as it jostles his injured arm.
“Huo Yan?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m cold. And my back hurts.”
Huo Yan freezes a little. “Let me check. Which side?”
“Right.”
Huo Yan retrieves his arm and slowly shuffles onto his side. He carefully pulls the loose fabric of Zheng Zhi’s uniform jacket to the front, using the glow from the fire on the other side of the concrete to see what’s wrong.
Its—rebar, or some other kind of metal. Huo Yan had thought it was just the water and foam dampening the ground but there’s blood pooling too.
A lot of it.
The adrenaline and likely the shock have kept Zheng Zhi from feeling much of the pain, but as the blood loss continued he’s realized something is very wrong.
“Is it bad?” Zheng Zhi asks. “You’re being very quiet, so I feel like it’s bad.”
“Just… keep talking with me.” Huo Yan tells him. He has nothing to pack the wound with to slow down the bleeding, but he has the creeping suspicion it won’t make much of a difference anyway.
“Talking about what?”
“Anything.” Huo Yan shifts back to sitting next to Zheng Zhi, supporting his body to keep it as still as possible. “Tell me what you like to do outside of work.”
Huo Yan keeps him talking; every time Zheng Zhi’s voice starts to fade or his eyes start to shut, he starts a new topic and keeps the conversation going. He doesn’t have a lot of hope that they’ll be found, but he wants Zheng Zhi to be as relaxed as possible.
“My father was a firefighter; he died during a fire in a chemical plant.” Huo Yan pauses, and a sad smile twists at his lips. “I saw how it affected my mother. I didn’t want to leave anyone behind who would grieve me like that.”
“I didn’t want to be a firefighter,” Zheng Zhi admits, “but my mother made me join the military.”
“What did you want to do?”
“I don’t know.” Zheng Zhi tilts his head slowly to the side until his helmet clinks against Huo Yan’s. “I never really got the chance to find out. I guess… I never will.”
It’s quiet for a moment.
It’s going to be okay, Huo Yan wants to say, I’ll do better next time, and we’ll both be fine.
But the fact is he doesn’t know. This isn’t how events normally play out, and maybe there won’t be a next time. Saving Zheng Zhi is his goal, but what if he’s changed enough of what happens that this is it? No more loops.
Instead of saving Zheng Zhi he’s made things worse.
Slowly it begins to get harder and harder to breathe. The oil is seeping closer to their concrete barricade, and there are no firefighters working to push it back with the firetruck blocking the view. Zheng Zhi is listless against him. Huo Yan reaches over to grab his hand, but there’s no response to his squeezing.
The smoke and oxygen starved air mixes with his grief and sits heavy in his lungs as Huo Yan lays on the ground gasping for breath. Even as he hopes for the loop to reset once again, to give him another chance, he curses the fact that he’s the only one in the loop who will remember.
He grips Zheng Zhi’s hand tighter, and closes his eyes.
──── ∞ ────
“Do you need anything, Huo Yan?”
Huo Yan’s eyes struggle open, feeling gritty and stuck together even though the ash and blood is gone.
I can’t keep doing this, he thinks despairingly.
“Huo Yan!”
Hands grab at him, one grasping his shoulder and the other his face. It’s not until Luo Jie is shoving him to sit down and pushing his head back that he realizes blood has been dripping from his nose in a steady stream.
He raises his right arm to pinch his nose, before stopping with a wince and switching to his left. His arm may no longer be physically broken, but it sure feels like it is. Fuck, his ankle still hurts too.
Maybe he should just knock Zheng Zhi off the bike and kidnap him. Fallen debris blocks the road into the port soon after—no one would be able to stop him. At this point he’s willing to consider anything to get this looping to end.
“What’s wrong with you, Huo Yan?” Luo Jie questions, eyes rightfully full of worry. “A minute ago you were fine, now you look like hell.”
“Maybe the cat cursed me. It didn’t like us removing it from its new five star home, the highest weight bearing branch in the park.” Huo Yan laughs a little, voice nasally from his blocked nose.
If he just keeps going, he doesn’t have to worry about dealing with everything he just went through.
“Seriously.” Luo Jie examines him. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” Huo Yan wipes the blood off of his face, nosebleed thankfully stopped. “Let’s just get this day over with.”
He slowly climbs into the passenger seat of the truck, careful of his ankle and his arm. He has to be honest with himself—this is probably the last chance he’ll get to save Zheng Zhi. Even if the loops keep going, even if he doesn’t get more injured than he already is, he’s barely hanging on this loop. Next time he might be so tired he doesn’t even wake up.
“Put your damn seatbelt on, Ma Qian Li,” Huo Yan orders tiredly.
He’s left in the truck once again as the rest of them go to help Xiao Ming. He takes the time to carefully think through the entire timeline of events. Is there something that he can do earlier, to prevent things from getting worse? Until he runs into Zheng Zhi on the bike, he has no idea where the other man is.
The key event seems to be the massive explosion, but what was it that man had said? Another squadron from Dongshan Station had gone in to manually close the valves after a generator truck had gotten crushed. If he can stop the truck from getting damaged, allow the valves to close quicker, could it stop the explosion and the resulting oil spill fire that gets Zheng Zhi killed?
At this rate he’s got nothing less to lose.
As they arrive at the port, Huo Yan directs Luo Jie down the access road until he spots the generator truck idling—directly under one of the pipe overpasses. A prime location to get squashed by falling debris.
“Wait a second,” he tells Luo Jie, getting out of the truck and confronting the driver of the generator truck who’s setting up some cables at the back.
“You need to move!” Huo Yan aggressively waves him forward. “I need this area for—hose access. You need to move your truck forward.”
The man gives him a startled and dumbfounded look, but Huo Yan just makes his gaze more intense and gestures again. With one last confused look, the driver gets back into the truck and pulls it forward, Huo Yan gesturing again and again to keep him moving until he’s decided that it’s out of range from being damaged by potential debris.
“What was that about?” Luo Jie asks him as he returns.
“Long story, I’ll explain later.” Huo Yan has no intention of explaining later.
It’s harder to get the work done this time, phantom pains shooting along his right arm. When the oil tank roof explodes for the first time, Huo Yan pretends he’s knocked his arm on something so that his crew isn’t surprised about it giving him pain.
It’s not even intentional this time, the way Huo Yan staggers into the road and blocks the path with the hose. There’s a solid second or two where he wonders if he really will fall, before finally regaining his footing.
As he lifts his head to make eye contact with Zheng Zhi, the other isn’t even annoyed this time. Instead he looks at Huo Yan with worry. He really must look a mess.
They both flinch a moment later as the light post falls, and after another couple of seconds Huo Yan forces himself to step back towards Luo Jie with an apologetic wave at Zheng Zhi for blocking the path.
Zheng Zhi barely hesitates, seeming to judge that Huo Yan is in safe hands even if there is something wrong with him, and revs the bike again to speed off.
It’s not too much later that the second explosion happens. Huo Yan is tense as he waits, keeping the generator truck in the distance in his sights.
With a sudden boom, some of the pipes explode. The entire metal overpass for the oil pipes collapses at once onto the road in the ball of flames, exactly where the generator truck had been before Huo Yan insisted on it moving.
The impact rattles the ground, and the generator truck sways a little on its wheels, but continues humming with power.
Wow, Huo Yan thinks, that’s kind of stupid. Is that really all it takes?
The large metal pipes clang as they bounce along the ground, the oil that remained in them splattering and immediately catching alight. Huo Yan moves with others to swiftly and smoothly put it out, keeping the fire from spreading anywhere. Just as the last flame is extinguished and he’s about to head back to the main fire, his radio crackles and for a second his heart pounds in fear that he’s somehow made it worse again.
“All four valves to oil depot one are now closed. Move to full scale containment of the existing fire.”
Huo Yan stops. He laughs. He surely looks like a maniac, but he can’t stop it. People died and for what? A truck driver with no risk evaluation skills.
Now that the spread has been stopped, it will be much easier to contain the fires that remain, even in the main depot tank. Huo Yan pulls down his visor as the first wave of helicopters arrive, dry powder smothering the flames bit by bit. As they depart, firefighters move forward with the foam and water mix, cooling and quelling the oil in equal measure.
There are a few times he wonders if he should go and find Zheng Zhi, but with the valves all closed the other Dongshan squadron members don’t have to go in manually to shut them, and so the Special Brigade Squadron won’t have to guard the chemical tanks. And even if he goes, who knows if he;ll be able to find Zheng Zhi.
Thankfully, with the valves shut off, there are no further explosions. Huo Yan feels like he’s constantly on edge, waiting for something bad to happen. Surely it can’t be that easy. Finally, when he feels like the fire is under control in their zone, he can’t resist going to check any longer.
“Luo Jie,” he calls, “I need to go check in at the command tent.”
He’s not going to be able to help with much on the front lines, not with his injuries, but at the very least he’ll be able to see with his own eyes if Zheng Zhi and his squadron are okay.
Walking to the command tent, he keeps an eye out for the Special Brigade Squadron, finally finding them pushing back the largest spill of oil towards the tank. The older members of the squad are right amongst the flames at the front, while Zheng Zhi and a couple others stay at the back, guarding the escape path.
He’s alive. He’s fine, Huo Yan thinks with relief.
Ah, fuck, he thinks next.
The remains of some scaffolding, a precariously leaning pile, is definitely about to fall on Zheng Zhi if Huo Yan’s luck has anything to say about it.
With an adrenaline surge that numbs all the pain in his leg and arm, Huo Yan leaps into action.
“Zheng Zhi!” He can find an excuse for knowing his name later. “Watch out—that scaffolding next to you!”
The other two squad members should be clear, but Zheng Zhi is definitely within the impact zone. Something he seems to realize, too late, as he turns to look first at Huo Yan, and then at the pile of twisted metal to his right. Huo Yan’s arm is too weak to pull Zheng Zhi free in time, and the only thing he can think to do is throw himself in the way in an attempt to shield him.
He thought he was used to injuries from the previous loops, but nothing has prepared him for the blunt force that slams into his back.
Dazed and out of breath for a long few seconds, Huo Yan turns his head to the left to see Zheng Zhi collapsed on the ground next to him, pinned under the weight of the fallen beams. Zheng Zhi’s visor had taken the brunt of the impact as he fell, his bloody face showing through the cracked glass.
For a moment it feels like the world has stopped—the shouts of the other firefighters fading and the fire and ash around them a distant memory.
Zheng Zhi’s lips slowly curve into a smile. Even though Huo Yan can’t hear anything through the ringing in his ears, he can clearly make out the shape of Zheng Zhi’s lips moving.
You owe me a meal.
Huo Yan opens his mouth in disbelief. Maybe the chemical tank is leaking and he’s hallucinating.
Before he can form any sort of response, there comes a groan of metal as the scaffolding around them shifts again. Disorientated and blurry eyed, Huo Yan reaches out desperately, intending to grab onto Zheng Zhi and pull him free, but for some reason he struggles to be able to move.
It’s only as his vision clears for a moment that he realizes he is also pinned under the debris and unable to reach Zheng Zhi, before there’s another groan of shifting metal collapsing and everything goes black.
──── → ────
The world is foggy and distant, Huo Yan’s brain scrambling to comprehend where he is. His ankle hurts, his arm hurts, his head hurts—everything hurts really. He’s aware of someone nearby moving closer and grabbing his arm, an exhale of relief. Slowly his head stops spinning so much, and he fights against the nausea and pain to open his eyes.
“Do you need anything, Huo Yan?”
The horror grips his body, causing his lungs to seize, coughing uncontrollably as he fights for breath. The world doesn’t make any sense for a moment as his eyes dart wildly around.
I can’t do it again, he thinks despairingly, don’t make me do it again. Everything hurts and I am so very tired.
But then, the world comes into focus. Clean white sheets, spotless white walls, steady beeping from the machines around him. A hospital, not the convenience store parking lot where they complain about rescuing the demon cat from the tree.
Luo Jie, standing beside him, moves closer with eyes filled with a mix of relief and concern, a cup of water with a straw in his grasp that he holds against Huo Yan’s lips so he can slowly drink.
His throat is too dry for him to speak yet, or be able to ask questions. He wants to believe it’s over and he’s free, but there’s a horrible thought inside him that he’s still stuck in the loop. Maybe this time he collapsed in the parking lot before they ever made it to the oil spill.
“They finally got the oil fire under control a few hours ago—I sent the others away to rest and recover otherwise they’d be camped out here too.”
Huo Yan blinks a couple times as he processes what Luo Jie said. “The oil fire?”
Luo Jie frowns at him. “At Xingang port. Do you not remember what happened?”
Huo Yan can only stare in disbelief, mouth parted slightly in shock. Was it truly done then? Was it over?
“I’ll have the doctor come back and assess you,” Luo Jie continues after the silence stretches on. “They thought it was just the smoke inhalation, but maybe some of the chemical fumes are affecting you.”
Huo Yan looks around the room once more. There’s a heart rate monitor beeping quietly to the side, and an IV attached to him. That means there’s a needle in his arm. Great. That’s totally fine. He feels very normal about that, and his heart rate is rising for different and totally unrelated reasons.
There’s a very easy way to distract himself, but he’s scared of the answer.
He looks at Luo Jie and forces himself to ask, “Where is Zheng Zhi?”
──── → ────
It’s only as Huo Yan stands outside the door to Zheng Zhi’s hospital room that he realizes Zheng Zhi doesn’t know who he is, not really. The Zheng Zhi he spent time talking to while trapped under debris, this isn’t him. Huo Yan has lived through this what feels like an endless amount of times, trying to save Zheng Zhi against all odds.
But Zheng Zhi has only lived this once. And hasn’t had a single conversation with him.
Huo Yan pushes the door slightly open, peeking in to see Zheng Zhi lying in bed surrounded by a few of his squad mates. He seems pleased, the other firefighters singing his praises. He had managed to push some of the scaffolding off of himself and Huo Yan, and start dragging them to safety before the rest of the squad swooped in to help.
Imagine that, after all the effort Huo Yan put into trying to save him, it’s Zheng Zhi who’s saved him too.
Even the broken leg doesn’t seem to have dampened his spirits—Huo Yan gives it a week before he’s bouncing off the walls.
Most importantly, he’s alive. He’s safe.
And Huo Yan is free. No one will know of the untold effort it took; the numerous loops of time.
No one will remember the long endless minutes trapped beneath a firetrack, where he made a promise to a man who wanted another chance at life.
──── → ────
Even three months later, there are times Huo Yan still feels weary from the oil spill ordeal. He had a few weeks off on medical leave, but despite blacking out he has a hard head, and there was nothing too badly damaged. He’d rather be back at work, anyway; not working gives him too much time alone with his own thoughts.
Everyone talks about how bad the port fire was, but they don’t even realize how bad it could have been.
He ducks into a fried chicken store, a new habit of his every few weeks when he starts to feel a little too sorrowful over the things he has lost. He sits down with his order at a table and starts to dig in.
The chicken is fine. It’s no pork rib soup, but at least it’s filling.
“Hey.”
Huo Yan freezes, looking up slowly. Zheng Zhi stands awkwardly by the table, although it takes Huo Yan a second to recognize him when he’s not covered in ash and water.
“Do you mind if I sit?”
“Sure,” Huo Yan gestures towards a spare seat with a very normal tone of voice. “You’re Zheng Zhi, right? I heard you helped pull me free from some scaffolding.”
“Yeah.” Zheng Zhi says. “They said—your name is Huo Yan? You tried to warn me.”
The awkward silence grows.
Huo Yan nudges his box of chicken towards Zheng Zhi, encouraging him to take a piece.
“Thanks.”
Zheng Zhi looks extremely uncomfortable and not entirely sure what he’s trying to achieve with this interaction, which is just about how Huo Yan feels too.
Crushed under a firetruck and bleeding out was less painful than this.
The silence continues. Until, suddenly—
“I dream about dying. A lot.”
Huo Yan fights to keep his face steady. I have nightmares about you dying, too. “PTSD is normal in situations like this, you—”
“It’s not—” Zheng Zhi stops abruptly, face scrunching as he tries to find the words. “It’s not nightmares, it’s like… memories.”
Huo Yan stares at him. There’s no way.
Zheng Zhi reads his expression differently. “I know how it sounds. But I just… I remember dying. Multiple times. And then I remember you.”
Huo Yan clenches his jaw slightly, doing his best to withhold all his emotions. He’s just about gotten used to having no one to talk to about this. Luo Jie’s voice floats through his again, reminding him grinding teeth is due to mental stress, and he forces his jaw to relax.
“Do you…” Zheng Zhi trails off for a long moment, before continuing in a rush. “Are you scared of needles?”
Huo Yan gapes at him. “Are you serious? Is that really what you remember the most?”
“So it did happen!”
“I saved you from being crushed by a firetruck, and all you remember is my fear of needles?”
“I thought I was going insane.” Zheng Zhi slumps back with a laugh. “I had all these weird memories in my head—things that didn’t fit with what everyone else said happened!”
“You shouldn’t remember any of that.” Huo Yan studies his face intently. “How do you remember any of that?”
“I didn’t at first. But bits and pieces kept coming back every time I slept.” Zheng Zhi seems a lot more relaxed now that he knows he’s not the only one involved in whatever supernatural nonsense the timeloop was. “What was it for? What happened?”
“It was—” Endless. Painful. Frightening. “—a lot. I’ll tell you more about it over a meal.”
Zheng Zhi looks at the chicken.
“A proper meal,” Huo Yan corrects himself.
Zheng Zhi laughs. “Fried chicken is a proper meal! But, sure.”
Finally on the same page, the conversation starts to flow more smoothly. And it’s a lot less distressing than when they were stuck under multiple tons of steel. Funny how that works.
All too soon they’ve polished off the food, and the restaurant owner is shooting them dirty looks for continuing to take up table space. They both get up and start heading towards the door.
“Your military service is done now, right?”
“It is.”
Huo Yan pushes open the door of the restaurant and steps out, holding it open for Zheng Zhi behind him.
“What do you plan to do now?” Huo Yan asks.
“I don’t know,” Zheng Zhi laughs, “help me figure it out?”
He reaches out his hand to Huo Yan, who takes it firmly. They have all the time they need to figure it out.