Chapter Text
The forest was quiet and calm. The chill autumn air nipped at your ears and the tip of your nose as you walked down the thin dirt trail. If you had asked yourself five years ago what your ideal career was, the last thing you would have said was ‘Park Ranger’, but here you were, sporting the grey and green uniform, complete with a shiny badge and ridiculous-looking beige hat. The job itself wasn’t terrible by any means, you enjoyed the freedom that the job offered, and you made good friends with your coworkers, often tagging along to the bar with them on Fridays after your shift was over. It had been about a month since you finished your training and were finally released from the short leash your supervisor had kept the trainees on. Your morning had started rough, as you were woken by a call from your supervisor telling you that you were needed in earlier than expected, giving you minimal time to get ready and causing you to miss breakfast. You were then immediately sent out on one of the hiking trails to retrieve a trail cam whose feed had been mysteriously cut. It was annoying, but not an uncommon occurrence. Most likely the work of an animal that had gotten a bit too curious, or even a rambunctious group of teenagers who felt like causing some trouble. Either way, it was a pain, and since you were the newbie, it was left to you to trek up the winding trail to retrieve it.
At this point, you had been walking for thirty minutes, your ankles burning from navigating over the uneven dirt, rocks, and the occasional tree root, and you made a mental note to do more walking in your day-to-day life. You stopped for a moment, spotting a clean-looking tree trunk to sit on, and pulled your map from your breast pocket. Surveying the wrinkled paper, it looked as though you were only about five minutes from your destination. You folded the map back up, the worn material crinkling as you shoved it back into the pocket of your uniform. The melodic sound of birds chirping high in the trees and the golden sunlight peeking through them made up for the difficult morning. You crossed one leg over the other and breathed deeply, absorbing the delicate atmosphere of the forest. The smell of pine and sap was one you had always liked. It provided a familiar comfort, being raised in an area with vast expanses of evergreen forest. You sat in a comfortable silence, the anxiety brought on from your busy morning softening in your chest.
After a few minutes of rest you stood, brushing the dirt off of your butt and flicking away an ant that had crawled its way up your leg. As you make your way down the path once more, you pull your large metal water bottle from the side pocket of your backpack, taking a few gulps, the cold liquid doing well to coat the dry areas of your throat. It had been a birthday gift from your mom, and for a while, it had sat on your shelf collecting dust, as you had no use for it back then. Now, you were more than grateful for it. You soon reached the fifty-foot radius of where the trail cam was supposedly located and scanned your surroundings. There was no sign of it. You started searching, stepping off the trail to the right, watching the ground for any clues. When you finally found it, it was around thirty feet off the trail, lying hidden in a large patch of fern. The only reason you were able to spot it was because the large yellow ‘B5’ painted on the side of it stood out in the green and brown foliage. You picked it up, turned it over, and to your surprise, there was a deep gash on the side where the camera lens was. That was strange. Usually, there would be a few scratches and dents, maybe even a shallow bite mark, but this was different. No animal was strong enough to pierce metal like this. Illegal hunters? No, they would have been caught on one of the other cameras. The only explanation you could come up with was that this was done by a weapon, like an axe. But who would do this? And how did they avoid being seen on any of the other cameras? The only other way would be if they had gone around, completely off-trail, but the forest floor was incredibly dense with flora and rocks. It would be nonsensical to do so. These questions swirled in your mind as you placed the vandalized camera in your bag. You huffed, staring down the empty trail. It was going to be a bitch to walk back down to the ranger station.
The rest of the day was uneventful, most of your time spent in your office, reading paperwork, and answering phone calls. The weather had been chill and cloudy recently, so there weren’t many people in the park, save for the few die-hard athletic types who visited year-round. The drive home was quiet and cold; the heaters in your pickup hadn’t been working for months, and you’d been too preoccupied with work to take it into the shop. The radio didn’t work either, and it was too old of a model to come with anything fancy like Bluetooth, so you were resigned to listening to the droning hum of the engine as you drove down the dark, empty highway.
When you had initially returned to the station with the broken cam box, your colleagues were just as stumped as you were. Your manager had watched the footage multiple times over, and yet he said that there was nothing out of the ordinary in the days leading up to the assault.
Your coworkers had invited you out for drinks at a local bar that night. You were reluctant at first, already tired from all the walking, but after a bit of pestering from one of them, a particularly outgoing girl named Alena, you had caved. Alena was always the first person to start a conversation with you in the morning. She was bright, bubbly, and charismatic, all of the traits that you lacked. As soon as you started working there, she latched onto you like a hawk, showing you the ropes, introducing you to people, always trying to pull you out of your social comfort zone. It was a bit draining at times, her bright and loud demeanor a stark contrast to your introverted mindset, however, you appreciated her willingness to try to integrate you into their social circle. After all, you barely had any friends to begin with, and the few ones you did have were usually too busy with their own lives to spend much time with you. Most of your peers had their lives together, getting married, having kids, and getting their dream jobs. Yet you were here, still living in your hometown, working a not-so-well-paying job, spending most of your free time alone. It was discouraging to say the least. You felt so far behind.
As you pulled into the parking lot, you could see some of your coworkers' cars already parked in the spots next to yours. You took a second to fix your hair in the rear view mirror, smoothing out a few stray pieces, and stepped out, clutching your thick denim jacket to your body as you walked inside, trying your best to keep the forceful wind from getting underneath it. The atmosphere of the bar was aged and empty. License plates from all over the country were hung on the wooden walls as decoration, and a few vintage photographs showcased the building as it was fifty years ago, looking relatively unchanged. A large taxidermied buck head overlooked the bar, its lifeless eyes seemingly keeping watch of its patrons. Your coworkers were sitting at the bar counter, drinking beer and talking loudly amongst themselves. You could hear Alena’s booming laughter above the upbeat country music coming from the speakers. The sound of the front door opening alerted her, and she turned her head towards you with a bright smile.
“Y/N!” She waved her hand, beckoning you to sit beside her. “Come on, the party’s just getting started!”
You could tell that she was already tipsy, and as you sat down on the creaking wooden stool, it was made clearer when she put her arm around your shoulder.
“Let’s get you a beer, yeah?” She motioned towards the bartender, who was keeping himself busy wiping down glasses and pretending like he wasn’t listening in on the group's conversations.
“Just a Budweiser for me, thanks.” You gave him a polite smile and slid your ID and a twenty-dollar bill towards him. Alena leaned into you with a playfully pouty expression.
“What? Come on, open up a tab, we’re staying late tonight!” She lifted her drink, firmly patting you on the back.
“Ah, yeah, sorry, not tonight, I’ve got some errands to run in the morning.” You lied. You didn’t have anything to do, but the thought of being stuck babysitting your too-drunk coworkers all night wasn’t appealing. Plus, if you did end up drunk yourself, you had no way of getting home.
Alena frowned. “You’re lame.” She took a hearty swig from her glass.
“I know, I know.” You gave a light chuckle. The bartender set your beer in front of you with a light tap of the glass and placed your change down beside it. You took a sip, the bitter taste coating your tongue.
“Hey Y/N, what was up with that trail cam earlier today? Mason said it was totally trashed.” One of your other coworkers piped up, leaning towards the bar counter to look over at you. ‘Mason’ referred to your manager, who had given you a hearty lecture about the importance of trail cams after the destroyed one was brought back. You could tell that it wasn’t pointed at you however, probably more so frustration that he wasn’t able to catch the culprit in the act.
“Yeah, I have no idea. Someone just destroyed it and tossed it into the bushes.” You leaned your elbows on the wood of the bar, tracing your finger along the side of your glass, making patterns in the perspiration.
“Damn. Who the hell would do something like that?” He rubbed his chin.
Another person chimed in. “Probably just some rowdy fucking kids. You know the high schoolers like to go down there to smoke. Probably got bored and decided to be little assholes.”
“Not that far down there, though, that’s a good forty-minute walk up Greenhaven trail, no way they would have gone that far just to smoke some weed. I bet it was some tweaker looking for parts.” A debate started up between them as they theorized who the culprits might have been. Alena joined in when someone mentioned Bigfoot, loudly declaring her opposition, laughing and turning towards them, her attention shifting away from you. You sighed and took a few good gulps from your beer before getting up and shoving the spare change in your coat pocket and sliding your ID back in your wallet. You were suddenly overcome with the feeling that you wanted to leave, even though you had only just gotten there. You blamed it on your social anxiety, but there was a stronger twinge of insecurity permeating your mind. Alena turned back towards you, wiping her long auburn hair from where it had fallen in front of her face, her laughter dying down.
“Where are you going, mister?”
You motioned your head towards the door, shifting your weight between your legs awkwardly. “I think I’m gonna head out, it’s already 10:30, so…” You trailed off.
She gave you a disappointed look, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Really? Alright then, drive safe, handsome.” The corners of her mouth tilted up in a sort of half-smile, and she reached out to give your arm a few soft pats. You gave her a tight-lipped smile and walked back out into the cold parking lot, the sounds of happy chatter fading away.
It was eerily quiet, and you nearly tripped over one of the parking blocks trying to get to your truck. “God damn…dark-ass parking lot…” You muttered to yourself as you hopped into the driver's seat, slamming the door shut.
———————-
You awoke the next morning to the sound of your phone ringing, the invasively loud jingle pulling you out of a deep sleep. You jolted your head up and blindly felt around for it, finding it buried under your pillow, and sleepily picked up the call.
“Hello?”
A deep, grainy voice answered. “Hey Y/N, it’s Dad.”
You rubbed your eyes and blinked a few times, trying to unblur your vision. “Uh, hey dad, what’s up?” You could hear how gravely your voice was.
“Did I wake you up?” You looked at the clock sitting to your left of the bedside table. It read 12:17 pm.
“Uh..nah, no, you’re good. What’s going on?” You sat up, pushing your blanket off, shivering from the sudden temperature change.
“Well, I just wanted to get in touch with you because, well, I don’t know if your mom has reached out to you yet about what happened.” You could hear a faint droning noise in the background, which meant he was probably driving.
You groaned, stretching your arms out. “No, I haven’t heard anything. What happened?” It was unusual for your parents to call you out of the blue; it must be something bad.
He sighed. “Grandpa passed away last week.”
You felt a sour twinge in your chest, and you stood up, feeling your head begin to ache from being woken up so suddenly. “What? What happened to him?”
“Well, honey, you know he’s been having some health problems recently. He had another heart attack while he was alone at home. The paramedics came and got him to the hospital eventually, but his heart just couldn’t hold out long enough.”
You let out a deep breath, overwhelmed. “Ah shit…” You put your head in your hands, groaning. “What…how’s everyone doing?”
“Mom’s taking it pretty hard. I mean, it’s her dad. It’s…been a rough week for everyone.” He cleared his throat. “We’re having the funeral next weekend. I just wanted to make sure you knew ahead of time.” You could tell he was trying to sound empathetic, but he’d always been bad at openly bearing his emotions. You didn’t exactly blame him, you inherited that trait.
“Alright, well…thanks for letting me know, Dad.” You didn’t mention the fact that he had only decided to tell you a week after it had happened. That was a pretty typical thing for them to do, so you weren’t surprised, but it still stung.
“Alright, well, I’m headed to work now, but I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”
“Alright.”
“Bye, love you, pumpkin.”
“Love you too, Dad.” You tossed the phone on the bed and rubbed your eyes harder than they needed to be rubbed, bringing white spots to your vision. “Fuck..” You sighed and slowly meandered to the kitchen, letting your heels drag across the wood with every step. Your stomach felt weak, and your chest felt heavy. You were…sad? It was as if your grief was being held at arm's length. You shook your head, trying not to think about it too deeply. ‘Just have to make it through until next week, you’ll be fine.’ You told yourself.
———————-
The following Wednesday, you were sitting in your office, scrolling through the incident reports of the past month on your outdated desktop computer. Most of them were one-off incidents; kids wandering off the trails only to be found an hour or two later, rowdy teens getting caught drinking or smoking after dark, etc. Only one report stood out. A missing person, one you had become quite familiar with already. Destiny Forger. A 24-year-old woman, with long dark brown hair and blue eyes, five foot four, one hundred and forty pounds. Those details had been ingrained in your memory since the day it happened, almost exactly three months ago. You remember that night so clearly. She had gone solo hiking that morning, and when she hadn’t come home, her husband called the cops. It was late when your manager got the call from the Chief of Police, and you and your team had searched with the search and rescue officers tirelessly until the sun peeked its head over the mountains. But there was no trace of her. There were no clothes, no stray items, no footprints, nothing. Even the dogs couldn’t trace her scent. After a few days with no luck, the case was handed over to the FBI, and you and your colleagues were told to continue your jobs as normal, but keep a watchful eye out for anything that could be related. That was the last update anyone had heard. The case was still open, but it was obvious that the hope of finding her alive had almost completely dwindled. The missing person’s poster was still tacked onto the corkboard in the front office. Seeing her smiling face every day, forever frozen in black and white, was a painfully blunt reminder of the danger and mystery that your job held.
You were torn away from your train of thought when your manager stepped into the small room, rapping his knuckles on the wall.
“We’ve got another one.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway.
You sighed. Of course. “Really? How…I mean, how has this guy not been caught on any of the cams?”
Mason took a deep breath. “I have no idea. I looked through all the footage with Josh. On the ones that’ve been hit, it’s just…normal, no movement, and then bam! Dark. Nothing weird on any of the other ones either.”
You groaned. “Shouldn’t we get the cops involved? That’s damage to park property.”
“I wish we could, but since we don’t have whoever it is on camera, there’s technically no proof that it’s a person doing it. It sucks, but all we can do is wait for him to slip up.”
You leaned back in your chair and rubbed your temple. Whoever this guy was, he was starting to piss you off. You were not in the mood to go on a wild goose chase right now, though, when were you ever?
“Alright.” You got up, grabbing your hat and placing it on your head. “I guess I’ll get going then. Which camera?”
Mason grabbed your jacket off the rack and handed it to you. “C6. He’s going farther up the trails.” He turned to glance behind him. “Take Alena with you. She has her stun gun on her, just in case he’s still out there. I’ll keep watch here for any suspicious activity.”
You threw your jacket on and patted yourself down to make sure you had everything you needed. When you walked out to the front office, Alena was already leaning against the front desk, waiting for you.
“Ready, partner?” She smirked, her round, amber eyes glistening.
“Yup. Thrilled.” You said sarcastically.
She giggled and patted you on the back. “Let’s go then, cowboy.”
———————-
The hike up the winding trail was long and boring. The sky was grey, and large clusters of clouds blocked the sun, making the mood seem even more dismal. Alena was chatty the whole way there, talking absently about whatever came to her mind. What she had done on her days off, how she nearly hit a deer on the way to work last week, such and such. You didn’t engage much, only adding in a few ‘yeah’s’ and ‘mhm’s’ when it felt necessary. About halfway through the trek, you noted that you hadn’t seen anyone else on the trail, meaning that the mystery person had either already gone back down earlier or was still up there. Part of you was hoping it was the latter, so you could finally catch him in the act and put this whole debacle to rest. You tried not to feel nervous about potentially meeting face-to-face with a deranged stranger who had been destroying park property for completely unknown reasons. Alena had her tazer, and she was trained to handle dangerous situations; however, considering her small frame and joyful personality, you were doubtful that she was the kind of person who could intimidate. You shooed those thoughts from your mind. It would be fine. Probably. When you two finally reached the area where the cam was supposed to be, she was in the middle of telling you about a bad date she had recently been on.
“And he didn’t even look like he did in his pictures anyway, so, like, whatever, right? If you want to be a sexist dick you could at least have the decency of being nice to look at.” She walked close to your side, her shoulders nearly pressed against yours.
“Mhm, yeah.” You stopped. “Let’s get looking. Considering last time, it’s probably not gonna be sitting in plain sight.” You immediately started looking for any signs of human life, scouring the area for footprints, trash, or anything that the perpetrator might have left behind. Alena gave you a quick smile and an eager nod, walking to the opposite side of the trail.
You took to your side of the trail, taking care to look as thoroughly as possible for anything that seemed out of place. Bushes, sticks, rocks, repeat. The sound of birds chirping overhead made a nice ambience, but it did little to help you find what you were looking for. After about ten minutes with no luck, you stood up straight, cracking your back, regretting your choice of posture. You groaned and crouched down on your knees, giving yourself a moment to rest. As you were about to stand back up and continue, something caught your eye. About thirty feet to your right, carved into one of the thick pine trees, was a strange symbol. You walked over to it, the picture becoming clearer as you got closer. It was a jagged circle with an X crossed over it, about as big as your head. It was sloppily done, the circle was more of a wiggly oval, and the lines of the X were off-center and curved. It was peculiar. Of course, it wasn’t uncommon to see things carved into the trees of a public area, but it was usually someone’s initials or the occasional swear word- never anything this big. You pulled out your phone and snapped a picture of it. You weren’t sure of the significance of it, but it was better than nothing. You took another long look at it, a strange feeling of familiarity overtaking you. Where had you seen this before? You reached a hand towards it, your fingertips meeting the jagged edges of the wood. All at once, all of the noise around you stopped. No birds singing, no whistling of the cold wind through the tops of the trees. It was as if you had been sucked into a vaccum. You inhaled sharply, and the air filled your lungs, feeling thicker than normal. You jerked your hand away, whipping your body around and wildly darting your eyes between the trees. You were being watched. You were sure of it. Your feet felt glued to the forest floor, and your breathing became heavy.
“Wh…who’s there?” Your voice came out in a struggling whisper, but to your sensitive ears it sounded like a bullhorn.
Your body felt like it had just been hit by an adrenaline truck, your hands balled up into tight fists beside you, but you were frozen. Something was stopping you from moving. Something strong. Your throat burned with the urge to scream, to cry. Something was here with you. Watching you. It had been watching you. Watching. Watching. Watch-
“I found it!”
You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound of Alena’s voice echoing through the trees. You gasped and your hand flew up to your chest, your heart beating so fast under your fingers that it felt like it was going to burst from your chest. Once the booming sound of blood pumping through your ears dissipated, you realized all the sound had returned, the sudden change almost overwhelming. Alena walked up to you, smiling and holding the damaged camera. She noticed the startled look on your face and laughed.
“Did I scare ya? My bad.” She held up the black box and shook it. “Things trashed...again. You find anything over here?”
You gave her an exasperated look, trying to come back down to reality, rubbing your forehead. “A…few signs of life. I took pictures.”
“Nice! We’ll have this son of a bitch in no time!” She looked up towards the sky. The sun was getting low, and a wall of dark clouds was beginning to move in. “Looks like it's gonna rain. Let’s head back, I think this is enough for today.”
You nodded in agreement, wiping your sweaty hands on your pant legs, and began following her back towards the trail, taking one careful look back towards the symbol on the tree. Maybe you just needed more sleep, but as you stared at the marked tree, you couldn’t help a dark feeling of dread brewing in your chest, and you didn’t want to stay out there any longer than you had to.
———————-
The sun was shining brightly in the sky on the day of your grandfather’s funeral, the blue seemed never-ending as it stretched out above you. Warm rays of the sun tickled your skin and offered you reprieve from the chill autumn breeze. You stared at the large building in front of you, old wooden pillars decorating each corner, blending into the wooden logs forming it in its entirety. It looked the same as it did the last time you were there, nearly six years ago. It was private property that your family had owned for generations, only about a thirty-minute drive from your hometown, and every funeral you had ever attended had been held here. You took a deep breath and let the nostalgic smell of the nearby forest fill your lungs. This place always reminded you of your childhood. Every year, your family would take you camping at the nearby campsite for your birthday. Distant memories of late-night fires and swimming in the cold water of the lake made your stomach twist. A part of you almost regretted showing up. It had been ages since you’d seen your extended family, and no one except your parents and a few close members of your family had seen you since before your transition. You knew that they were all aware of it, however. They had to be. There was no chance that your mother hadn’t gone around spewing to everyone that you had ‘turned into a boy’ since the day your parents realized that you were serious about it. Ever since you had taken your current job and moved out of their house, you felt less and less inclined to reach out to them. You still loved them, of course, but it was hard to bear the sad puppy dog looks that your mother would give you and the uncomfortable silences you and your father held. You both looked and sounded like an adult man now, and it was hard for you to disclose your true feelings and identity to them after playing the pretend game for so long. You felt alien. You had your freedom, opportunities you never had before, and yet you felt completely isolated. You ruined your relationship with your family to satisfy your wants and desires. Well, you knew logically that wasn’t true, but loving yourself wasn’t going to fix things with your parents.
You sighed, taking a moment to tighten your tie, before walking up to the front entrance, letting your feet drag across the gravel. The inside was the same as you had remembered it, one large open room that smelled of old cedar and Windex, with pale yellow lights that cascaded across the incredibly high ceiling. The only difference now being the several framed pictures of your grandfather’s smiling face hung on nearly every wall, and the plethora of nicely-dressed people filling the space, most of whom you didn’t recognize. Their hushed voices added a somber feeling to the already depressing atmosphere. You pressed your back against the wall near the entrance, searching for your parents. Your eyes landed on them at the far end of the room, sitting at one of the tables, conversing with one of your uncles. You politely pushed past the crowd of people, letting out multiple ‘excuse me’s as you navigated the sea of unfamiliar faces. Each step felt heavier than the last, a sure sign of your omnipresent anxiety. Your mother was the first to see you, her puffy, watery eyes meeting yours as you quietly walked up to them. You tried to look mournful, but you were sure you looked more uncomfortable than anything. Your father’s eyes followed her gaze, and he immediately stood to greet you.
“Hey.” You gave them a tight smile as you stood next to the table awkwardly.
“Hi, baby.” Your mother made no move to stand but lifted her arm to give your hand a limp squeeze, her skin felt cold against yours. Your father pulled you into a tight hug.
“I’m glad you could make it.”
You wrapped your arms around his stiff frame, breathing in the scent of his cologne, the same one he had been using since you were little, and it gave you a flash of comfort. For a split second, you felt like you were a kid again as he rubbed your back soothingly. Your mom piped up, clearing her throat.
“Have you eaten yet? There’s lots of food over there.” She motioned towards the buffet table, where a handful of waiters were busily walking in and out of the back room, making sure the array of food was dutifully stocked. “Why don’t you go grab something and sit down?” She lifted a crumpled-up tissue she had been holding and wiped her nose.
Your uncle, who had been busy at the other end of the table talking with a family member that you vaguely recognized, finally noticed you and stood up.
“There she is!” His loud voice rang out as he wrapped one arm around you in a painfully firm hug, his other arm preoccupied with holding his beer. You chuckled uneasily and weakly reciprocated the hug.
“So, how has the ranger life been treating you, huh? Anything exciting?” You could tell he was already tipsy, which didn’t surprise you.
“Ah, no, not really. Mostly just cleaning up after people.” You took a step back, unwrinkling the sleeve of your button-up where he had grabbed it. Of course, that was a lie; multiple interesting things had happened since you started working, but you knew that if you told them anything, it would somehow turn into a lecture.
“Ah yeah, I bet you get some real nut-cases up there during the warmer seasons. Damn crackheads are getting smarter, I tell ya’.” As he started rambling on to no one in particular about the increasing homeless population, you took that as your cue to walk over to the buffet table. It was nicely draped in a white cloth, as were all the other tables in the building, with a large array of finger foods to choose from. You ended up with a plate of mostly Swedish meatballs, each one with a small toothpick sticking out of it, and deviled eggs, your grandpa’s favorite. An average man. That was the best way you could describe your grandfather. He worked a strenuous, but well-paying, blue-collar job for most of his life. He loved his wife and kids and had the traditional values of a well-respected elder catholic. He was a good grandfather to you. You couldn’t say that you were particularly close with him, but that was sort of the norm with your family. Everyone was kept at arm's length.
You could still hear your uncle’s booming laughter as you made your way back to the table, and found that he had now gotten a small crowd of people to join in on his political talk. Your parents didn’t seem to be interested as they sat in silence, your dad’s arm draped around your mother’s shoulders, placidly. You pulled up a chair beside them and haphazardly picked at your food. You could already sense that the next few hours were going to be incredibly long ones. You debated leaving after the eulogy, but you wanted to be there for your grandpa. After all, this was technically the last time you were ever going to see him.
After what felt like the lengthiest two hours of your life, you were standing in your family’s graveyard, a wide, vast field surrounded by trees that had sat behind the lodge for decades. ‘Nearly every deceased member of your family has been laid to rest here, and when you die, you will join them.’ That was what your father had told you every year when you visited, seemingly unaware of the morbidity of saying that to a child who hadn’t fully grasped the concept yet. You remember looking out over the dozens of gravestones and pondering the fleetingness of life and the paradox of mystery that surrounds the question of what happens afterwards. Now, in the present, you stood next to your weeping mother as you watched your grandpa’s coffin slowly lower into the ground, right next to your grandma’s plot. Your father had his arms around your mom, resting his chin on her head and whispering reassurances as he rubbed her shoulders.
Your heart ached. You were grieving, but on top of that, you were embarrassed about being back with your family after trying to shut them out for so long. More than anything, however, you felt ashamed. Ashamed about who you were, ashamed for disappointing them, and ashamed that, despite your willingness to defy them and live freely, your life still felt meaningless.
—-----------------
Once he had been fully buried, and everyone had said their goodbyes, the only people left in the field were you and your mother, who was sitting on her knees in the grass beside the rectangle of fresh dirt. You carefully stepped up beside her, moving slowly as if she were a wounded animal.
“...I’m sorry, Mom.” You inhaled deeply, the smell of grass and soil tickling your nose. “He’s with grandma now.”
She sniffed, keeping her eyes pinned to his gravestone.
“Why haven’t you called lately?” Her voice was raspy.
You were a bit taken aback by the question, and you averted your gaze to your feet, rubbing your left heel into the grass.
“Uh, I dunno…I’ve been busy with work and…I just wasn’t thinking about it, I guess.”
She lifted her head, her once tearful eyes now looking at you with an empty indifference.
“I get it…you think you’re too good for us now.” She huffed.
“No, Mom, that’s not-” You were cut off.
“No, I know.” She stood, brushing her knees off. “I know that I don’t have a daughter anymore.” She stood directly in front of you now, eyes narrowed. “But I never gave birth to a son.”
Your blood felt cold as she walked past you without saying anything more. Your stomach flipped, and you suddenly felt nauseous. You crouched down, legs feeling too weak to stand, and put your head in your clammy hands. All of the built-up anxiety and grief of the past week that you had been so desperately trying to suppress crashed over you like a tsunami all at once, and you began to sob. Your muscles ached as you cried, harder than you had in what felt like years. Of course, it was stupid to come back. Why did you ever think that this was a good idea? Your whole family thinks you’re a monster. A heartless, confused child. Your throat burned as your emotions poured out of you like a drain that had been clogged for years. Stupid. Stupid. You’re so stupid. You ruined everything, and now you’re alone.
Amid your breakdown, you began to hear a soft buzzing noise, and the more you cried, the louder it grew. You clasped your hands to either side of your head, trying to block out the deafening sound, but it only grew louder, becoming almost excruciating. You lifted your head, feeling the vibrations in your throat as you shouted, but unable to hear it. You wiped away your tears aggressively, trying to unblur your vision, but found that it only grew worse as your sight was filled with fuzzy black holes. What the hell is happening? Are you dying? Questions swirled in your head as you fell onto the soft, damp grass, arms flailing around wildly as you tried to grasp onto anything, feeling only the flat earth beneath you. Something is here. It’s watching you. It sees you. It’s coming for you. It’s watching. It’s watching.
You gasped, lurching forward. Your heart beating out of your chest as your vision slowly began to return.
“What the fuck…what the fuck.” You whispered to yourself as you tried to assess your surroundings. You were…back home? You blinked a few times, eyes darting around the room, seeing only your bedroom, exactly as you had left it that morning. Had you been dreaming? No, the funeral was real. So, only the last part was a dream? You rubbed your face as you tried to get your thoughts in order. You had no memory of getting home. Did you experience a mental break, and then…drove yourself home? You groaned loudly. Come on, think. The date. What day is it? You ripped off your covers, discovering that you had never changed out of your funeral attire, splotches of green grass stains decorating your slacks. You desperately felt around for your phone, finding it lying near your feet. Monday. You sighed, only slightly relieved. It was the next day. It hadn’t been a dream. Still…what the fuck? You’ve had panic attacks before, sure, but you had never lost huge chunks of time like this. You lay back down, curling up into a fetal position, trying not to let your thoughts spiral out. It’s alright, you’re home safe, it’s Monday.
“...Monday!” You jumped out of bed, nearly tripping over yourself as you rushed into the bathroom.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” In your attempt to calm your debilitating nerves, you had completely forgotten about work.
—-----------------
After driving much too fast on the highway and receiving an annoyed call from Mason asking if you were still coming in, you arrived at the ranger station. Hair still dirty and disheveled, and feeling like your eyes were being weighed down by two trucks, you walked into the quiet office. Alena, who was perched behind the front desk, talking to the receptionist, heard you come in and was by your side in an instant, her face much too delighted for being at work on a Monday morning.
“Hey, handsome, late start today?” She teased, her mouth stretching into a wide smile.
You yawned and scratched your head. “Something like that.”
She smirked, tilting her head to the side with a fond expression, before straightening up and leaning closer to you.
“Hey, just a heads up…Mason’s kinda in a bad mood today. Something about our mystery guy. I dunno all the details yet.”
You sighed, wiping your face. What now?
“Alright. Thanks, Alena.” You gave her a curt nod and headed towards your office.
It had barely been ten minutes since you had sat down when you heard a clap from outside the door.
“Hey guys?” Mason announced. “Quick meeting in my office, I need everyone.”
As you all carded into the small room, standing around his desk, Mason rubbed his hands together and leaned back in his chair.
“Okay, so we’re all aware of the recent incidents involving a couple of our trail cams, yes?” Everyone nodded. “Well, apparently, late last night, there was an assault that occurred on two teens who were walking down Westpoint trail.” Hushed murmurs sounded throughout the group. He continued. “They’re alright, no one was seriously injured, but they’re obviously shaken up, and the families are looking to press charges against…whoever’s responsible. Well, I have reason to suspect that this could be the same person who’s been causing us trouble. Now, usually the cops would just take care of this on their own; however, since the incident happened on park property, and we know the land a lot better than they do, they’re requesting one or two rangers to go down and help them take statements from the kids.” You could see Alena glance at you hopefully from the corner of your eye, and you immediately knew what she was planning. Please don’t-
“Y/N and I can do it!”
You stopped yourself from groaning out loud.
Mason smiled. “Alright, sounds good. You’ll be meeting them at 3:00. I’ll send you the address.” He looked at his watch. “I think that’s about all I have for today. The rest of you can continue on with your work.”
As everyone else filed out, Alena came up to you with a grin.
“Way to go, me for snagging us that gig, huh?” She punched your arm lightly.
You chuckled flatly. “Yeah…thanks, Alena.”
—-----------------
Alena insisted on driving, which you honestly weren’t upset about; she had a nice Mazda with heated seats and a working radio. She also insisted on grabbing some coffee and doughnuts on the way because ‘that’s what cops do.’ You reluctantly agreed, only because coffee did sound quite nice at the moment, and you hadn’t had the chance to eat beforehand. You got your usual, a small white chocolate mocha with a maple bar, and Alena got some sort of large iced coffee with caramel drizzle and whipped cream, and a pink frosted doughnut with sprinkles.
You quickly scarfed down your doughnut on the ride into town, not completely sure whether bringing it into the interview was appropriate. Alena didn’t seem to have the same worries as she stepped out of the car in front of the nice-looking yellow house, sugary drink in hand. There was already a cop car parked in the driveway, so you both walked up to the porch and rang the doorbell. One of the cops answered, a stout older man with an alarmingly shiny bald head, peeking out of the door, looking you up and down.
“You must be the Park Rangers.”
Alena nodded. “Yes, sir, we are.”
He opened the door wider, stepping aside. “Come in, we’ve got them both in the living room.” As you started to move, he put an arm out to block you. “Just…be aware, these kids are pretty shaken up from the whole ordeal, so no sudden movements, yeah?” He looked between both of you before removing his arm and leading you to the living room.
The house was nicely decorated, clean and smelled like freshly-baked cookies. The boys sat next to their respective parents on two separate leather couches, looking timid and stiff. One of them, a small-statured boy with unbrushed mousy-brown hair that stuck out in all directions, had a large bruise on his forehead. The swollen, multi-colored flesh protruded from his head. You winced upon seeing it. The other boy, who leaned into his dad’s side like a frightened animal, had multiple bandages on his arms. You and Alena stood next to where the cops were sitting, directly across from the two families. The bald-headed one, whose name tag read ‘E. Redmond’, cleared his throat.
“Alright boys, let’s go through this one more time. Just tell us all what happened last night, starting from when you both left the house.” He looked between the both of them, expectantly. The other cop, a younger woman with a bun pulled-back so tight that it looked like a helmet, clicked the pen in her hand and tapped it onto her pad of paper.
The boys looked at each other, silently discussing who would go first. The messy-haired boy spoke up.
“Well, uh, we were both here, hanging out and playing games, and…we got bored so…we snuck out of the house after my parents went to bed.” His voice was quiet and meek, and he looked down at his hands as he spoke.
“What time was that?”
“Uh…like midnight? I think?”
The officer with the pen hurriedly scribbled down notes. The boy continued.
“So, we took our bikes and rode down to the park, it was only like a twenty-minute ride, since, y’know, we live pretty close.” He coughed, looking towards his friend, who seemed to be spaced out. “Gavin, you wanna say something?”
Gavin lifted his eyes and sat up straight, bouncing one leg nervously. “Uh…so yeah. We got to the park and went down the nearest trail, we just used our phones as flashlights and were just…y’know…messing around.”
Officer Redmond leaned back in his seat. “Messing around?”
“Yeah, you know like…just exploring and laughing and stuff.” He glanced at the other boy, a small smile creeping up his face. “Elijah was pretty scared.”
Elijah was quick to retort. “Was not! It was just…dark, that’s all.”
“Okay, okay. So, how long were you two playing before anything strange happened?”
They looked at each other again, communicating something that no one else could understand. Elijah looked back down at his lap.
“We heard some weird noises, like something in the bushes. And then, like, something like…static? I don’t know, I-It’s hard to explain.”
Your mind immediately went to your time spent in the woods, and the weird unexplainable feelings of dread and panic that seemed to come out of nowhere.
Elijah’s mom rubbed his back soothingly. “Go on, sweetheart.”
“So we stopped and listened, and then…he was on us. It all happened so fast, he hit me with something and I fell down, and I could hear Gavin screaming.” He rubbed his hands together, voice shaking.
“All I saw was Elijah getting knocked down, and then he pushed me down, and tried dragging me away.” Gavin looked equally terrified.
Redmond sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “So, he tried to drag you away by your legs, right?” Gavin nodded. “And then he just…let go?”
“Yeah, there was like…this weird sound. Like a screech or a scream or something. Really high pitched, like it hurt my ears, and then he let go and ran off.”
You glanced at Alena, who looked back at you with a puzzled expression.
“But neither of you saw his face?”
“No, it was super dark and we both dropped our phones. He was tall though, and fast.”
“Did he say anything?”
Elijah shook his head.
“You were struck in the head with an object. Did you happen to see what it was?”
He looked away for a moment, thinking. “It was…like a gardening tool I think? Or…an axe maybe? But like the handle, not the sharp part. It was hard to tell honestly.”
Alena nudged your side, giving you a look.
Redmond took a deep breath. “Alright boys, thank you. We’re gonna do our best to try and catch this guy. For your safety, parents, please accompany them when they go out in public for the time being. You have our number, if anything happens in the meantime please don’t hesitate to give us a call.” He huffed and stood, turning towards you and Alena. “You two, follow me.”
—————————-
The three of you stood in the driveway, Alena still sipping on her drink, which was now noticeably watered-down. Redmond looked in between the two of you with his hands rested on his hips, looking like a father about to give a mean scolding. He leaned in and kept his voice low.
“Your boss told me all about your mystery fella’. Now, before we jump to any conclusions, I want your honest opinion about this. From what your team has gathered, do you think that we could be dealing with the same guy here?”
Before you could say anything, Alena jumped in. “Oh yeah, I think it’s definitely a possibility. The kids said that the guy was holding like an axe or something right? Well the damage done to our trail cams is correspondent to a weapon of that kind.”
You nodded in agreement. You were still a bit hesitant to say for certain whether the two were connected, and Alena’s over enthusiastic inferences seemed to read as jumping the gun a little, but you couldn’t help the strange gut feeling you had. You cleared your throat before speaking.
“Our guy has been taking out the trail cams one by one, and we still don’t have any solid leads as to who he is or what he looks like. But, if this does happen to be him, I think we should do some more digging. Do you have any ideas about what his motive is? Like, do you think that there’s something going on, or is the guy just crazy?”
Redmond took a deep breath, folding his arms over his chest. “It’s hard to tell this early. It could be anything from drug crimes to an attempted human trafficking. Or, yeah, he could just have a few screws loose.” He looked back towards his colleague, who was still standing on the porch talking to a few of the parents. “I’ll tell you what, another one of those cams gets destroyed, don’t touch it, call us first thing. We’ll take it into evidence and try to get a fingerprint scan on it. In the meantime, try to gather as much footage as you can from anyone in the park that looks suspicious.”
“Yes sir!” Alena nodded fervently, putting her hand up to her forehead in a salute. You rolled your eyes and gave him a curt nod, silently waving him goodbye as you turned back towards the car. Once you were both buckled in and Alena had just put the car in drive, you turned towards her.
“Hey, have you ever noticed anything weird out there? In the woods, I mean.”
She glanced toward you, an eyebrow quirked. “Weird? I mean, there’s lots of weird stuff out there. What kind of weird?”
You looked out the car window, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible. “Just…like strange noises or like…I dunno. Just anything out of the ordinary.” You desperately wanted her to mention something similar to what you had experienced earlier on. The loud noises, or lack thereof. Losing hours of time, all the confusion and blurriness. The more you thought about it, they all seemed like symptoms of some underlying mental disorder. That is, if it was only happening to you.
Alena shrugged. “There’s lots of creatures out there that make weird sounds. Have you ever heard an elk call in the middle of the night? Terrifying. The first time I heard one I nearly pissed myself.” She shuddered.
You sighed and sank further into your seat. It seemed like she had no idea what you were actually hinting at. Fuck, maybe you are just going crazy.