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I first met the girl I now consider my soulmate in sixth grade. Soulmate is probably a bit dramatic, but hey, I’m seventeen, that’s like one of the most dramatic times of life. But regardless, we met in sixth grade. A fact she consistently argues with
me on, because she doesn’t consider it a proper first meeting, as she does not remember it. But I do, and that’s what’s important to me.
My memory is a bit fuzzy, so apologies if some of this lacks details, but six years of history is a lot to go over. Anyway, in sixth grade I was lonely, I had not onlyjust started middle school, but it was also in a different school district. Meaning not only was I in a new grade, I didn’t have any friends. But me being me, I managed to make a friend or two, thus enter Layna (no she is not the aforementioned soulmate).
Layna managed to drag me into battle of the books with another girl neither of us knew. For story's sake we'll call her Sunny, and I’ll be honest, I thought Sunny was a major dork. She had a big forehead, already had acne, and was obsessed with all things nerdy. Not that I had much room to judge though, as I had a fuckass bob, a fashion sense that still made me cringe, and was quite chubby(still am).
Despite all that, we got along well and even won first place, despite our team leader being out with COVID. After battle of the books, I honestly didn’t think I’d see her again. I was in all honors classes, so I assumed that would mean we wouldn’t have classes together, especially when the pandemic hit in march.
So for a long time, I was alone in my own little bubble. I had some other friends, but we started to drift apart as we got older. Additionally, I went through a lot of self discovery. I realized was a lesbian and had my first crush on a girl, that I realized was a crush anyways.
Seventh grade hit, and we were still at home learning. But I was shocked and delighted to find none other than Sunny is my honors classes. She had gotten transferred in that year because of her SBA results, so now we had classes together. Honestly I didn’t talk to her much at first, she mostly talked to a few other kids in the chat, much to our teachers dismay.
But as I started talking to her more, I found we had more and more in common. We like the same music,the same books, and what we didn’t already share, we started introducing each other. Finally, one day they were talking about fnaf in the chat.
Now up till this point, I wasn’t really that into fnaf, I’d watched some game theory videos, but that’s about it. Thus, I got very easily confused by their conversation of the lore. Sheepishly, after class I emailed Sunny (it was the only contact info I had, ok), asking her who was Michael and who was William, as I had embarrassed myself by mixing them up. She happily explained them to me, thus lighting the ever growing kindling of our friendship.
Most the rest of seventh grade is blurry if I’m honest, but we did do battle of the books again, and won. Mostly I just remember continuing to get closer and closer with her. Hanging out when we could, chat over email and eventually text, and playing Roblox together. I also ended up joining choir, mostly because I had a crush on a girl in choir, but I actually really enjoyed it!
Eighth grade was a turning point. We were finally fully back in person, and I’d get to see Sunny in person for the first time in a very long time. Walking into algebra on the first day, I looked around for her nervous. I saw a girl with brown and green hair that was way cool looking, so I thought it wasn’t her. That is till she turned and called me over. Honestly I was shocked, not only about the massive glow up, but also that someone that cool looking wanted me to sit with her.
That's when things started to go downhill, or maybe uphill? I started to feel different, I was starting to feel jealous, possessive, and it made me feel awful. This was most apparent as another girl entered our circle, making our duo a trio. She was fine, at first. We got along ok but honestly, I was only really friends with her because I thought she was already Sunny’s friend (which I later found out she wasn’t).
But slowly, she started to encroach on my territory. Imagine this: your math class doesn’t technically have assigned seats, but everyone sits in the same seats every day, as you do. However one day, you walk into class and this bitch is sitting in YOUR seat next to YOUR best friend! Like what the
hell!? I felt anger and jealousy like no other that day. But I stayed quiet, sat down, and Sunny moved up to sit next to me. Oh how I relished in that feeling of triumph, it felt like she was choosing me and it felt good.
About midway through the year, a sort of trend started in our middle school, where people would pretend to marry their best friend. Was it a little weird? Sure, but what isn’t weird in middle school? I mean hell, there was a shrine to the Rock in the girls bathroom for several weeks at one point.
But I digress, me and my Sunny decided to take part in this trend. So in the middle of math class, I took out a ring from hot topic and “proposed”. We thought it was hilarious, and so did everyone else, for awhile. As time went on, and we continued the bit even after everyone else stopped, people started making… comments.
One particularly bold classmate told us to our faces that they shipped us. I couldn’t understand why, but heat spread through my cheeks, and I hastily joked that Sunny wasn’t my type. As if I even had a type yet, I’d never even dated before. I tried to move on from it, but the seed was already planted.
So remember the girl that butted into our friend group, yea I totally called her being an asshole. We had one big argument over text, in which she was primarily at fault, and started spreading rumors about me and Sunny. Now I never found out what they were, because no one would tell us, but from the looks I got… it certainly wasn’t good.
Thus me and Sunny grew ever closer, as we found each other to be the only constant in this ruthless world called middle school. Oh the rush I felt dancing with her at the eighth grade dance. I was giddy and warm and all the good things. But I was also finding any excuse for my feelings.
Because she’s my best friend, and this is not a love story.