Work Text:
3:30am. That was the time, he had school in the morning. And yet, there was Jared. Wide awake, staring at the ceiling. And whenever he thought of Evan Hansen, there was this weird—fluttery feeling in his chest. And he couldn't really make out why. It was keeping him awake.
“Why, out of all things—Hansen keeps me up awake this late? And, he's probably sleeping, too.” Jared groaned.
That's true. He could be pondering about absolutely anything else. But low and behold, it was just the awkward anxious kid that he's known since early childhood. I mean, yeah—they've been hanging out more often recently due to The Connor Project. To write emails, of course. But that really doesn't explain the weird feeling that Jared feels.
Just thinking about it makes his heart race, cheeks flush—and shift into another position in bed. He's occupied with nothing else but his own thoughts. Pretty sure Jared is well aware about what he feels. Just in denial.
He's still going to keep sinking into the world of his own thoughts though. Trying to get something to click, as if flicking on a switch that was turned off. But his mind wanders to Evan. The way he fidgets with the hem of his shirt when he's nervous. The sheepish smile that appears on his face when he sees the success of The Connor Project. (Even though he's definitely still extremely anxious inside.) And of course, the cherry on top—how could Jared forget? His nervous expression and his replies when Jared teases him.
“Why do I know so much? Why do I bother to pay attention?” The thought lingers in his head.
Jared's eyes flicker back to the alarm clock. 4:03am, it reads. And suddenly, something just clicks.
“Holy shit. Oh my god.” Jared blurts out. It finally hit him.
He's definitely in love with the one and only, Evan Hansen.
“Fuck, how can I go to sleep at this rate?” He mentally cursed himself. Even worse, he obviously has to see him at school tomorrow. How can he possibly keep his careless; carefree attitude after this realization? He could try, but it's more likely to falter than succeed.
After multiple attempts, he finally drifts off to sleep. It's not like he actually wanted to, but he really needed to. Really, he could spend the rest of the time self-depricating about his thoughts—but he didn't want to be late to school, again. (Especially after the multiple times he's “accidentally” slept in. But obviously, it was due to the fact he stayed up late because his thoughts kept interrupting his sleep.)
—
Jared's alarm clock beeps. He's all groggy, especially considering the time he fell asleep. Half awake, he nearly makes an attempt to turn off the alarm clock and go back to bed, but stops himself right before he can do that. He reaches for his glasses, bounces up from the bed, and mentally prepares himself for the day ahead.
He then remembers the conclusion he came up to earlier in the morning. Suddenly, Jared Kleinman was dreading going to school, but also enthusiastic, in a sense. Almost as if he's scared to see Evan, but at the same time; excited. (That's absolutely the case. No doubt. He's clearly in denial.)
—
Jared arrives at school, like normal. Except this time his feelings aren't normal. His thoughts are jumbled up into one big puzzle.
Then, he spots nobody else but Evan Hansen.
“Hey Jared!” the taller boy exclaimed, nervously, while walking towards him.
Jared can't help but tug a smile at the corner of his lips. Then glances to Evan's. Whoops— nope, clearly isn't supposed to do that. He darts his eyes back up to the face of Evan before the other could notice what the hell he just did. He feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. Is that normal? Probably not after earlier this morning.
“I- um, took another route to school this morning. I saw, like, the most amazing, err—gorgeous trees.” God, the way he talked about trees was just so endearing to Jared. Though, he'd never actually voice that out loud. A part of him wanted the boy to keep rambling.
Pushing up his glasses, Jared forces a snort. “You're such a tree nerd, it's hilarious!”
Evan turned red, then darted his eyes away.
Jared noticed this immediately, eyes wide—trying to find something to say. To at least defend what he said.
“Oh shit, dude I don't mean it like- in a bad way. It's admirable, yeah. Unfortunately because of you I have a lot of stupid tree facts memorized.”
“Admirable”? Did he actually say that? To the guy he's obviously pining over?
He looks at Evan to catch his expression. Evan blushes, his cheeks turning a subtle light pink while he smiles at him.
Jared could melt right fucking there.
Thankfully, Jared is not a stick of butter! Though, he definitely felt his cheeks heat up. Evan noticed it turned an obvious bright red, but didn't bother to point it out. (With the fear of Jared kicking his ass.) He would've completely denied it anyway.
Jared doesn't even recognize himself at this point, it feels idiotic. He's noticed all different changes in behavior, and for some reason, it's due to the boy he's known since forever. His mind constantly replaying the moment, 3:30am. That night something turned in his heart. That night he realized—he fell in love.
But, had to act nonchalantly about it anyway. Rather than expressing them, which obviously—is the healthy option, he'd rather bottle them up.
Though the bottle spills at some point, right? He studies Evan, his appearance, the polo he's worn since Freshman year, just in a different color. Evan notices, putting on a somewhat confused expression on his face.
Without giving a second thought, he blurts: “Has anyone ever told you that you look good?” He was supposed to voice that out in his head.
“... What?”
Guess that bottle was bound to spill early. Some people around them heard it too, as Jared could hear a couple snickers and whatnot.
Shit. How was he supposed to make an excuse for this?
“I- err, it's a compliment. Just felt like it.” Probably one of the weakest excuses ever, but if Evan could believe it, oh well.
A beat.
“I'm not into guys or anything.” That doesn't help. It sounds like he's trying to deflect, but failing miserably.
“Um, okay..?” Evan manages to choke out, with a slight blush on his cheeks. Suddenly, something rises in his chest. Could it be that familiar feeling?