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Jahoda is a creature of simple pleasures.
A drink at the tavern, a quick game against the merchants, hot from the oven krumkakes, and sweet, sweet payday.
Simple pleasures.
She followed Boss's instructions to a T, fetched and carried, snooped and followed, and stayed well away from the Fatui Design Bureau.
Simple habits, simple pleasures.
Until the mysterious Traveller made her resounding entrance to Nod Krai, flipping her peaceful routine on its head, then stomping it into the kuuvahki rich ground.
She wasn't the only one doomed by the mysterious outlander's presence, as much as she enjoyed their company. Boss Nefer was dragged into dangerous missions, insidious foes and life or death battles that they barely survived by a hair.
But none of that compared to the sheer horror of having to watch Boss Nefer interact with the elegant Moonchanter, Miss Lauma.
Jahoda shuddered, as she recalled their interactions to an engrossed Demyan, in full theatrics, props and all.
"-And then she goes, 'Lauma you're so beautiful!' Like we're standing right here?!" Jahoda huffed, face red from exertion. "It’s like they forget they're out in public! Save your verbal sexting for the bedroom, I beg."
With a soul deep sigh, she flung herself back onto the bar-stool, inhaling the rest of her drink, then tilting it in the direction of the bartender.
"I don't even know what their deal is!" She exclaimed, her warm cheeks perhaps now influenced by more than just performance. "I swear to the Archons, one of these days I'm going to walk in on them going at it on the Curatorium floor. And that's somehow the best case scenario!"
Jahoda's next drink never came, as someone helped her up, taking on most of her weight, and tossing some mora onto the bar as she babbled on about the suffocating tension between her boss and the priestess.
Wisps of blonde hair fluttered into her vision with a sparkly trail of glitter just bellow eye level as she was carried out of the tavern and into the crisp night air.
Somewhere between, "They're definitely exes, on my soul! Does that make me a child of divorce?!" and "Boss Nefer, please give her a hickey and get it over with," Jahoda was dropped off next to a disgruntled Ashru, outside the Curatorium of Secrets, who looked wholly unhappy at being tagged into the responsibility of caring for a drunk Jahoda.
The cool night breeze took the edge of her stupor and Jahoda blearily felt around for the door knob, only to find it stubbornly locked. Even completely stoned, it was a small matter for her to pick the lock and stumble in, calling out for Nefer. Ashru strutted in after, giving an indignant squeak when Jahoda nearly banged the door shut on her tail.
The Curatorium was dim in sound and sight, with only the tick of the mysterious Sumeru clock breaking the stillness. Jahoda felt around for the light switch but gave up soon enough, too drunk and too tired to make vision a priority. Instead, she felt about the familiar furniture blindly, knocking her shin and bruising her elbow, uncommonly clumsy in her intoxication.
Once her bearings were got, she tottered towards where the couch should be, mumbling curses and complaints in singular breath. While it was odd for the Curatorium to be this quiet, it wasn't entirely unheard of, with Nefer getting the occasional migraine and retiring well before her usual time of 3 am.
Ashru's green eyes blinked in neon, back straight and haughty, looking upon the gangly human cursed with inferior senses, unable to walk straight in her own house. Jahoda stuck her tongue out at the cat in retribution of a silent conversation, and Ashru bristled at the insult, as one does when one is the vessel of an ancient desert deity.
Patting around the air, Jahoda breathed a sigh of relief when her hand hit soft velvet and cotton cushions. She threw herself in its direction, only to be met with an unfamiliar warmth and movement that felt oddly like deep breathing.
There was a loud cry, a clatter, a hiss and Jahoda was flung away, tight restraints pinning her arms against her body as bright lights flooded the room. Jahoda shut her eyes against the glare, all sense of balance lost, too drunk to comprehend anything that had happened within the past five seconds.
She squinted her eyes, her vision filled with green and gold and a piercing headache. A few blinks later, her eyes finally adjusted to take in a scene that belonged in a Fontainian opera as the peak of comedy. And she would've cackled with the audience, had Jahoda not been the butt of the joke.
Green vines encircled her body, the wisps of dendro coming from a flustered Lauma, clutching a blanket over her clearly nude body. Curled up next to her, eyes wide, seeming almost as startled as Jahoda felt, was a disheveled Nefer, more dressed than Lauma, but not by much.
It took a few moments for her dazed brain to put two and two together. It seems the moon goddess decided today was the day to bless Jahoda with the gift of prophecy, yet not the foresight to follow its instructions and heed its warning.
Nefer sat up, adjusting the blanket to better cover Lauma, then slowly slipped off the couch, stalking towards Jahoda in a way that can only be described as predatorial. The vines around her vanished, and she fell to a pile on the floor, her eyes unwilling to leave Nefer long enough to gather her limbs and stand.
"My dear, dear Jahoda," Nefer drawled, curling a clawless finger under her jaw. "Aren't you meant to be on an overnight intelligence gathering assignment? Pray tell me, what might you be doing here? Reeking of liquor, no less."
Jahoda gave a broken chuckle, tucking her arms around her as if her uncoordinated limbs could provide some barrier of protection against Nefer's honeyed verbal assault.
"About that… Uh, I might have, um… forgotten… it was… today…" She braced herself for the impending doom of a catastrophic pay-cut, perhaps even unemployment until the next big job was over.
"I see. Well, as you might have noticed, I assumed you capable of basic comprehension and had a very important meeting planned," Nefer gestured to the red faced Moonchanter who was shuffling the blanket higher each passing second, "That you rudely interrupted, both by breaking into the Curatorium, and shoving your face in the lovely Miss Lauma's chest." Nefer shook her head in exaggerated disappointment. "Really Jahoda, I understand the temptation, but I can't have my employees so rudely assaulting such a valuable client."
"Now," Nefer leaned forward, towering over a crumpled Jahoda fighting Lauma for the title of most embarrassed individual in this comedic production. "Whatever shall I do with you?"
"Miss Nefer, if I may interrupt," Lauma stood from the couch, wrapping the blanket as securely around herself as she could, her voice still hoarse from sleep. "This seems like a private conversation between you and Jahoda and I believe I've overstayed your hospitality quite long enough. As soon as I've gathered my things, I'll be heading back to the Frost-moon Scions, if that's amenable to you."
"But Miss Lauma," Nefer turned sharply, dangerous smile perfectly in place, her hand hovering over Lauma's shoulder, "I don't believe we finished our business." A finger pulled aside the fabric of the blanket, revealing a bright red mark branded against pale skin, imprints of sharp canines trailing down a stiff shoulder.
She was going two for two today, Jahoda thought glumly, the moon goddess is truly benevolent. Nefer's icy advances did wonders to sober her up, enough to realize the smartest decision would be to make like the wind and vanish into the winter night.
As the two women began their tense song and dance, Jahoda crept towards the door and freedom, begging the room's usual creaks to keep to themselves for once, praying to Celestia that Nefer was too caught up eye-fucking the priestess to punish her, at least until the next morning after her anger simmered away.
Three steps, two, one, almost there… And her beautifully crafted plan crumbled into dust with a traitorous meow from Ashru. She could see it in the cat's petty eyes; this is what you get for disrespecting the vessel of a deity.
Nefer turned, dendro tendrils already flying towards her, but throwing all caution to the winds, Jahoda leapt out the window left open for Ashru's convenience, and threw herself down the dingy steps with thuds and clanks that must've woken up at least half of Nasha town.
Every inch of her body hurt, but fear kept her darting through the streets, past drunkards and black market dealers, knocking on boxes, tripping on wires, and catching on walls, not slowing until the smell of fish and salt hit her nose and the hum of the town faded away into the crash of deep blue waves.
Cuts and bruises littered every inch of skin, the imprints of vines on her arms and a dusting on dendro shimmered on her clothes. Hopefully Boss Nefer would be too caught up with Miss Lauma to come hunting for her apprentice at this time of the night.
Jahoda stumbled towards an open crate, exhaustion, aches, and liquor all branding their respective pain into her mind, clouding her brain and weighing her soul. She crumpled into the cool metal, curling into herself. If Boss Nefer decided to chase her down, at least she'll get a few winks hidden away here where only moonlight could catch.
With a heavy yawn, Jahoda drifted off into a deep sleep, with dreams of vines and drinks and the oppressive fear of pay-cuts and unemployment.