Chapter Text
It all happened so fast that it was too late for you to back out.
You were doing your usual before class routine, preparing your notebook for the lecture and doodling in the margins as you observed students walking in the class one after another. You were usually there first and you took comfort in the predictable order in which each person arrived. Hysilens always came in soon after you, and then Castorice would be close behind. Then Eve, and then Maximus. Then Professor Argenti would stroll in, taking the time to precisely scrawl on the blackboard. At this point, you would usually try and match whatever he wrote. This was a freshman comp class, so it was usually either a few lines of poetry that he found particularly exciting, or—as in today’s case—a sentence diagram. Even if it turned out to not be all that relevant to the material, it was a comforting exercise that allowed you to ignore the gradual chatter building, and how none of it was ever directed toward you.
Then Phainon would come in, usually a bit clumsily in spite of his athletic prowess. He’d all but tumble into the chair next to you and give you a cheesy grin before the two other cross country boys in the class, Cyrus and Nico, strutted in next.
That was when it happened. When your usual routine of casual eavesdropping turned real weird real fast.
“I can’t believe you betrayed the team like that, bro!” Cyrus said to Phainon.
“Relax man,” Phainon laughed. “It’s not that big a deal. I teamed up with y’all for kickball, and I promised Stelle I’d make a team with her for the next coed league.”
“Yeah.” Nico rolled his eyes. “And I’m sure it’s a coincidence that you’re teaming with freaking Mydei for dodgeball.”
“Dude,” Phainon shook his head. “We’re friends. Of course I’m gonna team up with him.”
“Still,” Cyrus crossed his arms. “It’s a bit sus how you’re loading the team up with all the top athletes. I mean let’s see, you have the softball player—“
“My girlfriend,” Phainon sighed.
“The baseball player,”
“Her brother.”
“The swimmer,”
“His boyfriend.”
“The wrestler,”
“My best friend.”
“The soccer player.”
“Stelle’s best friend.”
“And the volleyball player.”
“Not just a volleyball player. It’s Hyacine. Have you tried saying no to her? It’s impossible.”
The boys continued to argue a bit. They didn’t seem upset though. They were all a little excited about the whole thing, and Cyrus in particular seemed thrilled at the opportunity to go head to head against Phainon.
“I’ve always wondered if I’d like doing intramurals,” you muttered to no one in particular. Your pen continued to scratch at the diagram, filling out prepositional phrases without a second thought.
“Well hey, you should join my team!” Phainon exclaimed brightly.
You jumped a little in your seat. You weren’t meaning for him to hear you, and you sure as hell didn’t mean to insinuate that you actually wanted to get involved with his super athletic dream team situation.
“Oh…” You really didn’t know how to respond. Cyrus and Nico also seemed to be surprised. They didn’t say anything, probably because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but you could imagine what was running through their minds.
Her?
“I’m serious!” Phainon grinned. “Come on, we need one more girl to actually be able to play. You’d really be helping us out.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t want to….” You had to say no, right? “You guys probably all know each other and stuff. And I’m not very… sporty.”
“Oh don’t worry about that! It’s really lowkey, I promise. Besides like Cyrus was saying, we all do different stuff so you’ll probably be on more even footing than you think.”
You frowned. Maybe you could come up with a scheduling excuse. All of them were probably already super busy, so if you just so happened to be busy at completely different times as well, it would make joining impossible, right?
“When are the games?”
“Oh, usually in the evenings around 6pm to 9 or so. But they’re only during the week, and never on Fridays.”
Damn. You didn’t have anything going on at those times.
“And also, there’s not going to be more than one or two games a week. And we’ll probably only meet up a couple times outside of games to make sure we’re all on the same page for rules and stuff.”
“I…”
You looked at Phainon. His eyes were shining bright and hopeful. He looked genuinely excited at the prospect of you agreeing to join, which was strange because you never thought he cared for you all that much. He was the sort that was friendly to everyone, and you always assumed that he forgot about you as soon as he stepped out of the classroom.
But you didn’t really have a lot of people you were close to on campus. And maybe it would be nice to feel involved in something. Even if it meant being the odd one out in a group of people who all already knew each other.
“I guess I could do that,” you finally said.
Phainon was thrilled.
“Ok here, let me add you to the group chat!”
You entered in your number, and listened as he continued to pepper you with excitement, telling you how awesome it was going to be and how happy he was that you were going to be a part of it. You didn’t understand where all this came from all of a sudden, and it was a bit disarming, but you tried to ignore that feeling of unease. You were doing him a favor, and trying something new. Nothing crazy.
Still, part of you secretly hoped that they would all like you immediately, and you would become best friends with all of them. There was a fat chance of it happening, but the possibility continued to gnaw at you the rest of class.
“We’re all going to meet up at Waffle House tonight, if you wanna come!” Phainon told you after class. “That way you can meet everyone, and we can get right to business when we have our first official team meeting next week.”
“Sounds good.”
It wasn’t even you talking anymore. It just happened.
“Cool! I’ll see if Hyacine can pick you up.”
That afternoon was a whirlwind of trying to study and trying to avoid the anxious feelings you had over meeting with an established friend group you had nothing in common with. You ended up being so distracted that you ate dinner much later than you intended, and barely got any work done. Before you knew it, you were outside of your dorm building checking your phone as you waited for Hyacine to pull up.
Her bright red jeep pulled up right on time, slightly alleviating some of your nerves. She waved, and reached behind her to try and open the door. You went ahead and got in the back, and buckled up.
March was in the front seat and was very excited to meet you.
“I'm so glad you’re here! Phainon was really excited when you agreed to join us.”
“We have one more stop to make,” Hyacine said. “Mydei ended up needing a ride at the last minute. Sorry for not telling you earlier.”
“Oh, that’s fine!” You smiled, but your heart was racing.
Mydei.
You knew about him. You had seen him around. You knew that he was really close with Phainon, and that he was on the wrestling team. You also knew that he was huge, practically never smiled, and scared you shitless.
When Mydei approached the car, you didn’t hesitate to unbuckle and move to the passenger side. He swung his body in effortlessly, and plopped down onto the seat, causing the whole car to shake. He was wearing a black tank top, causing his already huge arms to appear even bigger than usual. It was impossible to look away. He caught you watching, and looked you up and down briefly.
“Come on Mydei, aren’t you gonna say hi to our new friend?” March seemed completely unaware of any potential tension.
“Hey,” Mydei mumbled. You gave him a weak smile. He immediately turned away and looked out the window.
“Sorry about him,” Hyacine said, kindly.
“He’s a bit shy,” March whispered. Although it was loud enough for Mydei to hear, he did not refute this claim.
Shy?
It was hard for you to believe that a guy like him would be shy. It’s not like he ever did anything to try and hide in the background like you were used to doing. He stood out, and he never seemed to care. He would glare at anyone who got too close, and would grumble whenever girls tried to speak with him. Prickly, maybe. But these were his friends. Maybe they knew something you didn’t.
Not that it mattered. You had dealt with his sort before, and you knew that the safest option was to be cordial and keep your distance. It wasn’t like you were going to be best friends with anyone anyway. It was all just a temporary thing. And maybe it was good if he hated you. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about everyone else rejecting you. If the scariest guy in the group didn’t want you there, then it didn’t really matter what the others thought. Right?
Mydei didn’t have much to say to the duo that Dan Heng had once jokingly called the “Pink Provacateurs,” so he didn’t really think when he hopped into the car. Anything he said could and would be used against him, after all, and being the only single person in the group (aside from the Provacateurs themselves) they were always on his case—especially Hyacine.
And then he saw you.
Fuck.
The moment Phainon added you to the group chat, anxiety had filled Mydei's body. He did an extra hard workout to try and push through it, but then he saw that you were going to be at Waffle House that evening and it only made his nerves skyrocket. He felt like he was going to puke.
He wanted to call Phainon, to chew him out, to ask him how he could do something like that when he knows how much this sort of thing bothers him, how he needs at least a day to mentally prepare himself.
He texted Dan Heng instead.
What do you think about all this?
What do you mean?
Phainon inviting someone at the last minute.
Dan Heng’s bubble appeared and disappeared several times. Mydei knew that this was typical for Dan Heng, always thoughtful and trying to say the right thing, but it still was unnerving to see.
Finally, Dan Heng’s response came through.
I know that this is difficult for you, but I think it will be a good thing in the end. She was in my orientation group, and she seemed like a good natured person. She was also a bit quiet, so I don’t think she’ll bother you too much if that’s what you’re concerned about. It’s obviously easier for me to say, but I don’t think this is something you need to worry about. She is probably just as nervous as you are, if anything.
Yeah right. If you were already friends with Phainon you’d probably fit right in with nothing to worry about. Maybe Dan Heng was right. But he very well could be wrong.
Mydei ultimately decided that he was too anxious to drive himself, and Hyacine graciously offered to pick him up. What she neglected to mention was that he wasn’t the only one who she was driving. So when he saw you scrambling to the other side of the car, it felt like a kick in the gut. To make matters worse, you were pretty too, and he could feel your eyes lingering on him even after he closed the door.
Of course Hyacine would set him up like this.
“Come on Mydei,” March teased. “Aren’t you gonna say hi to our new friend?”
I’m going to strangle you is what I’m going to do, he thought. Not that he ever would. He just couldn’t help but feel betrayed. His friends knew how sensitive he was. How could they do this?
Mydei finally mustered up the strength to look at you and say “hey.”
And then you had to go and smile.
It wasn’t even a real smile, he knew that. He had seen this sort of smile from countless people before. You were afraid of him, like everyone else, but were trying to be polite. It wasn’t a matter of courtesy, but a matter of calling a lion “good kitty” as you carefully backed out of its cage. But for some reason your smile still caused the nerves to bubble up in his stomach once more.
He instantly turned away so you couldn’t see his cheeks reddening. He felt your eyes on him still, knowing full well that you were sizing him up. He tried to stay calm and ignore March’s prattlings. He tried to take deep breaths and focus on the rise and fall of the wires on the power lines. He tried not to notice your stares. He tried not to think about your pretty face, how wide your eyes got when you saw him, how much he wanted to see you do that again. How much he wanted to look you in the eyes as you kept drinking him in, tracing his tattoos with your eyes up his arms and down his chest.
His stomach gurgled, further removing his already lacking ability to disappear. He stifled a burp. Titans save me, he thought. This was going to be a long night