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r/PIDW
2014.09.22 [Peerless Cucumber] Proud Immortal Demon Way never fails to disappoint me. After all the plot holes, after all the frustration I’ve had as a reader… Luo Binghe’s ending is just existentially empty, depressing, uninspired, and sad. Don’t start with the whole “that’s every man’s dream ending” thing, because it definitely isn’t Luo Binghe’s dream.
2014.09.24 [Peerless Cucumber] It’s honestly pathetic that even three days after the series ended, we still haven’t gotten any kind of statement from the author, who, up until now, always seemed pretty eager to interact with fans and respond to feedback. I get that some of you are dumb enough to think the ending was satisfying, but ignoring me it is just too cruel! I just want Airplane to explain what the hell led to that choice for an ending.
2014.10.01 [Peerless Cucumber] For those stupid enough to be content with such a disgrace of an ending, I suggest you go back and reread the first two volumes of PIDW (that’s Prologue–Chapter 54) to remember what young Luo Binghe actually aspired to. Maybe with enough time, you’ll reflect on how much of his journey was shaped by the world around him. Luo Binghe never wanted a harem full of wives, all he ever wanted was to be loved. His kindness dragged him through countless misfortunes, and revenge never brought him true happiness. In the end, what Luo Binghe deserves is a happy ending for himself, not one that pleases you readers.
2014.12.21 [Peerless Cucumber] Hello? Can someone say anything? Am I being ghosted by a whole forum because of my opnions?! Also three months with no word from the author. Still, I can’t help hoping that Luo Binghe might get the happy ending he deserves, even if I have to make sure of it myself.
Peerless Cucumber has entered the chat.
System: ? How did you get in here? ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò⑅₎ა
Peerless Cucumber: ? What do you mean, you’re the one who added me!
System: …
Peerless Cucumber: What even is this place, anyway? I thought it was some kind of group chat, but it’s just you… kinda sus. Hey, do you like PIDW too?
System: It’s my favorite novel! I’ve reread it like, thousands of times!
Peerless Cucumber: Ehw. That’s… some questionable taste. Well, not that I can really talk. Anyway, do you happen to know anything about the author? After the last chapter dropped, he basically vanished to avoid the hate.
System: Aw! Don’t talk like that about Airplane! He might be a scaredy hamster, but he’s super hardworking! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ᴗ - ˵ )✧
But… I did hear somewhere that he got electrocuted and died.
Peerless Cucumber: What?! Where the hell did you hear that?!
System: Secret (˶◜ᵕ◝˶)… I can’t tell gege~
Peerless Cucumber: Oush… And why should I even believe you? You’re probably just making stuff up. Also, what’s with all those damn kaomojis?!
System: It’s how I express myself better since people can’t see my face 𐔌՞꜆.̫.꜀՞𐦯
Peerless Cucumber: ? But everyone online is like that… Whatever. Do you not have another name? “System” sounds weird as hell.
System: Another name? (╭ರ_•́)? Hmm… let me think…
System changed their name to Bingzu.
Bingzu: Is this better? （´∇｀''）
Peerless Cucumber: I guess so… Well, you can just call me Cucumber, I suppose.
Bingzu: Cucumber-gege (˶˃ᵕ˂˶)
Peerless Cucumber: …
You’re not one of those fujoshi girls who write porn about Mobei Jun and Luo Binghe, are you? They’re always calling me that…
Bingzu: Don’t worry, gege, I’m not one of them!
Peerless Cucumber: Hm…
Peerless Cucumber: Are you even a guy, though? With all those kaomojis, it’s kinda hard not to assume you’re one of the fandom’s fujoshis.
Bingzu: Yeah, I’m a man, at least… I mean-yeah! You could say that! (ᵕ • ᴗ •)
Peerless Cucumber: What kind of answer is that?!
Anyway, I guess it’s kinda fun talking to you. Ever since PIDW ended, I haven’t had much to do. It’s been pretty boring… Even when I try posting in forums, people just ignore me now. It’s like everyone collectively decided to ghost me.
Bingzu: That’s so cruel (ó﹏ò｡) Why do you think that happens, gege?
Peerless Cucumber: Well! They’re stupid enough not to notice how horrible PIDW’s ending actually is. Please tell me you’re not like them.
Bingzu: Don’t worry, gege. I’m not like them. I also think PIDW’s ending didn’t deliver the true happiness Binghe deserved.
Peerless Cucumber: Exactly! I know Luo Binghe has a bunch of wives, but it’s not like he wanted that. Most of them were just thrown at him, and there’s that whole thing about him being every person’s sexual dream and, ugh! Just thinking about it makes me so mad!
Bingzu: Bingzu agrees with gege. Many of Binghe’s wives only slept with him because he wanted to help them.
Peerless Cucumber: Right! Binghe was taught that the only way to express love was through sex. Since he was a kid, all he ever wanted was to be loved, and when that was only given to him through sex… poor thing.
Bingzu: Doesn’t gege think Binghe likes having sex with his wives, though?
Peerless Cucumber: I think his body likes it more than his mind does. It’s biologically pleasant, sure, plus, it helps keep his sword calmer. But it’s totally different, you know? Having sex just to fill a void and soothe a demonic sword that’s eating your mind isn’t the same as having sex because you love someone. Luo Binghe never made love, he just had sex. And what he really wanted was to make love, Wait, why the hell am I talking about this kind of stuff with someone I don’t even know?! You’re not a teenager or a kid, right?
Bingzu: I’m older than gege could ever imagine ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)
Peerless Cucumber: HEY! Then why are you calling me gege? Shouldn’t you be the gege?!
Bingzu: It just feels nice to call gege “gege” ₍₍⚞(˶˃꒳˂˶)⚟⁾⁾
Peerless Cucumber: ...Anyway. It’s ridiculous how the author just kept tossing more and more women at Binghe, I bet he doesn’t even remember their names anymore. I’m sure if it weren’t for the Wikipedia page I helped write, Airplane wouldn’t even know how to refer to them. So many plot holes… it drives me insane!
Bingzu: .·°՞(っ-ᯅ-ς)՞°·.
Peerless Cucumber: Why are you crying now?
Bingzu: Bingzu’s just never seen anyone care so much about Binghe’s search for love before (·•᷄ᴗ•᷅ )و
Peerless Cucumber: But isn’t that obvious? Binghe never truly loved any of those wives, and they never loved him either. They just thought they did, because having a powerful husband looked nice on paper. Even Ning Yingying, as sweet as she was, couldn’t give him the love he needed. Not even Liu Mingyan, my favorite wife, and by far the least stupid of all the women in PIDW, managed to do anything about it.
Bingzu: Then how does gege think Binghe could’ve gotten a happy ending? (˶˃ᆺ˂˶)
Peerless Cucumber: Through love, obviously. Not some wife who just pleases him in bed, but someone who could fill in the emptiness inside him. Maybe someone who could… rebuild his trauma. I know he’s had all those MILF wives who were just there for sexual content, but maybe what he actually needed was someone who could comfort him and treat him gently, like a mother vibes, you know? When I said that online, people threw rocks at me, because apparently it’s “ridiculous” for a protagonist to need something like that. But he lost two mothers, of course that left a void in him!
And don’t even get me started on that awful Shizun who traumatized him so much! How’s he supposed to find love if wounds like that are never healed?! He needs a new Shizun! Someone who can teach him, rebuild his memories, show him that revenge isn’t the answer, someone to guide him toward a better way of living. I know Binghe had a few wives who were technically Shizun to other disciples, but what’s the point if they’re only there to warm his bed and not actually teach him anything?
Binghe also needs someone who won’t let him be so spoiled! Someone who can rein him in. It’s so one-sided, they’re always like, “Yes, my lord,” as if they don’t have a will of their own. Binghe needs someone who tells him no sometimes! Having everything handed to him just deepens his existential void.
So yeah, if I could build the perfect wife for him, she’d be designed to heal all the trauma he’s been through, to soothe it. And it’d be a slow burn! None of that “meet and bang in ten chapters” nonsense. Considering how much Airplane writes, I’d need five whole books just for their development!
Bingzu: Wow! /ᐠ˵- ⩊ -˵マ Bingzu is really impressed by gege’s ideas!
Does gege think that if Luo Binghe, even after everything he went through by the end of the novel, still had the chance to find true happiness through meeting his true love, he could finally be happy? (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)
Peerless Cucumber: Of course!
Bingzu: And what if that true love came in the form of a trip to the modern world, where he meets a reader of the novel who’s completely in love with him and knows him so well that they’d know exactly how to make him happy?
Peerless Cucumber: ???? That’s…??? Way too far-fetched and completely weird?! But… it doesn’t sound like such a terrible idea either. Whoever the girl who ended up with him was, she’d definitely be happy!
Bingzu: (๑>◡<๑)
Peerless Cucumber: But… but that’s not possible, right? PIDW’s over, Airplane’s gone… the forums are… empty. No one talks anymore… no one talks to me anymore. Only you. It’s like… like everything’s ending.
Bingzu: If the story were to truly end now, and you were given a key, would you lock the door and walk away too?
Peerless Cucumber: Never! I’d stay in the room, with the door open, waiting for someone to come! I can’t accept this being the end of PIDW.
Bingzu: …
Peerless Cucumber: PIDW is my life. Don’t tell anyone I said this. But I love PIDW, despite everything. I love Luo Binghe. I don’t have much of a social life; I live far from my family, I don’t have friends, graduated college ages ago. My whole life has basically revolved around dedicating myself to PIDW. And now I don’t even know how to go on living, especially knowing Binghe never got his happy ending…
Bingzu: gege…
Peerless Cucumber: Bingzu, I’m so… confused. Everything feels strange. I browse websites and it’s like I’m a ghost. I see nothing. I can’t connect with anyone. It’s like everything’s just… shut off. I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want you to think I was crazy, but… the only thing I can still do is talk to you in this chat.
Bingzu: gege… gege, sorry but… you’re not… you’re not real.
Peerless Cucumber: What…? Of course I’m real. My name’s Shen Yuan… I have a family, a house, a degree… I’ve lived a whole life.
Bingzu: gege isn’t Shen Yuan… gege only carries Shen Yuan’s memories. Gege is only… Peerless Cucumber.
Peerless Cucumber: ???
Bingzu: Shen Yuan was poisoned by food, hospitalized, and now his mind exists inside the world of PIDW. Gege is a fragment of his will and desires, a ghost wandering through the forums dedicated to the novel.
Peerless Cucumber: Then how am I talking to you?
Bingzu: Because Bingzu isn’t real either. Or rather: Bingzu isn’t human.
Peerless Cucumber: ???
Bingzu: Bingzu was born from Luo Binghe’s wish for a better future. A system, spread across the multiverse, designed to bring happiness to Binghe. And I realized… the key to that might be gege.
Peerless Cucumber: You’re saying… I could make Binghe happy?
Bingzu: You already have. In a reboot, a new version, you’ve already given him happiness. And you’ve given happiness to me, too. The conversations I’ve had with gege have been the best I’ve ever had. I’ve existed for thousands of years, and I’ve never felt as happy as I do now.
Peerless Cucumber: But… but we only just met…
Bingzu: Bingzu’s actually been talking to Peerless Cucumber on the forums for a long time, under many different accounts ¯\(ツ)/¯. Bingzu needed to be sure that Peerless Cucumber really was the user who could bring happiness to Binghe!
Peerless Cucumber: Then… then what now? If I’m not real…
Bingzu: Don’t worry, gege. Bingzu can make you real. Tell me, gege, would you like a chance to help Bingzu bring happiness to every version of Binghe across the multiverse?
Peerless Cucumber: You even have to ask?!
Bingzu: 𐔌ˊᵕˋ𐦯
When Jueshi Huanggua opened his eyes for the first time, he finally understood what it meant to be alive.
He had fingers; hands, feet, a head — everything that made him feel human.
In a large mirror before him, he saw his reflection for the very first time.
His body was identical to Shen Yuan’s; but his clothes were not. His hair was long and green — an oddly cucumber-like shade that might have seemed ridiculous, yet somehow suited him. Jueshi Huanggua recognized this form: it was how some people in the fandom used to draw him, a humanoid version created for memes and short comics, never realizing what the real Shen Yuan looked like.
He still wore glasses, and a hanfu as green as his hair.
He was beautiful...
But above all... he was. He had a body.
Before him stood a door.
Jueshi Huanggua did not hesitate to walk toward it.
When he opened it, a tall and majestic man sat surrounded by countless computers.
Their gazes met — and at once, tears welled in that man’s eyes.
“Finally, I’m not alone anymore…”
Long, celestial curls of hair — so long they brushed against the floor, like a Rapunzel destined to spend her whole life locked away in a tower. Dark, sunken eyes; exhaustion etched deep into his features, a sorrow so profound that this fleeting moment of joy felt like the first he’d had in ages.
“Binghe…”
His clothes were tattered, his body corrupted, as though intertwined with all those machines around him. That man, at first glance, no longer possessed the princely beauty once worthy of Luo Binghe — he was a Binghe defeated, worn down by a long, merciless struggle.
To many, those signs of weakness would seem tragic, unappealing.
To Jueshi Huanggua, they were the most beautiful thing in existence.
That was Binghe — with all his flaws and virtues, still Binghe.
And everything Jueshi Huanggua had ever wanted — his very existence, born from Shen Yuan’s uncontrollable urge to argue in online forums, to defend that Binghe deserved happiness above all — led to this.
Their missions, at last, had converged.
Jueshi Huanggua stepped closer, his hand gently brushing against Luo Binghe’s face.
“Gege always said that Binghe deserved love. Everything gege ever did, throughout his entire existence, was to love Binghe.”
A sincere smile crossed Jueshi Huanggua’s lips.
“And that is what I will always do.”