Chapter Text
Tsunade rubbed the cold moisture on her fingers, the cup of ice chips slowly melting as she stared at where she’d placed it on the nightstand as she kept vigil.
They’d informed her of Shizune’s condition, told her what happened and the unbelievable result.
“She’s a kid. She’s not hurt, it’s just—She’s a kid, hokage-sama.”
She’d braced herself but it was still a hard punch straight to the gut to see Shizune as a teenager again. Her heart was twisting with a memory, the scene was just similar enough to before that Tsunade had to convince herself she wasn’t reliving the past through a nightmare.
The person laying unconscious in the bed was Shizune, Tsunade could clearly see that. A preliminary diagnostic jutsu had confirmed that and reassured her that Shizune wasn’t physically injured.
Shizune wasn’t fighting for her life, she was unconscious. Tsunade had to keep reminding herself of that.
Old scars that had long since faded were fresh, healed but new in a way they hadn’t been in over decade. Shizune didn’t only appear younger, it was if time had physically reversed Shizune to her past self, down to the tiniest detail.
Spindly and juvenile, even her hair was styled a bit longer than she preferred as an adult. She was a touch too thin for her height and age, a combination of undereating and stress.
Shizune was exactly as she had once been. Exactly as Tsunade remembered her.
She couldn’t stop herself from remembering that day, she’d been the age she appeared to be now. The day she’d nearly lost her.
Tsunade was pulled from her dark reminiscing as Shizune started to fidget.
Tsunade had no idea what to expect from Shizune’s mental state, so she was bracing for the worst.
If she was groggy and calm that would be best but Tsunade knew Shizune’s tended to be jumpy when first waking up. She was a medic and very rarely was she the one waking up after losing consciousness but the few times she had she’d taken a swing at whoever was closest before her wits could catch up with her. It wasn’t uncommon for shinobi, after all.
With that knowledge in mind Tsunade was unsurprised by what happened next.
Shizune jolted awake with a startled gasp, already moving before her eyes had fully opened.
She tried to jump from the bed, tangling herself in its sheets. Tsunade quickly grasped her shoulder to keep her from falling onto the floor.
“You’re alright—"
The moment Tsuande’s hand made contact with Shizune the girl threw herself back. Leaping onto the closest wall, one leg still tangled in a bed sheet, sticking to it with chakra only for a moment before the chakra exhaustion caught up with her and she slid off, crashing to the floor with a pained yelp.
“Shizu—”
“Stay back!” The girl rasped, struggling to her feet. Her hand formed a flickering, barely there, wisp of a chakra blade as she pressed herself against the wall, as far away from Tsunade as possible.
The tiniest bit of Tsunade’s anxiety loosened its hold on her. The chakra scalpel was a promising sign.
“You’re safe. Calm down.” Shizune stared at her, eyebrows coming together and eyes widening in disbelief as she registered Tsunade’s appearance. “Knock it off with the scalpel or you’re going to lose consciousness, you’re chakra-exhausted.”
She didn’t obey, scowling at Tsunade as her eyes darted around the room, taking it in. Her eyes lingered on the window and the door before snapping back towards Tsunade.
“You’re not—Who—Who are you?”
“You don’t recognize me?” Tsunade kept her voice even, worry skyrocketing as new possibilities entered her mind. “What about your own name, can you tell me what it is?”
A complete amnesia?
“I asked who you are!” Shizune snapped, coughing when the words proved too harsh for her throat.
Tsunade thought the question over, deciding the best way to answer when she had no idea what Shizune remembered. Your guardian. Your teacher. Your friend. The hokage.
“Your henge is good but still off,” Shizune spat while Tsunade was thinking.
“It isn’t a henge, I’m Senju Tsunade. You were injured on a mission. You’re confused.”
The jolting stop-start pulsing of Shizune’s chakra as she repeatedly tried to break a non-existent genjutsu hummed over Tsunade’s senses.
Shizune’s chakra felt young, flare bright and a touch less solid than that of an adult.
A suspicion began to solidify in Tsunade’s mind.
Shizune looked like a teenager and was treating Tsunade like a potential enemy but not like she didn’t recognize who she was, more like she didn’t believe her to be who she claimed.
“Shizune,” she said calmly. “You’re in the hospital in Konoha. You were on a mission, you were injured. You’re safe. Can you get back into bed or do you need help?”
Shizune hadn’t stood up fully, Tsunade wasn’t sure she had the strength to.
“Stay away from me,” Shizune said immediately. “Who are you?” she asked again.
“Tsunade. Your teacher.” Shizune was unconvinced. “I’m going to step out into the hallway for a moment.” She paused, giving Shizune a knowing look. “Don’t go for the window, we’re on the fifth floor and you don’t have the chakra.”
“Sakura.”
Sakura stood up from where she’d been leaning on the wall of the hallway outside, waiting anxiously for news of her fellow apprentice’s condition.
“Shishou?”
She wanted to ask about Shizune, but the look on Tsunade’s face made her bite back on the urge to ask.
“I have a task for you.” Sakura straightened up. “I need you to get me a deck of cards. There should be one in Shizune’s desk in her office by Pathology.”
Sakura had a lot of questions, but she knew this was not a moment to ask them.
This was an order from the hokage, not a request from her teacher.
It was exactly as Tsunade had said, a deck of cards was neatly tucked away in the bottom drawer of Shizune’s desk.
Despite what she’d said, and the speed in which Sakura had completed her task, when Tsunade returned to the room she found Shizune inspecting the window with a serious frown.
There was an ANBU outside so Tsunade wasn’t concerned that Shizune would hurt herself, but the thought that she might try troubled her. A sinking feeling gnawed at her stomach, an old fear rearing it’s head.
“That’s not the bed.”
Shizune didn’t respond, glancing at her coldly before wordlessly retreating to sit on the bed, moving gingerly as she did.
“There’s ice chips in that cup, and water in the pitcher,” Tsunade told her. Shizune would know that, she’d know everything about what would be available to patients in the room.
She didn’t bother to say more knowing it would only serve to put Shizune more on guard.
Instead, Tsunade held up what she hoped would put Shizune at ease and prove it wasn’t genjutsu.
“Up for a game of cards, Shizune?”
Tsunade carefully placed the deck of cards onto the furthest corner of the hospital bed, projecting her movements and moving slowly. She backed away, giving Shizune space to reach for the cards without needing to get closer to Tsunade.
Shizune’s eyes darted from the deck to Tsunade’s face, hostility morphing into wariness.
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
Shizune frowned at her cards, then at Tsunade, staying stubbornly silent.
“Shizune?”
“0-1-0-8-0-0.”
Shizune’s registration number, Tsunade clenched her jaw.
“You’re not being interrogated,” she said firm but gentle. “You are within Konoha, you have not been captured, you are not a prisoner.” Tsunade decided to switch tracts, Shizune wouldn’t want to give up information if she believed she’d been captured. “You can ask me questions.”
“Who are you?”
“Really?” It wasn’t an unreasonable question, but still not the one she expected Shizune to lead with. “Senju Tsunade.”
Shizune frowned at her, eyes sliding down to the cards again. She went through them carefully, paused, then reshuffled the deck.
“Is it my appearance?” Tsunade guessed. Despite what many would say Tsunade’s appearance had changed over the years, differences that Shizune would definitely pick up on.
“What happened?” she asked, ignoring Tsunade’s question.
Shizune was studying the cards in her hand, carefully going through the deck, not looking at Tsunade as she spoke.
“That’s a good question,” Tsunade said, watching Shizune shuffle the deck for the fourth time. She wasn’t as good at it as she usually was, the act of cutting the cards more awkward than the practiced grace of her adult-self. “You were on a mission, you were hit by a jutsu. Right now it appears you’ve regressed in age about fifteen years.” Shizune paused, not moving as she processed the information. “Physically you’re uninjured besides the chakra exhaustion.”
“…Fifteen years,” Shizune repeated faintly, glancing up before directing her attention to the cards again, she drew ten of them, laid them out in a row in front of her.
“Yes,” Tsunade confirmed. “Going by your confusion regarding my appearance and your lack of alarm about your own you haven’t noticed any changes to your physical state, which leads me to believe that you’ve regressed mentally as well.”
She watched Shizune’s expression closely, it was still wary, but it had been replaced with something more troubled.
“The war is over, Shizune. It’s been over for a long time, it’s a time of peace.”
Shizune didn’t seem to know what to do with that information, staring down at her cards, shuffling them again and studying them carefully.
“Peace,” she repeated, muttering it more to herself than Tsunade as she carefully made her way through the cards in her hand.
Shizune had been born during the Second War, growing up in it’s shadow only to have to fight in the Third, Tsunade isn’t shocked that she’d get stuck on that detail.
“You expect me to believe that?” Shizune asked after a few minutes and two more card shuffles. The cards were telling her one thing but logic was telling her another.
“It’s the truth. I understand it sounds improbable to you and you’re confused but it’s all true.”
“Convenient,” Shizune retorted, unimpressed as she glanced up at Tsunade.
Her lips pressed together as she analyzed Tsunade’s appearance. Scrutinizing the slant of her features and the color of her eyes. Eye color could be difficult to pin down in illusions and henge, the smallest difference in shade or shadow giving the jutsu away to those who knew the person best. Her gaze lingered on the diamond-shaped seal.
“I don’t believe you.”
“That’s reasonable,” she acknowledged. Shizune hesitated. “How can I prove my identity to you?”
Shizune grit her teeth, looking away from her and down at the cards she held instead. She picked the deck up, shuffling them and drawing another dozen, Tsunade could feel her flaring her chakra again.
“No,” Shizune said firmly, looking up at Tsunade. “I’m not telling you anything. I refuse.”
“I see,” Tsunade said, realizing the issue. “You think I’m someone trying to get information.”
“The story you’re telling me is ridiculous,” she muttered, studying the cards in her hand with a frown. “I don’t know what village you’re from but I won’t fall for your trick.”
Tsunade’s eyebrows rose. “I know I may look different than what you remember, but it’s been a long time.”
Shizune made direct eye contact with her, making sure Tsunade was watching, as she bit her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.
“Shizune!” Tsunade scolded. “Don’t hurt yourself, this isn’t genjutsu.”
Tsunade barely repressed a flinch at the sight of bright red. She may have overcome the worse of her hemophobia but she couldn’t help but still be sensitive when it came to Shizune.
“Maybe it isn’t,” Shizune agreed stiffly, licking the blood from her new wound, red dripping down her chin. “But you aren’t my master.”
Tsunade turned in her seat, standing and opening a cupboard that she knew held gauze. When she moved to heal the wound on Shizune’s lip and clean the blood Shizune flinched away from her, quickly snatching the offered gauze and instead trying to heal it herself.
“Stop, you’re chakra-exhausted,” Tsunade ordered, resisting the reflex to reach out and do it herself.
Unsurprisingly Shizune didn’t obey, making defiant eye contact as she performed the healing anyways. Tsunade held herself back from steadying her as Shizune’s balance wavered, nearly losing consciousness from the drain on her chakra.
She struggled to keep upright, swaying and blinking heavily.
“You wore yourself out,” Tsunade said knowingly. “You’re barely staying conscious.”
“Not…Not telling you anything,” Shizune insisted, the severity of her words undercut by how pale she’d gotten.
“Fine,” Tsunade finally allowed, biting back a sigh. She’d hoped to get further with Shizune, to at least convince her that she wasn’t in danger. “We’ll speak more later, for now I’m ordering you to rest.” If Shizune thought anything about her giving orders she kept it to herself, but she was already on the verge of passing out again, Tsunade isn’t sure she even heard her. “Don’t attack any of the staff or hurt yourself, if you do they’ll have no choice but to restrain you,” she warned. “You’re within the walls of Konoha. You’re not a prisoner, you’re a patient. The war is over, Shizune. You’re safe.”
“Is she alright?” Sakura asked anxiously.
“She’s not physically injured beyond chakra exhaustion,” Tsunade said, choosing her words carefully. “She’s of sound mind. Lucid.” There was something about the way she was speaking, the specific words that set Sakura’s teeth on edge.
“Shishou?”
“She’s…” Tsuande considered how to word it. “She’s not the Shizune you know.”
“Huh?” That was not what Sakura had been expecting to hear.
“By my estimate Shizune, physically and mentally, has regressed about fifteen years.”
She couldn’t be certain since Shizune refused to give her any information about her memory but judging by appearance and her general demeanor Tsunade was confident Shizune was within a year of her guess, give or take.
“Fifteen years?” Sakura repeated dumbly. “Like…amnesia? What do you mean physically? Like a forced henge or…”
“Doesn’t seem to be a transformation technique,” Tsunade said, frowning. “Not a bad guess. The lack of memory could be classified as amnesia, in a way. Right now her condition seems to be stable, her life is not in danger. Given her current state Shizune will be extremely combative, I have her under observation to make sure she won’t hurt herself or attack anyone.”
“Why would she do that? You said she’s lucid, shouldn’t she recognize you?”
Sakura didn’t know exactly when Shizune and Tsunade had met but she’d been under the impression they’d known each other for a very long time. Tsunade had made teasing comments about Shizune’s Academy years once or twice. From Sakura’s perspective it almost seemed like there wasn’t a time they hadn’t known each other.
“She’s incredibly suspicious of her surroundings, including me. I don’t match her memory of my appearance, she isn’t convinced this isn’t a genjutsu of some kind.”
“But you still know things that could prove your identity right? The hospital is the same…” The building was plenty old enough, Tsunade and Shizune had both complained about the aging infrastructure of the hospital on more than one occasion.
“Mentally she’s still a chuunin fighting the Third Great War. She won’t trust her own judgement so easily. I suspect the last thing she remembers may be a mission but she hasn’t been willing to confirm that.” Tsunade glanced at a clock on the wall. “I give it four to six hours until she tries to escape. She’ll wait until after sunset to use the darkness for cover.”
“Are you going to put her in a secure room?” Sakura asked worriedly.
She’d seen it before, combative patients or prisoners that were put in special rooms that served as both hospital room and jail cell, they had special seals and fixtures that made it difficult for someone to get out or hurt themselves. She couldn’t imagine Shizune being put in one, it seemed cruel for Tsunade to suggest it.
“No,” she said firmly. “Restraining her will just spook her. I have ANBU posted to follow but not interfere when she escapes. Hopefully some freedom will allow her to trust me more. I’d rather she be allowed to escape than try to fight her way out. I don’t need more casualties among the medic corps, Shizune is already off the active roster until we get this sorted.”
“Will she be back to normal soon?”
“…I’ve already assigned people to deconstruct the jutsu used.”
Sakura felt a chill go through her at the answer.
“What were the cards for?” she asked quietly instead of pushing.
Sakura had half suspected that it was a nonsense task to keep her out of the way, but Tsunade wasn’t like Kakashi. She didn’t bother with those types of tricks to distract her students. If she wanted Sakura gone she’d have just told her to scram.
Tsunade took a while to answer, long enough Sakura wasn’t sure she would.
“It’s something I came up with during the Second War.”
Sakura held her breath, she knew the Second War was a touchy subject.
“When you shuffle a deck of cards there are too many possible combinations for genjutsu to replicate without repeating itself. It’s a handy trick to assure escaped or recovered prisoners that they’re no longer experiencing a genjutsu.”
“Did it help?” Sakura wasn’t sure where the line to overstepping was, but she was worried. Shizune was her teacher too, a mentor that she’d gotten close to during her time as Tsunade’s apprentice.
Despite being Tsunade’s apprentice for over a year now there were times Sakura still felt like she was intruding between her master and her first apprentice, there were questions Sakura knew better than to ask, mostly involving the wars. She wasn’t sure if this was one of them.
“It’ll take time for Shizune to come to terms with the situation.”
That made sense, Sakura thought. She tried to shake off the darker possibilities that were swirling in her head. Tsunade and Shizune were the best medics ever, she’d seen them bring people back from the brink of certain death, surely whatever was wrong with Shizune could be fixed. Sakura shouldn’t be worried.
“As a medic in training you should know,” Tsunade said decisively, voice even and clinical. “Medics are prioritized as targets for assassination and capture, especially during times of war. When taken prisoner they’re often forced to treat the enemy’s wounded under duress. Genjutsu and torture are the preferred methods to keep prisoners compliant.” She took a breath.
“The Third War was no exception.”
Shizune had been fully planning to get out of the building and run as far as possible until she could get her bearings.
She knew immediately that the one claiming to be Tsunade had anticipated it, had even planned for it. Maybe she even wanted Shizune to escape, there weren’t any wards or guards.
She had very pointedly not instructed Shizune to stay put. She’d also said Shizune was a patient and not a prisoner. Everything she encountered so far confirmed that to be true but all the other things she’d said didn’t convince her.
The sight from the hospital window hadn’t looked like Konoha to her, paired with the woman’s appearance and strange explanation Shizune just wasn’t buying it.
She might be playing into the enemy’s hand but Shizune didn’t want to stay in the hospital any longer than necessary, needing to get out and see for herself what kind of mess she’d found herself in. Sneaking around had been easier than she anticipated, the staff of the hospital were busy and stretched thin, leaving ample window for Shizune to avoid detection with a bit of effort.
She was good at that, moving around undetected, quiet and deadly. An assassin in the night, unseen.
The hospital was familiar, the layout the same as the one she knew. It had unnerved her but Shizune had used it to her advantage, sneaking into the nurse’s locker room for the floor she’d been on and stealing clothes and shoes more suitable for escape than the hospital gown she’d woken up in. She’d even found a kunai holster, the weight of the weapons on her thigh was the most reassuring thing she’d felt since waking up.
Unfortunately the chakra exhaustion hampered her efforts, she’d had to make her way mostly without chakra to aid her, sneaking down stairwells and up ladders.
There had been Konoha headbands, uniforms, and signs. Everything indicating that she was within Fire County, within her home village.
By the time she’d finally managed to get outside Shizune was almost convinced that the woman had been telling the truth. Maybe it was Konoha and Shizune was just confused, mind and body addled by whatever jutsu she’d fallen victim to.
Just as she’d began to consider the possibility the layout of the village that should have been familiar made her doubt again. The idea of a strong genjutsu once again was at the forefront of her mind as she tried to stay in the shadows and avoid the sounds of people.
While the inside of the hospital had been familiar the outside was decidedly not. A general overlay of the Konoha she knew but twisted enough that she couldn’t recognize the buildings or streets with certainty. Every time she thought she might recognize something there was something else that would throw her off.
There were destroyed streets and complexes, singed walls and the remnants of earth jutsu jutting out of the ground. The aftermath of some type of battle speckled across the landscape of the almost-familiar village. It was confusing, she couldn’t piece it together.
The woman said the war was over. If that was true why did it look like this almost-could-be-Konoha was recovering from a direct attack?
Shizune hadn’t allowed that to deter her, not trusting her own perception. She could be in Frost Country for all she knew, a powerful enough genjutsu could make an individual misread signs and headbands easily enough. While she thought she was sneaking through the night she could very well in reality be sitting in a cave somewhere, tied up and disoriented, waiting for a rescue that wouldn’t come.
Noticing that someone was tailing her Shizune brought one of her pilfered kunai into hand, debating whether she should risk going on the offense or if she should try to lose them.
She was pitifully low on chakra, feet sliding off walls instead of sticking properly, she wouldn’t be able to perform a proper jutsu. Her body felt weak and sore. Her head was pounding in time with her pulse, the pain severe enough to be a distraction. She wasn’t confident in her ability to win a fight and had none of her poisoned weapons on her except for her senbon.
Whoever was following her was either mediocre at stealth, unlikely, or was allowing themselves to be detected.
Her teeth ached, a pulsing bruise of memory.
Retreat and escape it is, she concluded grimly.
She turned a corner, her steps stuttered as she blinked in disbelief at the sight in front of her. Shizune stopped in her tracks completely, quickly stepping back into shadow, needing to confirm the odd new piece of information.
The hokage monument had five faces.