Chapter Text
As Evernight sits next to her at the counter in the parlor car, Stelle can’t help but at least feel a little skeptical. March tried to offer Evernight a bit more freedom when it comes to “taking over the wheel” as Stelle so eloquently titled it. In March’s terms, only letting Evernight out when they’re in danger is “a huge bummer” and she deserves better than that. Stelle agrees entirely, however, she’s still not sure how she feels about Evernight.
Talking about her having more freedom is one thing. Seeing her up and around in March’s body is something entirely different. Evernight definitely shouldn’t be galavanting around as March anywhere outside of the Astral Express. She barely gets along with over half the people here anyway. On that note, Stelle still isn’t sure if Evernight actually likes her or not.
Go figure that March asked Stelle to be the guinea pig for another supposedly solo and non life-or-death circumstance with her. Her girlfriend swore up and down that she’d still be somewhat there, just somewhere way further in the background in case things go awry. Things clearly can still go awry as seen by her random outbursts of not even remotely hidden jealousy she used against Stelle.
That’s why she tried to rope Dan Heng into it. Tried being the keyword. He wasn’t very optimistic about the prospect of “hanging out” with Evernight. She can’t say she blames him.
“If she does so much as attempt to get on my nerves, I’m leaving before she gets any sort of gratification from my reaction.” She recalls his exact words paired with an equally disgruntled stare.
If Stelle thought her relationship with Evernight was bad, theirs had to be a hundred times worse. They don’t get along at all. It’s kind of really bad when you stick two overprotective freaks in the same room for too long.
As much as she wants to avoid this interaction altogether, the three of them can’t sit in silence forever. Better her to start things than to wait for Evernight to say something that makes her want to bang her own head against the countertop. That, or Aeons forbid Dan Heng tries to talk to Evernight first.
No, no thank you. She already has a pretty good idea on how to avoid that certain circumstance.
“So,” Stelle leans on the counter with one elbow, “you come here often?”
Evernight wordlessly gets up from her stool and turns to leave.
Dan Heng stares at Stelle with an arched brow that can only convey the message of him saying seriously?
“Wait! I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Stelle sputters and grabs ahold of Evernight’s wrist before she gets the chance to wander off.
Evernight glances at her, then slowly, very slowly, down to the hand holding her wrist. Her scarlet gaze flicks back onto Stelle, and she can’t help but feel a little intimidated. “I am going to spare you some grace by kindly advising you to let go of me before I do something about it myself.”
She should not feel encouraged by that statement. She should not feel encouraged by that statement. She should not–
“What are you going to do if I don’t?” Stelle asks anyway, completely straight faced.
“Then I’m going to–“ Evernight starts to grit out only to clench her jaw shut mid sentence. She closes her eyes and exhales through her nose. It only takes a second for them to open again. “I will simply tell March 7th that you have an entire album on your phone dedicated to pictures of her sleeping.”
Stelle yelps and immediately releases her wrist. She points at Evernight accusingly with a frown. “Hey! Why do you even know that?!“
“Oops, I lied,” Evernight tilts her head and chuckles. “Unfortunately for you, she already knows about that. After all, how do you think I found out?”
“That’s not funny! She shouldn’t know about it either!”
“Maybe next time you should double check to make sure your flash is off before you take a photo, my dear. ♭”
Oh, damn it! Now Stelle does want to slam her head into the countertop. She totally messed up a photo the other day when she took a picture of March asleep across her lap. To be fair, taking a good photo while one hand was under March’s head isn’t easy. She also thought the flash was already off.
“…Are you two done?” Dan Heng deadpans from Stelle’s other side.
A beat of silence passes. Evernight’s smile doesn’t do so much as falter in the slightest. She chuckles once she realizes Dan Heng is glaring at her and not Stelle.
“My sincerest apologies. I must’ve forgotten that you were here for a second, Lizard Boy. Is someone upset that they weren’t included in the conversation?” Evernight asks a little too sweetly, “Hmm, you’d think someone who went a thousand years without talking to either of us could manage a minute without having the topic concern him. ♭”
“I’d prefer if I could go another thousand years without talking to you.” Dan Heng fires back and glares coldly at her. Stelle is only a little surprised that the glass in his hand has yet to crack from how tightly he’s gripping it.
On one hand, she should probably help Dan Heng out after a low blow like that. On the other hand, doing that would just actually piss Evernight off instead. Not to mention her current “playful” attitude was kind of attractive. Scratch that, very attractive. Maybe that’s not exactly an appropriate thought to be having considering the topic Evernight was jesting about.
There’s not really a winning intervention option here, is there?
“Hehe, don’t worry! That can be arranged, Dan Heng!”
Her voice takes on more of a forced bubbly pitch. It’s almost, almost like she’s identically imitating March’s voice. There’s an obvious deceitful undertone that she and Dan Heng can easily pick up on. She doubts anyone that doesn’t know Evernight would guess the same.
“…Why are you doing that?” Dan Heng sighs.
“You said you didn’t want to talk to Evernight, silly!” She replies with a smile, red eyes gleaming and all.
“You’re not her. We’re not stupid.”
“Hmm,” Evernight puts a thoughtful hand on her chin, “you may be right on the first one, but agree to disagree on the second.”
“It’s kind of impressive though, right? Right, Dan Heng?” Stelle playfully interrupts while lightly elbowing Dan Heng in the side. She’s going to decisively ignore whatever Evernight was trying to insinuate.
Dan Heng doesn’t even bother replying to either of them. Instead, he silently downs whatever it is in his glass in one go. Stelle can’t really say she blames him, but she’s also not going to ask what he just drank.
Of course, Evernight is far from finished with her display.
“Aww, what’s wrong, Dan Heng?” Evernight steps behind Stelle’s stool with both hands behind her back. She leans forward just enough so that she breaches his personal bubble. “Sea of memoria got your tongue? Wow, it rhymes and everything! Isn’t that kinda funny?” She chirps, still unashamedly doing whatever she wants.
“Oookay! I think you can stop here, E.” Stelle interrupts, but Dan Heng beats her to the punch entirely by getting up and walking away.
He doesn’t even do so much as spare another moment reacting to Evernight. Despite this, she can spot the masked anger dancing behind his eyes from a mile away. He beelines straight for the door to the passenger car. Stelle doesn’t bother stopping him. It’s probably better that way.
Evernight isn’t helping either. She just smiles and waves enthusiastically at him in that same condescendingly bubbly voice. “Better luck next time, Lizard Boy! See you tomorrow!”
Dan Heng ignores her, but does cast a glance over his shoulder at Stelle once he opens the door. “Good luck with… her, Stelle. I’ll be in the Archives. Text me if you or March need me.”
Stelle salutes him in lieu of a proper response. It’s a miracle that he managed to sound leveled out at all. He shakes his head and walks through, the door sliding shutting behind him without slamming. No need to piss off Pom-Pom or something, she supposed.
Evernight returns to her seat without any additional fanfare.
“Ah, what a relief,” her tone flattens back out, “and here I thought he would never leave. What a loyal one he is to even bother staying that long for your sake.”
“He’s not called the guard of the Astral Express for nothing,” Stelle just shrugs, not really wanting to talk about Dan Heng after Evernight literally just drove him off.
“Yes yes, guard dog, guard lizard, whatever he wants to consider himself. I don’t particularly care.” Evernight waves dismissively.
“Right…”
“Hm, anyway. Now that he’s gone, I do happen to have a question for you, Graybird.”
Oh no. Now she’s in for it. There’s always some sort of ulterior motive in anything Evernight does especially when it concerns talking to her. Maybe next time she’ll remember to place a bet with March on if she’ll get threatened or actually have a meaningful conversation with her counterpart.
“As long as it’s not another trolley problem then shoot,” Stelle mimes a singular finger gun.
“Oh no, my dear. Quite the opposite, really.” Evernight taps her nails against the countertop. “It’s about my March 7th, actually. No moral dilemmas or strings attached.”
“Uh, okay, is it ever not about her though?”
“Irrelevant. May I or may I not ask you the question?” Evernight replies, entirely unimpressed.
“I told you to go on, so…” Stelle shrugs, “you have the floor, E. Or the counter. Or… whatever.” She slides a can of soda absently from one hand to the other, though not without diverting her attention on the pink-haired girl. The answer must have been appeasing enough if the slight upwards turn of Evernight’s eyes is anything to go by.
Evernight clears her throat, and Stelle promptly returns her hands back to her lap.
“Besides the obvious, how do you draw the line between us when I don’t manifest any outward changes beyond my eyes? I know you already do that, but you are a bit more… attuned to my presence than I expected.” Evernight gestures to herself, making it a point to tug at the colorful sleeves of March’s shirt.
Oh. It’s… not the kind of question she expected, but she might as well roll with it.
She does have a point though. Quick switches between the two really only involve a shift in the colors of their irises depending on the one in control. Evernight doesn’t bother summoning her umbrella let alone her standard attire if the situation isn’t dire. Stelle always just knows when they fully switch even without taking a look at her face. Even Dan Heng takes a couple extra seconds to notice the shift sometimes when the switch is more subtle.
It might sound stupid, but there’s some kind of sixth sense involved or something. That’s not a subject she can really share with Evernight without sounding weird. At least there’s other details she's come to realize that she can use to pinpoint the difference otherwise.
“March is like… cute. Adorable! Undoubtedly the prettiest girl in the cosmos! You, though,” Stelle pauses in thought, her golden eyes scanning Evernight up and down.
The girl in question sits patiently still. One dainty leg crossed over the other while her hands remained neatly folded in her lap. Her vacant red eyes trailed Stelle’s every move, though not exactly in a way that she’d consider hostile. It’s not invitingly kind like March’s gaze usually is either. It’s a stark contrast from her girlfriend in every way, yet there’s still so much about her that drew Stelle back in.
It really shouldn’t. Not with how finicky and kind of awful Evernight has been since she first appeared on Amphoreus.
Then she remembers the time Evernight had grinned at her with a mouth full of teeth. The way her voice sounded like a deceptive drop of poisoned honey as she held Stelle’s hand against March’s cheek. It was a little unsettling at the time, but the more she thought back on it, the more she realized that she was kind of into it. That… hmm. Maybe that’s not something to admit outloud. She has a vague feeling that both March and Evernight would kick her ass over that one. It still raises a very fair question though.
…Is it weird to think my girlfriend’s counterpart is also attractive in a completely different way than she is? Stelle asks herself only to fight against the oncoming cringe before it becomes visible on her face. Leave it to her to ask this about someone that has a mean streak a mile long.
Maybe she is the real freak here.
She’s going to give herself a headache if that train of thought derails any further from whatever the hell Evernight was asking.
“...you’re, like, somehow the most handsome woman I’ve ever seen. You can’t fake her cuteness when you have your own thing going on just by existing.” Stelle finally blurts out. A pinch of embarrassment brings blood rushing to her cheeks as she processes what the hell she just said.
And you’re dead. The helpful part of her mind snickers. Dan Heng is going to have to come back in here and peel you off the floor.
However, the other girl doesn’t even do so much as scoff.
“Oh? Is that so?” Evernight says, and Stelle swears up and down that her unnerving smile grew the tiniest bit more sincere.
And… oh.
That's not remotely close to what Stelle thought Evernight was going to say.
Stelle half expected her to blow it off with a different cryptic comment together. Of course, she’s 50% sure Evernight is only paying attention because the conversation is technically about March. You know what they say though, quitters never win. She may as well double down if Evernight is even slightly amused by the topic rather than impassive or disinterested.
She just hopes March isn’t listening to this or else she’s going to be in for it later.
“I don’t know if you’ve seen yourself, but yeah, handsome. That’s definitely the word! March isn’t handsome, she’s pretty and cute and… you get it,.” Stelle shrugs, absolutely trying her damndest to sound nonchalant despite how obvious her blush probably is. She lazily picks up her previously forgotten soda can, which conveniently blocks the other girl from her sight for a moment.
Evernight, however, does not particularly care.
“As flattering as that is coming from you, my dear, I don’t particularly envision myself wanting to steal your role in that regard.♭”
Stelle chokes.
The can slams into the counter with a short metallic clunk that echoes around the room. It’s a miracle that the soda she’s drinking doesn’t come spraying out of her nose. Her throat burns and it takes everything to not wheeze for more than a couple seconds straight.
“What,” she rasps, “the fuck?”
Evernight tilts her head, expression unwavering. “Ah? I don’t believe I said anything inappropriate to warrant that response, did I?” There’s something about her tone that’s almost sarcastic. She can’t tell what Evernight means by any of this.
“It’s not–“ Stelle coughs into the crook of her elbow, “it’s not that what you said is inappropriate, it’s more like how you said it.
“...and that entails?”
Stelle has to refrain from burying her head in her hands. She steels herself regardless with only a small flustered sigh. “You called me handsome. Well, I think you did anyway. You also said it super confidently which was a little jarring, I guess? I didn’t know you saw me as… Anything. No offense, but I didn’t think you could think about anyone besides March.”
“I don’t believe I understand?” Evernight’s eyes flit to the side. “March 7th and I share the same mind, no? Her thoughts very overwhelmingly garner the idea that you are a very handsome lady, so I must echo the sentiment by default whether I like it or not.” Her tone is… flatter than normal. Not really dangerous, just confused if anything.
Suddenly, this is a much more awkward conversation than she thought it was going to be. “Oh,” Stelle deflates a little. She’s not sure if it’s from relief, disappointment, or both.
Evernight’s smile falters into something a bit more neutral. “Are you being picky or did I say something wrong again? I told you before, no tricks, no lies.”
“No!” Stelle shouts maybe a bit too loudly. That wasn’t on purpose, but it’s not like it mattered. Evernight doesn’t even flinch. She shakes her head and huffs out a short breath. “I mean, no it’s not that. You just… you do know you’re allowed to have your own thoughts about things, people, whatever, right? You kinda already do that with Dan Heng, but you’re allowed to do that with everyone.”
The weight of the air in the room suddenly falls onto her shoulders like a heavy blanket. It’s like Stelle flipped some sort of invisible switch by accident. Evernight smiles again, but this time it’s entirely blank. Empty. A canvas that may as well not have been touched.
“It would be in your best interest to stay out of topics you know nothing about. I will not warn you a second time.” The rising danger in her tone is enough for Stelle to force back a bristle.
“Woah, chill! All I was saying–“
“I am her shadow that exists as long as there is light. I don’t need to consider forming my own opinions in a long term fashion. I must support whatever my dear March 7th wishes for. That is my one and only purpose,” Evernight states matter-of-factly, but her gaze has turned cold.
“I thought we kind of talked about this already! You can have your own thoughts without actually going against March! It’s not that serious, I promise!” Stelle protests, her hands placatingly tossing upwards.
“Not that serious?” Evernight lets out a chuckle and grins that moderately unsettling grin of hers again. “If that’s what you truly think, then you know nothing about me, about us. How about you do yourself a favor and–“ Evernight’s sharp reply is cut short as the girl bites down on her own tongue with a pained hiss.
“Quit it!” She shouts in a way that’s just so unmistakably March. “I don’t know what your problem is right now, but you don’t have to take everything so seri– Oh.” Evernight, or maybe it actually is March, cuts herself off again upon locking eyes with Stelle.
A deep purple-blue takes up the bottom halves of her eyes while the top verges closer on a dark red-pink rather than scarlet. That’s a new one.
They continue to stare at each other until Stelle instinctively grins uneasily and waves at her. Dumbfoundedness overwhelms March’s face before settling back on something relatively impassive. Relatively Evernight. The color of her eyes fades back into a pure shade of red as quickly as the other colors had come on.
“Ah,” she clears her throat, “my apologies. That was not on purpose.” Evernight says with a smile.
It’s okay, Stelle isn’t exactly sure how she’s supposed to respond to any of this either. “Don’t, uh, worry about it? I guess?” She hesitantly responds.
The room falls into an uneasy silence after that.
Evernight does the thing where she looks around quietly instead of responding again. Stelle isn’t sure if that’s because she’s inwardly listening to March or if she’s genuinely just processing what Stelle said. She still can’t tell the difference. It’s hard to decipher the girl when she doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve like March does. It doesn’t help that she’s literally unpredictable in every way either.
Seconds turn into minutes of waiting. Evernight’s gaze occasionally flicks to her, yet she never speaks. She does, however, keep making odd facial movements like a slight furrow of her brow or squinting of her eyes. There has to be some sort of secret conversation Stelle is missing out on, but she knows it’s not her place to interrupt. It’s not like she wants to invoke March’s wrath for trying to referee whatever mental gymnastics she and Evernight are doing anyway.
If the past few shutdowns are anything to go by, it could be another minute, or it could be another hour. Unfortunately, she’s not going to pass the time any quicker by staring her companion down. Might as well do literally anything else until those two hash out whatever it is that Stelle accidentally prompted.
However, right as Stelle reaches into the pocket of her jacket to fish out her phone, the atmosphere of the room just… changes. All the heavy pressure threatening to rain down upon her shoulders evaporates in a blink. A familiar bubbly warmth tugs at her stellaron almost as if it was trying to get her attention.
Almost like…
Stelle whips her head to the side only for apologetically soft pink and blue eyes to greet her.
“Sorry about all that, Stelle!” March practically squeaks. One hand scratches the back of her messy pink hair. “She was starting to get way too mean to you. I kinda gave her a stern talking to and something to think about, so she’s tapping out.”
“Tapping out? So she already left?”
March nods, the gesture alone leaving a pit in her stomach. “Um, yeah! I originally wasn’t even gonna pop back in, but I can feel when she’s getting antsy. I told her that if she was just gonna get all moody with both you and Dan Heng then she needs to cool off somewhere else for a bit.”
March had tried to set up a good interaction between her and Evernight and she blew it. Evernight didn’t want to face her anymore tonight. One wrong turn in a topic was all it took for her to leave. She just apologized and left without another word. Though not outwardly sensitive, March being mildly upset with her over this must have been enough to drive in the final nail to send her away.
All because Stelle wanted to try and coax her into being a little more independent. A little bit more like her own person.
Guilt crashes into her like a wave. “No, I’m sorry. I know I annoy her on purpose a ton, but I actually didn’t mean to upset her this time, I swear! I–“
March reaches over and lightly flicks her on the forehead. Stelle stops her apology immediately in favor of rubbing her forehead and side-eyeing her girlfriend. The girl in question shakes her head and huffs out a fond little giggle that makes her heart skip a beat.
“Nope, nuh uh! I’ll hear none of that from you!” She scolds, but not without kindness. “I know you meant no harm and so does she. Probably. Evernight is… really bad at expressing herself, Stelle. I already told you once, we can’t let her get away with some of the things she says. Again, you’re doing me a big favor by not treating her like an enemy.”
On one hand, Stelle knows that March is right. On the other hand, she wishes she could figure out how to read Evernight better so things like this don’t happen in the future. Once is by chance, two is by coincidence, but this was strike three so it had already become a pattern.
“Ugh, that reminds me. I wasn’t there for what she said to Dan Heng, but she did make some kind of passing comment saying she might’ve “rubbed his scales the wrong way” before she left. Hopefully it wasn’t anything too bad.” March sighs, her whole body kind of just comically drooping with it.
“Might’ve?” Stelle snickers sarcastically, one brow raising.
March groans in exasperation, head falling into her hands. “I don’t know! I only know what she told me before she left to go sulk in the back of my head.”
“You actually weren’t here for most of this?”
March shrugs, “Nope! Trial and error. I wanted to give her some semblance of doing her own thing. She leaves me alone a lot so I tried doing the same with her.”
“Where did you even go then? Before you kind of just… jellyfished out but that, uh, that didn’t happen here?”
March stares at her with squinted eyes and furrowed brows as if she just asked her something asinine. “I don’t… know? It’s kinda like taking a nap except Evernight is still doing whatever it is she does when I’m not there.”
“Oh, cool. Built-in timeskip.” Stelle nods sagely as if she understands. She doesn’t.
“Please don’t call it that.” March complains. “Actually, forget what I told you in general.”
“Aye aye,” Stelle salutes her. There’s no chance she was going to forget that though.
March shakes her head at Stelle, only to bring back a beaming smile. “Okay, well, whatever! We need to go talk to Dan Heng now and make sure he hasn’t written a hate article on Evernight in the Express files yet.”
“Huh, we?”
Her girlfriend hooks an eager arm around hers and practically drags her out of her seat. “Yup!” She pops the ‘p’ for extra emphasis, “I don’t know what all Evernight said, so you have to fill me in and help me out on the way. Plus you evidently didn’t do anything to stop her if Dan Heng didn’t stay around. You have to talk to him as much as I do!”
Stelle lets herself get dragged along in a half-assed stumble. “What? I totally fended for him. Evernight just doesn’t quit once she gets going!”
“Uh huh. Was that before or after you had to remember to pick your jaw back up off the floor, miss handsome lovergirl?” March teases with a wink that causes Stelle to flush scarlet from embarrassment.
She was not supposed to know that. She was not supposed to know that.
“Wh–She told you about that?! Also, my jaw wasn’t–“ March laughs in the middle of her slew of flustered words, “Hey! Stop that! You’re so cruel!” Stelle protests.
“Lovergirl, lovergirl~” March continues to tease in a singsong with a grin so bright that it’s nearly blinding. “What, do you like pink-haired girls or something?”
She yanks March directly into her chest and ruffles the top of her pink head of hair. March lets out an indignant squawk amidst her giggling. Stelle sneaks in a quick kiss to her scalp without ceasing her roughhousing. “Huh, I don’t think so.” She says while trying really hard to not start snickering again over the tint of red that spread to March’s ears. “What gave you that idea?”
“You–“ March huffs, only for a mischievous glint to light her eyes. She narrowly avoids knocking against Stelle’s chin as she plants her own chaste kiss onto her cheek. “You’re awfully lucky that two of them like you back then.”
Stelle could’ve sworn that a tinge of scarlet sparked in March’s gaze, but it was gone before she could be sure of it.
“Uh, was that…?” Stelle tentatively asks anyway with the slightest tilt of her head.
March rolls her eyes fondly and shakes her head. “Had to get the last word in, I guess. Didn’t get to ask her though. I don’t think she’s done sulking.”
Despite the intention, it’s enough to partially sour her mood on the spot.
Of course. Leave it to her to once again pop up with mixed signals in her messages. She thinks with a muted sigh. Stelle removes her hands from March’s hair in favor of slipping one down to hold her hand. March’s fingers easily fit in between hers, but not without concern etching onto her face.
“What’s the matter, Stelle? Did I miss something important?” March places her other hand overtop of their clasped ones.
“Nope. Just thinking about Evernight again, that’s all,” Stelle mumbles.
March nods her head and taps her thumb gently against the back of Stelle’s hand. She doesn’t want to keep talking about her when Evernight is not here. Alternatively, March at least deserves to know what she’s thinking about her own counterpart. Especially considering it’s her feelings dropped somewhere in this mess.
Stelle scrunches her nose. All she can think about is Evernight pretending to return any sort of affection only to lash out like a cornered animal at the flip of a switch. “She doesn’t make sense. She does one thing then contradicts herself in the next like with what she literally just said to me through you. I don’t know what she wants with me. It’s… confusing. She’s confusing.”
“Oh,” March says softly. Her grip instinctively tightens on Stelle’s hand. “She… uh. I don’t really–“
“No no, don’t worry about it. It’s not your responsibility to decipher whatever is going on with her for me! I was just airing out my thoughts.” Stelle interjects.
March shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. I just don’t think she knows either.” She laughs, but it sounds more like a nervous giggle. “She’s conflicted. That’s the best way I can describe it, or at least, that’s what it feels like. She doesn’t talk about herself a lot. Trust me, I’ve tried to get her to almost any chance I get.”
“That tracks,” Stelle hangs her head for a second, “I don’t know if she told you everything earlier, but she got all pissed off at me in the first place because I wanted her to be honest about how she sees me. How she sees… anyone, really.” She definitely wasn’t happy about it even a little bit. To be fair, she was trying to ask someone who didn’t physically have a mind of their own to have a mind of their own.
March closes her eyes and furrows her brow. It used to be a telltale sign that she’s thinking, but now it could be a few other options. A pang of anxiety shoots straight through her chest. Did she say something wrong? Did Evernight resurface again? Did–
Pink and blue eyes bring her brain screeching to a halt.
“It’s my fault, really.”
Stelle nearly lets go of her hand out of surprise, but instead doubles down by reaching to grab her other one. “What? No it’s not.”
“It is though,” March gently pushes her other hand away in favor of clutching a hand over her own heart. “Evernight cares about me a lot, and I care about you a lot. She wants to make me happy, but that means she has to sort herself out enough to get along with you. That’s where it gets kinda confusing.”
“Wouldn’t that make it my fault too then? You can’t take the fall for just being yourself. That’s like saying it’s your fault because you exist.”
“It’s my body and my memories that come with it, Stelle.” A forlorn smile turns the corner of her mouth. “I know she’s capable of feeling her own emotions, but I think she pays way too much attention to mine. You saw how she gets when my feelings are too much for her to deal with.”
Understatement of the century. She thinks icily. Stelle has definitely been involved with most of Evernight’s incidents, and she doesn’t just mean Amphoreus even if that was the worst thing to ever happen between them.
The original takeover led to March getting booted from her own body while Stelle got shoved off her own bed in a fit of jealousy. Another incident ended in her taking Stelle’s hand and placing it against her own cheek. The same contradictory behavioral pattern when she found her in the parlor car after a bout of nightmares. Evernight keeps trying to mirror what she saw in March’s memories after she and March settled the original incident. The words she spoke were loving by definition yet obsessive by design.
Of course she doesn’t actually like you. Evernight is not March 7th. The traitorous part of her mind prods right where it aches. All you’re doing is feeding into the delusion that Evernight wants you to perceive.
She thinks of March, the light of her life since the day they first met. An irreplaceable treasure that she’d give everything to protect. Then to Evernight, a reflection in a shattered mirror that only hopes to keep the original image together. She doesn’t perceive herself as anything else, only as a shadow trailing behind March’s radiant light.
Everything Evernight did, she did because of March. Not because of Stelle, and definitely not because of herself. No one else was a factor in the equation. She knew this was a possibility already. Especially from the way Evernight kept forcing herself into uncomfortable affection every time she started to get frustrated with Stelle. It doesn’t make it hurt any less hearing it straight from March.
It’s manipulation. It’s deception. Not even just with her and March, but with Evernight herself.
I don’t want her to feel forced into loving me. Stelle wants to tell March, but all that slips free is a low “Yeah, I get it.” She masks the building nausea sinking into her stomach like a stone with her usual toothy grin. “It’s alright, I’m sure she’ll come around. We just gotta stick it out for a bit, so neither of us should be too hard on ourselves over it.”
March squeezes her hand and stares at her for a few seconds longer than she thinks is necessary. Stelle has to fight to not shrink under her scrutinizing gaze. March doesn’t need to have her plights added on top of everything else she’s been dealing with. Apparently it works well enough as March sighs in momentary defeat. “Enough about her for now. Let’s just go see Dan Heng already. I was only half-joking about him writing that article!”
She’ll take the switch in topic and run with it. Besides, she doubts March knows how to process the implications behind Evernight’s problem anyway. It was a conversation for another day no matter how dreaded it may be.
“Sure, just maybe don’t mention the word “lizard” or else he might get the wrong idea and kick us both out.” Stelle offers flippantly.
“Huh? Seriously, what did I even miss?”
Stelle doesn’t answer. Instead, she opts to snicker while tugging March along by the hand towards the sliding door to the passenger car.