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Cleo awoke to the sensation of not being able to breathe. In all fairness, vampires don't NEED to breathe, so they'd be fine. But it still felt uncomfortable and was a jarring way to wake up. They shove Oscar off their face with a grunt of annoyance.
"Stupid bloody cat. My face isn't your pillow!"
She hisses out in a whisper, trying not to wake Pearl beside her. Technically neither of them really needed sleep, but Pearl found it comforting and preferred sleeping next to Cleo. Cleo gazes down at their beautiful girlfriend, fast asleep. Cleo leaves Pearl to rest a bit longer and goes to the room they've made into their "kitchen", of sorts. Not like they prepare meals in the traditional sense, but Pearl found it reminded her of home to have a room like this. Cleo opens up where they store their blood and takes out a bottle. Animal blood, obviously. Pearl's never tasted human blood and Cleo never intends to do so ever again. So they keep chickens and goats and pigs. Occasionally they'll hunt, but they're both careful to leave the wilderness be as much as possible so that the animals can repopulate after so many were killed during the few weeks of the coven in Oakhurst. As much as they love Scott and Shelby and all the rest of them nowadays, those vampires really did a number on the local wildlife. Cleo turns as they hear Pearl's footsteps coming down the stairs. Cleo smiles at the sight of her, hair messy, eyes still blurred from sleepiness, yawning and letting out that cute sound she always makes when she yawns and stretches. Absolutely adorable in Cleo's eyes, everything about her is.
"Morning, puppy"
"Cleoooooo, I told you, I'm not a puppy"
"Yes yes, you're a VERY scary wolf"
"That makes it sound like you don't mean it!"
"Nooooo, why would I EVER be sarcastic?! It's me! I'm always very genuine all the time and would NEVER call you a puppy"
Pearl huffs and sits at the counter. She makes a grabbing motion with her hand at the blood, and Cleo hands her a bottle.
"We're running low, Pearl. Would you mind-"
"On it! Just let me finish breakfast"
Pearl has taken on the job of getting the blood from the livestock. For reasons Pearl's never been told, Cleo has an aversion to killing livestock. Pearl has never pressed about it, after all, they have eternity together. She's sure Cleo will tell her when she's ready. It's only been about a year since the two were left as Oakhurst's guardians. They have time. Pearl finishes up and grabs their empty bottles. While Pearl goes outside to do her job, Cleo heads to their library, or the start of one. Over time they'll be sure to collect more books, but they're happy with what they have. She sits at her desk and takes out her diary, full of letters to her mother and more recently, Legs. They smile as they think about their loved ones and start on another letter to the Doc. After that letter is done, she starts one to her mother. As they talk about their new life with Pearl and Oscar and their friends off exploring the world, they start to cry. She doesn't deserve this, what has she done to deserve this life? The Doc is dead, her mother is dead, Martyn and Ren and others she still feels bitter towards, but deep down wishes they hadn't died. How can Cleo sit here, living the life they all deserve but she doesn't. They haven't even told Pearl the truth yet, about how many they've killed. She lost track of how many, she'd have to do the math on it. They hesitate, but they have to know. They take out a piece of paper and work, at least one person every day for 80 years...29,120. Cleo has killed 29,120 people. And Pearl doesn't know. Pearl who kills those who kill others. Pearl who hunts monsters. Pearl who Cleo loves. Pearl who Cleo couldn't live with disappointing. They stare at the number for god knows how long until they feel a hand on their shoulder.
"Hey roomie, you alright?"
"Y-yeah, I'm fine Pearl, just thinking."
"What's that number?"
"...oh, it's nothing."
"Cleo, it doesn't seem like nothing...I'm not gonna make you tell me but-"
"It's people."
"...huh?"
"29,120 people"
"That's a lot. What do you mean?"
"It's how many people I've killed."
"...you're pulling my leg"
"Do I LOOK, like I'm joking, Pearl?!"
"...w-wha- how? Why? When?!"
Cleo can't bear to look at Pearl, can't bring herself to see the hurt in her eyes or maybe even the sword being drawn. Her voice cracks as she keeps going
"I was adopted by a vampire at a very young age, my mother. She was high ranking in a vampire coven. They didn't kill people, at least not often, because they had goats. I lived as normal a life as I could until I was 13."
"What happened then?"
"My mother found out about a vampire in a nearby city who had started a blood cult. He knew that if he left the coven alone, they would stake him. So...he took over, and I was forced to watch my mother burn alive, as she was forced to watch him...pour his own blood down my throat."
"...I don't understand"
"Have you ever heard of a vampire thrall?"
Pearl shakes her head
"It means a human that has consumed vampire blood. They don't own their souls, their master does. They also age much slower. I was forced to drink that man's blood, and once I was his thrall, I was under his control. Disobeying was extraordinarily painful."
"Cleo...I'm so sorry, but...that doesn't explain the numbe-"
"As a part of my mother's "punishment", I had to kill one human every day. At least. They kept humans as livestock and I was forced to take care of them, until I killed them. Pearl, when I got to Oakhurst, I was already 94."
"..."
"Either say something, or stake me already."
"What? Stake you?! Why would I do that?"
"Because you kill monsters that hurt people. I've killed so many people, I can't-"
"No, you didn't. He did. He used you as a weapon. And I won't stop until I find him and end him for what he's-"
"He's already dead."
"Oh. Good."
"Pearl, I'm a monster, I've done so many horrible things, please just get it over with."
"Cleo, love, look at me"
Cleo doesn't, staring down at the number.
"Cleo, please"
Cleo slowly turns around, Pearl's eyes are full of nothing but sympathy and love.
"It's okay, it's not your fault."
"But it is! I could've resisted more, I could've tried to stop myself, I could've-"
"You were a kid! You were only a child, and even when you weren't, at that point you had been there so long you didn't know any other life. It's not your fault."
Cleo buries their face into Pearl's shoulder, their body racked with sobs as they cling to Pearl like she's all they have. The two stand there for a while, holding each other. Cleo doesn't remember much of what happens next, only that they end up cuddled on a couch next to a fireplace. The blazing heat is comforting and bright as long as Cleo doesn't think too hard about fires and their mother. Cleo is laid under a blanket with her head on Pearl's chest, her hand in Cleo's hair gently brushing through it and twirling the white locks around her finger. Cleo doesn't need to breathe, doesn't need to sleep. But in that moment, being held and comforted and loved, she takes a deep breath, and drifts off in Pearl's arms.