Chapter Text
You may ask me how I ended up in this situation, in an old building, stained with bright yellow blood, in a cursed body, with three corpses of winged creatures wearing demonic masks around me, and hearing an evil laugh in my mind, and I will completely ignore that question.
Especially considering that I really need to hide these so-called corpses before anyone notices them; after all, things could get reeeeeally bad if they found out about a Sinner that kills exorcists without any difficulty.
So let's start by removing these planks. Luckily, the one speaking to you has super strength, so this isn't a very big task. Unluckily, despite that said super strength starting to really dig a grave deep enough so it won't be found by accident isn't that easy.
After all, my claws weren't exactly made for digging, so this might take a while.
With the hole in the ground finally dug, and large enough to fit three bodies minus the wings which I will remove and place beneath said bodies, I will clean up all this blood with some cloth found around the house.
The used fabric goes straight to the grave too; it's important that I get rid of all traces if I want to keep this little... massacre hidden.
Now all that's left is to close the grave and burn my poor house to ashes so that no one notices the missing floorboards. If I'm lucky, some Overlord will take these ruins and build something on top of the rubble.
After doing those two things, I wander the streets looking for some... work, preferably not a bad one, and especially not in the adult entertainment industry...
From a distance I can already hear an explosion, ugh, of course these idiots can't wait even a few hours after the extermination to start a territorial war, couldn't they?
Calm down, Spider, calm down. Getting angry won't solve your problem of being homeless, the noise of fights and territorial disputes, and the horrible smell of these decaying streets full of rotting corpses, which are affecting your sensitive ears and nostrils.
It's only going to make things worse, come on, I need a distraction. Isn't there a TV store nearby? It'll be incredibly uncomfortable, but I'm always uncomfortable, and maybe there's something at least somewhat interesting on right now? Anything to distract me from my personal hell, anyway.
When I get there, they're talking about a territorial war... why am I not surprised? Well, since we're already here, it doesn't hurt to pay attention.
"...That's right, Tom. After the recent extermination, many areas are now open for grabs." She makes a gasping motion as she says this, and I wonder if she says the same thing every year... The camera shifts to a fight between a white cyclops demon battling a red and black snake and... eggs?? "Demons all over hell are already duking it out to gain new territory." The white demon broke one of the eggs and threw what looks like a kind of bomb inside, then returned it to the snake.
"Those two seems to really be going with all"
"Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail for that hotspot" She... really ate a tooth and a nail?
"And I'd sure like to nail her hotspot" Well, at least he's not too explicit.
"Haha you are a limp dick jackass, Tom"
Oh she looks mad
"Or should I say—" she grabs a mug and pours its contents, which look particularly hot, onto her co-host's lap. "No dick" He doubles over in pain and whispers with a suffering expression, "Not again." And I really wouldn't want to be in his place right now...
She continues as if nothing had happened, and it wasn't possible to hear her partner's groans of pain in the background. "Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of hell's own head honcho, who's here to discuss her brand new passion project," she says this while an image of the aforementioned princess appears beside her; the other presenter is still groaning on the side
"All that and more after the break," she says as she smashes the glass in her hand; is she annoyed by the whining or making a joke? We'll never know. "Suck it up, you little bi—" she finally lost her patience with her partner, it seems.
Well, that's curious. I'd never heard of the hell's princess before this. Not that it matters, considering that despite feeling like a long time, I've only been here for a very short time period, especially considering the age of most demons around here.
But I didn't even know there was a princess...
Ah, the show's back. And the so-called princess is talking about extermination, overpopulation, violence... it seems to be evolving into something... and when she finally gets to the point, it's all about... redemption? I really couldn't help but laugh when I heard something so nonsensical.
This is so stupid it's not even possible. We've already wasted our chance to go to heaven on nothing, no chance we could try again, no chance we deserve to try again, she at least even have a plan??
Or does she intend to dress up murderers and rapists in pretty clothes and expect us to act accordingly? How stupidly naive that idea is.
Hmm, my spider-sense is tingling... not too much though, dangerous but not directly aggressive towards me... however, the show is too interesting for me to simply leave because of an Overlord who's taking a stroll down this sad and decaying street.
Back on TV, however, I heard someone curse at the princess and get punched quite hard; it's easy to hear because the room is very quiet after that exchange.
She seems a little sad for a few seconds, until she has an idea... Is she going to sing??
I think if I try hard enough I can hear her song from here...
And if I thought she was stupid and innocent before, now I'm absolutely certain, this girl doesn't even have a plan. The princess only has a hotel and a dream; I doubt she's even had a guest yet...
And as soon as the music ends, everyone laughs at her. I mean, I know she doesn't even have a plan and that her actions are practically a joke, without adding or taking anything, but do they really have to laugh in her face like that? I kind of feel sorry for her, for the complete public humiliation she's going through, of course.
Ah, but it seems someone actually got into this? I'm impressed. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge all the souls in this hell, which is sorely lacking in fire and match by the way, as evil and without any chance of becoming better.
Aaaaand no, I should be even quicker to judge all the souls in this cursed place as rotten and irreparable, it seems.
Man, that was the shortest life bluff I've ever seen. She just used it, and coincidentally, Angel Dust has already been caught messing things up. It's almost a surprise...
Hah, it seems the princess offended the presenter... and they started fighting, now that's the fun i came here for. At least they're not laughing at the princess anymore.
Heh, and the guy with the mask, Tom, right? Somehow he's on fire, fun.
Ah, I knew a TV could provide enough enter-
[Kh dNvu h yWtts] You already started with the demands, you don't even say hi Merphy? [D xir io yRTEX ZcOVy XJAE PWsYmxh?] That you would leave me alone if I used it? [... KVI YIGUIILD TSYlIK UI sJH gVXOTtIO TZGN RIBKM ST MCE RYVvAsPYWB] Oh, but it's not, don't worry about that, I remember my place very well. Now, about the hotel? I really wouldn't be very good at pretending to seek redemption for very long. [TUhNS IYVzERH OWyXT RxEChG BW ZtTI DTPLN-PI YZKAG] . . . [TuHRrXBUw?] Yes understood [Po s FTcWVZ? NPv OgvUIRtHT PGFS XX GZOeVGvXI HBIY? TB TvGUkVQ DT VZUS yF Kq] of course you are...
Well, how lovely it seems my damned curse will be keeping an eye on me from now on, and knowing him, that probably means constant orders... But on the other hand, it seems I actually got a job... In the same place I was making fun of less than a minute ago... Hoooow great! Haha, this must be some kind of divine punishment for killing those angels...
Well, in that case, my next stop should be the Happy Hotel...
"A̷͙ͭͫ̕ṇ̤͛̒̍ḑ̴̞͛̒ w̦̺̐̐͟ḣ̖̻͛̓o̯̱̊͊͢ c͕͗ͤ̕̕o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇l̙͖̑̾ͣḑ̴̞͛̒ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ b̬͖̏́͢ẹ̿͋̒̕, ḿ̬̏ͤͅy҉̃̀̋̑ f̵͖̜̉ͅẹ̿͋̒̕l̙͖̑̾ͣl̙͖̑̾ͣo̯̱̊͊͢w̦̺̐̐͟ s̠҉͍͊ͅỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ṇ̤͛̒̍ẹ̿͋̒̕r̴̨̦͕̝?" A distorted voice pulls Spider from his thoughts. Uh? ... Wait... Where is everyone? When was I alone with the radio demon?? Oh, this is bad, this guy is bad news if half the stories about him are true. And what level of BAD LUCK is this? This bastard was missing since before my death and now I just run into him in front of a random TV?? HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE TVs!!!
"You... Are you talking to me?" Comes a hesitant question. Could I beat him if necessary?
"A̷͙ͭͫ̕ṇ̤͛̒̍ḑ̴̞͛̒ w̦̺̐̐͟ḣ̖̻͛̓o̯̱̊͊͢ ẹ̿͋̒̕l̙͖̑̾ͣs̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ w̦̺̐̐͟o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇l̙͖̑̾ͣḑ̴̞͛̒ I̍̅̀̎̊ b̬͖̏́͢ẹ̿͋̒̕ s̠҉͍͊ͅp̞̈͑̚͞ẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘ḳ̯͍̑ͦỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ w̦̺̐̐͟ỉ͔͖̜͌t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓?" The radio demon replies, sounding amused. Mephisto said I'm powerful, but I've never fought an overlord before and I don't know what my chances are against one.
"I don't know, maybe the voices in your head? A poor guy who decided to run away as soon as one of the worst demons in hell tried to talk to him?" Spider replies sarcastically. Okay, okay, it's better to avoid a fight altogether instead of thinking about how to beat him; this might not end well for me.
Spider-sense has heightened; no imminent attack yet, but the chance of one has increased.
Well, I'm doing a great job of avoiding a fight right now...
"A̷͙ͭͫ̕ḣ̖̻͛̓, ỉ͔͖̜͌t̲̂̓ͩ̑ s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ẹ̿͋̒̕ḿ̬̏ͤͅs̠҉͍͊ͅ ḿ̬̏ͤͅy҉̃̀̋̑ r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕p̞̈͑̚͞ư̡͕̭̇t̲̂̓ͩ̑ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ỉ͔͖̜͌o̯̱̊͊͢ṇ̤͛̒̍ p̞̈͑̚͞r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕c͕͗ͤ̕̕ẹ̿͋̒̕ḑ̴̞͛̒ẹ̿͋̒̕s̠҉͍͊ͅ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕, b̬͖̏́͢ư̡͕̭̇t̲̂̓ͩ̑ I̍̅̀̎̊'v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕ ṇ̤͛̒̍ẹ̿͋̒̕v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕r̴̨̦͕̝ s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ẹ̿͋̒̕ṇ̤͛̒̍ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ ā̤̓̍͘r̴̨̦͕̝o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ṇ̤͛̒̍ḑ̴̞͛̒. C̵͉͋̔͞o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇l̙͖̑̾ͣḑ̴̞͛̒ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍t̲̂̓ͩ̑r̴̨̦͕̝o̯̱̊͊͢ḑ̴̞͛̒ư̡͕̭̇c͕͗ͤ̕̕ẹ̿͋̒̕ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇r̴̨̦͕̝s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕l̙͖̑̾ͣf̵͖̜̉ͅ?" He still seems amused. I wonder if he always seems amused, but now there's a hint of irritation in his voice.
"Spider, and it's no surprise after all I'm not exactly remarkable and I've only been here for some very short time." I should leave soon, the longer I stay near him the greater the chance he'll decide to start a fight. "Well... if it doesn't bother you—" Uh, what's his name again? "—Mr. Radio Demon, I'm kind of in a hurry." Spider tries to sound friendly and starts backing away in a random direction.
"Ỵ̛̖͋͢o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ẹ̿͋̒̕ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ḑ̴̞͛̒ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍t̲̂̓ͩ̑ẹ̿͋̒̕r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕s̠҉͍͊ͅt̲̂̓ͩ̑ẹ̿͋̒̕ḑ̴̞͛̒ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ỉ͔͖̜͌s̠҉͍͊ͅ Hͥ̽ͣ̃̔ā̤̓̍͘p̞̈͑̚͞p̞̈͑̚͞y҉̃̀̋̑ Hͥ̽ͣ̃̔o̯̱̊͊͢t̲̂̓ͩ̑ẹ̿͋̒̕l̙͖̑̾ͣ p̞̈͑̚͞l̙͖̑̾ͣā̤̓̍͘c͕͗ͤ̕̕ẹ̿͋̒̕, ā̤̓̍͘r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ ĝ̽̓̀͑o̯̱̊͊͢ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ t̲̂̓ͩ̑o̯̱̊͊͢ ĝ̽̓̀͑ỉ͔͖̜͌v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕ ỉ͔͖̜͌t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ā̤̓̍͘ t̲̂̓ͩ̑r̴̨̦͕̝y҉̃̀̋̑?" The tone of voice suggests a bit of curiosity and interest, and Alastor hopes he was right in his guess.
"Not really, I thought maybe they were hiring..." Spider remains friendly but doesn't want to reveal too much information.
"O̖̼ͩ͌͐ḣ̖̻͛̓, t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑'s̠҉͍͊ͅ ĝ̽̓̀͑r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑, s̠҉͍͊ͅo̯̱̊͊͢ ỉ͔͖̜͌t̲̂̓ͩ̑ l̙͖̑̾ͣo̯̱̊͊͢o̯̱̊͊͢ḳ̯͍̑ͦs̠҉͍͊ͅ l̙͖̑̾ͣỉ͔͖̜͌ḳ̯͍̑ͦẹ̿͋̒̕ w̦̺̐̐͟ẹ̿͋̒̕'r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ ĝ̽̓̀͑o̯̱̊͊͢ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ t̲̂̓ͩ̑o̯̱̊͊͢ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ẹ̿͋̒̕ s̠҉͍͊ͅā̤̓̍͘ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ p̞̈͑̚͞l̙͖̑̾ͣā̤̓̍͘c͕͗ͤ̕̕ẹ̿͋̒̕. Hͥ̽ͣ̃̔o̯̱̊͊͢w̦̺̐̐͟ ā̤̓̍͘b̬͖̏́͢o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇t̲̂̓ͩ̑ w̦̺̐̐͟ẹ̿͋̒̕ ĝ̽̓̀͑o̯̱̊͊͢ t̲̂̓ͩ̑o̯̱̊͊͢ĝ̽̓̀͑ẹ̿͋̒̕t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ẹ̿͋̒̕r̴̨̦͕̝?" That smile really doesn't inspire confidence. Damn it, please let me not be stuck with this psychopath indefinitely...