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Mia was fifteen when her brother disappeared.
It didn’t take long for everyone to stop putting up missing posters. It didn’t take long for everyone to start talking about him in the past tense.
It didn’t take long for everyone to act like Elliot was already dead.
They never found a body. How could everyone just act like he was gone? Like—gone gone?
Mia knew. She knew Elliot was out there somewhere. He had to be. She didn’t know what it meant if he wasn’t.
Elliot was supposed to watch her graduate high school. They were supposed to go to each other’s weddings. They grew up together… They were supposed to grow old together. That’s what siblings did.
Every morning she expected to see Elliot’s cheery face when she left her room. He was such a morning person. Always had way too much energy for seven a.m. She expected to find him at the stove, whipping up some new recipe that he found online. Or an old recipe that Dad taught him years ago. No matter what he cooked, it was always delicious…
Mia was sixteen when her brother came back.
But… not all of him came back.
It was like a part of him was still stuck in that… realm he was in. Mia didn’t really understand all of it. She honestly zoned out whenever someone explained it to her. All she knew was that some entity trapped Elliot somewhere, and… he got killed. Over and over and over again. He was there for almost an entire year. Dying every single day.
“But I’m fine now,” he said once. “I’m back now.”
Bullshit. Elliot wasn’t fine now. How could he be? When he smiled, his eyes didn’t sparkle like they used to. His voice seemed a little flatter, and his movements seemed a little slower.
And then there were the flashbacks... Was that the right word for them? Sometimes he forgot he was back home and thought he was still in that cursed place. He would scream and beg someone only he could see to not kill him.
When he got like that, their father always stepped in. He told Mia to stay back and coaxed Elliot out of his delirium. Mia would run to her room and clasp her hands over her ears so she couldn’t hear Elliot’s cries. Usually she’d cry herself but she made sure to dry her tears before facing her family again. Elliot and her parents already had enough to deal with. They didn’t need to worry about her.
Eventually, after begging their father almost constantly, Elliot started working again. Said he needed the distraction. Preventing Elliot from working was like preventing a fish from swimming.
Over time, things started to feel a bit like they used to. Elliot went to therapy, and it seemed to be helping. His episodes were becoming less frequent, and that familiar glint was returning to his eyes.
It felt like Elliot was slowly returning to her.
Mia was sleeping in her brother’s room, as she often did nowadays. She was convinced that if she took her eyes off Elliot for even a second, then she would wake up in the morning and he would be missing again.
She made herself a little makeshift bed on the ground next to Elliot’s bed and had been listening to his steady breathing for a few hours by now.
You hear that, Mia? He’s still here. He’s still alive.
She forced her eyes shut. At this rate she’d be up all night. She was crabby enough in the morning when she did get enough sleep.
You’re not going to fall asleep by listening to him all night. Just stop paying atten—
A whimper.
Mia frowned. Elliot must’ve been having a nightmare. Not that they weren’t common, but he hadn’t been getting them as often lately. She could only hope that the bad dream he was having wasn’t too… well… bad.
He whimpered again, louder. He then began to thrash around.
“No!” he cried out. “No no no no no!”
Mia was immediately at Elliot’s side. She reached out… but then paused. Her hand awkwardly hovered over his form. She didn’t know if it was better to shake him awake or try to settle him down.
If she woke him up, he might not be able to fall back asleep. But Mia didn’t know if she’d even be able to settle him down. In any case, she didn’t want him to stay trapped in this nightmare.
She ended up not having to make a decision, as Elliot suddenly shot up with a wail. His eyes as wide as saucers, and his chest heaving up and down.
“Elliot! It’s okay, you had a bad dream,” Mia said.
Elliot slowly turned towards her. For a few moments, he just stared blankly at her. It was almost like… he didn’t recognize who was in front of him. Didn’t recognize her.
“Elliot?”
“No!” Elliot yelled. In an instant he jumped off the bed and scrambled into a far corner of the room. “No, get away from me!”
“W-what do you mean? It’s me… It’s Mia. You’re not in the nightmare anymore.”
“No! No, please don’t hurt me!!” He frantically gripped his hair and slid down the wall. He brought his legs to his chest and began rocking back and forth.
It dawned on Mia. Elliot was having an episode—right in front of her. She silently cursed at herself for always hiding whenever he got like this. Her father had told her what to do if this happened, but she didn’t pay attention at the time.
She had to be the worst sister ever.
“What you’re seeing isn’t real! You’re not there anymore! You’re home!” Mia’s vision blurred with tears. She wanted to run over to Elliot and wrap her arms around him. That would almost certainly cause him even more panic.
“They’re all dead. I-I didn’t heal them in time. I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die,” Elliot mumbled the last part to himself over and over again. Hearing the word ‘die’ constantly made Mia want to puke.
She risked a step forward, and Elliot immediately tensed up. She stopped.
“Get away! Get away from me!!”
“Elliot, it’s Mia! It’s your sister! I would never hurt you! You’re safe, I promise!”
“No! Go away!”
Mia opened her mouth to speak, even though she had no idea what she’d even say. But someone beat her to it. A voice came from the doorway.
“Elliot?”
“D-dad!” Mia exclaimed. “He’s having an episode!”
“Mia, you’re too close to him. Take a step back. You’re scaring him.”
‘You’re scaring him.’
That sentence alone made her tear up more. She held back the sob wanting to escape her throat and stepped back.
“Elliot.” Their father’s voice was deep and firm and grounding. He walked into the room but still kept a fair amount of distance between him and Elliot. “Look at me, son. Focus on me.”
Elliot was still pulling his hair and rocking back and forth, but his eyes met their father’s.
Mia didn’t know what happened next. She couldn’t watch this anymore. She couldn’t look at Elliot anymore.
She ran off to her bedroom.
Mia stared at Elliot while he ate breakfast. She found herself observing him all morning. He was back to his regular old self, like last night didn’t even happen. She didn’t know if he ever remembered his episodes. He never talked about them, and Mia definitely never brought it up.
“Hm?” Elliot caught her gaze. “Do I have food on my face or something?”
“No. Sorry, I’m just tired.” She forced herself to look away from him.
“Well, try getting untired. Your bus will be here soon.”
Mia huffed at that. The last thing she wanted to do was to go to school today. She half-considered faking being sick so she could stay home. But no, she didn’t want anyone to fuss over her.
“Actually, you should probably start heading over to the bus stop now. You don’t want to miss the bus. Again,” Elliot told her. “You could always eat your toast as you’re walking over there.”
“Yeah. That’s true…” She sighed and grabbed her backpack.
“Do you have everything? Notebooks, folders, your math textbo—”
“Yes, I’ve got it all.” She snatched her toast, made her way over to the door, and slipped her shoes on.
“I’ll see you later then, sis.”
Mia stared at Elliot again. He had that familiar smile plastered on his face. She suddenly threw herself against him. Hugging him tight and burying her face in his shoulder.
Elliot laughed. “Woah, you’re never cuddly in the morning.” He hugged her back and pulled her closer.
“I love you, Elli.”
“I love you too,” Elliot responded softly. “Now can you please get your toast off me? You’re getting butter on my shirt.”
“Sorry!” Mia quickly let go, noticing the sad butter-less spot now on her toast. “Bye. See you.”
“Bye!”
As she walked to the bus stop, she tried not to think too hard about last night. The memory wouldn’t leave her mind, though. Elliot needed her, and all she did was frighten him even more. And then proceed to abandon him. Again.
She didn’t know what all happened to him in that realm. Nor did she want to know. She just wanted him to be okay.
At least he was back… mostly back. Things would never return to the way they used to be, but her brother was here. Her brother was alive and safe.
She shook her head and focused on getting to the bus stop.