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Night only got darker as Petra desperately stirred through different sleeping positions, each one getting more desperate than the last. Her bed was not uncomfortable compared to other places she’s had to sleep, but tonight, the bed wasn’t the problem.
The mimic purple-ish glow of the night that peaked through the blinds of her dingy bedroom had tipped something in her brain as she stared at the bleak ceiling. Her head already pounded from the reoccurring nightmare she previously woken up from, but the feeling of her throat closing from a surge of panic made her entire body ache worse than before.
Her shifts became more labored as she could’ve sworn her muscles were failing her again. Breathing became impossible as a weight stood on her chest, aware of the mass surrounding her lungs as it tightened.
Her trembling hands suddenly shot up in front of her face to inspect her fingers under the dim light. The pale of her palms moving and shifting in the dark mimicked that disgusting violet hue she saw in her nightmares every night.
She felt she was decaying again.
Petra could’ve sworn the pain of her rotting bone marrow was happening all over again as she gagged on a breath, unable to figure out how to inhale. A rush of adrenaline plagued her reasoning and caused her to shoot up in bed, scanning the rest of her body with urgency.
More purple shapes warped into her skin as a weakness squeezed her muscles. This might’ve been the worst night to wear shorts and a tank top to bed, the bare skin continuously pulling her eyes back in panic to notice more hallucinations.
Her body worked faster than her scattered brain and caused her to throw the twisted covers away from her and crawl out of bed. Uneven footing made her stumble and grab for the nightstand next to her, another unfortunate mistake as her eyes landed on the decor on top of it.
A flashing alarm clock reminded Petra that she had been freaking out for much longer than usual, the time feeling like a taunt. She felt the 3 at the beginning of the timepiece trying to shift and move closer to her, like a hand pulling her into more distress at the lack of sleep. Her head only pounded further while she chose to ignore the red numbers, tumbling further away from the bright reminder in the dark space.
She had chosen to pick a sweatshirt off the floor, origins and cleanliness unknown, and push out of that nightmare while pulling the soft material over her head. Only once Petra knew the sweatshirt was successfully covering her presumed-rotting arms, she found the cool doorknob and practically fell into the hallway.
Creaking floorboards rang like gunshots in the silence of night, every factor of movement more overwhelming than the last.
She was surprised she hadn’t passed out by the pressure pressing into every possible inch of her being. Her entire body trembling as her breath repeatedly caught in her closed throat, head spinning as she was unsure if she was actually traversing down the hall or just losing her mind stationary.
Petra was about to lean onto Jesse’s bedroom door before she halted, numb fingers pausing on the wood as she swayed there a moment. Her original need for reality fizzed out as a new thought clouded.
She would rather die than have Jesse see her so broken and pathetic.
Petra quickly recoiled from the door, sputtering backward as if the wood burned her fingertips. Before she knew it, she had shifted and made her way into the living room as a new darkness pierced her wide eyes. Her weakening muscles strained against her desperate wobble of movement while she continued to search for a different relief from her mind.
The lack of light pollution left the cold living room close to pitch black, only moonlight dusting the space allowing Petra to barely see the space. She only knocked into a piece of furniture or two before staggering to the back door and opening it, surprised to find it unlocked.
She had no idea where she was going, but the cool air hitting her bare skin felt nice for a moment as she staggered through the door. Despite a dim lamp light still flickering above her, she unintentionally slammed into the railing of the creaky porch outside. A groan of distress left her as she bent over the reinforcement pathetically.
A slight relief washed over her at being out of the tightness of the house, convinced the walls were caving in on her before Petra reached the outside. But it was all quickly thrown out as the unnerving silence of the woods struck her ears. Dim path lights warded away mobs thankfully, though no night life currently wandered the nearby scenery with a strange stillness.
Her brain was immediately allowed more time to thrash against her skull, flashes of that Creator forsaken witherstorm unloading in her mind like a full round of poison tipped arrows. The memories of her numb palms and labored movements caused by a fatal disease plaguing her again.
She remembered her lack of regular breathing as she slid down, crouching with her hands clutched helplessly around the bars of the railing. Small gasps of air only came as she shook with a force she hadn’t felt before, her entire skeleton trembling uncontrollably.
In between panicked gasps, she dawned on how stupid the whole situation was. Her head hung low with shame as she choked on a breathless sob, a sickly cough leaving her as she barely contained her burning tears. How pathetic Petra was for allowing the idiotic hallucinations and flashbacks to render her so scared and overwhelmed.
A creak of hinges from behind her suddenly interrupted her thoughts as soft footsteps followed, pausing behind her. There was a hesitation that hung in the air as Petra held her breath, refusing to turn her head and face whoever had stumbled upon the sight of her huddled down like this.
“Petra?” A voice rang, gentleness in every syllable overpowering Petra’s senses. It was very clearly Jesse standing above her, the observation bringing in a colliding rush of fear and relief at her soft spoken call.
Petra immediately shook her head while she sunk further down to the floor. A strained sigh hammered her lungs before she swallowed hard, batting the stone in her throat along with her shame. “Don’t look.” She paused, scoffing at her desperate crack of a sentence before cautiously continuing with a forced chuckle. “I’m a wreck.”
Jesse let out a sigh of her own before appearing next to Petra. She lowered till she was sitting down next to the shuddering redhead, knees pulled up to her chest. The hero placed a palm over Petra’s forearm slowly, giving her a grounding pressure.
“You don’t have to be strong around me, y’know?”
Jesse’s comforting words were something the warrior was not ready for as she instantly snapped. Her body immediately lurched over as outrageous sobs racked her whole body. Her shaking only worsened as she instinctively leaned into the hero to find any comfort, tears burning her skin like acid.
Her breathing only got more labored as it weaved through her silent weeps. She was actively drowning in her own bottled up sorrow as Jesse instantly took notice of the ragged puffs of air that didn’t seem to reach her brain. The warrior was clearly battling with her own body and mind, only overwhelming herself further in front of the hero.
A kind hand reached out to gently pry Petra’s white knuckle from the rough wood, guiding her freckled hand towards Jesse. “Hey, try to copy me.” A tender whisper just barely audible caused the warrior to pause, noticing her palm was now flush against the other’s chest as her skin felt the soft material of Jesse’s shirt.
The rhythmic rise and fall was a type of control the warrior couldn’t get for a few painfully long moments, frustrated gasping still hammering her throat. It took time and the reassuring squeeze of the hero’s hand covering Petra’s to finally let her take a breath with minimal shudder. All of her shaking had subsided slightly as she finally had a grip of authority over her body to function somewhat normally.
She fell back to simply sit on the porch the same as Jesse after pulling her hand away, crossing her legs tailor style with shaking palms pressing into the floor behind her. She allowed a silence to hang in the air as a pathetic sniffle or two left her, embarrassment flooding her. She pushed a forced chuckle out again before sighing. “Sorry,” She paused before she realized she should clarify. Only then turning her head to meet the gaze that’s been burning into her. “For waking you up, I mean.”
Jesse’s sympathetic and worry laced eyes were so suffocating that Petra had to force herself not to look away, those brown puppy dog eyes tracing her with a care that left her skin crawling. The hero continued to stare as she pulled her lips into a thin line, hands falling to rest on her knees as she examined Petra. The lack of reply was starting to make the warrior nervous as she glanced away, not enjoying being looked at so closely.
“Is it nightmares? Or flashbacks?” She blurted with genuine concern as she glossed over the previous apology. “Well, I didn’t mean to assume. But usually those are the only things that get you at times like this, right?” Jesse’s added statement left the redhead with a scoff over being known so well.
Petra paused to stare at Jesse a moment, giving her a chance to notice the way her hair was slightly tossed from waking up to come to Petra’s aid, iconic red clip missing from her uneven bangs. She would’ve gotten lost in the sight like usual if the lump in her throat didn't grind against her vocal cords as she sighed in response, an exhaustion evident.
She shook her head slowly before muttering with a crack in the back of her voice. “It’s everything, Jesse. Flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations, you name it,” She paused to trace the wood grain of the porch with her eyes before continuing. “It’s exhausting, imagining you’re dying all over again every night.”
The warrior found the hero’s gaze again as she couldn’t even muster up a smile, a weakness gnawing at her the more she spoke. She scoffed at her vulnerability, feeling idiotic as she covered her true feelings with an empty shrug.
The hero only nodded along as she listened with empathy, leaning in and to lightly place her head on Petra’s shoulder. Her dark hair spilled over the stiff redhead without shame.
“I get it.” Jesse let the words hang before continuing with a bite of hesitation, tightly pulling her eyes shut. ”I couldn’t sleep at all after the day I lost Rueben.”
A genuine anguish spilled from her as the topic still seemed fresh despite how fast she claimed she moved on to not worry the others. Her usual ‘never stop moving’ attitude had dropped and left a slate of vulnerability that both the women were not used to.
“We’ll obviously that’s not the same as feeling like you’re dying every night.” She suddenly retreated, giving an awkward laugh before continuing. “But… feeling so powerless to your own brain, it’s exhausting.” She held up her hand, tracing unknown shapes in the air as she tried to form her sentence.
Petra felt her own heart pang with a mix of sorrow and understanding, nodding her head in acknowledgment. She laid her head over the hero’s in a silent reassurance as she continued to hyper-focus on the quiet voice.
Jesse gave a shift of recognition to Petra’s comfort as she resumed her confessions. “Especially fighting with the acceptance of Rueben being gone, it dropped me to my worst… I buried myself with the work in Beacon Town because I didn’t know what else to do.”
She paused. “If I lost you too that day, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me.”
The warrior shook her head with a strained sigh, ignoring her heart ripping into pieces. “I know, I get it.” She paused to slip her arm around Jesse’s waist, drawing her closer over the dull wood of the porch in a comforting squeeze. “The weight of being alive after so much torment, it was horrible.” A sharp, inward breath cut her throat when she shifted her tone to relate with the hero. “I mean, you’re right.”
She didn’t elaborate further for what felt like a million years, pausing to think as she stilled.
“I should’ve died that day, Jesse.”
The statement thickened the air, making night feel even darker as the both of them fell silent. The wind gently weaving through the grass created a calming shake of noise to fill in the silence for just a moment. Goosebumps ran up Petra’s legs as she stifled a shiver, unsure if it was from the cold or the fear of being exposed.
“Well, everyday I’m thankful you’re still here.” Jesse whispered, raw vulnerability in her words. “I mean, we made that promise we would stay together, right?”
Petra hummed in agreement as she nodded. “I wouldn’t let you get rid of me that easily.” A lighthearted chuckle followed as her original panic seemed unnecessary now. The soothing voice and comforting touch next to her was enough to feel whole again.
A silence surrounds them once again as the darkness shifted into a reassuring blanket that allowed them both to simply sit, only illuminated by the lit porch lantern. The warmth of Jesse coiled up at the warrior’s side dulled the nip of cold as Petra craved to stay on this rickety wooden porch forever.
However, she was pulled out of her thoughts as Jesse suddenly let out a verbal shiver, vibrating against Petra’s rib as she tucked her legs tightly against her chest. The cold was actually getting to her quite easily since she was only in pajama pants and a t-shirt.
The warrior raised an eyebrow as she sat up straight and leaned forward to meet Jesse’s gaze. “Too warm out here?” She murmured with a smile etching her lips.
The sarcastic retort made the hero roll her eyes, fighting her own small grin as she shook her head. “Yeah, I’m practically sweating.” She answered, letting out that sweet laugh that made Petra’s stomach turn, her brown eyes crinkling in the corners with sincerity.
The hero sighed as she pulled away from the warrior, leaving a hole in Petra’s side as the night air flooded the empty space. The warrior had to blink reality back into focus as she noticed Jesse standing up and brushing her pants off.
An outstretched hand appeared next to Petra’s head as the hero gave a hum. “I think we should get back inside, who knows what’s lurking out here other than the cold.” The same gentle smile hovered above the warrior as she crouched slightly, soft words wrapping around Petra’s ears.
Petra stared for a few moments too long, the sleepless beauty in front of her making her brain short circuit. The way those brown waves fell over her shoulders, framing her scarred face and determined eyes effortlessly. The sight could’ve killed the warrior if she didn’t remember to breathe.
A hiss of air left her lungs as she brushed off the heat over her cheeks. “Yeah, you’re right.” A surprisingly smooth agreement leaving her as she finally reached out to grab Jesse’s hand. She allowed the hero to haul her upward, both of them standing next to each other hand in hand.
Jesse nodded before shifting her palm to quickly interlace her fingers with Petra’s, turning to gently pull the warrior away from the creaking wood porch under them. A tender squeeze held Petra captive as she followed wherever Jesse silently insisted they go, chest warm with adoration as she was guided through the living room.
Jesse’s hand slipped away from Petra’s once they reached the congested hallway, standing between the doors that isolated their bedrooms. The warrior watched as Jesse shifted to place the same palm that held Petra’s hand against the knob of her bedroom door. The hero peeked over her shoulder carefully, barely seen in the dark corridor.
“Just wake me if you need anything, alright?” Her kind mumble pervaded the space with a following yawn. “I don’t want you losing any more sleep.”
Petra offered a reassuring smile as they locked eyes, giving a hum of conformation. “Yeah, will do.” She shifted from foot to foot, hesitant before continuing. “Thanks for, uh, being there.” She whispered, gaze trailing away as she awkwardly scratched the back of her neck.
The hero nodded with acknowledgment, “Of course Petra, you know I’ll always be here.”
The silence morphed into something unwelcoming again as soon as Jesse pushed open the door and stepped through the frame. Petra’s chest tightened with a new worry of being alone again as she had to force out a tight breath. Her body worked before her mind, attempting to escape the raw emotion that still quietly threatened her.
She didn’t even realize she had grabbed onto the hem of Jesse’s white shirt until the hero’s head swiveled back to look at her with raised eyebrows.
“Jesse, can I..” She trailed off, shaky words making her sound much more desperate than intended. “Is it okay if I— I don’t want to invade your space or anything but, uh..” Her jumbled sentences just continued as her knuckles curled a little tighter around the fabric. She had no idea what she was asking, but she just knew she couldn’t be isolated right now.
The hero paused, staring at the warrior with sympathetic confusion before slowly processing what she was painfully trying to ask. A sigh slipped through her lips as she gave a sleepy grin. Her own hand found Petra’s wrist, gently prying her knuckle away from the hero’s shirt and pulling her into her room silently.
The tight bedroom didn’t feel any better than the dark hallway, but it became ignorable with the determined grip over her wrist. Shapes of furniture could be made out with the gentle light peaking through the blinds as Jesse guided her again. Cracks of moonlight spilled over the floor and dusted the tossed bedsheets of Jesse’s bed.
When they reached the foot of the bed the hero let her fingers slip away, taking a few steps only to dive into the crumpled sheets. She sat up as she went through every pillow and gave it a gentle fluff before locking eyes with Petra once again. Jesse tilted her head, a crooked smirk catching the light just right.
“So are you going to join me or what?” She asked, patting the spot next to her with a muffled thud.
The sly statement left Petra paralyzed a moment, forgetting how to function as she stared at the woman so comfortably tucked under the crumpled duvet. A huff of defeat left her as she grumbled with a fake annoyance, trailing over to the bed.
She lifted the sheet to slip next to Jesse, laying on her side as the hero adjusted to mirror Petra’s position. They laid there quietly for a few suffocatingly long moments with a locked gaze, knees brushing against each other from the close proximity. Petra immediately became very aware of her breathing and movements.
Jesse outstretched an arm to suddenly brush the short, orange hair out of Petra’s eyes, that same sickeningly sweet smirk etching her face. “Still a big softie I see.” Her added whisper would’ve felt like mockery if the touch of her finger tips wasn’t so sincere and careful, running through the warrior's hair as if she was as fragile as glass.
A forced eyeroll was given in response, but Petra couldn’t help the quiet laugh that followed. “Shut up, you can’t decide that.” She scoffed before her sly smirk fell. A slate of sincerity emerged while examining the stunning woman in front of her.
With one quick movement, Petra suddenly reached out and pulled herself into Jesse’s warm embrace, arms wrapping over the brunette’s waist. She tucked her chin into the crook of the hero’s neck with a content sigh, not caring how ‘soft’ it made her look.
Jesse stiffened a moment, clearly shocked by Petra’s boldness. She gave a quiet, sweet laugh before interlacing her fingers into the warrior’s hair, continuing to shift through the locks gently as a reassurance.
Their banter quieted, silence filling the moonlit bedroom as sleep finally claimed both of them. A new, refreshing peace was present in each other’s scent as the night continued, problems non-existent as they slept centimeters apart.