Work Text:
"In front of me, you promised not to hold back any longer, did you not?"
Kishiar quivered, his red eyes twitching uncontrollably. He couldn't stop staring at Yuder—at the calm black gaze, the unwavering determination. At Yuder... his Yuder.
"I want every part of you, including your ugly side, Commander."
"Ah..." Kishiar exhaled.
He was utterly defeated. He wouldn’t—couldn’t—win. Not when Yuder looked at him with that terrifying, merciless acceptance.
"Tell me your heart, Commander. I will take all of it."
Kishiar felt something burst inside his chest. Something akin to joy, but also a miserable and wretched feeling. His hand clenched so hard his knuckles ached, yet the beautiful black-eyed man only watched him silently, unshaken. Waiting.
Night had already fallen deep. The headquarters had been still since their arrival from the castle. The silence felt heavy, pressing against the walls. Now, they found themselves in his office, sitting across from each other.
Kishiar glanced at Yuder, echoes of the earlier evening lingering in his mind. It was almost amusing how entertaining the Empire’s guests had become their mission, simply because the guest asked for Yuder—his “friend,” as the king called him. “Friend,” Kishiar mused, the word catching like a thorn.
The event had gone surprisingly well. King Ejain had come personally to inquire about Awakeners and the Cavalry, and they complied. They sat, talked, shared a small private banquet—the grand royal banquet would come later, once more delegations arrived.
Yuder came at the king’s request, and of course, as he always did, he answered everything with patience and sincerity. King Ejain consulted, questioned, and even asked Kishiar himself—after all, he was the Commander.
Yet throughout the evening, Kishiar felt the king’s subtle glances. He could decipher the same look he recognized in King Ejain’s lavender eyes, every time they rested on Yuder.
Then, uncontrollably, a vicious, suffocating thought clawed at his chest—ah, how Kishiar wished he could keep Yuder to himself. He wanted to lock him away, hide him from anyone who dared look at him, so Kishiar could have him only for himself.
The thought lasted only a heartbeat, yet the moment it surfaced, Yuder’s gaze snapped to him—as if he heard it. Since their bond had deepened, it was harder to hide the twisted feelings he tried to bury from Yuder perfectly. Was Yuder detecting that hideous thought?
And now, here they were. Yuder sat before him, demanding an answer and reminding him of their promise. Kishiar could deny nothing to the person he had always wanted.
"I'm jealous," he breathed—small, ruined, terrified of the truth leaving his mouth.
Yet, the moment they escaped, relief washed through him, like chains falling from his chest. So, Kishiar started talking more.
“It hurts to see him close to you. To see you with him.”
Kishiar kept talking, his voice low and airy.
“I know you don’t have any feelings for him, yet I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it.”
Kishiar clenched his fist. He felt a pang in his hand, and his breath stuttered in his throat. He lowered his red eyes, breaking away from that unwavering black gaze.
“I want to keep you to myself. Only mine.”
Kishiar sighed. He had always been able to control himself. He demonstrated exceptional patience and restraint from a young age. Yet, for everything related to Yuder, to his beloved Yuder, he found himself at a loss. He never thought he would—could—think like that.
“I’m sorry. I usually can control it, but you know he’s always shown interest in you since your first encounter. And today, I just... felt restless.”
Yuder tilted his head slightly; his black hair was shifting gently. His eyes never left Kishiar's. "Since when have you felt jealous?"
“Since our time in Great Sarain Forest. Back then, you hadn’t accepted me yet, so I could still hold it back. But today...” Kishiar sighed; his fingers shook against the armrest. “Sorry. I promise I’ll do better.”
“Yeah. You can’t imprison me, Commander.”
“I know. I won’t. It’s just... my selfishness.”
“We still have to track the crack, find more clues, and stabilize the Cavalry. And we have a lot of other work to do as well.”
“Yeah. I know.” Heat climbed up Kishiar’s neck—humiliated by how exposed he was.
“But you can trap me in your room in the meantime.”
“... What?”
Kishiar hadn't registered Yuder's words at all because the next moment, Yuder stood and stepped toward him. Kishiar saw the glimmer in the black eyes and felt the familiar scent envelop him—wanting, craving, accepting. Ready. Ready to accept all of Kishiar’s, even his hideous self.
“I don’t mind being your prisoner whenever I’m free. You already caged my heart, Commander. And I will accept all part of you—even your ugly feelings."
Kishiar froze, stunned beyond words.
"If it's something from you, everything is... good.”
And then Kishiar felt Yuder’s lips on his. A gloved hand brushed deeply at his neck, eyelashes grazing his skin softly.
Ah...
How could someone like him exist before Kishiar?
Kishiar stopped holding back. He let the twisted, dark, hideous emotions surge. He grabbed Yuder’s waist, tightened his grip, feeling Yuder’s warmth—real, solid, his. The realization shattered what remained of his restraint.
Kishiar yanked at his lover's uniform and slipped a hand beneath the fabric. He let his hand touch the other man's bare skin while devouring Yuder's lips, desperate and consuming. His mouth trailed to Yuder’s chin, neck, and collarbone—remembering how Yuder once told him he could mark him—and Kishiar bit down hard.
Yuder trembled in his arms, jerked slightly in his lap, and his familiar scent intensified.
Kishiar’s hand trailed down to Yuder's spine, then hip, and found a place in the pelvis. His fingers followed the curve downward, slow and deliberate, lingering like a question. Yuder gasped between their fevered kisses and rough sucking, yet Kishiar found his lover's arm circling his neck, completely embracing him. Not letting anything come between them. He felt Yuder’s breath against his ear, hot and trembling. A whirlpool of hot, scorching fire engulfed him.
Kishiar let himself drown completely—and found pure satisfaction in Yuder’s half-dazed gaze, fixed only on him.