Chapter Text
Uchiha Mikoto did not bond with her eldest. There simply wasn’t enough time.
She had made an heir in wartime, left him with his grandparents as custom condoned, and as soon as she was healed, went back into the battlefield.
In those days, no sacrifice was too great for Konoha.
It still wasn’t. The Coup was as much for the future of Konoha as it was for the sake of the Uchiha.
Still, by the time she was released from field duty, Itachi was walking and talking but had no idea who she or Fugaku were besides a concept told to him by her mother and father.
Hell, Kushina had spent more time with Itachi than she had by the time Mikoto had returned.
(She used to be a little bitter about that, when Itachi would easily slip his hand into hers and would still hesitate with his own mother. That went away after that night.)
Still, she kept trying and love came eventually, a fire that threatened to burn everything in it’s wake, but understanding never did.
No, never understanding. But somehow, Fugaku did understand the boy and that was enough.
Or, Mikoto had thought it was enough. As she stared into Itachi’s room and watched him sleep, she could no longer be so sure.
He looked so young, curled up in his bed. As if he wasn’t planning to commit the worst abomination possible in the eyes of the gods.
Every nasty emotion mother’s were supposed to push down until that fantastical day of “Don’t worry, it will get get better,” came up and she let it consume her. It hardened her will, the mix of rage and love for this creature that came from her.
She loved her oldest, but she neither liked nor understood him. And she would suffer for him, take his place in hell.
Itachi suddenly jerked awake, ready to fight. He blinked rapidly and stared at his mother in the dim light of the morning. For a moment, he looked afraid. As if he wasn’t planning on raining down destruction on the clan and village.
Mikoto made her decision; for Sasuke, for the clan, for the village. And yes, even for Itachi. (Gods, how she resented him.)
“I don’t like you,” Mikoto began, voice steadier than she felt and Itachi did not react. Rather, he looked like she had just confirmed a long-held suspicion. “I love you with all my heart, but I don’t like you. But it’s my job to protect you, even if its from yourself and give you everything you need to become a better man and leader. And you have to become a leader; you were born to it even if you resent it. I wish I could give you more time to ease into it but we don’t. But I will protect you even if you hate it, you ungrateful child.”
With that, Mikoto turned and left. She knew what she had to do. All it meant was ripping her heart out.
But that was what motherhood and shinobi life meant.
Ten days later, Itachi and Shisui stood in a private meeting room that reeked of death and stared at the lifeless bodies of his father, the Uchiha council, and Shimura Danzo.
His father and the Uchiha elder’s bodies bore no marks and there was only an empty teapot.
Danzo, on the other hand, was a bloody mess. The sleeve and bandages on his arm had been torn away to reveal empty sockets. His own eyes had been plucked out, and his tongue sliced in two. Itachi wondered if he had drunk the poison beforehand, and if so, how on earth his mother had managed that.
Never let it be said that Uchiha Mikoto had lost her fire when she had set aside her kunoichi career in favor of becoming a mother.
Danzo had, Itachi had, and they had both paid for it.
Three days later, Uchiha Mikoto is declared a missing nin and Uchiha Itachi was forced to leave ANBU to take his father’s mantle as clan leader and parent to his brother.
Uchiha Mikoto was in the wind and the village was safe. Itachi knew this was what he had been praying for but.....
I don’t like you
Itachi doubted he would ever be truly free of the guilt that threatened to choke him every time he looked at his clan nor the resentment that festered when he met with the Hokage and his council for allowing Danzo to rob his clansmen’s graves and mutilate their bodies.
Maybe that was what Mother wanted, her revenge on him for ruining her life, her revenge for putting her in the position to kill the man she loved and the leaders she respected.