Chapter Text
It was barely ten pm on a Friday night, but Jimin was already thinking about going to bed. He'd recently been promoted at work, and while he was excited about the new position, it meant he’d spent the last week simultaneously learning his new job and training the new hire on his old one. It had led to a lot of long days and headaches. However, he felt sure the new person, a sweet but shy Alpha named Jungkook, would be a great fit. He was already starting to come out of his shell and make jokes, and he was definitely a quick learner.
Jimin sighed and looked around the sparsely decorated, two-bedroom apartment he’d moved into about eight months ago. He loved it, all high ceilings and large windows that faced the setting sun, and he’d been allowed to paint the walls a soft gray color that complimented the darker, faux-wood floors. However, his move had come after a bad breakup where he’d been left with a broken heart, shattered confidence, and not much else. There was very little furniture or decor in his new home, so it didn’t really feel like home. He’d earned a home, though. Wanted a place that felt comfortable and safe, designed for him and his needs. He needed a better couch. He sighed and tossed his empty ramen container in the recycling bin. And real dishes.
Tonight had been for him to relax and recoup after such a busy week. He'd taken an hour to just lay in the tub and relax before scrubbing and moisturizing his entire body and taking the time to do full skin- and hair-care routines. He was now dressed in a set of pink pajamas with his hair wrapped in a matching silk bonnet to protect the bleached tresses. Part of taking care of himself was building himself a future, though, not just allowing for healing from the past. He made a cup of hibiscus tea, enjoying the way the scent blended with his own, and curled up on the couch with his computer.
He’d been scrolling for about an hour, saving images of homes or decor that he enjoyed, when the strong scent of molding old paper filtered through the closed door, making Jimin suck in a harsh breath and close his eyes. Namjoon.
Namjoon usually smelled of parchment and rain, his scent thick and strong. Tonight, though, Jimin could practically taste the older man's distress, the two blending into a far less pleasant smell. Jimin loved all the nuances of Namjoon’s scent, though. Loved everything about the Alpha but had always been too afraid to say anything out of fear of ruining their friendship.
They’d been in the same literature elective during Namjoon’s senior year and his junior year in college, sat next to each other on the first day, and quickly connected over a love of similar stories. By the end of that semester, Jimin knew he was starting to feel more than just friendship, but the bigger man had never acted like he reciprocated those feelings. Their friendship grew deep and true, so Jimin didn’t want to risk it, regardless of how much his Wolf whined that Namjoon meant more. They managed to stay friends for over four years, even with all the changes life threw at them, and Namjoon was who helped him secure his start at his job. Jimin hid his love and attempted to move on with his life, eventually finding someone else to date, even if that didn’t exactly end happily ever after.
Jimin had felt up to trying to date again, but Namjoon was often out every weekend. Sometimes it was the same woman; other times it was someone new. Tonight, however, Joon was knocking on Jimin’s door instead of winning the heart of some other person. And he wasn’t happy about it, according to his scent. Jimin contemplated not answering, unsure he could handle any more emotional upheaval with how stretched thin he already felt, but a barely audible whimper sounded before a thud, Namjoon had obviously dropped his head against the door.
Barely acknowledging his own change of heart, Jimin found his feet carrying him across the floor to yank open the door. Namjoon had in fact dropped his head and his full weight against said door, so when Jimin pulled it open, he sent the much larger man stumbling into the foyer and crashing into him, both of them falling sideways into the wall with Jimin pinned beneath the bulky other man.
"Sorry! Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry." Namjoon helped Jimin regain his footing, hands running over the smaller man's body to check if he's hurt. "Are you okay?"
"I, uh, yeah. Um, yeah, I'm fine.” Jimin was pretty sure he was going to have a couple bruises by morning. “What's up? Weren't you on a date with, uh?"
"Lisa. I was, yeah." Namjoon sighed, scent souring even more.
Jimin carefully closed the front door before leading Namjoon to the couch and wrapping a throw blanket around the other man. He noticed that Namjoon was blinking rapidly and not meeting his eyes, so he went to the kitchen to make some more tea. The living area and kitchen were basically one big room with an island separating the two, so they could still see and hear each other as he moved about. He knew Joon enough to tell the other man wanted a few moments to collect his thoughts before speaking, so he focused on the steps of making the softly scented chamomile and herbal tea that Joon liked when upset. Once the cups were finished, he came back to the couch, handing over the mug he kept just for his friend to use.
"She doesn't like my scent."
Jimin felt himself bristle. This wasn't the first time he'd heard Namjoon talk about issues with his scent. Namjoon’s scent was just as big as the rest of him, and Jimin loved it. Loved how it wrapped around everyone and everything. However, others weren't so kind about Joon's scent. Several people had refused to date him, and the group had even faced a few fights from Alphas thinking the excess scent was on purpose. And Joon, poor, sweet, kind Joon, broke down a little more each time that happened.
Jimin was about to speak up, though he's not sure what to say, when Joon continued. "I've liked her for so long, you know? It took me months to get up the courage to talk to her because she's so pretty and funny, and everyone loves her. She can have anyone. But I finally managed to ask her out, and she said yes." He sighed. "Only, she seemed to get more and more distant as we kept going out, and tonight, she walked out in the middle of dinner, claiming my scent made her sick."
Jimin snarled, his Omega taking over and releasing the noise before he could stop it. Joon's head snapped around, eyes going wide, and Jimin blushed. His tongue seemed to trip over his words as he spoke. "Sorry. I didn't mean to...that's not nice, Joon." Jimin huffed, crossing his arms. "There are ways to end a date or leave a situation without being mean to someone. I mean, if you were being a knothead Alpha or making her uncomfortable or not taking a hint, yeah, get mean, but I know you. I know you're not like that, you'd never, EVER." Joon suddenly grabbed his hand, making Jimin realize he'd started yelling. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly before looking back up at his friend. "What she did, what she said, wasn't nice. It's not okay to be mean to someone like that, and I'm sorry she did it."
Namjoon blushed, his lips quirking into a small smile, and he ducked, looking down at his mug of tea. "Thanks."
Jimin scooted closer to Namjoon, reaching out to wrap his hand around the other man's forearm. "Honestly, though, there's nothing wrong with your scent or you, and you shouldn't be made to feel bad."
"I think there is, though." Jimin shook his head, but Joon continued talking before he could speak up. "I mean literally an issue, like a medical thing. I saw a doctor a few weeks ago. They did some tests. I'm supposed to go get the results next week." He swallowed hard, wiping his hands on his thighs. "Tuesday. I doubt they can do much about me smelling like mold or whatever, but if they could make it less noticeable."
“Moss.”
“What?”
“When you’re upset, you smell more like moss than mold. Like going for a walk after the rain.” Jimin blushed at how intensely Namjoon was looking at him. “Regardless, you shouldn’t change yourself for people who are mean to you. Unless there’s something wrong with you, actually wrong, you don’t need pills to fit some impossible standard a random Omega threw at you out of pettiness.”
Namjoon was quiet for a long time before swallowing hard. “Yeah. I still want to go get my results, see what they say, but…yeah. You’re right.”
Jimin wrapped his arms around Joon, letting the big Alpha lean into him and curl close enough to tuck his head onto the Omega’s shoulder. "Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”
Jimin hesitated. His couch wasn’t big enough for someone Namjoon’s size to sleep on comfortably, and his spare room was empty, at this point. Staying the night probably meant sharing his bed, and while he loved Joon's scent and always wanted it around him, he was careful about how much, knowing it would confuse his Omega to allow too much of that potent, delicious scent in his nest. A little leftover scent was one thing; Joon actually in his bed was another. He'd never seen the bigger man so upset, though, and he knew first-hand how distressing issues with scent could be for Wolves. Figuring out Joon’s scent coated into his nest could be a problem for future Jimin. His friend needed him now, so he still nodded. "Yeah. Let me see if I can find something for you to sleep in."
Jimin dug through his drawers to find an oversized shirt and sweats. Joon was several inches taller and broader, so they wouldn't be as comfortable on the bigger man, but it was something. The two quietly got ready for bed, Jimin digging an extra toothbrush out from under the sink, and then crawled into bed. Jimin turned off the lights and climbed into bed before turning the television on in his bedroom, handing Joon the remote. "In case I fall asleep on you. It's been a long week, and I know you go to bed later than this most Fridays."
Namjoon almost seemed to blush, but it was hard to tell in the dim light of the bedroom. "Thanks."
Jimin vaguely registered Namjoon finding reruns of Pokémon, smiling at the childish comfort show. He adjusted his pillows and settled in bed, snuggling down on his side and facing away from Joon. Only a few minutes later, he heard Namjoon’s fingers tapping across his phone.
“I swear, if you’re texting her while hiding in my bed for comfort.”
Namjoon laughed. “No, I’m not. I promise. You just…you got me thinking.”
Jimin knew Namjoon liked to write, still turned his feelings into lyrics in order to fully understand them, so he nodded. “Okay.” Shortly after, he’d fallen asleep.
The next morning, Namjoon was already up when Jimin awoke. He quickly went about his morning routine then headed to the kitchen. Joon was on the couch, still on his phone, grinning.
Jimin felt something nervous twist in his stomach. “Morning. Sorry I slept so late on you.”
“No problem. I’ve been plenty entertained.”
Needling something to occupy himself, he went to get a coffee cup, noting that Joon had already brewed a pot. “Oh?”
“Yeah. You said something last night, about me smelling like moss, not mold.” Jimin made an agreeing noise. “I remembered that someone else had once said that. Soyoon. So I reached back out to her. We’ve been texting all night.”
The cup slipped from Jimin’s fingers as he filled it. It clattered against the counter and sloshed over his hand making him yelp and jerk away, sending more coffee flying around the kitchen. “Fuck!”
“Are you okay?” Namjoon jogged to the kitchen, quickly taking the pot and setting it aside before guiding Jimin to the sink. “I’m supposed to be the clumsy one, not you.”
“I. I’m sorry. I don’t know. Tired. Long week. Didn’t expect. I don’t know.” Jimin couldn’t stop his rambling but also didn’t know what his brain was trying to say.
“I know you’ve been busy, but burning yourself won’t help.” He handed Jimin a dishtowel. “How bad is it? Do you need a doctor?” He started cleaning up the spilled coffee.
“No. I’m fine.” Jimin didn’t even look at his hand. “So…you and Soyoon dated right after we got out of college, right?”
Joon nodded. “We met up a couple weeks after my graduation, were interning together.”
“She’s an Alpha, too. Wasn’t that the problem? That Alphas struggle to conceive together?” Jimin finally patted his hand dry, noting that it was red but didn’t seem to be blistering.
“No. Yes. Sort of? Our gender being different would help overcome the subgender issues, and there’s always adoption or something like that. She didn’t want kids, though.”
Jimin nodded, pulling himself under control. She and Joon split up for a reason. He didn’t need to worry. “And you do.”
“I thought I did.”
Jimin wasn’t sure he could handle any more emotional whiplash, but Namjoon seemed determined to unintentionally push every one of his buttons. “What?”
“I thought I did, or thought that I had to, but I don’t. Not really.” He finished cleaning and turned to lean against the counter. “I was so mixed up back then, so confused. I had been raised to be a good son, follow a set path to make my family proud, but I didn’t want that. I wanted to make music and see the world. Create something that would outlast me, be bigger than just a person, reach others. You know?” Jimin nodded even though his brain wasn’t fully processing much of anything. “I thought I could maybe do it all. Have a family and a job like my parents wanted but make music on the side like I wanted. It used to frustrate Soyoon so much because she said I was giving up on my dreams and masking it as family fealty.”
“You don’t want a family?”
“I don’t want the kind of family my parents created. I want a partner, but I want one to experience life with, to create with. I want found family, a Pack. I don’t want kids and a nine to five kind of life. I was too afraid to admit all of that back then. It was too big. Too scary. Too different. Especially when dating another Alpha was also going against social norms. I thought I needed to balance my wants and normalcy.”
Jimin shook his head. “That’s. No. You should be happy, Joonie. And you are normal. Enjoying something or loving someone outside the stereotypes isn’t abnormal.”
He grinned. “Yeah. I see that now. Anyways, she moved away for a few years, did some traveling, but she got back recently, had asked about getting coffee or something to catch up. I wasn’t sure, but after what you said last night, I reached out. We’re going to get dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Yeah. See what happens.” Namoon gave a slightly giddy laugh, bouncing in place. “I always felt like I messed up by letting her go. I used to think it was because she represented the unconventional life I was afraid to want, but maybe it was just her. Or her, too. I don’t know.”
Jimin felt his Omega curl up inside his chest, hiding its nose under its tail, and he struggled to breath without releasing the whines building in his throat. “I…I hope you figure it out. Yo-you deserve that.”
“Thanks, Jimin. You’ve always been so understanding. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Hell, I don’t know if I’d ever have fully accepted myself if I hadn’t had a friend who accepted me the way you do. I owe you a lot.”
“No, Joonie. We’re friends, and I love you. You don’t owe me anything.”
Namjoon grinned wide, dimples appearing, and hugged Jimin. “I love you, too. Anyways, I’m going to head out, make some reservations and clean up my place. Just in case.” He waggled his brows. “You good?”
“Great. I was just planning a quiet weekend. Relaxing.”
“Cool. Enjoy it. I’ll see you at work on Monday.” Joon hugged him one more time then headed for the door, sliding on his shoes and disappearing.
Jimin slid into the floor, tears slipping over. “Yeah. Cool.”