Chapter Text
She is drowning.
The sea engulfs her, its fluid arms inviting her further, pulling her down, down to an abyss that’s black and cold. Her eyes sting from the salt and she can almost feel her own lungs convulsing in on themselves. She writhes in the water, trying to swim for the surface but the ocean is a strong and powerful mistress and she is giving in with every second she doesn’t breathe.
Her body is aflame. Her head is pounding. There’s no way out, no escape…
And slowly, she stops fighting.
She can’t keep her breath in much longer.
The water strangles her. She doesn’t even try to stop it—she doesn’t have the energy anymore. She’s knocked every which-way, and the light above her fades.
The sea welcomes her with open arms and she clings to its shoulders, falling deeper and deeper till all that surrounds her is darkness.
Waking, she gasped, heaving in air till she was certain salty waves wouldn’t try to throttle her again. The world spun back into the familiar dimness of her tiny bedroom; she could see the outlines of her desk, books, the flowers given to her by her father earlier that day. The window was open and moonlight poured in, but all the same, she felt too restricted by the covers of her bed, so she threw them off with shaking hands and stepped onto the cool stone of her floor.
Solid ground is a blessing, she thought. I won’t ever take advantage of it again.
Sitting at her windowsill, she watched the night, in all its stillness and enchantments. Her father’s house on the hill always had such a wonderful view of the town—the harbor in particular—and from her window she could see the sea perfectly; there was no hostility in its waters, not like in her dream, just the reflection of a moon so bright, she wondered why there was ever such a need for day again. The salt in the air filled her senses and hit her with the overwhelming need to sink back into the water, gently this time, like greeting an old friend rather than feeling a force of nature.
With a sigh, she leaned back against the wall. Wanderlust was a maddening thing—this was getting out of hand.
The first time she had ever ridden on a boat was just after Father had taken her in. She’d known so little about her new Papa, she’d figured him a pirate, and thought that this was her new life—to sail the high seas, with nothing to worry about but the breeze in her face and the speeding waves licking at her feet. The crew had been nothing but pleasant to her and the boat had such a homey feeling. Father had played hide-and-seek with her around the deck (how terrible he was at the game) and sometimes, if she was good, he’d let her stay up and dance with him and the crew till dawn.
And oh, how close she had grown to the sea. How it shone for her like it did now as it stole the moonlight. How she’d played with it and danced with it till dawn (her favorite dancing partner). How she’d spent hours simply watching waves roll by. How it warmed her heart to see it sparkle.
A new family and a new home and a new life in a completely new world. It had been the best week of her life.
But Father had not been a pirate. He was the beneficiary of a small town, with enough riches to provide her with a life that had no worry, no hardships. The moment they stepped off the boat, she waited eagerly for its return, to take them back to the sea once again. Days passed, and she waited. A month. Two. Three.
What a wonderful life Father had given her. She couldn’t have asked for a better person with whom to grow up, with whom to play hide-and-seek and even still, dance on the balcony to a rising sun. What a life of love and laughter he’d given her.
But her heart had been stolen by the sea, and no matter how hard she tried, she could never truly get it back.
She shut her eyes. She was being silly. She had such a wonderful life here, how could she possibly want anything else? What would Father say, after all that he’d done for her? How could she curse such selfishness, but never have any success in casting it out?
Honestly, you’d think nightmares of drowning would be enough to deter a girl.
Gazing at the harbor, she watched the boats with intrigue. No one was really out tonight, not that she could tell from her distance, but she could just imagine steering one of those ships onto the high seas, a sword on her hip and a mischievous glint in her eye. She’d shout orders to her fellow shipmates, watching their backs as they navigated the boat to shore. She wasn’t sure how much pillaging and plundering she cared for, but that was hardly the point. She’d travel everywhere, and the children would sing songs about her adventures, fighting fiends and fishing for riches. Without even realizing it, the thought of it all brought a grin to her face.
When she caught herself, the grin vanished, replaced by a weight of guilt.
She had a home. She had a father. She had a lovely, comforting life. What more could she ask for?
Grimacing, she looked back to the sea, and for a moment, she let its breeze wrap her in its arms and hold her, like the loyal companion it had been since the moment she set foot onto that boat.
The sea constantly beckoned her, and no matter where she was, Cosette always followed.