Work Text:
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The air was heavy with the promise of summer and the threat of thunder. There was something electric about witnessing how the clouds hung low in the sky, in between downpours. Like a coil ready to burst at a moment’s notice. It made Mitsuba impatient.
He and Kou were supposed to be enjoying their first day of their last summer break together when heavy rain put their plans on hold. Now, they sat at an empty bus station, either waiting for the sky to clear up or for their ride home. What a drag.
Their clothes were soaked through, and Mitsuba would have half the mind to feel gross about the way his cotton t-shirt was clinging to his body if it weren't for the way Kou’s thigh pressed against his lit up every single one of his nerve endings. The latter had grown more tactile throughout the years, getting more comfortable with knocking shoulders, lingering hands and playing with his hair. Mitsuba acted like he was disgusted by the physical touch when he was feeling particularly petulant, but the truth was his skin always ached for more. It was a good thing that Kou was known to be very persistent.
He was going to miss this—whatever this was between them—when they would inevitably part ways after high school. But he tried not to think about it, focusing instead on the bead of sweat running down the length of Kou’s cheek to the bottom of his chin. They hadn’t spoken since they got under the bus stop but he could feel restlessness radiating off the blond boy in the furrow of his brows. He was fidgeting, decisively staring at his shoes and his wet socks. Could he feel the weight of Mitsuba’s gaze? Did he know what it meant?
Mitsuba looked away, staring at his own pair of soggy shoes, before speaking, playing up the annoyance for the bit: “What’s up with you? I’ve never seen you think this hard before.”
That seemed to snap Kou out of his daze. A familiar exasperated look settled on his face as he scoffed, pulling his thigh away. Mitsuba was keenly aware of the sudden loss of contact and resisted chasing after it. Instead, he found consolation in the way Kou’s annoyed expression bled into one akin to fondness, an easy smile on his chapped lips. He never actually got mad at him for his crappy attitude.
“Nothing. Just bummed out that this is how we start off our break.”
Mitsuba hummed noncommittally and let it go. He knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth—hasn’t been for a while now. Maybe he was also hiding the same feelings that have been swelling up in Mitsuba’s chest. The faint blush that appeared on Kou’s face as the pink haired boy scrutinized him was very promising. Although it could’ve been from the humidity. God, the guessing game was getting old.
They’ve been dancing the fine line between friends and something more for some time now. It was both exhilarating and exhausting. The blurry boundaries of their relationship made Mitsuba daring. He wanted to know just how far he could push them, but never wanted to cross the line. He always wanted more—maybe to a fault, and wanting Kou was no exception. In fact, Mitsuba would say he was his most greedy self when it came to him. There was something equally comforting and frustrating about not putting a name to it. He could express his affection with the peace of mind of knowing he could always play it off as a joke if Kou ever rejected it. But the other never did, and that did complicated things to his heart.
The sticky heat was starting to get to him. Strands of his hair had fallen out of his loose ponytail, tickling the nape of his neck. He felt impatient again, sitting on this bench, idly counting cars as they passed by, just inches away from the guy he was crushing on. Mitsuba kicked a pebble and watched it skid across the drying asphalt and stop a few feet away. He itched to instigate a fight to keep them occupied, to keep Kou’s avoidant eyes on him. Instead, he kicked a second pebble, harder this time. It went flying past the first one, but didn’t reach the grassy patch on the other side of the road. He huffed out a breath of annoyance. The ends of his side bangs lifted up with the exhale.
“Your hair looks like shit,” said Kou. It came out clipped, but Mitsuba saw through him and recognized it for what it truly was: his own odd way of giving him an opening to start something. His insides flipped at the thought of being read like an open book.
“You should look in a mirror first. You look way worse, dude,” said Mitsuba, eyeing the other’s mop of wet hair—devastatingly adorable but that was something he’d rather die than admit out loud. He wanted to reach out and card his hand through the unruly blond locks, but that would be too out of character for him. “If my hair really bothers you though, you can fix it yourself,” he muttered as an afterthought, mustering enough sarcasm to cover up what he really meant. But of course, Kou saw through his act like he always did and recognized it for what it truly was: an unspoken invitation.
“Turn around, then.”
“Quit bossing me. I bet you get off on it, you perv,” Mitsuba mumbled but complied, pulling his knees to his chest so his legs wouldn’t dangle awkwardly off the bench.
When Kou gently tugged the rest of his hair out of his ponytail, it sent an electric charge down his spine. It was a feeling he wished he could bottle up and keep close to his heart forever alongside all the other bottles of feelings his stupid crush made him feel. Kou removed the barrettes and hair clips keeping loose and uneven locks in place and Mitsuba wordlessly offered his palm to hold them. They’ve done this before, more times than he could count. The methodic and meditative process of taking care of someone and being taken care of calmed their nerves and it had quickly become their thing, a sporadic and quiet act of love. It also gave them the perfect excuse to sit close to each other.
As Kou began combing through his wet hair with his fingers, Mitsuba’s shoulders relaxed and his eyes closed reflexively. He could picture in his mind the way the other’s hands moved, detangling knots and clumps as he worked from the back to the front, swift but always gentle. It was hard to imagine impulsive, energetic and loud Minamoto Kou indulging in such a soft and tender act. It was a side of him Mitsuba got to preciously keep to himself—and share with Tiara of course, but that was besides the point. Butterflies swarmed his stomach knowing he had the (near) exclusivity of Kou’s gentleness, a secret the blond boy kept hidden under careful layers of snark and boyish aggressiveness.
He felt the brush of fingers on his temple, gathering his side bangs and tucking them behind his ear. Kou always complained about how they hid half of his face and made him a tripping hazard. Mitsuba was convinced the other boy had some kind of weird fixation with his forehead and never missed a chance to tease him about it.
Light hit his now completely uncovered face and he cracked an eye open, trying his damned best to focus on something other than the cute boy playing with his hair and his wandering gaze landed on the sky. It shouldn’t be possible, but the dark clouds were hanging even lower than when the two boys had first gotten under the bus stop. If he looked far enough, they were practically touching the horizon line. But still, no rain. Yet.
It made Mitsuba wonder how long the clouds had been holding in the rain for them to appear so heavy and menacing. Then, he wondered how much longer they were ready to keep it in before it was too much to handle, inevitably pouring everything out. He could empathize with them, in a way. Mitsuba had sort of become an expert at bottling things up over the years and was constantly on the verge of pouring out all his romantic feelings for his best friend. Those clouds and him weren’t so different, come to think of it. And then he immediately backtracked because there was no way in hell literal floating masses of water drops and their lame-ass meteorological phenomenon were even close to comparable to his very legit teenage yearning. It hurt his pride that his own brain could come up with such a sappy and offensive simile.
He stared daggers into the sky, and as if to reply, thunder roared defiantly in the distance. He could feel the rumble in his feet and it only served to piss him off even more. Rain pattered against the roof of the bus stop sneeringly, as if to say Hey, look at me, I am able to let out the thing I’ve been repressing and I am living my best life, unlike you, you useless pining fool. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, reining in his violent impulses by refocusing on the slight tug of his hair as Kou continued to diligently tame it. For him, Mitsuba would be capable of putting his ego and his pride aside, of being the bigger person. He could be sensible, for crying out loud! He could take a page out of the Weather’s (capital W) book. He could totally confess his feelings to his crush. What was there to lose, anyways? Aside from the blanket of anonymity that hid his truest desires, the spontaneous not-a-date dates they’ve been going on for months, Kou’s toothy grin that was his alone to covet, their entire friendship…
Fuck. The sticky feeling of loss made Mitsuba nauseous. Dread weighed heavy in his chest. He wanted to curl up into a ball and wait for the ground beneath him to open up and swallow him whole, because who was he kidding? There was no point in risking everything to try to fulfill his selfish wishes. He would be better off spending the rest of their last school year maintaining the delicate balance on which their relationship stood upon, the constant push and pull between friendship and something more. He would keep bottling everything up if it meant having a sure-fire way of keeping his best friend in his life, no matter how much it tormented him to push his bubbling feelings into the deepest corners of his mind. The choice was losing Kou or suffering a miserable life, which wasn’t much of a choice at all.
A sharp yank snapped Mitsuba’s head backwards. He yelped, ready to start a screaming match over such a violent assault, but his insults died on his tongue the moment his gaze met the piercing blue eyes peering down at him in an angry scowl. He could feel his cheeks heat up, hyper aware of the few inches separating their faces.
“I can feel you overthinking in there and it’s throwing me off.” Kou punctuated each word with a jab to Mitsuba’s forehead. He held the pink haired boy in place, and before the other could speak, he continued, his expression softening: “You’re okay,” he whispered, brushing away stray hairs from Mitsuba’s eye. “Now stop worrying and let me finish braiding your hair, okay?” Dumbfounded and wide-eyed, Mitsuba could only nod, his flush darkening as Kou guided his head back into a more comfortable position. The intervention was effective, rendering his brain to quiet static and making his stomach do a complicated combination of flips. He let himself close his eyes once more and leaned into the other’s touch.
Kou made quick work of braiding some of the longer strands of hair on either side of his head together and tying them into the short ponytail. He reached for Mitsuba’s open hand and grabbed several bobby pins, securing the braids in place. With the remaining hair clips, he pinned the stray locks that weren’t long enough for the ponytail so they wouldn’t touch Mitsuba’s neck—a feeling he had learnt early on that the boy hated.
“Alright, I’m nearly done. Turn around for the final touches.” Mitsuba complied and tried not to squirm as Kou’s face crowded his vision. The blond boy used the last hair clip (sparkly pink with a strawberry charm adorning it) to keep his side bangs away from his face. It took him several tries to get it right, all the while Mitsuba kept his eyes stubbornly trained on a puddle of water forming in a pothole. Once Kou was satisfied with the result, he sat back, giving his work a once-over, openly staring at the other’s face, before smiling brightly. He pulled out his phone to open the camera app, an isopod phone charm clinking against the case, and handed it to Mitsuba. “Check it out and tell me you don’t love it.”
Mitsuba rolled his eyes and repeated back those exact words before grabbing the phone. He eyed the hairdo critically, turning left and right to make sure the braids were even. He shook his head lightly, but none of it came undone. He was pleased by the results and his mind lingered on the fact that Kou put care into making sure the tension was just right and that none of the clips dug painfully into his scalp. He felt known and loved. And maybe pretty, too.
“So? Does it meet your princely standards?” asked Kou, a glint of humour in his eyes, while pocketing his phone.
Mitsuba made a show of pondering, as if the answer wasn’t obvious in his grin, before responding : “It’s alright, I guess. Tiara could've probably done a better job than you.”
“That’s high praise coming from you, so I’ll take it. I’m glad you like it,” he chuckled and God did Mitsuba love that sound.
And that smile.
And that stupid face.
Mitsuba sighed to himself. He wanted to kiss him so bad it hurt.
On sleepless nights, he told himself that being Kou’s best friend could be—should be—enough. That he could survive on the ambiguous looks they gave each other, on the casual hand holding that meant little to Kou but everything to him, on that beautiful smile he could admire from afar but never taste.
But in the brief moment where Kou’s laughter died down, his bright smile replaced by something fond and content, the world around them grew quiet with only the sound of rain to fill the silence. And in that silence, Mitsuba could read something in those blue eyes that screamed at him that his affection was reciprocated tenfold.
And then realization ran over him like a truck. Because of course Kou loved him back. It was so painfully obvious.
It was in the way he always kept extra hair ties on him because Mitsuba always lost his.
It was in the way he’d hold onto him in crowds, like he was deathly afraid of losing him, and those drawn-out seconds after they’d successfully escaped the bustle where his hold would linger before letting go of his hand.
It was in the way his gaze always searched for Mitsuba when he entered a room, and that small smile that would always find its way onto his lips when he found him.
It was in the way he kept a careful list of all of Mitsuba’s favourite meals and desserts to make for him whenever he needed cheering up.
It was in all of the unspoken ways Kou cared for him and stood by him.
Mitsuba felt familiar warmth bloom in his chest and the rush of adrenaline in his veins. The downpour intensified. Raindrops left little dark streaks on their clothes that had just begun to dry, but neither boy seemed to care. Kou was still looking at him, as he had been looking at him for months, maybe even years. Mitsuba stared back at him and nudged his thigh with his own. They both smiled at each other, unabashedly.
Then, Kou leaned into his space and Mitsuba scootched closer to meet him halfway. The blond boy whispered something into his ear, but the words were muffled by the sound of rain drumming against the pavement. Mitsuba pulled back, far enough to get a good look of Kou’s face and the light blush dusting his cheeks, and asked: “What?”
Kou swallowed and looked away before repeating, louder, “Do you want to try dating?”
Mitsuba gawked at him, unsure if he had heard that right. Was he dreaming? Kou frowned as his silence stretched out and Mitsuba cursed himself for getting caught off guard. He fumbled for a cool response, something detached and nonchalant, but all that came out was a shaky What? that was admittedly less casual than the first one.
“Like, each other. As, uh, boyfriends,” he mumbled, just loud enough to be heard over the rainstorm. He kept his eyes fixed to the ground, playing with the pink hair ties on his wrist. When no response came, he looked up apprehensively and was met with a gaping Mitsuba. He sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair. “Look, we can just forget about it. This doesn’t have to change anything between us.” He moved away to give the other more space. “We can still be friends—”
Before he could finish his sentence, Mitsuba had bridged the distance between them to grab his face, messily crashing their lips together. It was an awkward, close-mouthed kiss that only lasted seconds. Neither one of them knew where to put their hands and it kind of hurt. It was everything Mitsuba had dreamed of and more.
They pulled away, trying to catch their breath. Kou’s blush had spread to the tips of his ears and it was his turn to gape at Mitsuba. The latter tried to buy some time to compose himself by fixing his hair before remembering everything was already pinned down. He let his hand drop and intertwined it with Kou’s. And because the blond boy could be really dense sometimes, Mitsuba looked him dead in the eyes, abandoning all attempts of appearing aloof, and spelled it out for him: “You are the world’s biggest idiot if you think I don’t like you back.” He gave him a peck on the cheek to drive his point home. “And yes, I want to date you. As boyfriends.”
Kou blinked, bewildered, before grinning wildly. He squeezed their interlocked hands, not bothered by the dampness. “You’re serious, right? No take-backsies!”
“What are you, five?” Mitsuba scoffed. “Yes, I like-like you. Don’t make me repeat that or I'll start to regret kissing you.” He meant to sound annoyed, but he couldn’t fight off the grin on his lips.
“I’m so happy right now,” Kou whispered, his excitement barely contained in his voice. Mitsuba was convinced he’d run out onto the road to do a happy dance if it weren’t for the rain. He was such a dork.
They fell back into comfortable silence and Mitsuba let himself take in all these new found emotions. He felt so much lighter and relaxed, like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. The drab weather did nothing to dampen his mood and even his usual pessimism took a backseat. Sure, neither of them knew how to date and he had no way of guaranteeing they’d still be together by graduation, or afterwards—which was kind of terrifying if he was being honest. But sitting beside Kou and holding his hand filled him with the conviction that they would figure things out as they go. Together.
When he smiled at Kou, Kou was already smiling back at him. The sky had cleared up once more when the bus finally arrived, shy rays of sun peaking out of blankets of clouds, a hint of a rainbow in the distance. They continued to hold hands as they climbed onto the bus and didn’t let go the entire ride home.
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