Chapter Text
“Kiri te Suli Kireysi’ite, will you allow me the honor of courting you?”
Kiri stared down at the reef boy, who sat on his knees and held her hands, looking up at her with large blue eyes filled with hope and genuine adoration, and couldn’t muster up the confidence to say a single word. When Rotxo had invited her to go diving during the coming of age ceremony, only to then bring her to a large rock, away from prying eyes because he had something important to tell her, what she hadn’t expected was for him to suddenly begin professing his feelings for her, and then get on his knees and ask to begin a courtship.
Courting was a big deal in na’vi cultures, and while what was considered precedent for it differed from clan to clan, what united all forms of courting was the belief that, for the initiator, it was a serious commitment with the intention of hopefully leading to a permanent union with the one they wished to court. Na’vi did not court for fun, it wasn’t something you did solely out of attraction; if someone wished to court you, it was because they truly saw you as someone they wanted to spend the rest of their life with. For Rotxo to want to court Kiri, he had to have feelings that rang so deep that just thinking about it made her head spin.
For as long as Kiri had been alive, she had always been the weirdo, the freak, the strange halfling with five fingers and thick hair on her forehead, the odd child who would sit in the forest and stare at the leaves instead of mingling with her peers, the gangly outcast that was strangely tall for her age with a deep voice and a clumsy disposition. No one outside of her family unit seemed to show any genuine interest in her, and when she wasn’t being picked on, she was being ignored. She had accepted this as the reality of her existence, not everyone could be like Tsireya for example, beautiful and popular, in order for the world to have balance, some people needed to be outcast, unlovable anomalies that no one truly understood.
As a result, she wasn’t prepared for this. She had never thought there would be a day where a boy pursued her romantically, because boys never gave her a second glance, and whenever they did she was met with disgust and confusion. However, Rotxo’s eyes harboured neither, there was no disgust, there was no confusion, there were no hints of amusement that indicated this was some sort of prank. No, all she could see was admiration for her, and a hint of nervousness. He really liked her, and he truly wanted to do this.
As it began to sink in that this was real, a boy she believed was in an entirely different position in the clan to her was actually interested in her, all she could do was look down at him, lost for words, “I… why? Why would you want to court… me?”
Rotxo blinked, seeing the bewilderment on her face, before letting off a chuckle, “why not? I mean, where do I begin? I find you to be absolutely beautiful, but that’s not it! Whenever we spend time together, I feel something in my very soul… it’s like a Tulkun’s song, bellowing deep and overcoming my whole body, there was a time I couldn’t even look you in the eye without my heart racing so fast I thought it would explode, there isn’t a day I don’t spend most of my hours thinking of you. Kiri… I know this is what I want, I want to court you, to prove to you through my actions that I am worthy of you, and your heart.”
…
“Oh,” was all Kiri could say, mostly because she wasn’t sure what else to say. How was she? Rotxo, a boy she was sure had much better options than her, just spilled his entire heart to her. What could she have ever done to make him feel this way? She wasn’t exceptionally beautiful, didn’t exactly have the most tender of hearts, had the social etiquette of a monkey, was probably ranked in last place when it came to desirability, and yet she was the one that inspired such strong feelings within him? She made his heart race and took up a majority of his thoughts? She sort of wanted to ask which Kiri he was talking about, because surely it couldn’t be her.
As the nervousness in Rotxo’s eyes became more apparent, Kiri realized she had yet to actually give him an answer, what was her answer? She wouldn’t lie and say she felt even half as deeply for him as he felt for her, but… that was the point of courting, to allow both parties a chance to exclusively get to know one another, test their compatibility, as well as allow the initiator the chance to prove why they were worth having their feelings reciprocated. Not only that, but it was Kiri’s choice, the ball was always in her court, she could easily tell Rotxo she wasn’t interested, and he’d have to end the courtship and move on. She liked Rotxo, he was cute, nice and she enjoyed their time together. The more she thought about it, the more she realized she quite liked the idea of being courted by him…
Taking in a deep breath, Kiri finally managed a faint, shy smile as her cheeks slightly darkened with a faint violet, “I… accept your offer, Rotxo te Rara Yapto’itan, you may court me.”
For about a minute, the two stood in awkward silence, Kiri occasionally looking away as Rotxo continued to stare up at her. She almost asked if he was okay, before his pupils suddenly dilated, and his lips fell apart, “wait, really? You’ll really allow me to court you? You’re… not just saying it because I asked? Because if you really don’t want me to that’s completely fine please do not feel forced to—”
“Skxawng, I’m being serious, I will allow you to court me, I’ve never been one to say what I don’t mean,” Kiri chuckled, swatting him on the arm, “so get to it before I change my mind.”
His look of disbelief began contorting into pure joy, his signature wide smile taking form, and Kiri had never seen him this happy. He suddenly jumped up, causing her to squeak in shock when he pumped a fist into the air and cheered, “wahoo!” Rotxo was sure to catch her by the forearms when she almost slipped off the rock, the two of them laughing at the predicament, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! It’s just, I’ve been planning this for a while and I honestly didn’t think you’d say yes! I’m beyond honored— shit! Wait, I almost forgot, Rotxo, how could you forget you practiced this!”
Kiri could only giggle at his antics, she never thought she’d see the day the calm and collected Rotxo behaved so scatterbrained, it was honestly endearing, seeing how bashful and nervous he was. He fumbled with the pouch attached to his loincloth, before bringing out what he had wanted to give her, “if we are to begin this courtship, Kiri, I bestow upon you my first gift.”
Kiri softly gasped when she saw what it was. It was a long necklace, woven in a style similar to what her grandmother wore, with seashells adorning the peach colored braided string, and a hook at the bottom to wrap around the waist. In the center of it was a crystal that shone a dazzling marigold, meticulously woven as to never break off.
“I made it just for you, with help from my grandmother; we did some research on Omatikaya style, mostly by studying Neytiri’s discarded things — I wanted it to be a blend, Omatikaya and Metkayina, to show you my willingness to learn and adapt to your ways, as you have to ours.” Rotxo’s smile then widened, his faint blush getting slightly brighter, “I picked the crystal, because it reminded me of your eyes.”
Kiri could only stare, her mouth stuck in a permanent O as she took it into her hands; it was a stunning example of craftsmanship, the sort of decorative accessory her mother would wear for special ceremonies and festivals. In fact, part of her believed it was too beautiful to be for her, she couldn't walk around wearing this, surely it was too good for her.
“Rotxo I… don’t know what to say, it’s absolutely beautiful.”
That was enough to have him beaming, “so you like it?”
“Like it?” The forest girl chuckled, playfully shoving him, “I love it! Wow, if I get stuff like this all the time then I’m so ready for this whole courting thing.”
Rotxo took her hands, his thumbs softly caressing them, “I would give you Pandora itself if I could,” which admittedly made Kiri’s heart skip a beat — again, what about her made him say things like that? — “but first, I must go to your parents and inform them—”
“NO!” Kiri snapped, catching him way off guard enough for him to jump. When she realized her outburst, she sighed, “Rotxo, you can’t tell my parents! Especially not dad, he can never find out.”
“But that is courtship expectation Kiri,” Rotxo said, genuinely perplexed, “now that you have given me permission, I must go to your parents and inform them of my intentions, so that way—”
“No Rotxo, you don’t understand, my father is…” Kiri sighed, shaking her head, “for all my life, he told me and Tuk we can never mate until he’s dead and gone, when Lo’ak joked that a boy liked me, my dad went to have a ‘man’ talk with him… said boy never spoke to me again! Everytime mom brings up the prospect of me or my sister getting mated and starting families in the future, his eye starts twitching and his fists start clenching; for some reason, sky people, males, don’t like the idea of their daughters having romantic prospects, and even though my father is now of our people, that part of him never faded…” she then gave him a bemused smile, “if my dad finds out you’re courting me, he’ll kill you and scatter your bodyparts all over the ocean.”
“Oh,” Rotxo simply responded with widened eyes, “well I would rather not die, so… I suppose we will be courting in secret.”
“That is the smartest way to go about this.” Kiri giggled, “now let’s get back to the ceremony before they start getting suspicious.”
Rotxo happily skipped ahead, taking her hand into his. How could he not be happy? The girl of his dreams was allowing him to court her! Sure, he had to keep it a secret, which meant he couldn’t dote on her publicly, and could only hold her hand when they were together like this, but it was only temporary, until they were sure Jake wouldn’t gut him like a fish! He had a pep in his step, and somehow, receiving his first tolu was only the second best thing to happen that day.
“He made you that? Oh, he’s serious serious.”
Kiri sat by the docks with Spider, watching as the fishers went about their daily tasks, all while she braided his growing hair around his mid length kuru. A faint blush found its way onto her cheeks before she nervously looked away, “yes, with the help of his grandmother, I couldn’t not put it on, it’s too gorgeous.” She said, looking down at the accessory Rotxo had gifted her, still in awe at the way the crystal shone in the light and how the seashells fell like a waterfall.
“So much for keeping it a secret, might as well announce to the whole clan that he’s cour— YEOW!” Spider yelped when Kiri yanked his still developing kuru, “watch it! Don’t be a dickweed!”
“Only if you swear to shut your flapping gums, monkey boy!” Kiri hissed, “no need to announce my private matters to the world.”
“I’m just saying, you might not wanna walk around wearin’ fancy shmancy clothes from your boytoy if you want to keep the whole courting thing a secret,” Spider snorted, swatting at her tail in revenge, “what are ya gonna do when Jake asks where you got it from?”
“I’ll say Tsireya made it for me.”
“And he asks Tsireya and she says she doesn’t recall making you such a thing.”
“I’ll tell him I lied to cover up the fact that I stole it from a clan member I don’t remember.”
Spider suddenly burst into a fit of hysterics, shaking his head before looking up at her, “you’re literally fucking insane.”
“And you have a mouth full of ikran dung, watch the profanities.” Kiri chuckled with a roll of her eyes. Yes, she was supposed to keep Rotxo’s courting of her a secret, but she needed to talk to someone about it, and Spider was the only person she could trust. Her brothers would probably react just like Jake, albeit to a less violent degree, her mother couldn’t lie to her father to save her life and would inevitably spill the beans, Tuk was too young to not tattle, and Tsireya, bless her heart, had a mouth that flew like a skimwing, so knowing her she would accidentally reveal it to everyone while talking about her day. Spider was the only one she could ensure would not only keep it a secret, but also not go completely insane over it.
As she finished off the braid, Kiri then sighed, “Spider will you allow me to be a little… vulnerable for a second?”
He turned his head back, a small, comforting smile found its way onto his face, “what’s up Kiri?”
Kiri sat back and sighed, “I… genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out why Rotxo wants to court me in the first place.” She said, fiddling with the seashells on the necklace, “when I ask, he speaks of me in such flowery prose, it… doesn’t feel like he’s talking about me! He goes on about my apparent beauty and wit and smarts, and how he can’t stop thinking of me and how I make his heart race and simply looking at me brightens his mood and it’s… weird! Those are things you say about girls like Tsireya or, shoot, what’s the name of the girl that leads dances again?”
“Nì’nun?”
“Her! You know, beautiful girls that look like angels, not… girls like me! I feel like a fraud, like the Kiri he’s so in love with isn’t me…”
“But it is you, that’s clearly what he sees when he looks at you,” Spider soon said, placing an arm around her shoulders, “you just don’t believe it because you don’t see those things when you look within yourself. You don’t see the beauty, wit and talent he sees, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real, it just means you need to stop being so cruel to yourself.”
“I’m not cruel to myself,” Kiri muttered, “I’m simply being honest and real about my existence.”
Spider rolled his eyes, “no, you’re being cruel; you diminish yourself and sell yourself short every chance you get! How about this, instead of viewing Rotxo as being wrong about you, maybe you’re the one wrong about yourself, and he’s able to see all the wonderful things about you that you purposefully ignore.”
Kiri’s eyes drifted onto the sea just below the docks, watching as the tiny fish scattered around. She honestly wasn’t sure what to believe, she still couldn’t bring herself to accept Rotxo’s praises, and couldn’t fathom why he looked at her as though she was the most precious gem on Pandora when to her, she was just some outcast no one ever gave a second thought. Even with Spider’s reassurances, she was… scared, at first this whole courting thing excited her, but the more she thought of it, the more it petrified her.
“What if… Rotxo spends time with me, and sees me the way I do? What if I… what if he realizes my true nature, and wants nothing to do with me?” Kiri gently asked, her fingers nervously twiddling with the seashells on her necklace.
Spider’s face softened, seeing the way Kiri’s brows pinched along with the corner of her lips, “then that’s his loss, if he can’t handle every part of you, including your flaws, and only wants his idealized version of you, then he didn’t deserve you in the first place and you’re better off without him.”
Kiri sighed a breath of relief, looking down at her peach skinned friend. Resting her head on top of his, she closed her eyes, her lips curling into a gentle simper, “thanks monkey boy, you always know how to make me feel less shitty.”
Spider smiled, happily hugging her back, but was unable to stop his mischievous grin before saying, “now who’s got the potty mouth? Better watch your language, Eywa is listening.”
“Eywa should strike you down for being such a bull-headed skxawng!”
“Not if she gets you first for being a lying hypocrite!”
“Better a hypocrite than an idiot!”
“You keep being mean to me and I’ll tell Rotxo that you’re an evil witch and he should run for the hills!”
“Why you little— get back here!”
In mock anger, Kiri was overtaken by a fit of giggles as Spider sped off, causing her to get up from her spot and run after him. When she got her hands on him, she swore she’d dunk him into the ocean so many times that his face would be infused with sea salt.