Work Text:
A
Apple
| ˈa-pəl |
Noun.
Plural: Apples. There are many different kinds with varying levels of sweetness. For Mizuki, though, there was only one that mattered: the sweetest of them all.
1. : the fleshy, edible pome fruit of a usually cultivated tree (genus Malus) of the rose family.
a. : usually rounded red, yellow, or green.
| Red, like the hint of a hue on Mafuyu’s cheeks whenever Mizuki got close enough to touch; to swipe away crumbs of food that resided at the corner of her mouth; to feel her warmth.
b. : grown on small deciduous trees, they bloom white to pink in spring and ripen in late summer/autumn.
| Like the flowering apple trees, Mafuyu thought Mizuki bloomed most brilliantly in the spring: when she was bathed in dappled sunlight and everything pink.
2. : a substitute (fig.) for Mafuyu’s heart.
a. : a bad/rotten apple.
| A singular member of a group who causes problems (e.g. ruins and corrupts) for the rest of the group. Neither Mafuyu nor Mizuki could seem to agree on which of them better fit the definition. They wondered, quietly, if maybe neither of them were rotten at all. (They hoped.)
→ see also : the apple of one’s eye.
| One that is highly cherished. (What Mizuki was - is - to Mafuyu, and vice versa.)
Example(s) of ‘apple’ in a sentence:
“She took a bite of the big, juicy apple.”
To Mafuyu, there was nothing else quite as sweet or as comforting as sinking your teeth into the crispy flesh. When eating an apple, one typically only bites into the parts that are liked or accepted - the juicy flesh, the shiny red skin - and the rest is discarded. No matter what, you don’t sink your teeth into its unsightly, disgusting heart.
Mizuki disagreed. Mizuki was much more interested in the core than the apple itself. She didn’t mind a few seeds. A garden (i.e. them: their budding relationship) couldn’t grow without them, after all.
Aquarium
| ə-ˈkwer-ē-əm |
Noun.
Plural: Aquariums or aquaria. Aquariums come in many different kinds and different shapes. For Mafuyu (who was the water that filled it), it was merely a container that defined her. Without it, she was formless. For Mizuki (who was the fish that swam through the water), it was merely a container that confined her. Within it, there wasn’t anywhere for her to hide.
Between them, there wasn’t a single aquarium that fit them perfectly. One couldn’t exist without it, and the other cannot exist within it. They tried their best to make it work, even so.
1. : a container or an artificial pond in which aquatic animals or plants are kept.
a. : transparent, often glass or acrylic.
| Mizuki wished she was transparent so that she could vanish. Mafuyu was. Looking through her provided a window into whatever the beholder wanted to see.
Example(s) of ‘aquarium’ in a sentence:
“She loved staring into her empty aquarium.”
For Mafuyu, looking into the aquarium meant looking into her heart. The tank was as empty as she was, and if only for a fragment in time, the ebb and flow of the water allowed her persona to disappear into the depths.
For Mizuki, looking into the aquarium meant endless possibilities. If something was empty, then it needed only to be filled and decorated with the things you liked. And like flowers, Mizuki hoped that with enough sunlight and adoration, Mafuyu’s heart was something that could blossom, too. She’d happily provide both, even if it didn’t.
Abnormal
| (ˌ)ab-ˈnȯr-məl |
Adjective.
1. : deviating from the normal or average.
a. : a person with abnormal (exceptional) strength.
| Mafuyu Asahina was considered abnormally perfect. “Did you hear?” a classmate whispered. “She scored a perfect 100 again. Doesn’t it ever get tiring?”
b. : often: unusual in an unwelcome or problematic way.
| Mizuki Akiyama was considered abnormal. Whenever her name was whispered behind her back, it wasn’t difficult to guess the connotations.
Example(s) of ‘abnormal’ in a sentence:
“She’s abnormal.”
It never seemed to matter how much Mizuki or Mafuyu disagreed with the pointing fingers of those around them.
B
Bug
| ˈbəg |
Noun.
Plural: Bugs. Something Nightcord seemed to be full of. But一 piece by piece, line by line, they would work on putting each other back together.
1. : an insect.
a. : specifically of the order Hemiptera and especially its suborder Heteroptera.
| Like the way that Mafuyu’s skin crawled in the comfort of her own home. It made her feel sick.
b. : commonly considered obnoxious.
| People looked at Mizuki Akiyama like she was a bug.
2. an unexpected defect, fault, flaw or imperfection
a. : an error.
| M̴̛͈̬̄a̶͖̠͇͉͖̱͂̌̔͂͘̕̚͠f̵͙͒͒u̴͔̝͇̓̀̏̂̂̽͋̀̓̂y̵̥̼̑̾u̸̢͕͓̗͚̤̝̇̐̔͌̒̂ͅ ̴̟̜͉͚͖̿͛͋͐̑̋̏̒̕ͅA̴̢̟̲̭̪͆̓͊̎͐̂͑̂͂͂͝s̴̢̳̠̠̠̮͚̺̳̻̩̀̏͛͊̔̀̕a̷̡͉͙̫̻̠̜̿ͅh̴̢̩̠̟͈̩̔͗ͅi̶̖͆̉̓̕ñ̸̘͖̲̬͙̏̔̓̓a̴͚̫͙̅̓̈̀̄̊͘͠ ḧ̶̨̟̹̣́͛̽͘è̷̳̫͔̙͝r̴͓̮̈́̀̐s̵̡͈̟̟͓̋é̵͚̫̇̾̅̔͠l̶̡̮͈͇͎͓̍͜f̸̨̖͈̋.
Example(s) of ‘bȗ̸͎̯̺̝̎̄̏̕ĝ̶̛̟̓͒̀’ in a sentence:
“The custom program we used developed a bug.”
The ‘perfect daughter’ stopped functioning the way that she should. At least Nightcord (and Mizuki. Mafuyu was infinitely, eternally grateful for Mizuki) were there to pick up the pieces: to recode her.
Beside
| bi-ˈsīd |
Preposition.
1. : a shared space of comfort between two people (e.g. Mizuki and Mafuyu.)
a. : by the side of; next to.
| If home could be defined as a single place, it would be here: curled into each other in a quiet place away from judgemental/expecting eyes. Mizuki’s legs were draped across Mafuyu’s lap and Mafuyu’s arm was winding around her middle, pulling her closer. Like this, they could say nothing, heads tilted into one another - just barely bumping - and still remain entirely enamoured with one another's attention.
b. : in comparison with.
| When she was beside Mizuki, Mafuyu always felt strangely at ease. There were never any words that needed to be said, they only needed the soft sound of their breathing to mingle.
c. : on par with.
| And when Mizuki was beside Mafuyu, she felt equal.
2. : not relevant to.
| It was beside the point that they weren’t really equal. (At least according to the whispers around them.) All that mattered was that they were near: together.
Example(s) of ‘beside’ in a sentence:
“She was always beside her friend(?). lover. [Undefined.]”
Mizuki was always hovering around Mafuyu. Like a shadow, she trailed beside her. “Ma-fu-yu,” she whined, enunciating every syllable as though each was something that could draw her even closer. (The fact that their arms were linked at the elbows - their fingers tangled like they were each an extension of the other - was almost irrelevant.) “Pay attention to me.”
“I am,” Mafuyu returned quietly. She pressed a little closer into Mizuki’s side regardless.
C
Comfort
| ˈkəm(p)-fərt |
Verb. (1.)
1. : a feeling that being with the other gave, something not found anywhere else.
a. : to give strength and hope to: cheer.
| What Mafuyu gave to Mizuki. If Mafuyu wasn’t going to shy away from moving forward, then maybe Mizuki could learn to be brave, too. She’d happily follow her just two paces behind.
b. : to ease the grief or trouble of: console.
| What Mizuki did for Mafuyu, when she took her by the hand. It’d been a welcome distraction when she’d tangled their fingers together and led her into SpoJoy Park, but一 More than the act of rollerblading together or watching Mizuki mull over clothing in the hours after, Mafuyu was comforted by the presence of Mizuki herself. Like the rain, in the face of her sunny smile, she’d felt all of her worries melt away.
Noun. (2.)
2. : one that gives or brings comfort.
a. : content.
| What the two of them were with one another.
Example(s) of ‘comfort’ in a sentence:
“She was comforted by the knowledge that someone like her existed.”
When she was with her, she never needed anything else.
D
Date
| ˈdāt |
Noun.
Plural: Dates. Mizuki and Mafuyu had been on several: too many to count on their fingers and toes.
Present Participle: Dating: What they might’ve called what they were doing, if it ever needed a name.
1. : the time at which an event occurs.
a. : the 12th of June.
| The date when Mizuki and Mafuyu stopped being friends and started being something more. They didn’t have a name for it (yet) but it was marked on each of their calendars with a heart. Remembering it evoked a feeling like love.
2. : a social engagement or appointment to meet at a specified time.
a. : sometimes romantic in nature.
| It was an activity that Mafuyu didn’t have any particular feelings toward, until Mizuki.
b. : a person with whom one has a (usually romantic) date.
| Mizuki couldn’t find any meaning in belonging - in being somebody’s date - until Mafuyu.
Example(s) of ‘date’ in a sentence:
“Mizuki asked Mafuyu out on a date.”
She answered the way she always did: with a yes.
Dissect
| dī-ˈsekt |
Verb.
1. : to separate into pieces.
a. : expose the several parts of (something, such as an animal) for scientific examination.
| Under the cautious eyes of those around them, there wasn’t a single thing that they could hide. They both tried, regardless. Mizuki tried not to show that it bothered her, and Mafuyu tried not to let the small cracks in her mask show. (“A-ah! Don’t hug people so suddenly!” she laughed, when what she really meant was, “I hate it when people touch me. Can’t you just leave me alone?”)
2. : to analyze and interpret minutely.
a. : to pick apart.
| It was human nature to judge, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
Example(s) of ‘dissect’ in a sentence:
“She felt as though the other girl was dissecting her with her stare.”
Being near each other had been unpleasant, at first. To be understood meant seeing beyond the mask and beyond the countless lies that had been built up. But一 there was a certain comfort in that, too. As time went on, they began to think it wasn’t as unpleasant as they’d first thought.
(Still. Instead of obsessing over each other's secrets, what they preferred to dissect was the fleeting - though always welcome - moments of their shared happiness. The small but certain curve of Mafuyu’s lips. The creases residing at the corners of Mizuki’s eyes. The slight flush found on either of their cheeks.
They dissected those things so that they could commit them to memory and press the images into their heart like flowers between the pages of a book. They did it to preserve them: make them eternal.)
Distance
| ˈdi-stən(t)s |
Verb. (1.)
1. : to make or maintain a personal or emotional separation from: to place or keep at a distance.
a. : what Mizuki was best at: leaving things far behind.
| It was a little boring sometimes, running alone. She used to wonder if there was anyone who would ever want to run alongside her or simply beg her to stay: if such a person even existed. (Like she did for many other things, she hoped.)
Noun. (2.)
1. : the physical separation between two objects.
a. : Mizuki. | Nightcord. | | Everything else.
| The distance was smaller between them than it was with everything else, but it was not non-existent. It was something Ena hated more than anything else.
2. : a distant point or region.
b. : usually something unreachable.
| Mafuyu often gazed out into the endless expanse of the empty Sekai, her eyes unreadable. Mizuki often gazed at her, wondering what she could be thinking about; wondering if she was measuring how far she could run into the distance, too.
Example(s) of ‘distance’ in a sentence:
“The distance between them was both everything and nothing at all.”
Undefinable. Often close to zero (e.g. when they were cuddling, or when Mizuki held an outfit up to Mafuyu’s body to see how it would look). Sometimes, Mizuki tried to compensate for the rapidly shrinking distance by telling more lies - just enough for her to feel comfortable again - but一
It never worked. The distance only ever shortened.
E
Ephemeral
| i-ˈfe-mə-rəl |
Adjective.
1. : lasting a very short time.
a. : fleeting.
| A length of time comparable to the number of minutes they could bear to spend apart. “Mafuyu,” Mizuki pleaded, tugging gently at her sleeve. “Let’s do something together after school. Just us two.”
“We hung out just yesterday, though.”
“So? I miss you. Don’t you miss me too?”
Example(s) of ‘ephemeral’ in a sentence:
“Mafuyu thought Mizuki was ephemeral; ethereal.”
She was beautiful in the same way a sakura petal dancing atop a warm breeze was. Fleeting but undeniably real as it brushed against her fingertips before being carried someplace else.
Mizuki thought Mafuyu was, too. Any longer, and she feared she might break and vanish without a trace.
Expectation
| ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən |
Noun.
Plural: Expectations. Exhausting.
1. : a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
a. : something Mafuyu followed to lose her identity.
| She hadn’t needed it anyway, right? …Right?
b. : a thing that Mizuki denied to find hers.
| She was happier this way, right? Being alone was better than forcing a label that didn’t fit. A little loneliness was bearable. (She still couldn’t help wondering what was so strange about wanting to be herself, though. Why couldn’t anyone seem to understand her? Was she asking too much?)
Example(s) of ‘expectation’ in a sentence:
“The expectations others held of them were incredibly tiring.”
At least they weren’t something that existed when they were with each other. It was a minor blessing: this small pocket of space where they could simply ‘be.’
F
Filter
| ˈfil-tər |
Noun.
1. : an apparatus for removing impurities.
a. : the thing their words often trickled through.
| Strangely enough, it didn’t seem to happen as much when they were with each other.
Example(s) of ‘filter’ in a sentence:
“She carefully filtered her words so as not to upset anyone.”
Mizuki leaned her head onto Mafuyu’s shoulder. Her skin was especially warm, stained with the sunlight that filtered through the window. “You look cute in this one,” she murmured, angling her phone towards her to show her her wallpaper. In it, her arms were thrown carelessly around Mafuyu’s neck; her lips pressed against Mafuyu’s cheek. She’d added a sticker depicting a pair of fluffy, white cat ears onto her own head, with whiskers on her cheeks to match. Mafuyu’s portrait remained unblemished and perfect.
(Usually, she would’ve added a warm filter, too. Something to hide the tired circles under her eyes. This time, though, she found that she hadn’t really needed to. Mafuyu’s smile - small as it was, like sunlight poking from behind the clouds - was warm enough.)
“You should make it your wallpaper, too,” she suggested.
Mafuyu only tilted her head into her. “Why?”
Mizuki shrugged. “Just because. Don’t you wanna match with me?”
“No, I mean… why do you add so many stickers? You only ever put them on yourself.”
Mizuki paused. She considered the filter obscuring her heart. She tossed it aside. “Because,” she elaborated, watching Mafuyu’s expression from the corner of her eye. When she spoke again, they both knew what her words implied. “Mafuyu’s already cute enough without them. You don’t need to hide behind a filter.”
Mafuyu blinked. She frowned, then looked back at Mizuki’s wallpaper. The furrow of her brow was proof enough that she disagreed, and yet一 She simply pointed at the screen. Maybe something in Mizuki’s tone had suggested she was not to be argued with. “Add some to me too, next time. Then we can match even more.”
(Mizuki nodded quietly. A little stiffly. “Okay,” she said.)
Fawn
| ˈfȯn |
Verb.
1. : to court favour by a cringing or flattering manner.
a. : to show devotion or affection.
→ used especially of a dog: by rubbing against someone.
| Mafuyu’s classmates constantly fawned over her, trying to earn what scraps of her attention they could. Mizuki didn’t need to. All she ever needed was to sit beside her and press their shoulders together.
2. : a trauma response.
b. :a mechanism used to appease others: to avoid conflict and feel safe.
| Mafuyu’s favoured instinct. Where Mizuki preferred to flee, Mafuyu preferred to smooth things over with a smile. If the people around her were happy, then she would be too.
Example(s) of ‘fawn’ in a sentence:
“Mizuki fawned over Mafuyu’s impeccable beauty.”
“You don’t need to do that, you know,” Mafuyu murmured, leaning into Mizuki’s palm. Her voice was quiet, maybe too quiet; frayed slightly around the edges from another tiring day. Even so, the fact that she was here - smoothing over her frown lines with the pads of her fingers and pulling her lips upward - made everything seem worth it.
Mizuki only tilted her head. “Do what?”
“Do… that. You don’t need to praise me for me to love you.”
Her words almost came out as a plea, and Mizuki laughed; loud and beautiful and bright. “Don’t worry,” she assured. “I’m not. I’m saying these things because I love you. Because it’s true.”
(Somehow, when Mizuki was the one telling her that she was pretty - the prettiest thing she’d ever laid eyes on, really - the words were much easier to believe.)
Favourite
| ˈfā-v(ə-)rət |
Noun.
Plural: Favourites. Non-existent. There couldn’t be more than one.
1. : one that is treated or regarded with special favor or liking.
a. : markedly popular (e.g. Mafuyu.)
| Sometimes (often), Mafuyu wished that she wasn’t so favoured. Being favoured meant bearing the weight of everybody’s expectations. Living up to those expectations made you accomplished; gifted; special. And being special was no different than being alone.
(But then again, she didn’t really mind being considered special when it was Mizuki who looked at her that way. Like she’d rob the sky of all its splendor and its stars for her; like she knew that Mafuyu would do the same if she asked. She wondered why.)
Example(s) of ‘favourite’ in a sentence:
“Mizuki’s favourite food was french fries.”
Mafuyu didn’t know what hers was, anymore. When asked, she always claimed that it was her Mother’s homemade meals, but secretly? She preferred the taste of Mizuki’s lip gloss smeared across her mouth after they kissed.
G
Gift
| ˈgift |
Noun.
1. : a notable capacity, talent, or endowment.
a. : an often natural talent.
| If you were to ask Mafuyu’s classmates, they might’ve told you that Mafuyu had a natural talent for both academics and sports. If you asked Mafuyu herself, though, real talent lay in something like this: Mizuki’s innate ability to make anybody feel completely and utterly at ease. Even somebody like her.
2. : something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation.
a. : a present.
| What Mafuyu considered Mizuki’s presence to be, and vice versa. They wondered which of them was better at gift-giving.
Example(s) of ‘gift’ in a sentence:
“To commemorate their anniversary, Mafuyu bought Mizuki a gift.”
She bought her a bouquet of her favorite flowers: a healthy helping of hydrangeas, surrounded by peonies, white roses and lisianthus. The hydrangeas were almost the same shade as her eyes, and yet when Mafuyu pressed her thumb to Mizuki’s cheek to feel her warmth - just beneath her lower lashline - she thought their beauty couldn’t possibly compare to Mizuki herself.
Girlfriend
| ˈgər(-ə)l-ˌfrend |
Noun.
1. : a companion.
a. : with whom they have a romantic relationship.
| What Mizuki and Mafuyu sometimes referred to each other with when asked. It wasn’t something that they’d ever discussed aloud, but maybe they hadn’t needed to. Maybe it was one of those things that was simply understood.
Example(s) of ‘girlfriend’ in a sentence:
“She loved her girlfriend with all of her heart.”
“Mafuyu?”
“Hm?”
“What are we?”
Mafuyu squeezed Mizuki’s hand almost instinctively, and she hummed quietly under her breath. After a few moments, she answered. “I don’t know,” she replied honestly, and her words tapered off into a sigh. “Does it matter?”
“No,” Mizuki giggled, bumping her head against Mafuyu’s and nuzzling into her. “I guess not. All that matters is that we have each other, right?”
H
Honesty
| ˈä-nə-stē |
Noun.
1. : adherence to the facts.
a. : sincerity.
| Foreign. It hadn’t always been, and maybe one day it could be unearthed again; unburied from the myriad of other emotions (like fear) like a flower from the earth.
Example(s) of ‘honesty’ in a sentence:
“She was completely honest with the girl in front of her.”
It wasn’t necessarily because she wanted to be. More often than not, it was because she knew it was pointless: her lies would be seen through no matter how convincingly they were spoken.
Heart
| ˈhärt |
Noun.
Plural: Hearts. When they were together, it never seemed that there was more than one. Their hearts beat in perfect sync: as if they were a singular entity.
1. : a hollow muscular organ maintaining the circulation of the blood.
a. : the essential or most vital part of something.
| At the centre of Nightcord lay the shattered pieces of Mafuyu’s heart. They tried their best to put it back together, but一 hearts were a hollow, fickle thing. When one piece was put back, another fell out of place. The love they poured into it - their desperate attempts to fill it to the brim - was returned to them as though Mafuyu’s heart was an unending reservoir: an endless outpouring of love. She was only ever meant to give, not take.
(Maybe it was for the best. A heart could only function if it was hollow, after all. If it were a solid mass, it’d become unable to hold and move the blood required to deliver oxygen around the body. It would become defective.)
b. : something resembling a heart in shape.
| Mizuki was intimately familiar with the shape of a heart. She drew them onto every photo Niigo took together and pinned them around her vanity, ignoring the fact that her own was hammering away - livelier than it had ever been - against her ribs.
2. : one's innermost character, feelings, or inclinations.
a. : hidden away.
| [An unexpected error occurred. Please try again later.]
Example(s) of ‘heart’ in a sentence:
“The two of them decided to cage away their hearts.”
They’d told themselves it was for their own safety; for their own good. And deep down, they truly believed it was true. Showing your heart implied being vulnerable, and being vulnerable implied something like death.
(And yet somehow, without either of them noticing - another person had slipped between the bars. It was oddly comforting.)
I
Identity
| ī-ˈden-tə-tē |
Noun.
Plural: Identities. Maybe it was normal to have more than one. To be multifaceted and to show whatever side of yourself people wanted to see. Maybe it was arbitrary to try to define or restrict yourself to as few as possible.
1. : the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.
a. : who someone is: the name of a person.
| Something to be forged through blood, sweat and tears. If Mizuki Akiyama’s identity - the one she’d so meticulously crafted - could be described in a single word, it’d be “cute.” Ruffles and ribbons were a staple of it, but一 in a way, so was everything else. Even the lies.
b. : fake.
| Was any of it real anymore? It’d been a long, long time since Mafuyu could tell where ‘Yuki’ ended and her ‘real self’ began. The lines were much too blurred, but一 maybe if she surrounded herself with enough things, she’d be able to find something she liked.
Example(s) of ‘identity’ in a sentence:
“Her real identity was unknown.”
Mizuki, along with the others, tried her best to help her define it. She deftly weaved ribbons into Mafuyu’s hair and tied friendship bracelets around each of their wrists. “See?” she trilled, letting the tips of her fingers ghost along the side of Mafuyu’s jaw. They lingered just enough to cradle her, but not coddle. “Like this, you’ll never have to feel like you’re alone!”
Like this, Mizuki had become a part of her: she’d wormed her way into Mafuyu’s heart.
The same way that Mafuyu had carved out a space in her heart, too. It was the singular part of her identity not purposefully forged. Mizuki loved the thought as much as it terrified her.
Indeterminate
| ˌin-di-ˈtər-mə-nət |
Adjective.
1. : not exactly known, established, or defined.
a. : vague; ambiguous.
| Words used to refer to their relationship. Vague, like the sense of longing that often overcame the two of them: the desire to touch, to be near. Ambiguous - or simply left unsaid - like the meaning of the slightly breathless “I love you’s” they murmured between faint presses of their lips.
(“Why don’t you guys just talk about it already?” Ena grumbled, drumming her fingers impatiently along the side of her jaw. “I don’t get it. Everyone already knows how much you like each other.”)
Example(s) of ‘indeterminate’ in a sentence:
“Their relationship was best described as indeterminate.”
“Maybe she’s right,” Mizuki mused, reaching down to tangle their fingers together. As she smoothed her thumb over the knuckles, she could hardly tell where her limbs ended and Mafuyu’s began. “Maybe we should talk about it.”
Mafuyu only shrugged. “Maybe.”
And for a moment, nothing else was said. Then another. The two of them had never been very good about talking about things.
J
Joke
| ˈjōk |
Noun.
Plural: Jokes. The more personal the subject, the more Mizuki made. Only一 a lot of the time, they didn’t really sound like jokes. They were more like a plea to be heard.
1. : something said or done to provoke laughter.
: a tactic used to try and make Mafuyu smile.
| Usually successful, even if what tilted her lips up at the corners was closer to bemusement than any semblance of joy. Mizuki would take whatever small victories she could.
2. : something not to be taken seriously: a trifling matter.
a. : a prelude or indication that Mizuki was about to redirect the conversation.
| Usually, Mafuyu enjoyed it when Mizuki joked around. Sometimes, though, the laughter that followed sounded a little sad. It tugged at her heartstrings in a deep, aching sort of way.
Example(s) of ‘joke’ in a sentence:
“Mizuki wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted Mafuyu to believe she was telling a joke.”
“Look,” Mizuki cooed, the soft, happy sound of her giggling interrupting almost every word she tried to speak. “The pictures from the photobooth came out so cute! We almost look like a couple, huh?”
Mafuyu tilted her head, but otherwise did not respond.
It was quiet.
Too quiet.
The silence was much too loud.
Mizuki laughed again to try and fill it, but the sound fell flat. It almost came out choked. “Aww, don’t look at me like that!” she tried to tease. She wondered if the weight of Mafuyu’s stare had always felt so unbearably heavy. “I was only joking.”
K
Kiss
| ˈkis |
Verb.
Plural: Kisses. Who knew there were so many ways to show one’s adoration?
1. : to touch (someone or something) with the lips.
a. : especially as a mark of affection or greeting.
| There was almost nothing Mizuki adored more than getting to pepper them across Mafuyu’s face. Short, intermittent bursts of her affection speckled across her cheeks; pressed against her eyelids; the crown of her head. She used to try to avoid Mafuyu’s lips, but一 she supposed there was only so much she could do, when Mafuyu insisted on tugging her towards her mouth by the nape of her neck.
2. : to touch gently or lightly.
a. : often in passing.
| Mafuyu wondered why Mizuki kissed her as though she could disappear at a moment’s notice.
Example(s) of ‘kiss’ in a sentence:
“Hey, Mafuyu? Have you… I don’t know一 ever thought about what it would be like to kiss me?”
As Mizuki spoke, her hand reached to cradle the side of Mafuyu’s jaw and brush against the shell of her ear. They were snuggled together in Mizuki’s bed beneath a blanket that didn’t feel nearly as soft as any of her fleeting touches and close enough for Mafuyu to acknowledge her warmth and feel it between breaths of equal heat; their tangled limbs.
“Well?” she prompted, giggling lightly - almost airily: the kind of way that she giggled to let Mafuyu know that she was growing increasingly nervous. “Um… Aren’t you gonna answer me? You’re kind of quiet.”
Quiet.
Quiet?
Mafuyu blinked. She considered Mizuki’s expression for a moment, and only that. She knew better than anyone, perhaps, that the quiet was something Mizuki found frightening. The silence was a gluttonous beast whose appetite could never be satiated, no matter how many words she offered to appease it.
Still. For Mizuki, she was willing to try. She opened her mouth to speak, to reply and yet一
With the way that Mizuki eyes crinkled at the corners, showing that she wasn’t really upset that Mafuyu hadn’t replied yet - just scared - she looked so effortlessly beautiful that Mafuyu couldn’t think of any better answer than this: surging the remaining distance forward to kiss her within an inch of her life.
Almost instantly, Mizuki’s laughter trailed into a breathless, surprised sort of sound, a delighted trill一 a low, low hum that was growing closer to a whine. Her fingers caught in the shorter hairs surrounding Mafuyu’s ears, pulling her closer, and closer, and closer, still, until Mafuyu wasn’t sure which of them was the one being devoured in the quiet.
Mafuyu swore her devotion - took an oath of allegiance - to her in every repeated press of her lips, tilting her head further into Mizuki’s hand, trying to tell her without words that she was as much Mizuki’s as Mizuki was hers, and when she pulled away一
“Yes,” Mafuyu finally answered. Desperately; urgently; feverishly一 yes, yes, yes.
(Perhaps a kiss was merely a confirmation that they understood.)
L
Lie
| ˈlī |
Verb.
Plural: Lies. She’d told too many to count. She wondered if she could even stop anymore, when they felt as easy to her as breathing.
Present Participle: Lying. What she was currently doing. But at least they’d be able to stay together even just a little bit longer.
1. : to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive.
a. : not always malicious. sometimes told for the sake of another person.
| “I’m okay, I promise.”
2. : to be or to stay at rest in a horizontal position.
a. : usually more comfortable when a cute girl’s lap is available (according to Mizuki).
| Mafuyu’s fingers traced gently over Mizuki’s cheeks as they lay side by side. She allowed herself to feel every small dip in the skin; every tiny imperfection that couldn’t be seen anywhere but up close, her nails scratching lightly against the skin. “You’re so pretty,” she murmured, fingertips dipping down and toward the edge of Mizuki’s mouth to feel her smile. Her unrestrained joy at the praise.
Only一 Mizuki wasn’t smiling. Not really, at least. Whatever one she was wearing didn’t quite reach her eyes. “You always say that,” she teased, and when she averted her eyes, Mafuyu wondered why she made it sound like she didn’t believe her.
3. be, remain, or be kept in a specified state.
a. : stagnant.
| It didn’t matter that the scissors were already in her hands. To Mizuki, remaining suspended was far less scary than simply cutting the strings, not knowing where she could land.
Example(s) of ‘lie’ in a sentence:
“Mizuki asked Mafuyu to lie next to her so they could look at the stars.”
“Here一 look down, past Orion’s belt. No, no一 not that far! A little more up, and to the left. There, see?”
Mafuyu squinted and followed the direction of Mizuki’s finger. There was a cascade of light above the two of them: an endless splatter of stars sparkling from millions of miles away. She’d never thought there was any point in defining them before, but一 now that Mizuki had pointed it out to her, there was one that seemed a lot brighter than the rest. She inhaled softly at the sight. “Oh. That one?”
“Mhm!” Mizuki nodded cheerfully. The excitement in her voice was as obvious as the pink staining her cheeks, and Mafuyu found a smile of her own creeping onto her lips as she stared at the skies above. “It’s called一”
“Sirius. It’s part of the constellation Canis Major. I know that much.”
From the corner of her eye, Mafuyu noticed Mizuki sticking her tongue out at her. “Oh, but actually finding it was too much for you, huh? Am I that horrible at explaining things?”
Mafuyu pretended to mull over her accusation. “Maybe. Or maybe I just like the sound of your voice,” she murmured. It was half of the truth. She didn’t bother to mention the other reason for her distraction: the way her gaze had consistently flitted to the girl beside her.
Mizuki squealed in delight. “You’re such a flirt!” she cooed. She squeezed Mafuyu’s hand lightly, just enough to garner Mafuyu’s attention again. Just enough to have her heart thumping softly against her ribs, a little faster than it had before. “I’ve wanted to look at it together with you for a while now, y'know? Cause it kinda reminds me of you.”
Mafuyu frowned. She continued looking toward the constellation Mizuki had directed her focus towards, trying to figure out what was so special about it. Simply looking gave her no answers, though. The star only continued to gleam, and so she tilted her head and asked, “Why?”
“Cause!” Mizuki insisted, as if it were obvious. She reached across the small - almost non-existent - gap between them to pinch Mafuyu’s cheek between her forefinger and thumb. “You’re basically a giant puppy, too! It’s adorable.”
I’m not, Mafuyu wanted to protest, but一 didn’t. Couldn’t, really, when she turned away from the sky to look at her - just her - if only for a moment. “Is that the only reason?” she asked instead.
Mizuki merely hummed. “Who knows?” she sighed. “And一 hey! You’re supposed to be looking at the stars, not me.” She nudged her gently in the side with her elbow and smiled, her eyes lit with stardust; luminous and alluring.
“I’m looking,” Mafuyu murmured back, though her gaze never once left Mizuki’s.
(And when she pressed a faint kiss to the corner of Mizuki’s lips in the moments after, she tried not to think about the brilliance of the star Mizuki had likened her to, nor what its brightness implied: the slow but imminent implosion of a heavenly body.)
Lyric
| ˈlir-ik |
Noun.
1. : the words of a song in music.
a. : often: a way for Mafuyu to express her feelings.
| Her lyrics were dark, unsettling, without a single touch of warmth, and yet一 Mizuki couldn’t help but feel that she understood. That desperation; that incessant need to shut everyone and everything else out to prevent yourself from getting hurt.
Example(s) of ‘lyric’ in a sentence:
“Unlilke Mafuyu’s lyrics, Kanade’s songs always held a touch of warmth.”
But sometimes, even a touch could feel like it was scalding.
M
Mannequin
| ˈma-ni-kən |
Noun.
1. : an artist's, tailor's, or dressmaker's lay figure.
a. : a form (most often resembling a human’s) whose only purpose is to be dressed up and made pretty.
| Nobody wants to look at something unsightly.
Example(s) of ‘mannequin’ in a sentence:
“She dressed the mannequin up in all the things that she liked.”
In ruffles and ribbons and corsets and frills, all in various shades of pink.
Sewing had always been a hobby of hers. She liked feeling the fabric between her fingers and visualizing what they could become. A single thread couldn’t stand out on its own, but if you weaved them deliberately and systematically, you could intertwine them to create something beautiful. Likewise, she hoped that the tapestry - the immaculate tangle - of her lies could form the foundation for something far more solid.
Marionette
| ˌmer-ē-ə-ˈnet |
Noun.
1. : a puppet worked by strings.
a. : a form (most often resembling a human’s) whose only purpose is to be controlled by others.
| Nobody has any need for a doll that won’t do as it's told.
Example(s) of ‘marionette’ in a sentence:
“Looking at the life-sized marionette made her feel sick.”
It reminded her too much of herself. It hurt to even think about, but… Miku had taught her that strings could easily be cut and turned into something else. They could be used to tie things together, do needlework, or create shapes like in cat’s cradle.
A marionette without strings wasn’t exactly a marionette anymore, it was little more than a useless doll to be tossed aside, but一
Even that had its benefits.
Dolls didn’t have anything expected of them, after all. Doll was a term of endearment; it was somebody who could be loved regardless of their usefulness, and a marionette without strings was also free.
Mutual
| ˈmyü-chə-wəl |
Adjective.
1. : something held in common by two or more people.
a. : a shared feeling. (e.g. love.)
| Shared, like the heat of each other’s breaths fanning across their lips in the moments after a kiss. The air they breathed was one and the same. They gulped it down greedily, like each was something to be stolen; like this was a moment they couldn’t get back.
Example(s) of ‘mutual’ in a sentence:
“Their relationship was built off of mutual understanding.”
“Mafuyu,” Mizuki mumbled, breathing out syllables between each press of their lips. Somewhere in the minutes between her sitting on Mafuyu’s lap to properly stare into her eyes - to cup her face in her hands and marvel over the fact that the entire world was held between her palms - and when she’d pulled her forward into a kiss, her voice had turned into a wispy, breathless thing.
It wasn’t hard to guess why, either. Like every other inhale before it, Mafuyu had stolen it away. “Mafuyu,” she repeated, kissing her again as if comfort was something she could press into the skin; her lips. “Mafuyu, I love you. I love you so much.”
Mafuyu's response was easy as it was instantaneous, and equally as breathless.
“Mizuki,” she murmured back; affectionate and tender as she pressed another kiss against her lips. “I love you, too.”
N
Notoriety
| ˌnō-tə-ˈrī-ə-tē |
Noun.
1. : the quality or state of being famous.
a. : especially for some bad quality or deed.
| Was what she was doing really so bad? She’d never asked for this.
Example(s) of ‘notoriety’ in a sentence:
“She gained notoriety for things out of her control.”
For Mafuyu, notoriety was synonymous with being ‘worthy of love.’ To feel the tenderness of affection implied having to do things that she hated. But一 surely she hadn’t expected to receive it without bending to the whims of others every now and again, right?
For Mizuki, notoriety was merely a consequence of doing the things that she loved. Despite the harshness of their eyes as they looked at her; the loathing一 or maybe pity? that they addressed her with, she couldn’t help but believe that it was worth it. She only had to remind herself every now and then that she didn’t mind being lonely.
Nurse
| ˈnərs |
Noun.
1. : a person who cares for the sick or infirm.
a. : a dream that was rejected long, long ago.
| But一 why? Wasn’t it enough to simply want to make the people around her happy, too?
Example(s) of ‘nurse’ in a sentence:
“She excitedly told her mother she wanted to become a nurse.”
Her mother only frowned and placed her half-filled teacup in front of her. “Is that so,” she hummed. She didn’t seem particularly upset, but一 “If you really want to help those who are sick, there are even better jobs than that, you know.”
Mafuyu blinked. When she tried to inhale, nothing came. Not even a whisper of air was allowed into her lungs. Not past the lump in her throat that prevented her speech.
“Huh?”
Her mother hummed again, quieter this time but just as definitive. Like the decision had already been made. Like it was out of Mafuyu’s hands. “Being a nurse is wonderful, but… if you're going to get into medicine, why not become a doctor instead?”
(Mafuyu had become overtly familiar with the word ‘but.’ It was a complete and utter rejection of her ‘self.’)
O
Obsession
| äb-ˈse-shən |
Noun.
1. : a persistent preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.
a. : often disturbing.
| “Hey, Mafuyu!” Mizuki gushed, holding a matching blouse and skirt up to her body and striking a pose. “Don’t you think these suit me a little too well? Aren’t I adorably cute?”
Example(s) of ‘obsession’ in a sentence:
“Mizuki had an obsession with everything cute.”
That included Mafuyu, too.
Okay
| ō-ˈkā |
Noun. (1.)
1. : approval or endorsement.
a. : acceptance.
| Something desperately sought after: a word that left Mizuki’s lips again and again and again. (“Does this skirt look okay?” “How about me this dress?” “Do you think the music video turned out okay?” “Are we okay?”)
A kind of validation that was often just out of reach.
b. : reassurance.
| Sometimes, verbal confirmation wasn’t needed. Sometimes, the proof of being ‘okay’ lay in the subtler details, like the coolness of Mafuyu’s palm against her own as she squeezed her hand, or the gentle smile that was tugged onto her lips whenever Mizuki said something particularly outrageous. Sometimes, ‘okay’ wasn’t even an action. It was a belief. It was simply the hope that it was or that it would be.
Adjective. (1.)
1. : satisfactory.
a. : something to be said when everything isn’t.
| If a lie was spoken enough times - or maybe spoken with enough conviction to be believed - then maybe it could become the truth.
Example(s) of ‘okay’ in a sentence:
“She wiped away her tears and told her everything would be okay.”
Somehow, with the pad of Mizuki’s thumb pressed against the corner of her eye, and the radiant smile that was directly only at her, she truly believed that it already was.
P
Parallel
| ˈper-ə-ˌlel |
Adjective.
Plural: Parallels. It was almost no wonder they felt so comfortable with one another with such strong similarities.
1. : extending in the same direction, everywhere equidistant.
a. : never meeting.
| Distant, but still close enough for comfort; to keep one another company.
Example(s) of ‘parallel’ in a sentence:
“The two were like parallel lines.”
They ran alongside each other: identical in every way. The distance between them was small - so small it was almost indiscernible - but still they did not intersect. They did not cross one another’s boundaries or push for more beyond what was comfortable.
Q
Quiver
| ˈkwi-vər |
Noun. (1.)
1. : a case for carrying or holding arrows.
a. : an essential part of a calming technique.
| Whenever Mafuyu felt uneasy, or imperfect, or like the walls were closing in around her, she drew an arrow and let her worries fall in slow drifts like the snow around her. Somehow, it made her hate everything a little less.
Verb. (2.)
2. : to shake or move with a slight trembling motion.
a. : often: Mizuki’s lower lip.
| “Hey… Mafuyu? Do you ever… Ah一 Actually, never mind. It’s nothing!”
Example(s) of ‘quiver’ in a sentence:
“She tried not to let her voice quiver.”
To Mizuki, there was nothing scarier than having to admit how you felt. Revealing bits and pieces of yourself; of the truth was something similar to offering a scrap of meat to a hungry wolf. Once words had been said, they could never be taken back or unheard, only devoured, and she could only wait and hope that they wouldn’t get too torn apart or misconstrued by the teeth scraping along her palms, begging for more.
(Despite it all, the fear一 she could never quite stop herself from entertaining the thought of simply telling them.)
R
Real
| ˈrē(-ə)l |
Adjective.
1. : having objective independent existence.
a. : to exist regardless of perception or awareness.
| It didn’t particularly matter to her what they said about her. No一 that wasn’t quite right. It did matter, of course it did, it hurt, but even so, she would continue to exist in spite of it.
2. : not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory.
a. : genuine.
| Mafuyu’s feelings for Mizuki. Of that much, she was certain.
Example(s) of ‘real’ in a sentence:
“Somehow一 somewhere along the way, Mizuki began to yearn for something real.”
Mizuki flexed her fingers, bringing them towards her palm before extending them outward again. It had to have been over an hour since Mafuyu’s palm had been pressed flat against her own, and yet fleeting traces of her weight and her warmth remained: proof of her existence. Their existence, and一
Quietly, she wondered when exactly it was that the two of them had become something so indisputably real. Was it the moment Mafuyu’s lips pressed to hers, or before?
S
Secret
| ˈsē-krət |
Noun.
Plural: Secrets. Mizuki had just the one. She didn’t know if it was even possible to carry more, when this one felt so unbearably heavy.
1. : something kept hidden or unexplained.
a. : sometimes shared confidentially with a few.
| Not yet, though. She just needed一 time, maybe, or a reason to believe that she’d be allowed to stay.
Example(s) of ‘secret’ in a sentence:
“Mizuki swore that she wouldn’t reveal her secret.”
It was always there; ever-present and growing larger and heavier by the day. Lingering between them and latching onto the rare, awkward moments of silence between them. It fed on her insecurities; whispered into her ear things like, “See? Did you see the look she just gave you?” or, “Do you really believe that? How foolish; how sweet.”
But一 if Mafuyu could ignore it and continue to croon sweet nothings into her ear that would drown out the noise, then so could Mizuki. They didn’t need to talk about it to feel comfortable with one another. They didn’t.
Snow
| ˈsnō |
Noun.
1. : precipitation in the form of small white ice crystals.
a. : formed directly from water vapor at a temperature of less than 0°C.
| Fleeting and quick to melt or vanish, like the moments where Mafuyu could disappear into herself and cease to exist.
Example(s) of ‘snow’ in a sentence:
Mafuyu wished the snow wasn’t bound to winter. That it could last forever and ever. Then, everything would become buried beneath an endless blanket of white: even her.
String
| ˈstriŋ |
Noun.
1. : a cord usually used to bind, fasten, or tie.
a. : hopefully not tight enough to become painful.
| Sometimes, Mizuki imagined taking a pair of scissors and snipping what bound them together. More often - like in the times she was nestled against Mafuyu’s side - she imagined placing them aside and simply letting them be. She wondered which of the two options would be more painful in the end.
b. : sometimes attached to things. (i.e. an instrument or a puppet: a vessel.)
| But一 hadn’t the strings already been cut? Why did it still hurt? Why could she still feel the strands digging into her neck?
→ see also : red string of fate.
| A legend about an invisible red cord tying together those destined for one another, regardless of circumstance. Mizuki could never decide if having one would feel exhilarating or terrifying. She’d be free to exist as she pleased yet tethered by the knowledge that there was somebody out there in the world meant just for her.
Example(s) of ‘string’ in a sentence:
“Staring at their interlocked pinkies, she imagined an unseeable red string connecting them together.”
Mizuki never mentioned the fact that her mind often wandered to the thought of strings tied tight around their littlest fingers, entangling their fates. It was one of her smaller, less important secrets: nothing Mafuyu would ever get mad at her for if she ever found out. She could hardly even count it as a secret, really.
Regardless, when their fingers were interlaced - just like they were now - she would sometimes take it upon herself to shift her hand backwards and tug. Only ever lightly, just enough to imagine that she was pulling on Mafuyu’s end of the string, pulling her closer; quietly pleading for them to stay connected. For Mafuyu to stay, please stay.
She did the same now.
And一 like always, Mafuyu turned to look at her - like she was more than happy to follow along with her whims - and the adorable tilt of her head (the one that seemed to ask, “What’s wrong?”) caused wave after wave of endless, unwavering affection to crash through Mizuki’s chest.
So, she leaned forward; squeezed their pinkies a little tighter, like she was making a promise. This time, there wasn’t any imaginary red string guiding her forward. She was doing this simply because she wanted to. “I adore you,” she whispered against Mafuyu’s lips.
And Mafuyu angled her head again, this time to avoid bumping their noses together when they kissed, and replied with an equally as fervent, “I adore you too.”
T
Today
| tə-ˈdā |
Adverb.
1. : on or for this day.
a. : at the present time
| Something to be savoured.
Example(s) of ‘today’ in a sentence:
“She waited impatiently for whatever today might bring.”
Pondering about the day ahead always left Mizuki feeling一 restless. Nervous, almost. She would do anything just for a day, or even a second longer with them, after all, and each one wasted was one that could never be returned to her. Each one spent was another lingering glance or another whispered word behind her back; another opportunity for Niigo to find out the ugly, unwanted truth.
Sometimes, in the quieter moments, she wondered instead just how many hours, days一 months she’d spend calculating the amount of fun she could cram into a single moment with them. How many activities she’d planned, desperate to collect as many memories as she possibly could before the sand in the hourglass fell to one side.
She never wondered for long, though.
Today wasn’t something to be wasted, after all. She’d much rather spend it thinking about the happier things in her life. Like Mafuyu, for example.
Tomorrow
| tə-ˈmär-(ˌ)ō |
Adverb.
1. : on or for the day after today.
a. : the near future.
| Uncertain.
Example(s) of ‘tomorrow’ in a sentence:
“She wondered if tomorrow would ever come.”
The minutes ahead seemed endless; relentless. But一 oddly enough, they seemed to drag a little less whenever Mizuki was with her. If anything, time seemed to speed up, rather than slow down - not unlike the heavy rhythm of her pulse - seconds slipping through her fingers like sand.
In a way, it almost made the more tedious moments of her life seem inconsequential. Maybe even worth it, when the path she’d been walking along had guided her to a place she could finally call home. When tomorrow - or maybe just the promise of another day; a future with her - was finally within her reach.
U
Unnecessary
| ˌən-ˈne-sə-ˌser-ē |
Adjective.
1. : not needed.
a. : worthless.
| Something neither of them could possibly be. Not when they so desperately needed each other.
Example(s) of ‘unnecessary’ in a sentence:
“There were a lot of things deemed unnecessary in their relationship.”
Words were left unspoken, and secrets remained unseen. Things like that had never been needed - not for them to understand one another, nor for them to love - but一 Mizuki was beginning to realise that burdens were always, always lighter once shared. Maybe the distance had become unnecessary, too.
Quietly, she leaned her head atop Mafuyu’s shoulder. She sank into the comfort of it and sighed heavily, like she trusted her implicitly with the weight of it all; like she knew, by now, that it wouldn’t be too heavy a cross for Mafuyu to bear.
“Mm, Mafuyu?”
As if tugged forward by a string, Mafuyu’s head turned towards her. She wasn’t frowning, exactly, but she was curious. They’d spent enough time together that Mizuki could tell at a glance. “What is it?”
Mizuki merely shook her head, nuzzling into her neck. “No, no, it’s nothing,” she replied, and for once一 for once, she meant it. “Not really, at least.” She took a moment to breathe and to wrap her elbow around Mafuyu’s like a vice. She wrinkled her nose “I’ve just been thinking. Not now, but…”
When words failed her; when the slight spike of fear caused her breathing to hitch, Mafuyu prompted her to continue. She tugged her along like Mizuki was just as attached to her as she was to Mizuki. (Though一 wasn’t that the way it’d always been?)
“But?”
“Not now,” Mizuki repeated. “But一 soon. Soon, I’d like to tell you something. Would you be willing to hear me out?”
Mafuyu hummed. “Of course,” she murmured, angling her head to press her lips to the crown of her head, then lower. One to her forehead: a promise, or maybe assurance. “I don’t mind if there’s things you don’t want to tell me, though.”
Mizuki could only laugh. She turned her head more into Mafuyu’s neck to muffle the loudness of the sound. “I know,” she mumbled into her skin. “I want to, though. I do. So, please一 just wait a little longer for me.”
After all, when Mafuyu looked at her like that, like she adored her; like she belonged, it almost made Mizuki wonder why she’d ever been afraid in the first place.
V
Vast
| ˈvast |
Adjective.
1. : of very great extent or quantity.
a. : immense.
| Like the endless expanse of the empty sekai, or their love.
Example(s) of ‘vast’ in a sentence:
“The amount of love in her heart was as vast as the sea.”
“Hmm… Mafuyu?”
“Yes?”
“How much do you love me?”
Mafuyu blinked, almost in surprise. It wasn’t often that Mizuki asked such questions or so blatantly searched for some kind of quantity or proof to define it. Usually, she was much more subtle about it. She didn’t necessarily mind this newer, more demanding version of Mizuki, though, and so she simply hummed against her lips, savouring the giggles it enticed out of the girl in front of her. “If you’d like me to show you, I’d have to stand much further away,” she said seriously, drawing away to lift Mizuki’s hand to her mouth, brushing her lips against the knuckles. “Is that okay with you?”
She was only joking, of course. The space between them could never be enough to show her how much she loved her: no amount of distance could ever compare. Holding her arms out as wide as she could would only be an insult to the sheer volume of love in her heart.
Mizuki’s laughter only rose in volume, and she squealed, utterly delighted. “No, no!” she exclaimed - giggles punctuating every word as she lightly slapped Mafuyu’s upper arm. “You’re not going anywhere! I forbid it. I’d miss you too much, so stay, please. Just一 Stay.”
Her words couldn’t have been more obviously intended to tease, and yet一 there was a certain urgency to them, too. Something that almost made it seem as though she was begging, like the glint to her eyes that admitted she truly wanted nothing more.
Luckily, Mafuyu was happy to oblige.
“Oh?” she mused, raising an eyebrow. “You forbid it, huh? Then一 how else should I prove my devotion, your highness?”
Mizuki didn’t need to answer her. Not really一 not when Mafuyu knew the answer she’d provide long before it ever molded the shape of her lips. They’d always been experts on understanding what hadn’t been said, after all. Nothing had ever needed to be spoken aloud before, and Mafuyu doubted that was something that would ever change.
Still, though. That didn’t stop Mizuki from replying, nor Mafuyu from leaning in close just to hear the cadence of her voice when she hummed, the sound light and melodic and every bit as beautiful as Mizuki herself. “Hmm,” she pretended to think, trailing her index finger down Mafuyu’s nose, dragging; lingering across her lips before shifting down towards her chin. “I might know a way or two. Don’t you?”
Mafuyu did. So, she inched forward, just enough to feel Mizuki’s breath mingle with her own. “I might,” she echoed, feigning ignorance to the bitter end, even as the distance between them became anything but vast.
Veil
| ˈvāl |
Noun.
1. : a concealing curtain or cover of cloth.
a. : meant to obscure or protect.
| From what, though? She couldn’t remember. Here, in Mafuyu’s embrace, Mizuki couldn’t feel anything other than completely and utterly safe.
b. : sometimes worn over the face (e.g. a bridal veil.)
| There was only one person in the entire world she could imagine - could possibly want - lifting it.
Example(s) of ‘veil’ in a sentence:
“She draped the white, fluffy blanket over her head and pretended it was a veil.”
“So?” Mizuki giggled, holding the two ends of the blanket just beneath her chin, not quite close enough to touch. “Is this close to what you were imagining?”
Mafuyu only hummed. Gently, she took Mizuki’s wrists between her fingers, guiding them forward; closer, until the blanket had partially obscured them both. “Sort of,” she mumbled. “I still think I’d prefer seeing you in a real one, though.”
(Later, she’d wonder why something she’d mentioned on a whim felt just as binding as the real thing.)
She was painfully aware of how she almost sounded like she was sulking, and Mizuki - endlessly amused - leaned forward to kiss the tip of her nose, laughing.
Mafuyu tilted her head. “What?”
Mizuki stared at her as if it were obvious. “What do you mean, what?” she asked, incredulous but still laughing. “Don’t you think we should, I don’t know一” leaning in again, Mizuki’s breath was warm enough to burn as she nuzzled her nose to Mafuyu’s cheek. Warm enough for heat to imprint on both of their cheeks.
“Start a little smaller?” she suggested. Her words were spoken so softly that they could barely be heard. The intimacy of their embrace was the only thing that allowed it. “I mean, you haven’t even… you know. Gotten me a ring yet.”
It was rare for Mizuki to sound so uncharacteristically shy.
It was even rarer for Mafuyu to back down. “Then I’ll get you one,” she insisted stubbornly. “Whichever one you’d like.”
Mizuki’s breathing hitched. Mafuyu heard her swallow. “You haven’t asked me to be your girlfriend yet, either,” she said quietly. “Aren’t you still missing a couple steps?”
Mafuyu tilted her head in consideration. She’d never really realised it before一 just how long they’d let the question remain unsaid. It’d always been something assumed; something obvious and inevitable: their happy ending. Had Mizuki always been waiting like this for her to just一 ask?
“Would you like me to?” she questioned, releasing one of Mizuki’s wrists to tilt her head by the chin to face her. Just to be certain. Just to admire the bright, bright pink that extended all the way to her ears.
And when Mizuki nodded bashfully, her eyes averted and a wobbly smile tugging at the corners of her lips, she finally, finally did.
Vein
| ˈvān |
Noun.
1. : blood vessel.
a. : any of the tubular branching vessels that carry blood from the capillaries toward the heart.
| The proof that someone was alive.
Example(s) of ‘vein’ in a sentence:
“She lovingly traced the tips of her fingers along a visible vein.”
Mafuyu had always had a strange fascination with them. For as long as she could remember, for reasons she couldn’t explain, she liked seeing the tangled lines of blue and purple beneath the skin.
Blissfully, she ghosted her fingers up and down Mizuki’s arms, staring almost adoringly at what lay beneath and pressing them down when she reached the inside of Mizuki’s wrist. When she felt her radial artery pulse and shift, she smiled. Maybe this was why she liked it so much: she simply liked the proof that the person in front of her was as real as she was. That in this way, too: they were the same.
“You’re beautiful,” she mumbled, sounding drunk, almost一 on Mizuki’s attention. Her unwavering affection when she regarded her with a gaze so gentle it almost ached. “Have I told you that before?”
She hoped that she had.
Mizuki only laughed, though, and Mafuyu lightened her hold on Mizuki’s wrist to resume the same up-down pattern her fingers had been moving in before. “You have,” she confirmed, and一 Instantly, Mafuyu’s fingers stilled. She sighed, leaning forward to rest her head against Mizuki’s shoulder; her ear close to her throat - the carotid artery - to listen to the way her heart thump, thump, thumped.
“You have,” Mizuki repeated, reaching up to stroke her hand along the top of Mafuyu’s head. “But never quite like this. You’re pretty weird, Mafuyu,” she teased, and as usual, her words didn’t hold any malice. She was merely pointing out the facts; an observation.
“I know,” Mafuyu mumbled. “You love me anyways.”
And rather than words, the lightness of Mizuki’s shoulders when she laughed was more than enough to let her know that she did.
W
Warmth
| ˈwȯrm(p)th |
Noun.
1. : the quality, state or sensation of being warm.
a. : usually moderate heat.
| Could moderate really be used to describe the way she felt? The warmth that lit her cheeks in rosy hues felt far more intense, something like pressing her finger against a hot stove.
2. : enthusiasm, affection, or kindness.
a. : something Mizuki was full of.
| And for that, Mafuyu was grateful. She wondered if she could ever repay her.
Example(s) of ‘warmth’ in a sentence:
“Warmth filled her chest at the sight.”
Familiar and boundless. Even when she closed her eyes, all she could see or think about was her. Her smile, her eyes, her manner of brightening a room simply by existing. Her, her, her.
Her Mizuki.
Beautiful, warm, brilliant Mizuki.
Quietly, she opened her eyes, though only a fraction. Just enough to catch a glimpse of curls the same colour as the cherry blossoms and eyes of the same shade. And that smile一 that smile. Oh, how Mafuyu adored it. She would never tire of seeing something so endlessly fond adorning her features. She hoped she could always be the reason for its presence.
Mizuki's smile grew the tiniest bit wider and she swiped her thumb over Mafuyu’s cheek. She let it linger just beneath her ear, rubbing soothing circles into the skin. “Well?” she whispered, her smile every bit as soft as her lap felt to lay and relax on. “How is it?”
“Relaxing.”
Mizuki laughed. “I’m glad then. And… you?”
Mafuyu opened her eyes. Fully, this time, and her brows pinched together. “What do you mean?”
“I’m asking about you, silly. Are you happy?”
Mafuyu’s frown only deepened. She almost wanted to reach up to pinch Mizuki’s cheek; to tell her she was ridiculous for even asking. “Isn’t that obvious?” she replied instead. She could never be anything but utterly gentle when it came to the girl she loved. “I have you.”
X
X-ray
| ˈeks-ˌrā |
Noun.
1. : an electromagnetic wave of high energy and very short wavelength.
a. : able to pass through many materials opaque to light.
| If something was hidden away - whether it be beneath a layer of skin or behind a smile - then it was only a matter of time before it was revealed.
Example(s) of ‘X-ray’ in a sentence:
“The doctors X-rayed her chest. They didn’t find any broken ribs, only a heart beating rapidly in fear.”
Mizuki abhorred the concept of forcefully revealing what had been left unseen. If the curtains were drawn, then that’s how they should remain. If the threads of ribbon were all tangled, why bother to unravel them? There were much better uses of one’s time.
Or一 that was how she used to think, at least.
Now, she wasn’t so sure.
And as she drew back her curtains to invite the warmth of the sun, she supposed that it didn’t particularly matter. Mafuyu didn’t really need a fancy tool - had never needed one, really - to understand her. Not when she’d gotten close enough to hear Mizuki’s heartbeat thumping against her chest, just as rapidly as her own.
Y
Yearn
| ˈyərn |
Verb.
1. : to long or wish strongly and persistently.
a. : typically for something that one has been separated from or that is unattainable.
| Perhaps from afar it seemed like she was unattainable: an unreachable entity. Here, bundled in blankets and wrapped in each other’s company, though, she was anything but.
Example(s) of ‘yearn’ in a sentence:
“Even with her fingers threaded through the gaps the other girl’s left, Mizuki couldn’t help but yearn.”
Silently, she wondered just when she’d grown so greedy; so comfortable with the presence of another that she found herself seeking more than she already had. She’d never thought she’d be allowed this much, and now that she had it? She wanted more. She wanted to continue feeling so irrevocably, lastingly loved.
She wanted Mafuyu.
So, she squeezed her hand to let her know. Mafuyu squeezed back instantly - her smile as gentle as they came when she turned toward her - and Mizuki took that as an indication to lean in. “I want to kiss you,” she told her, because even though Mafuyu had told her she only ever needed to ask if there was something she wanted, she suspected it didn’t apply to this. Not when they’d shared more than she could count.
The slight tilt of Mafuyu’s head indicated that she was right. She couldn’t seem to fathom why she’d even thought to mention it, as her body responded by making the first move: her free hand reaching to cup her cheek almost protectively.
“Then kiss me,” she murmured back, and that was all that it took.
Yes
| ˈyes |
Adverb.
1. : used as a function word to express assent or agreement.
a. : something often murmured to assure Mizuki.
| Yes, as in she’d run with her, and never from her. Yes, as in she loved her with all her heart and yes, she always, always would, until the day that she died. How could she possibly not?
Example(s) of ‘yes’ in a sentence:
“The answer to any of her questions was always a resounding ‘yes.’”
Mizuki laughed loudly at her response. “You can’t just say that every time I ask you something, you know!” she giggled, hiding the wideness of her smile behind her hand. “I’m gonna start thinking you don’t really mean it.”
Mafuyu frowned. “But I do,” she wanted to say. She did mean it, so why was she suddenly being forbidden from saying it? Yes was a full sentence, and she intended on utilizing it as often as she could to make the girl in front of her happy: the happiest in the entire world. All that left her mouth, though, was an indignant huff.
Mizuki pressed her lips against hers briefly to appease her. And maybe just a little because she enjoyed seeing the way that Mafuyu’s mouth twitched the instant she pulled away.
“I don’t say things I don’t mean,” Mafuyu muttered, even so. At least一 not around Niigo, she didn’t. It’d taken time to try and unlearn all of her previous habits, and she was thankful they’d been so endlessly patient with her. Offering her honesty and her vulnerability was one of the few, small ways she could think of repaying them. It wasn’t enough - nothing ever seemed like it would be - but it was a start.
“I know, I know,” Mizuki soothed, laughing as she pinched lightly at her cheek. “Don’t grumble so much, or I’ll have to tell Ena that she’s rubbing off on you.”
And一 for a moment after that, she grew quiet.
With how distant her gaze seemed, Mafuyu almost wanted to ask what she was thinking about. She didn’t have to, though, when the very next second of silence was filled by a question. One Mizuki had obviously been thinking about for quite a while.
“Then…” she started, and Mafuyu stared at her features; the soft, relaxed lines of her smile and the movement of her throat as she swallowed in endless adoration. She was so unbelievably lucky to have her. She made a note to tell her so later.
“What about the stuff you said before?” Mizuki asked. “About getting me a ring and… everything else?”
Mafuyu thought the answer should’ve been obvious. She didn’t even have to blink before her mouth opened to spill the reply that rested at the tip of her tongue, eager to escape and let itself be known. She’d do anything for Mizuki, after all. Anything she ever wanted, she only ever needed to ask.
Her answer was simple.
“Yes.”
Z
Zero
| ˈzir-(ˌ)ō |
Noun.
1. : the absence of a measurable quantity.
a. : none, like the distance between them.
| If it’s immeasurable一 did it even exist, anymore? They supposed not.
2. : the number before one.
b. : symbolizing the end.
| Or maybe, just the beginning.
Example(s) of ‘zero’ in a sentence:
“The distance between them was finally, finally zero. Maybe it had been for a while, and they simply hadn’t noticed until now.”
Beneath the early light; the steady stream of sun sneaking through their bedroom window, Mizuki was perfect.
Last night, and the morning before, too— she was perfect. For every day that they spent together, she could never be anything but. She would always be the most beautiful thing Mafuyu had ever laid eyes on; her favourite sight to wake up to in the mornings. It was hard for her to believe, sometimes, that there was ever a moment where Mizuki believed that she wasn’t, when - to her - it was a simple fact. One as obvious as the colour of the sky.
Still, though.
There was something— different; something new about the sight in front of her now: Mizuki in almost nothing but an oversized shirt (one of Mafuyu’s oversized shirts, her mind unhelpfully supplied) one of the shoulders slipping off to reveal her bare skin to the rising sun. It was a far cry from the fluffy pink and white pajamas that she normally dedicated a part of her nightly routine to, but last night, Mizuki had been tired. So tired that Mafuyu had had to carry her to bed, and she’d grabbed the first familiar thing she could.
Mafuyu didn’t dislike it, though.
In fact, it was just the opposite.
She sank a little deeper into the arm trapped beneath her to admire Mizuki further, and with all of her heart— she loved. She loved her. And as her hand reached to cusp Mizuki’s jaw; holding the entirety of her world in her palm and inhaling the delicate scent of her cherry blossom perfume, she shut her eyes to wish that she could live in this moment; live with Mizuki, forever.
She’d do just about anything to have this moment last, even if every day afterward promised one just like it. She sighed, softly - more than a little happily - and opened her eyes again to let her thumb smooth over Mizuki’s cheek, bare of any makeup. It didn’t matter how many years passed, it seemed. She would never tire of this.
‘I love you,’ she thought, utterly content.
It wasn’t a particularly startling revelation. In fact, as she watched Mizuki stir slightly, to groggily greet her with a soft, mumbled, “Good morning,” that made her heart flutter like petals in the breeze, she realised it was simply admission of what she’d already known. Something she’d always felt in her heart to be true.
"I love you," she repeated out loud.
Just to be sure that Mizuki knew, and because she could never say it enough.
And— Mizuki’s eyes opened fully, without hesitation. Mafuyu wondered if she could see the reflection of her smile in her irises. “Huh—?” Mizuki started, then stopped, swallowing. She dipped her head quietly, leaning her cheek into Mafuyu’s palm. “Someone’s in a good mood this morning, huh?”
(Mafuyu wondered if Mizuki knew how truly adorable her voice sounded when it was worn with the effects of sleep.)
Mafuyu hummed. “Of course,” she told her softly, closing the small gap between them to press their foreheads together. She nuzzled their noses together for a moment, and when Mizuki giggled, she pressed a fleeting kiss to her lips to quieten her and feel the hum of it against her skin.
It was hardly enough, when her laughter only increased the moment she pulled away, but when Mizuki lifted her hand to blanket Mafuyu’s, she quickly found herself distracted with the small, silver band around her ring finger. The small gemstone in the middle of it (alexandrite, the one she’d claimed to have fallen in love with because it reminded her of Mafuyu’s eyes), glinted in the light.
“Of course I am,” she repeated, bringing her eyes back to Mizuki’s immensely, immeasurably warm ones. “I got to marry you, didn’t I?”
(And when Mizuki nodded again, laughing still in that small, utterly fond way of hers一 that was all it took for Mafuyu to close the distance between them from a few centimeters to none: another, longer kiss of the many, many more in a forever only the two of them could share.)