Work Text:
Red looks for his next victim to gun down
He sees a large group of people and remembers what Green always says about large crowds
Red: "shoot and run" he mutters
Red smirks as he finds a good trail to run
Red: "All I gotta do is shoot.."
He aims for the main man on the stage in the front and fires
Red bolts sweat trickling down his forehead
Red laughs as he runs to skeld to get to polus
The people behind him scream in horror
Red: "Geez over dramatic much?"
Red: "big babies"
Red chuckles as he closes the skeld doors
Gray sits on the uncomfortable skeld chairs
Gray: "Whats so funny?"
Red: "I just killed someone"
Gray: "Its never THAT funny"
Gray: "What ACTUALLY happened"
Red: "The croud was so over dramatic!" "They were screaming and crying because some motivational speaker died"
Gray: "Whatever"
Red rolls his eyes
Red: "If you didn't care why did you ask?"
Red sits next to Green and puts his legs up on the other empty seat
Red: "Hey hotcock"
Green: "Sup Red"
Green: "Do you know why yellow keeps calling me?"
Red: "Not really"
Green scoffs
Green: "come on if he's mad and able to call me it's totes your fault"
Red stretches
Red: "I killed some motivational speaker or something"
Red: "Maybe he liked the guy I don't know"
Green: "Mind aswell pick up"
Green picks up the phone to hear sad and enraged yellow on the other line
Yellow: "Charlie kirk is FUCKING DEAD!"
Green looks confused
Green: "Who even is that?"
Red is still sprawled on the 2 chairs, unaware that he just killed a right-wing political activist
Yellow hangs up angrily grumbling about Green's lack of intelligence
Green: "Wow! dick alert.."
Red scoffed
Red: "So what's he even mad about?"
Green: "Some dude named Charlie kirk died"
Red looks confused
Red: "Cool?"
Gray looks intrigued
Gray: "What about Charlie kirk?"
Red: "I dunno he's dead"
Gray looks surprised
Gray: "Really?"
Green: "Yeah"
Gray gets up and does a backflip
Green: "ok"
Red looks worried
Red: "What did this guy LOOK like?"
Gray: "White, weird hair, weird face, ugly smile, square head".
Red stays silent, That matches the man he just shot
Red: "Alright..."
Green: "Dude you look sweaty"
They land next to airship and the doors blast open
Black and white stand with a furious yellow keeping their knifes close to his mouth so he doesn't scream
White giggles
They lean towards Red
White: "Did you hear the news?"
Black silently sits down holding onto yellow like he's a popsicle
Red: "Yeah?"
Red: "What about it?"
White: "How saddd"
White mimics a tear from their eye while giggling
They walk away and sit next to black
Yellow: "Can I speak now?"
Black grumbles like that was the stupidest question ever
White: "I mean I don't mind"
Black gives a small thumbs up
Yellow: "Green I swear!"
Yellow continues to lecture Green while being 7 feet in the air and now upside down
The screaming match goes on until pink and her two kids walk in
Pink: "Put my husband down!"
Black scoffs and shakes yellow like a rattle before throwing him down on his face
Pink kneels down to yellow
Pink: "Why were you screaming so loudly?"
Green: "He's mad Charlie kirk died and I don't care"
Pink looks sad and stares at yellow
Pink: "Dearie I never knew you were a Conservative.."
Yellow doesn't look ashamed infact he looks really proud
Black looks annoyed while White rolls their eyes
Red rasies his hand
Pink: "Whats up red"
Red: "Can we throw out yellow"
Black smiles
White: "Yeah can we throw yellow overboard?"
Black grabs yellow and dangles him out the window
Pink: "MY HUSBAND!!"
Pink: "YOU KNOW I DONT MIND BEING A TRAD WIFE!"
Yellow: "Really?"
Pink: "no"
Black chuckles and pulls yellow closer to her mouth
Black: "𝓘'𝓶 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓪 𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓘𝓷 𝓿𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝔁𝓾𝓪𝓵 𝔀𝓪𝔂𝓼"
Yellow blushes
Yellow: "Oh my god please do"
Pink: "What?"
Pink: "What did he say?"
Black continues to hold onto yellow as they speak with white
White: "Ohh I see"
White: "Absolutely"
Skeld lands on plous and the three walk away with a very flustered yellow
Red follows slowly behind them with green, pink and gray trailing behind him
Green: "Red!" "Wait up!!"
Gray: "Yeah red!"
Pink runs past red, trying to catch up with yellow, her kids running behind
Red walks into lab trying to pretend not to hear them
Green and gray corner him in specimen
Gray: "Dude I need to ask why you got so nervous when I told you what Charlie kirk looked like"
Red: "He just sounded.. really ugly." "And I get really nervous around people.. I consider ugly"
Green looks suspicious
Red: "Come on Green!" "Don't look at me like that!"
Gray: "You're telling me that the description of Charlie kirk scares you?"
Red: "yes"
Green: "I'm sorry but that is so unbelievable"
Yellow dizzily walks in with black and white following behind with maroon laughing
Pink scurrys in angrily
Green: "Come on dude it's not that hard!"
Red starts to tear up
Gray: "Dude you are NOT afraid of ugly people just tell the truth!"
Red mumbles
Green: "What?"
Red: "I-"
Gray: "Say it!"
Red: "I Killed Charlie kirk! IT'S MY FAULT!"
The room goes silent
Red: "I-I shot him.."
Yellow pushes the two out of the way and pins Red to the wall
Yellow: "You.. WHAT?!"
Yellow curls up his fist and says a slur against gay people that I'm NOT FUCKING WRITING
Yellow: "I can't fucking BELIEVE YOU!"
Red looks scared but then remembers he has a litteral gun
Red immediately shoots yellow before he can say another slur
Red is still crying and runs away and drops 50mg of crack
Gray: "Hey mom?"
Black: "What?"
Gray: "Can I.." "Have crack"
Black: "Ts pmo tsl fo tuff"
Gray: "ok"
Gray violently snorts crack, has a seizure and dies
Green: "Red! Come back!!"
Green sprints after Red
Red is weeping in a corner
Green: "Oh red.."
Green: "Do you want to get 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂"
Red: "s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sempai!! a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-absolutely!!"
Green bends Red over on his knee and fingers his slowly and sweetly
Red: "Ngh~"
Green: "Gooood boooy"
Green: "You're a good boy righttt~"
Red: "Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hotcock~"
Red whimpers and moans as green goes deeper and deeper
Green: "You're getting extra stuffing for shooting Charlie kirk"
Red: "A-Ah~ T-t-t-thank you hotcock.."
Red moans as he gets as promised
Red: "I-I-I-I wanna give you something in return"
Red starts to give Green sloppy head
Green: "Goood boy"
Green pushes Red deeper
Red grabs Green's hips
Green looks flustered
(They lowk get freaky freaky for another hour)
Red and green walk out of specimen room, holding hands
Red: "We should tell Warchief and Jelqer"
Green: "Who is Warchief"
Red: "ok"
Pink sniffles
Pink: "Poor Charile kirk lowkey I'm so sad"
Red: "Mb fam"
Pink: "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU UGLY OBESE TWINK"
Red: "Damn nvm I'm gonna kill Charile kirk again"
Pink: "Please red I'm kinda Charlie kirkless"
Pink cries
Pink: "Why you trying not to laugh vro that's disrespectful as shit"
As Pink cries, the two walk away
They walk on Black sitting alone in cafe
Black grumbles when they see the 2
Black: "I cannot believe you killed Charlie kirk"
Black does a kick flip
Black: "You are so skibidi lowk no cap"
Red: "Ty gng"
Green: "Where White I NEED their eyeshadow routine"
Black sighed and points outside towards the lava pit
White is talking to maroon about eyeliner or something idfk man I want some lays
Red: "Please help White"
White: "With what?"
Green: "WE NEEEED AN EYESHADOW TUT PLEASE GNG I'LL SUCK UR DIHH FOR IT OMFG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE "
White: "Lowk you killed Charlie kirk and I fw with that"
Red: "Please vro"
White: "so sure"
Green: "THANK GOD"
Maroon: "Did yall just forget I even exist"
Red gets scared by Maroon jump scaring him and emptys his gun barrel
White stares in horror
White: "Nvm vro that's really uncool"
Green: "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO"
Green: "I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED THIS EYESHADOW TUT RIGHT FUCKING NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
White: "lmao keep crying"
Green: "I'M GOING TO COMMIT THE BLOOD EAGEL ON YOU"
White stops laughing
White: "What?"
Green: "ℜ𝔢𝔡 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔯𝔬𝔰𝔰"
Red: "duhhh oke"
White chuckles
White: "You're kidding right?"
Red comes back with a giant cross and hammers it into the ground
Green: "Ok you do the restraining red"
Green: "Alr chat if white screams they a little goo goo gaga baby"
White: "LET GO OF ME THE FUCK???"
Green starts a small cut on whites back
White: "owwwww :("
Green: "haha little baby"
Green proceeds to rip apart their ribcage
White:
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White dies of blood loss or smth
Green rips out their lungs and pins them to a cross
Green: "Thats a W bois no cap!1!11!!!"
Red: "ok"
Black: "My polycouple bro.."
Green: "Mb but they didn't spill eyeshadow routine"
Black: "Why is maroon dead then"
Red: "He scare me :("
Black starts to tear up
Red: "what?"
Black: "I have been diagnosed with genital herpes"
Green: "Totally radical bro!"
Red: "Thats so skibidi fam!"
Black: "You two make me want to commit unspeakable crimes on Germany in 2067"
Red: "HOLY SHIT SHE JUST SAID 67"
Green: "67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67"
Black: "NO"
Green: "67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67 67"
Black: "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Black bashes their head into a rock
Red: "..."
Green: "..."
Red: "That was NOT skibidi"