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When Fluixon blinks open his eyes, the first thing he sees is a familiar white figure in the distance, back facing him.
His heart drops as he recognises the person — the clothes, the stance, the hair he's spent so much time gently raking his fingers through — and his feet start moving underneath him without his permission, breaking into a mad dash towards the man in the distance. He trips over his own boots a few times, but he doesn't slow, pushing off against the ground harder and harder with every step.
When he reaches the man, he stumbles to his knees and bows his head down shamefully, pathetically, hands balling into fits on his thighs.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Fluixon's voice cracks, weak and fragile. His bottom lip quivers, as do his shoulders.
Saparata finally turns around to face Fluixon. He looks surprised at first, but he schools his features and his expression is unreadable.
He remains silent, so Fluixon continues.
"I'm sorry for betraying you. I'm sorry for leaving you on your own. I'm sorry for letting them kill you."
Saparata doesn't respond. Fluixon squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath.
"I'm sorry for keeping everything from you."
Saparata doesn't respond, and tears start running down Fluixon's cheeks. He bites his lip.
"I'm sorry for continuing to love you."
Fluixon keeps his head bowed as he awaits Saparata's answer. He would like to apologise for a million other things, even petty things like staying in Saparata's home without proper invitation whenever he wanted, or not splitting diamonds evenly when they went mining that first day. He would like to, but he didn't want to bother Saparata with an overwhelming amount of topics to address. He doesn't have the right.
"Flux."
That kind, gentle, nasally voice that shatters Fluixon's heart in the sweetest way. His heart swells so much he thinks it might burst, and his tears couldn't stop falling.
He's missed him so much, he's missed his name on Saparata's lips, and he feels guilty for it.
"Look at me."
Fluixon raises his head, purple eyes meeting dark ones, begging for— anything, really. A smile, a laugh, a spit on the face.
Saparata sighs, and opens his arms wide.
Fluixon's eyes go wide, and the next thing he knows he's flung himself into Saparata's embrace and he's holding him tight.
He melts into the hug and the magic of Saparata's touch has dissolved him into pudding, flimsily leaning his entire body weight onto Saps, who takes it all as he has done countless times.
He knows he must look like the world's biggest fool, crying his eyes and lungs out into the dip of Saparata's neck and shoulder, but he doesn't care because he might as well be the biggest fool, with his body pressed against Saparata's gentle warmth and Saparata's arm around his waist and his other hand combing through his hair and Saparata's saying something he doesn't understand but it's okay, it's all okay, because he is here and he is with his Saparata. He could be foolish for his Saparata.
Saparata slowly brings Fluixon into a sitting position, and Fluixon falls onto him even more.
Saparata presses a kiss against Fluixon's temple as an attempt to calm him down (it was what he always did), but Fluixon starts wailing even harder, so Saparata just starts murmuring sweet things into his eyes and swaying them comfortingly.
By the time Fluixon's wailing has reduced to a sort of mess of whimpers, sniffles and sobs, Saparata decides that it's probably okay to peel his arms off, although he barely creates any distance. He coaxes Fluixon's head out of the grave it had dug itself on Saparata's shoulder and holds it inches from his own face.
Fluixon looks like a kicked puppy, and Saparata uses his thumb to wipe some of the tears off of his face gently and one hand moves to play with his dark curls, while the other stays stroking Fluixon's jaw.
"Am I allowed to love you still?" Fluixon croaks out, hopeful.
Saparata seems to contemplate for a moment and Fluixon's heart falls a little, but he nods after a while.
"...do you love me?" Spills out of Fluixon's mouth, so quiet Saparata almost couldn't hear it.
Saparata looks away, seemingly contemplating again, and then he turns back and presses his lips to Fluixon's nose, then his lips.
Fluixon's eyes widen, and suddenly the fear that he would start crying again after he had just calmed down pops into Saparata's head, but then he places his face onto Saparata's chest and squeezes him tight. Saparata giggles, wrapping his arms around him again and returning the embrace.
After a while, Fluixon peers up again. "I meant every word I said just now. Every apology."
Saparata hums. "I know."
Fluixon breathes out, "and I meant what I said in the arena, too. I can't say no to you, Saps. Only you."
Saparata smiles a little. "I know that too."
Fluixon grips Saparata a little harder, and he ghosts his lips on Saparata's neck. "I've missed you so much. I couldn't live without you. I really couldn't. I regret every stupid, selfish, misguided mistake I made on Pandora, and on Yggdrasil, too."
Saparata traces circles onto Fluixon's back with his finger. "I've missed you, too, Flux. Life and death without you has been so miserable, darling."
Fluixon's heart flutters at that. "I love you, Saps."
Saparata laughs and leans down to kiss his cheek. "I love you, Flux."