Work Text:
Text Conversation: Bruce & Theodosia
Theodosia: I've been thinking
Bruce: Thinking is a good thing!
Theodosia: Jason says it's bad when I think too much????????
Bruce: Don't listen to him, he's a chronic overthinker.
Theodosia: kjfhgkjlll
Bruce: I do not know that acronym… kill jesus fucking hell god kill jesus live laugh love?
Theodosia:
Theodosia: It's a keyboard smash bruce
Bruce: I see.
Theodosia: Like i was laughing
Bruce: Why would you not use "LOL," Theodosia?
Theodosia: Oh my GOD, bruce, no one says LOL anymore
Theodosia: Also can u not call me that anymore?
Bruce: Theodosia?
Theodosia: yeah
Bruce: Okay. I can't call you, you know, though. Despite your assurances that this "WhatsApp" is encrypted.
Theodosia: I actually used additional encrypting soooooooo
Bruce: Regardless, it is a risk. So, is there a new name you wish to be called?
Text Conversation: Red Hood & Robin
Robin: SOS
Robin: [Play voice memo:]
Hood: oh
Hood: my
Hood: god
Hood: I'm literally in the middle of interrogating a drug dealer and you messaged me on my RED HOOD PHONE and I thought it was an emergency
Robin: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY HOOD
Hood: fucking FINE hold on
Robin: i don't have a hold on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hood: alright bad guy knocked out jeez
Robin: nice
Hood: Anyway… how the fuck do you want me to help you with this?
Robin: idk but B just texted me AGAIN
Hood: just tell him you're helping me with something dumbass
Robin: yeah okay
Robin: what names have we tried out????
Hood: none of them stuck I thought
Robin: HELP ME
Hood: okay so I found the list but it's on my other phone, i'm going to read them off okay?
Hood: [Play voice memo:]
Robin: no they still itch to be thought of being called them
Hood: okay yeah, a few more
Hood: [Play voice memo:]
Robin: huh is it?
Robin: yeah I listened again
Robin: Tim
Robin: Timmy? no
Robin: Timothy
Robin: nah just Tim
Hood: so… Tim?
Robin: yeah I think so
Hood: cool, because fuckhead is waking up i gtg
Robin: 👍
Robin: OH AND, so we dont get in trouble w b
[Messages erased]
Text Conversation: Bruce & Theodosia
Bruce: Regardless, it is a risk. So, is there a new name you wish to be called?
Bruce: Hello?
Bruce: Please report in.
Theodosia: Sorry, J called on my other phone gotta help with a You Know
Bruce: I see. Is he okay?
Theodosia: yeah he's fine, just needs me to look someething up
Bruce: Understood. Please report in when you are done.
Theodosia: it worked I stalled B
Bruce: Stalled me?
Theodosia: fuck shit wrong person
Theodosia: i
Theodosia: brb
[Voicemail:]
Bruce: Buddy, why did that go directly to voicemail?
Theodosia: hi sorry I wasn't stalling nope not at all
Theodosia: Tim
Bruce: Tim?
Theodosia: Call me tim please
Bruce: Timothy Drake. I like it. Have you chosen a middle name?
Tim: I think just tim for the first name and no middle name
Tim: I wanted to pick peter but jason said not to copy him
Bruce: Jason was very proud of himself for picking a middle name, yes. You have time to figure it out. When will you be telling Janet and Jack?
Tim: idk
Tim: anyway how do I get on T?
Bruce: [Link: uofgothamhealth.org/gender-affirming-care]
Bruce: But we will need parent consent.
Text Conversation: Jason & Tim
Tim: SOS
Jason: pls stop sending me SOS before you turn boy who cried wolf
Tim: But its an actual emergency
Tim: also so was the last one??
Tim: ANYWAY
Tim: [Play voice memo:]
Jason: i see
Jason: three solutions for you
Jason: 1) yeah I think bruce could sign off on it if you did some computer magic and made him your guardian. or like 2) you could forge your parents signatures? but also 3) you could hit up my friend penn because they run a clinic for people who can't afford it
Tim: I usually don't mind doing illegal things but
Tim: If i go w 1 then Bruce might think my parents are transphobic or refuse and if i go w 2 then i'm doing something illegal which i don't usually mind but this is only for my benefit but is 3 even safe
Jason: bruce wouldn't say no but anyway, yeah, penn knows what's they're doing
Jason: i wouldn't call someone who did something unsafe to trans people a FRIEND, timbo
Tim: Timbo?
Jason: deal with it
Tim: Okay but then i'm like taking resources away from people in need
Jason: you get like an allowance or a trust fund or something right?
Tim: OH
Jason: just donate to penn's clinic in exchange for gender affirming care, win-win y'know?
Text Conversation: Bruce & Tim
Tim: [Play voice memo:]
Bruce: If you are concerned about your parents paying for it, I will do so. However, I would prefer not to go behind their backs.
Tim: But like we already have been?
Bruce: I specifically told you about the LEGAL route and to get parent permission. You opted for illegal, Tim.
Tim: No it's not illegal I'm literally funding an organization to help underprivileged trans people.
Bruce: Touché. Regardless, it is not the legal avenue to obtaining testosterone, in the grand scheme of things.
Tim: blah blah legal blah blah
Bruce: Tim.
Tim: Bruce.
Bruce:
FWD:

Tim: Did you just forward me my own text?
Bruce: I couldn't find the image in my phone and it perfectly encapsulated how you are making me feel in this moment.
Tim: Back to the subject thnx
Bruce: Ah, yes. If you wish to go forward with surgery prior to your parents arriving in town, I will gladly sign off as a guardian, provided you accept the forgery of such documents to achieve gender euphoria? I will pay for it out of pocket as well, as I know your finances are currently going towards… Penn.
Tim: I'll think about it.
Text Conversation: Jason & Tim
Tim: SOS
Jason: 🔪
Tim: Hey that's what my SOS is!!
Jason: omg tim why are you not texting me from the batphone are you okay????
Tim: Awwww you do care!
Jason: TIMOTHY SHORTSTACK DRAKE
Tim: That would be a terrible middle name jay
Jason: what did you need
Tim: So bruce offered to pay for me to get top surgery
Jason: and this is an SOS bc why?
Tim: [Play voice memo:]
Jason: have you met penn's boyfriend freddy yet?
Tim: I don't think so
Jason: well lemme just say that freddy can give you the ole top chop like in a week, no waiting, no government, no owing bruce
Tim: SIGN ME THE FUCK UP BRO
Text Conversation: Jason & Tim
Tim: Good news!
Tim: My parents aren't transphobic!
Tim: Bad news!
Tim: [Play voice memo:]
Jason: this is above my pay grade
Tim: I don't pay you????
Jason: exACTLY MY POINT
bonus: letter sent to Mr. Bruce Thomas Wayne from Drs. Jack and Janet Drake.
Dear Mr. Bruce Thomas Wayne,
This letter is served as a notice of your unwarranted harassment activities, or the equivalent thereof. You are hereby required to cease and desist all attacks on our family. While we love and support our son, Tim, you have been encouraging reckless behavior. Your relationship with him is highly irregular. Some may say problematic, frankly. While we support that he has found a mentor in a successful trans man, the choices you have made regarding his transition were not your place to do so. By allowing him to obtain his testosterone and double mastectomy—known as a "top surgery"—in back alleys, you have put his life at risk in a way that we cannot allow as parents.
If you do not cease communication with our son, Tim Drake, we will be forced to file a harassment lawsuit against you.
We know that you do not wish to bring our private distaste for one another into the public eye. Therefore, we request that you comply with our requests immediately. You have five business days to formally cut ties with our son, citing guilt over the betrayal of his parents, or our hands will be forced.
Sincerely,
Drs. Jack and Janet Drake
Bruce stares down at the letter in his hands. Delivered via certified post, as if the Drakes do not live only a property over. He could just… walk over there and talk to them about this. Which, okay, he'd tried to do. Which may have been the issue, may be why they escalated from frosty voicemails to this.
"JASON," Bruce yells, the name echoing down the halls. "Get your ass down to the foyer. Immediately!"
