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Ookurikara slid the shoji shut behind him.
"How is he doing?"
He startled, glancing back and forth before he registered Kashuu seated at the engawa's edge. Their eyes bored into each other for a tense moment.
"He woke up for a bit," he said, which he knew was a paltry answer.
Kashuu didn't press it; instead, he gestured for Ookurikara to take a seat beside him, and Ookurikara obliged despite himself.
Nothing was said for some time. They gazed out at the garden together, blanketed in ankle-deep snow and silent as the grave. Before their sortie, though the trees had been barren and the pond thinly iced over, they'd had yet to see the first snowfall of the winter. Ookurikara hadn't given much thought to it until now, but that would have been Kashagiri's first time seeing snow in this body; instead he'd been stuck with them on the battlefield, gotten himself hurt because of it.
Kashuu finally chose to break the silence. "I know you don't like to talk much." He met Ookurikara's pointed gaze evenly before continuing. "But I can tell you care about Kashagiri a lot. Just as much as you care about Tsurumaru, Shokudaikiri, and Sadamune."
"I don't care about getting along with them," Ookurikara retorted. It sounded half-hearted, even to him.
"Mm, that's not really what I said. But sure, I'll take it," Kashuu said. "I just wanted to say, though. As our master's attendant, and as your captain, I want you to be able to talk to me. You don't have to consider it 'getting along' if you don't want to. We've been comrades long enough that I still want to hear your thoughts. It might help."
Ookurikara took a long, long moment before he responded. Breathed in and out, looked out at the garden and beyond it to the white-painted hills, closed his eyes to ruminate.
How many years had he been here now? Nine, ten? Time had always passed him by so quickly in his old form. Even though the days stretched longer in this body, the years seemed to blur together just as readily. He figured that, in all these years, he'd done a fair bit of opening up already. He did his duties around the citadel, he obeyed orders from Kashuu whenever they sortied. He was cooperative.
Maybe not enough, though, if it was getting his fellow Hiromitsu hurt.
Finally, looking not at Kashuu but at the socks on his feet, he said, "I don't like this. Being responsible for someone else. Looking after them."
"You seem to look after the other Date swords just fine."
"They look after themselves. I'm just around. But Kashagiri's…very young. Or acts like it. I didn't expect that."
"Guess I knew what it was gonna be," Kashuu said. "I wish I had more experience with this. I've never had to worry about the Shinsengumi guys—well, actually, Yasusada has his own problems…"
"But you still asked to talk," Ookurikara said flatly.
"Look, I just wanted you to know that you can—"
"No, it's fine." Ookurikara leaned his weight back on his hands. "I know. I'm trying. Just don't press it."
"Got it," Kashuu said, a forced singsong in his voice.
They lapsed into silence once more. As the seconds stretched into minutes, snow began to drift from the sky.
Several pairs of feet came shuffling down the engawa. Ookurikara and Kashuu looked up to see Namazuo and Honebami, with Imanotsurugi and a few Toushirou tantou close behind.
"Oh, you guys were still here after all," Namazuo said. Without asking, he took a seat beside Ookurikara, with Honebami following suit.
"Akita and Mouri wanted to play in the snow a bit," Honebami said. "And Ichi-nii is still out on his expedition, so we're supervising."
"And I'm joining!" Imanotsurugi added.
Namazuo cleared his throat. "And we wanted to drop some things off for when Kashagiri wakes up. Are you doing all right, Ookurikara?"
He frowned, but Kashuu leaned back to give the Toushirous a smile.
"Aww. That's really nice of you guys. We'll give Kashagiri his things when he comes out."
Ookurikara frowned deeper when the small group still looked to him.
"I'm fine," he said, knowing he would convince nobody but determined to try nonetheless.
"Yeah, we thought you'd say that," Namazuo sighed. "It was worth a try."
"How is Kashagiri?" Honebami probed.
"Woke up for a bit, he says," Kashuu answered for him. "Hey, you guys can go on ahead. We'll come meet up with you when Kashagiri's awake."
"Don't make plans for me," Ookurikara said.
"Hey, Ookurikara-san," Namazuo responded, paying his complaint no mind. "The first time I got injured badly on a sortie, Ichi-nii hovered over me a lot. It was actually kinda stifling, really. But I still don't think it's a bad thing to let your brother know how worried you are, even if you don't feel like you're doing it right, or something like that."
"And I'm sure he'd appreciate the company if you both came along to join us," Honebami added.
"Okay, okay, that's enough! Tell Kashagiri-sama we're waiting for him!"
The others offered their well wishes to be passed along when Kashagiri woke up, left their items—a scarf belonging to Namazuo and a pair of thick socks Imanotsurugi "just had lying around"—and went on their way. Once they were around the corner, Kashuu fixed Ookurikara with his deadpan stare.
"Captain's orders. Come have fun with us."
"You—"
"Ahh, and he did a better job than me at offering advice. Shouldn't underestimate those Awataguchi bonds."
"Was that Namazuo who came by?"
Kashuu and Ookurikara startled together at the voice behind them; they hadn't heard the shoji opening at all. What a wakizashi thing to do.
"I'm awake, by the way."
"Kashagiri!" Kashuu leapt to his feet. "I'm so sorry. I was supposed to be looking out for you as your captain. Are you feeling all right?"
"I'm fine," he said, locking his eyes on the floor.
Ookurikara was thankful to be the only one still seated, because he couldn't help the smirk that glanced across his mouth, and Kashuu wouldn't have let him hear the end of it if he'd seen.
"You Hiromitsus," Kashuu groaned. "Whatever. Ookurikara, would you?"
"Here." Ookurikara, having collected himself, rose to his feet with their teammates' gifts in hand. "You should put these on. It's snowing."
"Oh," Kashagiri said. "Thank you."
His voice always pitched higher when they spoke directly; he clipped his sentences short as always, like Ookurikara did himself, but the way he did it seemed bashful rather than aloof. Ookurikara hadn't been able to fathom why that was at first. He figured fellow Hiromitsus should be able to approach each other on level terms.
But, again, Kashagiri did seem very young.
"Oh, it's snowing," Kashagiri added, gazing out at the garden.
"Your first time seeing it, right?" Ookurikara asked.
Kashagiri nodded in response. "It's really pretty."
At the quiet wonder in his voice, Ookurikara felt his brow furrow a little. He didn't mean to do it, but he wasn't sure how else to react to a voice that soft.
"Here." He shrugged off his jacket and handed it over. "You should wear this. There's some others gathering to play in the snow, or something."
"You want to head over now, Kashagiri?" Kashuu asked, reasserting his presence. When Ookurikara looked back at him, Kashuu's face was bright with a grin that made him kind of uncomfortable, for reasons he could understand objectively but didn't feel like articulating to himself.
"Yeah, sure—oh, but I don't have any shoes with me—"
"I'll get them," Kashuu offered. "You two go meet up with the others first."
Without waiting for a response, he dashed down the walkway and out of sight, leaving the pair of Hiromitsus alone in the cold and quiet.
Ookurikara cleared his throat to speak.
"I'm glad you're okay, Kashagiri. I was worried."
"You…were?"
"Yeah. Anybody would be. You were hurt badly."
A protracted moment passed where they both looked at the ground instead of each other.
"And you're a Hiromitsu. I should look out for you." His face felt uncharacteristically warm, but having said it, Ookurikara's shoulders finally lost some of the tension they'd held since that disastrous sortie.
"I…um…thank you. I appreciate that." Kashagiri's face was similarly warm.
"Good." Ookurikara fidgeted with the ends of his hair. "Well. Let's not keep the others waiting, I guess."
Kashagiri nodded. "For sure."
They set off together. Out of the corner of his eye, Ookurikara noticed Kashagiri clutching the front of his loaned jacket tight.
This was tolerable, he supposed.